Forgiveness

By Chris St. John

Mary Robinson follows the rules. Raised in the church, her goal is to serve God honorably, but like many teenagers, life places obstacles in her path and shes forced to make difficult choices. Currently, the biggest decision she must make revolves around the feelings shes developed for Bobby Gardner, a hot-headed high school football star, who makes her feel things shes never felt before and makes her want to grow up a little too fast.

Bobbys hot temper and unwillingness to quell his emotions serve him well on the playing field, but they do nothing to help other areas of his life. Even though hes fallen in love with a good girl with a good heart, he cant shake the demons that plague him. Soon, his burning rage lands him and everyone in his life, including Mary, at the center of a dangerous situation at the hands of someone they know. It will test their faith, their loyalties, and their ability to move forward.

Find out what happens when the temptations of young adult love, the lure of bad decisions, and the pull of negative forces collide to test three teenagers. Can the trio find love and forgiveness amid so much turmoil or will their choices ruin any hope for their future?

• Language: English
• Publisher: iUniverse
• Release date: May 16, 2018
• ISBN: 9781532040900

Chris St. John

Chris St. John is a minister in his home church, and lives with his wife in south Mississippi. He is finishing his English degree in Creative Writing, and a Political Science minor.

Book preview

PART ONE

Enticement

But every man is tempted, when he is drawn of his own lust, and enticed …

—James 1:14

Do not be misled: Bad company corrupts good character.

1 Corinthians 15:33 (NIV)

The most minute transformation is like a pebble dropped into a still lake–The ripples spread out endlessly

–Emmanuel

CHAPTER ONE

1

No one said hello to Mary Robinson as she walked down the hallway and through the door into her high school history class. She tucked her long denim dress under her legs as she slid into her seat. After placing her books on her desk, she began to read the paperback book from the top of the stack as she waited for class to begin. The book was her world now.

Then Bobby Gardner walked in.

She smiled at him and Bobby smiled back. Her long brown hair scrunched up against the back of her chair as she looked up at him. She felt like there was an attraction there between them, and swore to herself she saw some kind of spark in his eyes when their eyes met. She dismissed this thought, knowing it was nothing more than her girlish imagination—not reality. Popular football players do not date conservative church girls, like herself. Mary knew Bobby may have been attracted to her; God knows she was attracted to him. However, attraction was as far as it would ever go between them. There is no way the two of them would ever date. The King County High School class system would never allow a jock to date a Christian girl. The jock’s presence was required at parties after games and modest girls like her were not wanted at those parties. Mary hated to admit that she was like most girls here at school; fighting her flesh, and wanting a guy she could not have.

She’d like to think her faith could keep her young hormones at bay, but not even her strong church background could fight the feelings for the boy that walked through the door. Unfortunately, Bobby Gardner was worldly and a clichéd football player. He drank, dated numerous girls and did lots of other things that she knew were wrong. She loathed knowing she was also a cliché; the moth attracted to the flame; attracted to the thing that could destroy her. Maybe, one day, the Lord would set her up with a good guy in church—after she left this school and went to college. That was the plan anyway.

Mary looked at her book, but her ears were listening to Bobby talk to his friends. He made her laugh, so, she tended to eavesdrop a lot in class around him. It was her small way of being near him.

What’s up, dawg? Bobby said.

Just pimpin’, man, Derrick Stevens said to his friend and fellow teammate. He was shorter than Bobby by a foot. He walked more like an ape; with his is back bent and arms dangling. The desks in the class were arranged five across and seven deep. Bobby walked to his desk, which was the third seat on the fifth row; Derrick sat behind him.

Fran-kay! Bobby and Derrick shouted across the room when Frank Delaware entered. Mary smiled to herself, enjoying their Monday morning ritual.

Frank Delaware held up both his hands when they called his name. He took the seat beside Bobby, dropping his book bag onto the floor. Did y’all see the hurting the Saints put on the 49ers.

Goin’ all the way baby, Derrick said. Monday morning always started with the latest adventures of the Saints.

Mary chuckled.

The bell rang and class began. It was an interesting discussion about the Civil War; money was the true cause and not slavery. She took notes and paid attention. However, she would also flip her long hair over her shoulder and adjust in her seat as a way of sneaking a glance over her right shoulder, at Bobby.

He looked her way and smiled. She smiled back and went to writing notes.

As class ended, Mary stood up, grabbed her notebook and walked straight towards Mr. Halperin’s desk. She looked downward as she walked, and her long brown hair hid her face, so she failed to notice the movement around her.

Bobby, your books dude, she heard Frank say as she laid her pages of homework onto the desk.

Placing her homework down and stepping back from the desk, she slammed into Bobby. She felt his right-hand rush to grab her hip and his left-hand wrap around her waist to keep her from falling over. She felt safe in his arms. His breath tickled the back of her neck through her hair. She loved this feeling; his thick arms, and body. For a second, her mind focused on his touch and memorized the feel of his body next to hers.

She slowly turned around inside his grasp; Bobby had not moved away. She looked up at him, their eyes met, and she blushed. She could physically feel the hormones race through her body. She could feel her heart beating, and hear her own breathing. She didn’t want to move away from him, but she knew she had to. She had to step away or she may give into the thoughts of kissing him in front of all these people. She quickly reigned in her fleshly thoughts, snapping back to reality. She was a modest Christian girl, and Bobby was a popular secular guy.

Excuse me, Bobby said.

She smiled as she looked into his eyes. Say something! Move! It’s ok.

Mary wanted to stay here, close to him, and look into his beautiful blue eyes. She then thought of everyone else in the room, watching the church girl swoon over the popular football player. She stepped out of his grip, and walked back to her desk to get her book bag.

Bobby’s trying to make a play for Sister Mary, Derrick said.

Shut up, Bobby said.

Whatever. She was embarrassed, at both the use of her school nickname, and that Derrick would laugh at the idea of Bobby liking her. She snatched her bag from the floor and walked straight for the door.

Mary, wait, Bobby said.

She stopped at the door and twisted around. Her thick brown hair bounced over her left shoulder. She didn’t want to lose momentum as she rushed from the room. Bobby, I said I’m all right, she said backing out the door.

Mary felt someone crash into her side. She didn’t get a chance to hear Bobby’s response. One moment she was looking at him; then she was falling to the ground. Her books and phone crashed onto the floor. Her left knee was first to hit the floor, taking most of her weight. As she fell forward she slammed her hands down, stopping her face from hitting the floor.

She didn’t know who had hit her. Brushing her hair from her face, she looked up to see Bobby walking toward her, arm outstretched to help her up. You okay?

Is she okay? Mary heard the other student complain. "She hit me."

Mary turned her ahead again, her hand pushing back the curtain of her hair and saw Jeremy Black rising to his feet and putting on his large framed glasses. His blue shirt and khaki pants were disheveled. She could plainly see the anger on his face.

Stupid chic should watch where she’s walking, Jeremy said.

I’m sorry, Mary said. I wasn’t looking where I was going.

Mary struggled to gather her belongings as fast as she could. Wanting to simply vanish from this scene. As Bobby reached down to help her up, she saw something in his face she had never personally seen before coming from him. Rage. Pure and simple.

And she saw Bobby react to the situation with that anger.

Sorry— Jeremy was interrupted as Bobby’s right fist slammed into his gut, which forced his diaphragm closed. Shoving the air in his lungs out. Jeremy doubled over in pain. He turned his head to see who had brought him this suffering, when another fist crushed his bottom jaw. Jeremy’s head twisted towards the ground, his knees collapsed under him, and he was down for the count.

Mary stood up and saw Bobby turn from his victim to his buddies, who were cheering. Then she looked at Jeremy on the ground with blood dripping from his jaw. Speechless, she studied Bobby one more time until their eyes met. She turned and pushed through the crowd that had gathered.

2

Flee for your life! Jeremy’s fight or flight instinct screamed; instantly he chose. His hands shoved his chest up from the ground, his left leg hooked underneath him, his toes curled up in his shoes; then immediately every bone, muscle, and ligament in the leg extended. The right leg repeated the process milliseconds after the left. His hands clung to his mouth, trying to stop the blood and spit that streamed down his chin. Like spooked fish, the gathered crowd scattered, and Jeremy escaped unhindered.

3

Come on, Mathew, Heather Foster said. I need your help.

Mathew Robinson (Mary’s twin brother; older by two minutes) looked into Heather’s blue eyes and said, You’re my sister’s best friend, not mine. Which means I ain’t got to help you every time you come whining.

Come on, I don’t got much help in the activities club, and Homecoming is coming up.

I said no, ok? I have never cared about after school junk, so why should I start—you ok, Heather?

She heard the question, but words were something she couldn’t produce at the moment. She saw the guy she knew to be a monster; an evil young man, named Roger Picks. With narrow eyes, this menacing creature would prowl the halls of this high school for naïve girls to devour. He wore a tight white T-shirt that made his arms appear to float as he walked.

I hate you, Heather thought.

Man, I hate that dude, Mathew said.

Heather was shocked to hear her thoughts spoken out loud. Her peripheral vision noticed ripples amongst the student bodies. They were clearing the path for what appeared to her to be another monster. This one moved very fast, and blood followed it. Heather looked from person to person, and knew they would collide. The poor jerk never saw Roger Picks around the corner. Jeremy slammed into him, and smeared blood on his wife beater shirt. Roger’s hands didn’t hesitate to shove the injured individual down. The wounded jerk didn’t fall, but his trajectory was drastically changed, and he crashed into a locker. He ricocheted off the locker, and ran out the doors at the backend of the lunchroom.

Heather was silent. She recognized the beast in Roger Picks; and was scared, again.

4

Being a football hero had its perks. The principal only lectured Bobby for a few minutes on watching his temper, then sent him home. As Bobby drove his truck he replayed the day. This was the first time he had ever gotten close to Mary. And he loved every moment of it. His mind now focused on the one girl at King County High he couldn’t have: Mary Robinson.

God, she is beautiful.

He knew people would laugh at him if they knew how he felt about Sister Mary Robinson, or, Mary The Holy Roller Robinson as she was called in school. He kept his crush a secret and used the hallways and class time for glimpses of her. He had to hide his feelings in front of his friends because he didn’t want to be ridiculed by the fellas.

The weird thing was; he wasn’t as worried about their laughing at him for being attracted to Mary. Because they would chock it up to Bobby’s wanting new territory to conquer. He was actually more terrified that Mary would find out about his attraction and laugh at him. She was literally perfect to him She dressed like a lady; she walked like a lady and sat like a lady. She didn’t cuss, smoke, drink, take drugs, have sex, or party. She didn’t even date. So what would she see in him? Just a jock who did lie, cheat, steal, cuss, smoke, drink, take drugs, fornicate and party. Sadly, he and Mary were complete opposites. She was perfect and he was trash. Light and dark; good and bad.

Mary wasn’t like the other girls at school. She didn’t feel the need to dress provocatively and show a lot of skin. In fact, Mary dressed in a way to keep guys from ogling her curves. Bobby admired the inner strength she possessed to be able to walk in that school every day, dressed different than the other girls.

His right hand was now cupped in the shape of her hip. He was still astonished that he had touched her, today, and at how natural it felt when he held her close. He looked out the windshield at the wide-open fields, where cows grazed, and strangely remembered how her hair smelled of strawberries. Those curls had tickled his chin, as if a strawberry breeze had blown across his face. His mouth watered, and he suddenly craved the delicious red fruit.

God, she’s beautiful.

Not only did he touch her, but he also protected her at the end of the predicament. Bobby didn’t care that she had left horrified at the blood on the floor. He was glad to know that he had hurt the guy that had hurt her. Bobby would have loved to ask her out after school, but he knew there was no way she would ever go out with him.

CHAPTER TWO

1

Mary Robinson rode the school bus home. She usually rode with her brother, Mathew, but she didn’t want to speak to him right now. With her book bag held tight to her side, she quietly walked to the back door. She slowly pulled the screen door back through the one squeaky spot on the hinges, and stopped it half way open. She opened the back door with nimble fingers, and crossed the threshold into the laundry room. Standing on a pile of laundry, next to the washer and dryer, she heard her brother’s voice, in the kitchen, and froze in place.

I don’t know where she’s at, ok? I looked for her after school, couldn’t find her, and came home. Got here and saw you, as always, standing at our back door wanting to come in.

What’s your problem. Mad cuz she left you? She’s probably off necking with Bobby Gardner, Heather Foster said. Mary immediately recognized her best friend’s voice.

Don’t mention that name in here.

Why not? He’s going to be your future brother-in-law.

There is no way my sister is dating that creep.

He used to be your friend.

"Key word in that sentence: used to be. Things change from grade school to high school."

You’re the one that quit the football team before the first game.

It was frickin hot!

I know a club that even you can handle.

Why don’t you go to Mary’s room and wait on her.

This is more fun. Seriously, join the activities club with me.

No, thanks.

Come on, Mathew. I don’t have any help. I’d do it for you if asked. We’re meeting up Thursday after school, to plan the upcoming Spirit Week.

"I like leaving school, when it’s over, and not staying, afterward, for stupid things like clubs."

Everyone will gather together for a stupid fight, but they don’t want to help out when it comes to school events. But they want to have’em. Do you realize Homecoming is a week before Halloween? Mathew, you haven’t had a date in a year; it doesn’t look like you will ever go on another.

Leave me alone.

However, there are five other chics that are in the club. If you come Thursday, it might impress them that you care about school, and I might be able to hook you up with one of them.

No thanks. I don’t need your help.

I’m sorry. I didn’t know you liked the loneliness.

I do stuff.

What?

Shut up.

You’re just mad because Bobby got in a fight over your sister today. You’ll come help me; you always do.

Bobby is always fighting.

"Yes, he is. But this time, the victim was the guy that knocked your sister down. Susan told me you could see steam coming from his nose he was so mad."

Whatever.

I’m telling you, there’s something there.

No, there’s not.

Yes, there is. Why didn’t Bobby just walk on by, like everyone else? Why didn’t he laugh like everyone else in the hall? He beat that jerk up because of Mary.

Bobby’s the jerk.

Mary wasn’t going to listen to her brother defend the creep that knocked her down, and she didn’t want to listen to their trash slinging anymore. She stepped out of her hiding place. Her best friend, Heather Foster, was a blue-eye-blonde that looked like a model. She sat on a barstool at the counter, watching Mathew cook a grilled cheese sandwich. The gray smoke followed the skillet as he took it off the burner, walked to the counter four feet away, and flipped the sandwich onto the plate. She could tell, from their lack of surprise, that they had no idea she had been eavesdropping. She still didn’t want to talk with anyone about what happened at school today. She wanted to quickly step past Mathew and go straight to her room. Unfortunately, she was unsuccessful.

Missed you after school today, Mathew said.

I rode the cheese wagon home.

Also heard about your run in with Bobby Gardner.

Mmm-mm, She really didn’t want to discuss this right now.

What a Neanderthal, Mathew turned off the stove. He grabbed his sandwich, leaned against the counter, and the butter from the sandwich oozed down his arm.

Mary laughed inwardly as she watched him eat. Jeremy did knock me down.

Yeah, but Bobby broke his jaw, and now the dude will be guzzling liquid Demerol; and eating through a straw.

I’ll talk to you in a minute, Heather. I’m gonna go get ready for prayer meeting tonight. I don’t want to talk about this anymore, with you, Mathew; he didn’t beat that guy up over me. I had nothing to do with it. I don’t know why he did it. Maybe Jeremy bumped into him too. Maybe, he looked at Bobby wrong; I don’t know. But I do know it wasn’t because of me.

Everyone at school is saying that Jeremy knocked you over, and Bobby freaked out, Heather said.

So what? I don’t even like the guy. He’s a stupid football player that uses girls. Once, I saw him holding Jessica Walden’s hand, and then kissing Beth Luce after school. He uses girls and throws them away. He’s trash, and I can’t stand the dude. So drop it. She went into her room. It was small, with the bed in the center and her dresser against the right wall. She shut and locked the door, dropped her books onto the bed and took off her shoes. She knelt down to her knees. Holding her hair out of her face with her left hand, she reached under the bed and pulled out a metal box. After she dialed in the combination, she opened the box and grabbed her diary. She wanted to write her feelings down before they escaped. She flopped onto the bed and started to write.

2

Okay, I had to write down what happened today, Bobby Gardner touched me today. And, oh my God, it literally took my breath away. Even though it’s been hours, since it happened; I can still feel his strong hands on my body. His chest touched my back, as I was wrapped in his rock-hard arms. When his breath tickled the back of my neck, shivers went down my spine.

I’m definitely going to repent at prayer meeting tonight. I have LUSTED for Bobby Gardner today!

Bobby could have any of the hot girls at school. What would he see in me, a young woman that lives for God?

Oh well, I’ll always have today, and the memory of his wonderful embrace.

3

The church was large by small town standards. Capable of seating about 500 people. Eight chandeliers hung from the ceiling, with several more decorative lamps mounted along the tall white walls. Two rows of long pews, with gray fabric and white painted wood, filled the inside; stopping twenty feet from the altar. The platform was three steps high, with black and white carpeting; a bulky wooden pulpit in the center. The choir loft was in the back, and the baptistery was behind it.

I hate math, Susan said to Mary. They were sitting in the middle of the left section.

How come? Mary asked. Glad to talk about anything other than today ’s inciting incident. I like it myself.

It don’t make sense.

Neither do boys. Heather Foster said. She wanted to change the conversation to something more important. I mean, how obvious do you have to be with a guy? Should I just walk up and kiss him?

That wouldn’t be right Mary said.

No, but it would get his attention, Heather said.

Sure would. Susan laughed. You might get a surprise though, when he slips in the tongue.

All three girls laughed. A few people looked their way, but then went back to talking and laughing themselves.

Why do guys always shove their tongues into your mouth? Susan asked. Don’t they know you can kiss without it?

I guess not, Heather said.

Mary sat there and smiled. The last date she had was two years ago, and Jamie West had kissed her like that. But he also wanted to put his hands on her chest. At first, it shocked her, but she enjoyed the attention too much to stop him. After he left that night, she felt guilty for not slapping his hand away and telling him to get lost. Mary hadn’t gone out with him, or anyone else, since. Mary wasn’t boy crazy. However, she didn’t want to be alone either. Consequently, in order for her to be loved, she had to meet someone. It didn’t look like that was going to happen any time soon. There were a few guys at school, she would date, but they wanted to go too far, too fast, and it was bye—bye if you didn’t like it.

There were some guys at school that weren’t like that, but they didn’t seem interested in church girls. They may have been decent guys; however, even they wanted girls that wore tight jeans, revealing T-shirts, and didn’t mind heavy petting.

Church guys couldn’t escape their male nature either. They also wanted their women to fit certain molds; they wanted flirty, hot looking babes with all the right curves. Mary was a blue-eyed brunette, with subtle curves, who felt she wasn’t high on the list of dateable girls. On the other hand, Heather looked like an angel, and Susan had long straight red hair and was attractive looking to a lot of guys. A blonde and a red—head were her best friends. Mary felt like they got the attention, and tried to pass some of it her way. She didn’t mind their doing this. She wished there was a guy, out there, that wanted her first, not as seconds.

So, how was your fling with Bobby Gardner today? Heather asked.

It was nothing. Mary rolled her eyes; the smile on her face said otherwise.

You reckon Bobby’s turning his attention to church babes. Susan said, and they all giggled at the idea.

Yeah right. You wanna hear what he said to me when he bumped into me?

They nodded.

Excuse me.

Maybe he was being polite, Heather said.

"More like, ashamed of the fact he touched me: Sister, Mary Robinson," Mary enunciated her name.

He touched you? Susan asked.

Well yeah, when he bumped into me. His hands grabbed me to keep me from falling.

They looked at her.

It sucks, Jeremy Black couldn’t have avoided you, Susan said.

Did y’all know Bobby broke his jaw? Heather asked them. They nodded, it was common knowledge before the end of the school day.

Boy, Bobby must’ve been mad at that dude. He must have owed Bobby some money, or said something awful to him.

Did he say anything to him? Susan asked.

Just to me, Mary said. "First, he called me a witch. Then, after that, he picked up his books and started to call me