Attracting and Maintaining Good Friendships

By Brook Hayes

During the beginning of the millennium, I wrote a dozen papers on civility and mailed fifty two-page letters to presidents and corporate CEOs. I recommended the initiation of Friendship Day every August 2 each year. President Bushs speechwriter used a mailed thirty-page treatise in the first part of his inauguration speech, with three references to civility. Unfortunately, the events of 9/11 reduced any impact the use of civility could have later. Various wars, terror, and disasters proved that greater issues of morality were to be dealt with for the next seventeen years.
Friendships are the universal cures.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Balboa Press
• Release date: Jun 23, 2018
• ISBN: 9781982206581

Brook Hayes

For 25 years I moved 40 times while helping 70 companies improve profits until 2001. At half of my consulting, I was up 3 hours at night figuring out how to deal with resistance to new ideas, I learned to deal with adverse people and reactions of many to change. By1991, my experiences resulted in self-publishing a book, Profitable Cost Management. I distributed 60 copies plus 11 copies to writers' agents, in the next 15 years. It was part of the new science and technology of saving money.

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Copyright © 2018 Brook Hayes.

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Scripture taken from the King James Version of the Bible.

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ISBN: 978-1-9822-0657-4 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-9822-0658-1 (e)

Balboa Press rev. date: 06/22/2018

ATTRACTING AND MAINTAINING GOOD FRIENDSHIPS

By Brook Hayes, Better Methods Communications, Friendship Day August 2, 2018 and forever (?).

Label No One A Stranger

Sept. 28 * Twenty-sixth Sunday in Ordinary

We all too easily pit ourselves against others…we versus they, ours versus theirs, labeling others as strangers, not one of us. How can airmen drop bombs on innocents below? Easy! Because they are strangers, people without faces. How can some be so rude to other drivers? Because they are strangers. Can you imagine acting that way if you knew the other driver was a friend or a client-or your mother?

This shows up even in the tiniest of things. When more than a thousand of our own parishioners have passed through the doors, hardly a cigarette butt is to be found anywhere. But have a handful of visitors for a short wedding, and you’ll find butts everywhere, even ground in the floor inside the church. To some visitors, we are strangers, so anything goes…

In this Gospel, Jesus…taught that for us there can be no strangers, only brothers and sisters. There can be no them, only an all-inclusive us. The circle of our love has to grow so wide that no one is left out. This is our life’s task…to achieve with God’s help."

…Dennis R. Clark

Sunday Morning Reflections On The Word from Living Faith,

Volume 13 * Number 2, July-August-September 1997, Edited by James E Adams, published by Creative Communications for the Parish.

CONTENTS

Preface: A Universal Benefit for all entities

Acknowledgements and Sources

Introduction: The Four C’s: Civility, Compassion, Consideration, and Cordiality

Chapter 1     Events, Timing, and Lucky Breaks

Chapter 2     Initial Chemistry, Attraction, and Comfort

Chapter 3     Compassion for seconds to a lifetime

Chapter 4     Cordial and Congenial; Those Who Make It Fun

Chapter 5     Consideration in Money, Resources, and Thought

Chapter 6     Mutual Interests

Chapter 7     Travel Friendly

Chapter 8     Civility, The Prime Law

Chapter 9     Some Benefits of Being Civil – almost beyond belief

Chapter 10   Some Cliches and Why They Don’t Work

Chapter 11   Which Actions and Communications Contribute to Good Friendships

Chapter 12   Gratitude & Appreciation: A few more things worth remembering

Chapter 13   You sssHave 10,000 Points Left in the Relationship

Chapter 14   Friendships-Human, Animal, Bird, Insect, Trees, Plants, and the Environment

Chapter 15   Friendships-With God and your Soul

Chapter 16   Guardian Angels, Spirits, Ghosts, and Aliens

Chapter 17   Things to Do For Free With Friends

Chapter 18   Drive Friendly

Chapter 19   Commemorations of Past Friendships

Chapter 20   An End of an Era, A Beginning Vision

Appendix: Item # 1: PERSONALITY Topics inhibiting friendships

Item # 2: How to Reduce Hostility

PREFACE

A Universal Benefit for all entities

From The Bible: Mark X; 17-21….

And when he was sent out on the way, there came one running, and kneeled to him, and asked him, Good Master, what that I doe, that I may possesse eternall life?

Jesus said to him, Why callest thou me good: there is none good but one, even God.

Thou knowest the commandements, "Thou thalt not commit adulterie, Thou shalt not kill, Thou shalt not steale, Tou shalt not beare false witnesse, Thou shalt hurt no man, Honour thy father and mother.

Then he answered, and saide to him, Master, all these things I have observed from my youth.

Ane Jesus behelde him, and touched him, and saide unto him, One thing is lacking unto thee. Go and sell all that thou hast and give to the poore, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven, and come, followe me, and take up the crosse.

….The Newe Testament of our Lord Jesus Christ, Conferred diligently with the Greeke, and best approved translations in divers languages, Imprinted at London by Christopher Barker, Printer to the Queenes Majestie. 1583, Com gratis & privilegjo.

(What is now known as the Geneva Bible, beginning in 1560 and continuing until 1611 in the new King James Bible, printed by Christopher Barker)

At the beginning of each life, chances to be brought up well depend on our parents. They have full control of your life within your first decade of living. If they treat you as a friend, you may be blessed with a healthy, safe, and pleasurable future when leaving their abode. If you have few or many natural abilities and knowledge, how you are treated will detract or enhance many of them. Depending on how you live, you may do well in your home, work, associations, leisure, and learning the rest of your life. The people you meet have a major affect on how well or poorly you do. The hopes are that most relationships are good and possibly qualify as Good Friends.

I had such a fortunate life. Despite many childhood diseases, two broken legs, and a few months in hospitals, my life operated like a well-supplied Montessori School. My parents provided encouragement, resources, and money to supply me with things that stimulated my interests. In my case, they varied from collecting coins and stamps, bowling, baseball, tennis lessons, a few jobs like selling Sunday Papers, Boy Scouting, Church attendance, Radio Amateur K6ZKG, Cars, and learning to surf with The North Coast Surfing Association. Up to my age of 25 years I attracted hundreds of friends, and lived in California and Hawaii. I spent 7 years in college majoring in business and engineering.

Riding 20-40 foot waves, and winning a semi-final contest at Makaha Beach were some memorable events. They were based on friendships and help of the local and best surfers to be found from 1963 to 1964. I lived with a surfing photographer and architect (who became famous in Del Mar, California) for a year.

Later, I had three jobs that taught me what variety and quality life at work could be experienced. My first seven years of work at The Olga Company were the best anyone could ask for. I made dozens of friends during my multi-faceted work experience. The owners, Jon and Olga Erteszek made work inspiring, profitable, and enjoyable beyond what most typical companies offered (as I was to find out later).

The next ten years were spent (from 8PM to 2AM 4 nights/week) at a private school run by Andrew J. Galambos called The Free Enterprise Institute. At least a hundred friendships and relationships were developed during my 8 years of courses. By 1976 he convinced me to become an independent management consultant.

For 25 years I moved 40 times while helping 70 companies improve profits until 2001. At half of my consulting, I was up 3 hours at night figuring out how to deal with resistance to new ideas, I learned to deal with adverse people and reactions of many to change.

By 1991, my experiences resulted in self-publishing a book, Profitable Cost Management. I distributed about 60 copies plus 11 copies to writers’ agents, in the next 15 years. It was part of the new science and technology of saving money.

During the beginning of the millennium, I wrote a dozen papers on civility and and mailed 50 two-page letters to presidents and corporate CEO’s. I recommended the initiation of Friendship Day, every August 2 each year. President Bush’s speechwriter used a mailed thirty-page treatise in the first part of his inauguration speech – with 3 references to civility. Unfortunately, the events of 9/11 reduced any impact the use of civility could have later. Various wars, terror, and disasters proved that greater issues of morality were to be dealt with for the next 17 years.

What and Who are worth more than millions of dollars to you?

World events make it obvious to me why this book is needed. I really would not waste my time or energies if issues of civility and friendships were known and widespread. It seems that many people see the issues in terms of their personal views, right or wrong, on nearly everything. Some believe we can vote evil away, or convert the evil doers to their favorite religion. Fortunes are spent on media and educational companies, and organizations, many of which have few classes on liberty, freedom, justice, restitution, morality, civility, or hospital avoidance (Holistic) health. I see significant resistance by many groups for the true betterment of societies.

Based on life throughout the world in this 21st century, we are challenged to provide better, safer, and more consistently comfortable lives for each and every person in the world. I can empathize with what Jesus Christ was quoted to say, Whatever happens to the least of you, happens to me.

This book is written and designed to explain how creating new and good friendships can foster much happier individuals and societies. These ideas are both relative, and have a dozen absolute standards of communications and actions. Civility as noted in Chapter 8 in this book could be a good start to use as universal standards of behavior and actions. This may seem be a difficult task. I have pursued 50 years of reading, evaluations, and experiences to come up with these ideas. I am convinced they could be a major start in a positive direction of conversations and peaceful results. We can be open to new friendships most of our lives. Let’s make them good in most cases.

Friendships found in a broader role, experience, and sense

Aspects of living that could enhance your life:

The key areas are avoiding accidents, crime, natural disasters, and other problems by preventing them in the first place. Wouldn’t it be better to not have to seek justice and restitution saving much of your money and resources?

Will you make enough money and resources to be comfortable and safe and healthy? How many of you considered your boss, organization, bureaucrat, stockbroker, investment advisor, or other financial expert your friend?

Do you have a traditional doctor who prescribes medicines and therapies having few or no side effects to keep you healthy? What about alternative hospital avoidance therapies? Does your chiropractor, osteopath, or friend have supplements, ideas, and services keep you in good health?

Crimes can take a bite out of your assets and energies. There are a lot of institutions and homes protected by people who follow a few basic rules and ideas. You would be fortunate to have a secure home in a crime-free environment.

How are you to deal with people and groups who enforce laws, rules, and prohibitions? Are your landlords, bureaucrats, organizations, and their personnel helpful to you?

Where do your shopkeepers, stores, internet, telephone, or televised sources of stuff and services provide the optimum value. Do your revenues and resources get you the best bang for your buck? Friendships depend on price, quality, ease of buying, shipping, maintaining, returning, and especially successful using of what you bought.

Did you live, be it rent or buy, in a comfortable, safe, and generally civil environment? How well are you protected from bad air, water, chemicals, noise, and people? How well do your neighbors treat you? You may consider yourself lucky if you are pleased with the landlord, management, maintenance, and other services provided.

What is your idea of good leisure, travel, hobbies, collections, and experiences? Some events can result in instant friendships. A chance meeting anywhere could provide some pleasurable value. In other cases, some misfortune may bring a lifesaver to your rescue. In my many travels, I found helpful souls wherever and whenever I was in need. I can vouch for that from my visits to 55 countries, thousands of cities and beaches, and numerous methods of travel enjoyed.

Your choice of interest groups can keep you occupied and happy. Sometimes a once per month encounter among friends can be the most fun you have. If you have more than one source of friends, groups, or intimate encounters – it’s the Vida Buena for sure.

Some More Personal and Specific Details

Pleasant surprises come from meeting the right people. Some little known facts can be provided by someone you sit next to in a bus, car, airplane, or