Forever My Love

By Belle Chisholm

After returning from deployment, Val and Daniels relationship comes to a sudden end.

By a strange coincidence, after twenty years, their lives cross paths again. They realize their love was still as strong as it was in the past. Their love develops into a strong relationship that set them both on a path that changes both their lives forever.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Jul 31, 2018
• ISBN: 9781546245728

Belle Chisholm

SSG Valeria Acoma is a U.S. Army Reserve soldier on tour at the Presidio of San Francisco in Support of Operation Desert Shield and Desert Storm. She is no stranger to being on tours with the Regular Army. SSG Acoma is asked by SGM Daniel Howard to attend a mandatory annual event held by the City of San Francisco for active duty military and veterans in the San Francisco Bay area. This event sparked a very steamy romance that eventually became a very beautiful love affair. Their love affair was one that could have threatened both their military careers and others who had knowledge of it; if it not had been for their deployment to the Persian Gulf.

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© 2018 Belle Chisholm. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 06/11/2018

ISBN: 978-1-5462-4573-5 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5462-4571-1 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-5462-4572-8 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2018906673

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models,

and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Contents

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 1

T here was, a chill in the air, that November day, as I walked through Arlington National Cemetery. I noticed how huge it had gotten. My thoughts went back to 1973, when I was among several very young soldiers, assigned to the Military District of Washington, placing American flags at each of the head stones for the Veteran’s Day celebration.

I followed the map the Visitor Center gave me to find his grave stone. It was really hard for me to imagine, that he was gone. Daniel, was a hell of a soldier and Command Sergeant Major. Tears formed in my eyes at the realization I would never see him ever again. I just couldn’t believe it; here I was walking through Arlington Cemetery.

Cemeteries, places I never wanted to set foot in. I was never one to visit grave sites of loved ones. When my mother and my grandmother died, who raised us four sisters, I couldn’t go to see their grave site. I never could understand why I didn’t want to do that.

Now, here I was searching for the grave sites of the man I fell deeply in love with, over twenty years ago. I still wear the symbol of our eternal love. I wondered, did he get buried with that ruby ring we bought in Khobar, Saudi Arabia. I felt a lump in my throat that needed to come up and burst out in an uncontrollable cry. But I swallowed that lump, and continued my search.

I noticed a tall distinguished looking gentleman walking along the same track in the distance, stopping at almost every, grave site as he passed them. I thought to myself, he looks familiar. I continue my desperate search for the one grave site I wanted to find.

Then by some strange coincident I came across the grave site I was looking for. It’s had fresh cut flowers on it, and I looked at the name, and read what was engraved on the headstone.

"Sergeant Major Daniel Jarrell Howard II,

Born July 7, 1971 died November 13, 2008

Killed in action by an IED"

I heard a somewhat familiar deep voice come up behind me, stood and said, That’s not me, its DJ my son. I turned and looked up at him and fell apart. I said, ‘O-my-God, it is you. I threw my arms up around his neck and he hugged me so tight. I said, Oh this isn’t real." I said to myself oh, thank you Lord.

He took his right hand and took mine and touched my ring and I saw his. He then said, My Forbidden Love. He wiped the tears on my face with his hand and said, Hey babe. I said, I did not want to believe it was true. I just had to find out for myself. Daniel said, I’m glad you did, and gave me that familiar wink and sexy smile.

I asked, How you know, that was me standing over here? Babe, I know that ass anywhere. You’re a dirty old man. Old! I’m not old, distinguished maybe. That you are, Command Sergeant Major (CSM), as I laid the bouquet of flower on DJ’s grave and placed a kiss on his head stone with my hand.

Do you mind if we walked? I don’t like standing here too long, it brings back too many sad memories. I hope they weren’t bad ones. No, just sad, I’m still trying to let him go but, it’s hard Val, very hard, especially as a parent.

He looked damn good standing tall, with his salt and pepper hair and mustache. He was still very tall with that walk of authority; I so much loved to watch. I said, You haven’t changed much. Except for a little snow around the temples. Which gives you that distinguished look, I love it. He smiled and winked.

He asked, Where you parked? I don’t know, somewhere over in the parking lot. Trying to change the subject, I asked, So what are you doing here besides visiting DJ’s grave site?

Well, you know I’m now a retired CSM, and I work as a contractor for, a well-known government contractor out of El Paso. I’m an advisor to the military on my favorite subject, Ordnance. You still like blowing up things? Not anymore, I deal mostly with foreign explosives you may have heard it called Junk bombs or pipe bombs and IEDs. I just like to talk and train people, on the how and right way to dispose of them. My hero, I said.

He continued, I live in Texas, but I spend eighty percent of my time in Saudi, Kuwait, Iraq and Afghanistan. You know we are still pulling ordnance out of the Arabian deserts that we stored in containers that we buried after the Gulf war.

I can imagine, I hauled and convoyed thousands of tonnage of that stuff, from those Ammo Supply Points (ASPs) out there. You know when they started Desert Farewell", the Saudis gave us a timeline to get out of their country; but what they really wanted is for us to leave that ordnance for them. You know DOD was not going to do that.

Just before I left we were given a directive from the Department of Defense; what we can’t bring out of the desert, on convoys, bury it or blow it up. Rock told me they buried a lot of that low level ordnance because they did not have an explosive expert towards the end. I imagine that was some of it.

I ran twenty-six convoys out of KKMC with about 100 vehicles on each convoy and about 150 thousand tons by the time I left Saudi; until they sent me home for helping one of my drivers escape to Pakistan, because of a Saudi national fatality on one of the convoys; and the promise to a certain CSM."

He said, Boy, you had a lot of fun after I left. What did you do after you left the desert? I got selected for recruiting duty, for the Army Reserve. I spent a total of nine years as an Army Recruiter, in Chicago and in Los Angeles. Speaking of Los Angeles, not trying to change the subject, you still married? I said, Yes, but we aren’t together, that’s another story to be told. We stood and talked for a moment once we located my car.

He said, I don’t know if that’s good or bad. I’m staying at the Watergate. It’s not far from the Georgetown area. I know where it is. I used to live in this town at one time. That’s right, I have a contractor’s meeting tomorrow; if you’re still in town, I like to take you to dinner.

I said, I’ll be here for a while. I’m working on some things; that sounds nice. Let me give you my cell number and we can go from there. He said, Sounds great. I’ll give you a call and the particulars Ok. I smiled and said, Ok.

He hugged me real tight and said, You know I’m still, very much in love with you. I said, I am too. He opened my rental car door and said, This time, you can look back. I said, I will, you know you’re still, a very handsome and, distinguished man.

He raised his eyebrows, smiled and whispered, You’re still that beautiful woman I fell in love with twenty years ago. He looked down at my ring, smiled, and said I know, I can tell and patted my hand and said, Drive carefully, I Love you. You do the same, I love you too. I drove off and looked through my rearview mirror. I said, Damn, he’s alive. He blew me a kiss. Thank you, Lord."

I drove back to my hotel feeling so excited. I wanted to shout to the whole world, He’s Alive. I did not know what to do with myself. My phone rang, I said hello. It was Daniel. He said, Val, I couldn’t wait until tomorrow to see you. I really need and want to see you now. Would you have dinner with me tonight? I said, Sure. It’s nothing formal? He said, No, not this time. Great, because I’m not prepared. He laughed and asked, Where would you like to eat? I said, I don’t know, you tell me."

He then said, How would you like to eat here, at my hotel? I replied Sounds great. He said, I’ll order Steak and lobster for me and shrimp croquette for you. I’ll try to find some Mateus. Some Zinfandel will do just fine. We’ll start a new tradition for us."

He said, That sounds great, a new beginning for the both of us. So, where are you staying? I said, The Ramada, in Crystal City. Is that far? I said, It is, if you trying to drive in this DC, Virginia traffic. To make it easy, I’ll catch the train into Foggy Bottom you can meet me there. He said, Umm Foggy Bottom that brings back memories.

Believe it or not, it does get foggy there some times. He said, I can just imagine. I’ll see you about eight. I said, I have your number, has it changed? He said, No, I kept that number hoping, one day, you’ll call. I said, I did, several times, but hung up. I’ll call you when I get close. Until then, Love you. We hung up.

I called Daniel as the train pulled into Foggy Bottom. He said, I’m walking in your direction now. If you come up the escalators, I’ll be standing at the gate. I looked to my left and there he was; looking as good as he ever want to be. I said, Hey handsome. He said, Hey beautiful, you made good timing. I didn’t know I was so close to the subway. I said, That’s the only way to get around this city, with all its political obstacles.

He caught my hand and said, I dropped bread crumbs so I could find my way back. I laughed and said, Smart move. We were only five minutes from the Watergate.

When we got to his hotel, he said, I have a suite we could eat in the dining room or in the suite, whichever you prefer. I said, I’ll follow your lead. He smiled and said, I was hoping you would say my suite.

He said, Over twenty years ago, you entertained me for three beautiful weeks in your Penthouse apartment. Let me do the honors this time. I said, The suite it is.

When we got to his suite it was a beautiful room with a fireplace and a view overlooking the Potomac River. He said, It’s not the Towers, but it has, some of the amenities. I said, Yes it does. He took my coat. He said, Mink, umm you must be doing very well. I said, Somewhat on a retired Master Sergeant’s and federal government retirement pension, I manage pretty well.

He held up the Zin. I said, That’s fine. He poured us a glass and handed me mine and said, Toast to Lost love and dear friends and I said, To old friends and new beginnings" he winked and we tapped glasses.

There was a knock on the door, Daniel said, Food’s here. The waiter brought the food in and Daniel said, We’ll eat by the window, if you don’t mind. I said, No, not at all.

Daniel, still the perfect gentleman, held my seat as I sat at the table; he lit the candles on the table and sat across from me. I said, This reminds me of the Gaslight Restaurant, in Morro’s bay. He said, That’s why I was hoping you would want to eat here, instead of the dining room."

He then took a deep breath and said, "Val, I think about us all the time, more so now than ever. I wish, I could really make you understand how much, I was in love with you. What make it so bad, I still am!

My wife Janelle, decided she had enough of pretending we loved each other and filed for a divorce. I did not try to talk her out of it. She got what she wanted. I got what I needed.

We’ve been divorced for ten years now. I said, And you never remarried? He replied, No, but almost. She was not who I really wanted so, I called it off before I made another bad mistake. So, I never remarried. I’ve had several somewhat long term relationships, but none that last."

I said, You could say the same thing about our relationship. It was even shorter than any of your long term relationships. He said, "Yes, but it had substance, stability, romance and not just sex. It was a beautiful time in our lives. It sustained us through a war, in which we both was a part of, and somehow brought us back together.

It was something I could never see in any past relationships, and because of you, I could never find that. I said, I’m sorry."

He said, Val, there’s no need to be sorry; you’re the love of my life. I can actually say that, and know it’s the truth. I said, You say that, when we’ve been out of touch for so long. He replied, Maybe physically, but not mentally.

Something brought us together today, for us to cross paths again, and here we are. What happens after this is really up to us. I know what I want, and who I want to spend the rest of my life with.

I must admit, it has been a long time, but has your feelings changed. I know mine haven’t. When we met twenty years ago, we both were forty years old. We were no spring chickens then, but we were in love.

Usually at that age people are talking and thinking about retirement. We were talking about spending our time together before it came to an end, by some maniac miles across the globe. We were doing, what people do, when they are in love with each other.

We maximized every moment we could. Even though our responsibilities kept us in check with reality, we knew that it was coming to an end one day soon. It did the day I redeployed back to the states from Saudi and we started drifting away in our communication. When I stopped hearing from you, I knew I had lost you forever.

So after I retired, I decided to become a contractor and continued to do the things I like the most, talking about ordnance and blowing them up. I make good money, and I’m set for the rest of my life. I don’t want to really get married, again. I said, Me either, I’m not really good at being a house wife or any type of wife for that matter.

I’ve been separated from my husband for going on ten years and it was something that just happened. I retired from the Army and the federal government two years ago. I lived in the northern suburbs of Chicago for about three years. I couldn’t take the harsh winters because of the injury I sustained in Iraq, so, my god-daughter convinced me to move to Austin. TX; where she lived with her four kids.

So I packed up my house and put it in storages and drove five days with me and my two dogs. Now I have my own place in Austin and I spend my days writing my memoirs of being in the Army.

I just finished my first novel My Forbidden Love – A Soldier’s Love Story. You remember, after that note you left me. Yeah, I remember, and you wrote a novel! You said you were going to write. I said, And it’s a beautiful, love story. I’m working on two other novels. One is Book 2 to Forbidden Love. The other is my Legacy, the story of my life. That’s why I’m here. I came up to the Library of Congress to copyright my first novel."

I’m so, proud of you. You went and did it. I would love to read our relationship on paper. What make you think it’s about us? Because our love was a forbidden love and, it was a beautiful, love story. It was one that needed to be told, by the ones that were in love.

So, you see, why I wrote it. Yes, not only that, I know why you wrote it. Why? You wanted others to know, and feel what real love is, and the obstacles that goes along with that love. I don’t really need to read it, I lived it. It was all so beautiful to me and now, I’ve found you again.

"I let some people read it, to get some feedback, and they fell in love with it.

I have an appointment tomorrow to see what I need to do. I also have an offer for it to be put in print (Hard cover) If it sells well, it’ll be in paperback.

That’s all I really want to do now is to write stories, told by soldiers about their love and life in the Army. I know there are a lot of love stories like ours; that took place and some having happy endings and some with not so happy endings.

You know in the military there are a lot of stories like ours and some can be told and some cannot. All I know is our story kept me going through some hard times in Iraq.

I let my daughter and nieces read the story they had no idea what my life was like because I left Virginia. After that, to them, I was a mystery to my whole family.

My god-daughter, Samantha came up with the idea to search Face book to see if I could find you. She said you are such a beautiful person you should try to find him. She went on Face book and found over 150 Daniel Howards. We couldn’t find one to fit your profile.

She said it’s been over twenty years, he might not be alive. My heart sank, when she said that. I told her whatever it is, I need to know. I got to find out, even if it’s just to bring closure to a twenty year old love affair.

I went on the Arlington National Cemetery website and I found a Daniel J. Howard, SGM, US Army. I told myself since I was going home to Virginia for Thanksgiving; I would fly into DC and go by Arlington Cemetery and see for myself. So I decided to go by there for Veteran’s Day in remembrance of our first time together."

Chapter 2

D aniel said, That’s interesting; like some more wine. Please, he poured the wine and continue to speak, "It’s interesting how that particular holiday has given us some beautiful memories and some painfully, sad ones also.

You see two years ago, I was in Iraq, on a contracting job for my company. It was there that I got word, DJ and his driver were hit by an IED while leaving the Red Zone. His eyes began to well up and I heard his voice crack and tremble as he spoke of the incident.

I’ve never seen this side of Daniel even when we were in Saudi and he spoke of his soldiers getting blown up by friendly fire. It hurt me, to see him like this. He had always been so strong in front of me.

"I told that boy! He was a SGM now. He had soldiers to do that kind of recon. He was so damn hard headed, just like somebody else I know. Well, to be truthful he was coming back from checking on one of his soldiers, who got injured in an accident in the yellow zone side of the red zone.

I had a team working on clearing a field up near Fallujah. It happened in a place called Anaconda. I got the word and I drove six hours straight. I didn’t wait to find out the extent of his injuries. When I got to Anaconda he had been sent to Camp Arifjan in Kuwait. My company had a helicopter there waiting to fly me to Kuwait. He was being flown out on the next medivac to Germany. I got there just moments before the flight.

I got to talk with him just before he got on that flight. He was in bad shape, Val, very bad shape. He said Pop, I tried, I tried to be the type of SGM you are. I looked after my soldiers, and look at me now. Don’t be mad. I told him, I told him I’m not mad at you son, as a matter of fact I’m very proud of you. I would have done the same. He said, I know you would have Pop, that’s why I went. I told him save your strength. That was the last time I saw my son alive.

I had talked to his attending physician and he said, SGM Howard was lucky to last the time he did. He seems to be waiting. I imagine it was for you CSM. Your son had a lot of will power. He must have gotten it from you. I said, I’m sure he did.

You know, Val, he could have been an officer when he finished college, but he wanted to be like his Pop, a Command Sergeant Major. I can see why. Val, this is the first time I ever been able to talk about his death. Maybe it’s a closure for you after all. My ex-wife Janelle, she blames me for his death. How’s that? You weren’t even there. "She really blamed me because DJ wanted to be like me, and not an officer.

I told her, Janelle officers die too, it’s a damn war. I made all the arrangements myself and she came to the funeral, and she received, his coffin draped flag. She’s so selfish she didn’t want his wife and son to receive it. I had another one presented to them by his Commanding General. That was nice of you. After all, she was his wife, and little DJ’s our grandson. Janelle and I haven’t spoken in over two years."

Honey, I am so sorry, to find out about your son DJ. I can only imagine what kind of a soldier, and SGM he was. I can see this has been very hard on you. I now understand why there’s a sadness and somewhat happiness about Veteran’s Day for you.

DJ, died on Veteran’s Day. That’s why I was at Arlington. I had just laid some flower on it before you arrived. I have some other buddies that died in Operation Iraqi Freedom (OIF) also, that’s’ what I was doing when you noticed me looking at the grave sites. It’s been a hell of a war this time. We were lucky, Val, very lucky my dear in Desert Storm. "So true.

It’s almost 2:00 a.m. I need to get back to my hotel. Why don’t you stay? Unless you have someone waiting! No, there’s no one. You see I’ve been celibate for almost ten years."

Daniel said, No not you. You have got to be lying. That is the truth. I have not had a man or anyone for that matter since my husband left me. Babe that’s a long time. "Believe me, I know, it’s not like it was something I had planned. The opportunities were there I just didn’t take advantage of them.

You see, I guess in a way I am just like you. I’ve been married two times and was hurt very badly by both. I found that one, someone, a long time ago. I know I could never be loved or romanced that way again. So I began to compare every relationship, to the one we had. I even compared my marriage to it. You know after a while, just good sex, just don’t get it. He smiled and said, Yeah you’re right about that."

"So my husband and I slowly drifted apart. You know, we had our own world, when we were together. It got worse as time went on. I continue to do my military stuff and he got into his thing. A couple of times I had to get him out of his mess.

That eventually ran its course after a while. If we were still together we would have been married over twenty-five years. After a while, I considered us as partners not husband and wife. We still communicate with the same type of conversation.

Right now, all I want to do is just write, I really enjoy that. I don’t think I will ever marry again. Ok, but you didn’t answer my question. If you stay, I promise, I won’t force you into something you are not ready for. I just want to hold you. Since we walked in this room, I’ve wanted to just hold you for a good minute. I missed, holding you as we stood and watched the fog come in."

I missed those times also. It was those moments that instilled your love in my heart for over twenty years. Please stay. I won’t make love to you unless you want me too. I have time, I waited this long. When the time comes I will treat you like a virgin, (and he smiled). It will be very special for both of us. I thought to myself Damn man, I Love You. Whether you know it or not, this is a new beginning for the both of us. I would, but I have to check out of my hotel room in the morning. Good, I’m going to be here a couple of days until the end of the week. Come stay with me as my guest. You can show me your old stomping grounds.

That sounds like a plan. It’s not as if I have a reason to rush back to Austin except for my dogs. You have dogs too. I sure do and, they are loyal.

So what’s your decision? You’re staying the night? Yes, just remember you are not with the woman you were with twenty years ago. You either. Do you have a shirt or PJ top I can use? I think I can accommodate you on your request."

He handed me a PJ top. I held up the top and said, Imagine this. I would have never thought you wore Pajamas. You never wore anything but a towel. After twenty years you would be surprise. I smiled and said, Maybe not."

What about you? You still sleep in the nude. Not in a house with two teenage girls. That’s another story. They’re like my third dog just moved in on me one day.

I put the PJ top on. "Come here babe let me hold you. That scene in Arlington was just a tease. Now I can really feel my