A Look Ahead: 4 Plays and Some Short Stories Including the Incumbent

By Greg T. Carson

A family of four gather for a meal as they joke with one another. A traveler at a bus stop engages in conversation. A room in a board-and-care facility gets hyped while a bus relocates from town to town. A young man gains experience in life working at a carnival and learns the rudiments of business. An adult female works for a car-rental outlet and undertakes to kill on the side. A porn star makes a living and gratifies his urges while a young man learns the lessons of life from the perspective of a mental patient.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Aug 17, 2018
• ISBN: 9781984543288

Greg T. Carson

Greg T. Carson has a masters degree in social science from Binghamton University. An accomplished writer, he has written many books that are available on the internet. His writings include The Journeys End, Mental Illness/Anthology, The Novela, The Adolescent and The Christened. He was born in Syracuse, New York and has traveled extensively throughout the states. He has published articles in reviews, poems in anthologies and editorials in newspapers and college publications. The author is an avid reader and enjoys lifting weights. He makes his home in Los Angeles and New York State and looks forward to producing more literary works.

Book preview

Dinner at Five

Directed by

Dramaturg:

Cast

Urwin: father of three

Marilyn: mother of three

Mickey: seventeen-year-old

Suzy: thirteen-year-old

Sissey: nine-year-old

(The scene is a dinner table in the middle of the room. Seated are: Urwin, Mickey, Suzy and Sissey. The mother is offstage.)

Mickey. What’s for dinner, pop?

Urwin. Wait for your mother. She hasn’t missed a meal. Not in the nineteen years I’ve been slaving in the brickyard.

Suzy. Weren’t you supposed to get a raise?

Urwin. The only raise I got was with your mother. Although I wish I and she used birth control pills.

Sissey. I’m telling Mommy. I’m telling Mommy.

(Mom enters dining room with dishes of food. Sits down.)

Marilyn. Hi guys. How was your day? Oops! I forgot the vegetables.

(She leaves stage right.)

Mickey. Pass the biscuits.

Sissey. Daddy, I think I’m ugly.

Urwin. You were an ugly baby. Your mother was ugly too.

Mickey. Suzy and I were to do a skit on stage at school come a moniker of a talk show host, Letterman.

Urwin. Don’t forget to buy Mom a Mother’s Day card.

Suzy. What kind? Hallmark? What about a box of chocolates?

Urwin. You know Mom has a fat ass.

Sissey. By the way Dad, you’re a card. Do I have to eat the carrots? I hate them.

Urwin. They don’t like you either.

Sissey. Why’s that?

Urwin. Why do you think?

(Marilyn comes back with the veggies)

Urwin. Pass the chicken. Pass the potatoes. Suzy, stop eating too much or you’ll plug the toilet again.

Urwin. By the way kids, Marilyn, I got a raise today and to celebrate I brought home an ice cream cake and with the price of it we can afford one next year as well. I hope you kids appreciate it. Your mom could have a small portion as she’s fat enough.

Sissey. Dad you said you didn’t get a raise.

Urwin. I wanted to see if you guys would spill the beans.

Marilyn. Kids what else did he say?

Sissey. You don’t want to know.

Urwin. It’s my responsibility. I’m the one who brings home the bacon.

Marilyn. You married me when I was thin. After three kids you’d be ponderous. But you’re ugly too.

Urwin. Maybe so.

(Urwin looks across the table.)

Urwin. Mickey, now that you’re a young man of seventeen years what are you gonna do with your life?

Mickey. I’m gonna get into pornography.

Urwin. I’m serious young man, your mother and myself want you to go to college.

Mickey. Screw that! It’s my life. I want to fuck for a living. I even fucked Suzy.

Urwin. Watch your language young man. You’re still not too old for me to take you over my knee.

Mickey. Screw you Dad.

Suzy. Dad could throw you through a wall.

(Urwin lights up a cigar.)

Suzy. Daddy I need some new sneakers for softball.

Marilyn. Urwin, Keds are the cheapest although some more popular items are available.

Suzy. Mommy can I get New Balance? Mickey and I are having sex.

Urwin. You’ll get the cheapest brand. Your brother plays basketball with a cheap edition. Are you still dating that girl, you know?

Mickey. Kelly?

Urwin. Yeah, that girl who has a car and she goes with you, a vocational mechanic in high school. I saw that one coming.

Mickey. I did cum Dad but be assured. She and I used protection.

Marilyn. Mickey, you’re too young to have sex.

Mickey. What Mom? Kids are having sex at seven years.

Marilyn. But you can get a young girl pregnant even with protection.

Mickey. Mom you’re too old to have sex.

Marilyn. In your case I wish I was that old eighteen years ago.

Sissey. Daddy, tell us a joke, please.

Urwin. This man went to see a psychiatrist with a duck on his head. The psychiatrist says Can I help you? And the duck goes, Will you get this man off my ass?

(Laughter.)

Suzy. You guys want to hear what Mickey and I went on stage at school to do a skit onto the one I mentioned previously to you guys. Here goes: You get stung by a?

Mickey. A bee.

Suzy. Another name for ocean.

Mickey. Sea.

Suzy. What do some say in lieu of down?

Mickey. I don’t know.

Suzy. You should know. What does an idiot say?

Mickey. Eeh.

Suzy. I get poked in the.

Mickey. Eye.

Suzy. Danny who.

Mickey. Kaye.

Suzy. The Spanish equivalent of the.

Mickey. El.

Suzy. What do you say when someone makes a point?

Mickey. Oh.

Suzy. What do you do in the bathroom?

Mickey. Pee.

Suzy. What do you play pool with?

Mickey. Cue.

Suzy. What rhymes with car?

Mickey. Are.

Suzy. What is being in Thomas Aquinos’ philosophy?

Mickey. Esse.

Suzy. What goes with graham crackers and crimpets?

Mickey. Tea.

Suzy. Who that is not me.

Mickey. You.

Suzy. What goes after groov?

Mickey. Vee.

Suzy. How many is uu?

Mickey. W.

Suzy. What comes after ea.

Mickey. Zy.

Suzy. What do you guys think of this little skit.

(Marilyn looks at the three kids)

Marilyn. Your father has something to tell you kids. It’s about money. I know we lived as a struggling family.

Urwin. I signed up with a life insurance policy so that when I perish you will be taken care of.

Suzy. Daddy that is just one more reason why we want you dead.

Marilyn. Suzy’s teacher says she has a wonderful personality and a sense of humor.

Suzy. No mommy, I was serious.

Urwin. Apologize Suzy or you’ll inherit ten cents.

Suzy. Make it eleven Daddy and you’ll have a deal.

Urwin. Suzy either apologize or go to your room.

Suzy. No. You go to your room.

Marilyn. Suzy that’s enough.

Suzy. Up yours Mommy.

Mickey. Quiet Suzy or else.

Suzy. You shut up. You’re a lousy lay.

Mickey. You did, really did it. Mom. She won’t get pregnant. We used contraception.

Sissey. You’re bad Suzy. How can you do this?

Suzy. I have needs you guys. Oh boy I’m sorry. Dad you’re too young to have life insurance.

Urwin. That’s what your grandfather thought. That’s why I chose to be safe than sorry.

Suzy. I want to watch Star Search.

Marilyn. First you watch your homework.

Suzy. There’s a boy at school I’d like to date.

Urwin. Yeah! What’s his name? How old is he?

Suzy. His name is Ron Balaf and he’s fifteen years old. He plays basketball.

Urwin. What’s his father say all about this?

Suzy. They approve of it.

Urwin. Well, I’ll talk to them. You two do your homework then you can watch TV. But at nine I’ll watch football. Miami is playing the Bills.

Sissey. You still rooting for the Dolphins?

Urwin. Your father played basketball as well. Suzy and Sissey watch your lazy brother; he’ll do a disgrace to the family.

Mickey. I’ve been considering going to college. And that’s out of the question. I want to take advantage of my looks.

Suzy. That’s a real problem.

Sissey. Mickey you’re uglier than Dad.

Marilyn. That’s impossible.

Urwin. You likesay… though.

Marilyn. It’s thinking like you that do family and society appreciable damage. That’s why you are so corrupt.

Urwin. At least Mickey has gone so far. You two girls are incorrigible. Where did you come up with these blasphemous comments? Your mother and I feel that you two are impertinent, inappropriate and profane.

Suzy. You forgot to tell us that these are our better qualities.

Mickey. You know if I said something like that when I was thirteen your mother would wash my mouth with soap.

Sissey. I thought that was why you had bad breath.

Mickey. Not really I used toothpaste for that. By the way Sissey I like you. But then again I like trenchmouth. How’s your music class going?

Sissey. Thanks for asking but it’s none of your business.

Marilyn. Your brother is concerned. That’s why he asked you about it.

Sissey. Alright. It’s going well. How are your classes?

Mickey. I have a B average.

Sissey. What does that mean?

Mickey. It means my younger sister is a bum. How are your classes going Suzy?

Suzy. Better than yours.

Marilyn. The neighbors are complaining that you are playing that electric guitar too loud.

Mickey. Why can’t I lift weights but not play that guitar? Believe me it’s easier to play a guitar.

Marilyn. I heard from your cousin Jenny this afternoon. She says everything is copacetic although her friend has brain cancer and requires laser treatment, but she can’t afford the procedure. So she needs money and a lot of it.

Urwin. You know we can’t afford to give to her or anyone charity.

Suzy. Why doesn’t Mickey give her a transplant?

Sissey. Because Suzy is too stupid.

Marilyn. I remember a girl from my junior high school who had brain damage, actually cancer and was to undergo brain surgery. Well they severed the top part of her head and performed what was now known as an innovative and unprecedented intervention. She was cured.

Sissey. Mommy I want to be a nurse when I’m older.

Urwin. If you study steady you can become a buddy’s ready.

Marilyn. Your father is honest and accommodating when he says that. But don’t let that fool you. He doesn’t give a fuck either way.

Suzy. Why do both you and Dad want us to be professional and responsible? After all you two are the silliest and most inappropriate kids I can imagine.

Marilyn. Surely we’ve made mistakes like all parents do. And believe me when it’s your turn to be a parent you’ll do the same. You can’t stay fourteen years old your entire life.

Urwin. Your grandfather worked labor. He was a long shoreman and worked carrying heavy loads of goods. In these days these jobs were menial and many working people were poor. He wasn’t educated but worked hard to better the lives of his posterity. There is nothing more humiliating than hard work and let me say that a little humility is good for one to experience.

Marilyn. You three have it good. There’s always food on the table. You’re gaining a good and necessary education. Your father works hard to raise you and provide you with the things we didn’t have. He had to work hard at a young age to enable his family to get by and it was a hard life for them. But things got better. When you’re older you’ll appreciate what you have.

Suzy. Boo! Boo! That was simple. That was lousy. That was ridiculous. I don’t care.

Mickey. I don’t want to go to school next year I want to be a pornstar.

Urwin. We discussed that already. You’re going to college. Do you comprende on that, young man.

Mickey. The hell with it. I’ll join the circus.

Urwin. And do what?

Mickey. I’ll be a contortionist or backbender or clown or lion tamer. They can’t teach that in high school.

Sissey. Why don’t you be a trapeze performer or jump forty feet into a glass of water. That’s always a good sell.

Marilyn. Mickey we want you to acquire a degree and then ruminate about what career you want to assume.

Mickey. What did you want to do Mom?

Marilyn. I wanted to first raise a family and then launch my own career.

Mickey. What did you want to do professionally?

Marilyn. Well, I wanted to be a nurse and in some years when your younger sister is out of the house that’s what I’ll do.

(Mickey glancing up at Urwin)

Mickey. What do you think of this situation?

Urwin. I worked hard and started as a youth. Kids, I’ve been employed more than thirty years, have had numerous living situations and now pile bricks in metal pallets along with cinder blocks, heavy castings and metal effects.

Suzy. But you look old, Daddy.

Urwin. Marilyn we should have used contraception. Your kids are impossible. Marilyn, how are you uncle Jim and Fanny these days?

Marilyn. They’re both dead.

(Urwin, bewildered)

Urwin. How’s Mary’s kids doing?

Marilyn. Kevin has HIV and Elisa just died of cancer.

Urwin. How are your cousins doing?

Marilyn. Omar died in a motorcycle accident and Wendy died in a car accident.

Urwin. Does anyone on the planet alive yet?

Sissey. How much money do we get when Daddy dies?

Marilyn. Your father is fine and you’re too young to worry about money.

Mickey. I’m worried about money and my future and I’m too much antiwar to enter into the military. Dad, you were in the Marines, what kind of a life is it besides discipline?

Urwin. You got to travel. These days you see a lot of Europe and the Orient although now you say Asia when referring to Cambodia or Thailand or Hong Kong for example.

Mickey. I’d rather have an ordinary life. Be a carny or work maintenance or sell shoes. There’s a lot out there to decide upon.

Urwin. I wanted to work menial labor. So I got a job tossing garbage and detailing cars. I’m fifty and in good condition for an ‘old guy.’ And the ‘old guy’ can teach you kiddies a lesson.

Suzy. Daddy, you’re too dumb to tell us anything.

Sissey. You’re dumb too Suzy.

Urwin. I’ll tell you youth these days are so headstrong, no wonder why things fell into desuetude and chaos.

Mickey. Pass the biscuits. Let me ask you again Suzy. How was music class going?

Suzy. They always choose me when we’re too teams competing against one another as we define what instruments are playing to songs. And let me say that my piano classes are going well again.

Marilyn. We always thought you were talented.

Sissey. They want me to play it in class so I’m practicing a Stephen Foster song, Camp Town Racetrack.

Suzy. I think Sissey is too dumb to play the piano.

Sissey. What are you doing besides looking like crap?

Urwin. What would a family be if there’s no rivalry?

Mickey. Suzy and I wrote and practiced a script for a segment in comedy.

Sissey. I want to hear it, you guys.

Marilyn. Let’s hear it, kiddies.

Chatroom

Cast

Betty,

Bryant

(Characters are seated on a bus stop bench. They just had an argument: The man and woman. And he doesn’t believe she’s a virgin so he wants to ask her questions. He asks her:)

Bryant. Are you a virgin?

(She just says no)

(Betty is a fifty-two-year-old. Bryant is a twenty-two-year-old)

Bryant. I’m going to see my girlfriend and I’m riding on the number four. She is ready to leave the relationship. I’ve known her for two years now. I met her on the same bus line.

(Betty is stranded on the corner of Sunset and La Cienega along with Bryant)

Bryant. Hello my name is Bryant. How are you?

Betty. I’m good. It’s good to talk to someone I don’t know although I have seen you before at this bus stop.

Bryant. Where are you going? I’m going to Fairfax and Santa Monica.

Betty. I’m going to Sunset and La Brea.

Bryant. How long have you been waiting here at the bus stop?

Betty. I’ve been taking this same bus for a long time but I’ve never seen you before.

Bryant. I’m off of work now. What are you doing?

Betty. I’m also going to see a friend that I met on the number two bus.

Bryant. The reason why I’m leaving the relationship is because she has been fornicating on me but when I met her she said she was a virgin. She says that because she is depressed she wants more of a relationship than just having sex and she says she doesn’t want to be committed to that kind of a relationship. She’s nineteen-years-old and goes to school at a city college on Vermont Ave. She is making her way into society and she doesn’t want our relationship to fail her debut as a debutante.

Betty. I have free passes to a Laker’s game that I got from my friend although I like spending my leisure time in my apartment. I’m going to see him as he called me to come over and have some chocolate chip cookies and milk to wash it down. Most of the time when I indulge in food it is with peanut butter sandwiches and milk as I am no newcomer to milk and peanut butter. I was married for many years and I used to bake a chicken every Saturday morning. He liked thighs and legs and my favorite part was the skin. For months I didn’t want anything to do but make food and see what foods he appreciated. I liked putting butter on toast, noodles and potatoes.

Bryant. You probably like food. I knew it’s my favorite pastime. What was your favorite movie of all?

Betty. My favorite movie was Harry Met Sally.

Bryant. I am writing a play that is called Dinner at Five. It’s about a family of five that liked to rib one another, poke fun and that are always at odds with something.

Betty. I thought the movie was funny when Sally tried to describe an orgasm to Harry and that took the entire show to Oscar level cinematology and I only wish I could lead an Oscar level life instead of the meals that I prepared for my husband.

Bryant. There could only be one winner in your relationship. Which one was the winner and which one was the loser?

Betty. When Harry Met Sally Harry was the loser although I’d like to be a singer in a good band, cut records and have a one hit wonder. But what would the song say, what’s the title and how long is it? We could make millions and retire early. I want to relocate to Florida someday. My Dad wanted me to go to college but like sooner or later I felt older and just wanted to live and prosper, achieve awareness and enjoy what little I have.

(Betty rambles on)

Betty. When I was a youth even though I was a girl I liked sports. My favorite baseball team was the Yankees and I never missed a game on television or the radio. My favorite player was Roy White and he was good defensively as well. I’ve never talked to him but if I did I’d probably prefer a night out and day in. The only celebrity I encountered was a model at a fashion show. She was six feet tall with the prettiest face I ever saw. About a month later although it did me a little relief in light of treatment. I’d be better off praying to Saint Jude and frequenting a church in town. All they want is a lot of money as if you could buy the kingdom of Heaven.

Bryant. What do you think of politics?

Betty. They’re all right in moderation. I do appreciate government, bureaucracy, and the Supreme Court. I’m glad there is an EPA. I believe in affirmative action, dislike the double standard and maintain that the implementation of civil rights will occur within our lifetimes in terms of absolute equality and mutual respect.

Bryant. How many times were you married?

Betty. Yes. Two. They both died in motorcycle accidents. I have four kids, two girls, two boys. And Raymond is finishing up college and looking forward to making good money being an investor and a stock market trader. I have tried to pattern my life in respect to a Dickens novel, David Copperfield especially. I’d wake up early Sunday mornings and focus on my dream, write it down and be poetic. One dream in particular was comprised of a diminutive edifice of red brick. I was riding along in a miniature horse and carriage the size of a jewelry box. I opened a gate that was about seven times larger. There I was on this meager carriage surrounding a building, a diverse cubical in physiognomy. Anyway, the small habitation was propinquitous with a basketball court. There were a few players who had some