Ripples of Reason: My Thoughts

By Rasheda Kabir

We all are shaped by our life experiences; we formulate our thoughts and perceptions based on the environment around us. Rasheda has the unique advantage of observing the world through the eyes many different cultures, through wars and peace times.
Born in India, raised and educated in Pakistan, she married a fellow student from Masters class in Geography. She also earned her second Masters degree in Education and together they started life in West Pakistan. Husbands job moved her to what was then East Pakistan, where in the third year of marriage she experienced a near-death medical condition. Later, with their five year old daughter they survived a bloody revolution, the war of independence and saw the birth of Bangladesh. They miraculously managed to escape from the chaotic political state of affairs to her family in West Pakistan. In 1972 fate took them to Saudi Arabia, a culture quite different to that of the subcontinent. Here they spent forty one years, the major part of their adult life and enjoyed the benefits of travelling worldwide. Now they live a retired life in Vancouver, Canada where their two daughters are settled with families.

Rashedas travels introduced her to different cultures and creeds and made her encounter experiences from across the globe, diverse in variety, offering a unique opportunity that enriched her receptive mind with many worldly insights much worth sharing. As a result she has developed the gift of accepting environmental, cultural and social diversity with ease and grace. Her writings capture a wide range, diverse in variety of thought and range of intellect. Rasheda philosophizes that the cultural disparity of thoughts and beliefs causes the split and separates people. She believes that human nature, a mix of positive and negative elements is universal, the same everywhere.

Ripples of Reason is as much an awakening for Rasheda as she hopes it will be for the reader.

Cover Image illustrated by: Rasheda Kabir

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Feb 17, 2018
• ISBN: 9781546227557

Rasheda Kabir

A woman of the world, Rasheda Kabir owns equal parts of wisdom andhumor. She finds gratifyingsatisfaction in sharing her everyday observations,experiences andthe philosophicalthoughts thatthey provoke. When she is not writing Rasheda is found at the easelpainting and has shared some of her art work in these pages. A deep thinking multi-talented individual, awriter and artist, enjoys many innovative hobbies and interests. Her writings capture a wide range of observations anddiversityof thoughts.

Book preview

2018 Rasheda Kabir. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or

transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 02/16/2018

ISBN: 978-1-5462-2756-4 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5462-2755-7 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2018901498

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models,

and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

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CONTENTS

EARLY RIPPLES

DEATH

TIME, IT’S MY TIME

ART

THE EXTRICABLE QUEST

LOVE

BELIEVERS AND NONBELIEVERS

ENVY

EXISTANCE

AGING…IT’S ME, AGING

CLOSE ENCOUNTER

HOME COOKING

RECIPES TO TRY

UN-PLANNED PARENTHOOD

WHO AM I?

D E D I C A T E D

Fondly

TO

Hasan, my husband

Shahnaz and Tanya, my daughters

Tahir and Paul, my sons-in-law

Zaid and Emad, my grandsons

&

My sisters

Shahida, Nadira, Farida and Nudrat

My brothers

Zafar, Iqbal, Nasir and Asad

Art by

Rasheda Kabir

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REFLECTIONS

F O R E W O R D

Dear readers, ‘Ripples of Reason’ are the ripples of thoughts which float in my mind, drift to my heart and reach my intellect, searching for answers to some lingering questions, looking for raison d’être. Much has been said on such subjects by thinkers and philosophers, giving philanthropic insight and meaningful analysis. But, to research and make a study of a certain subject or else just feel and sense in a certain way about the same topic are two different approaches to view a theme and resolve one’s thoughts. My reflections are only plain and simple thoughts and beliefs that emerge and occupying my mind and I am driven to put them down, to share them with you. I consider it consequential to express how one feels deep down in the heart about certain issues and expresses what one truthfully senses and believes. I try to find some simple facts and gather some existing specifics about topics I want to write about and base my opinions on what comes to my mind without making critical analysis or a deep study of the themes.

I think quotations, the gist of wisdom of great minds, are a great source of learning.

Expressing one’s thoughts, opinions, views and ideas is an instinctive natural impelling desire. We intuitively want to tell what we really are. We want our emotions and sensibilities to be known, to tell what they are. But all minds are different having their own unique manner of behaviour in responding to situations and reaching conclusions. No two people feel alike, act alike or react alike, and you and I surely will not think alike. Taking that into consideration, I would request you to kindly keep an open mind while evaluating my writings, looking at the world by the eyes of another and taking my thoughts as a study to view how a mind other than your own thinks and reflects.

You may not agree with some of the ways I look at things. If such be the case, I presume you will remind yourself that they are the way they are, since they are my thoughts and not yours.

Some of the articles are life experiences which I feel obliged to put down on paper. I hope they engage your attention enough to read through.

Rasheda

P R E F A C E

If I can write, then anyone can write. The truth is that when younger, it never crossed my mind that I should or could get into the engaging pursuit of writing and that it could become my favourite hobby.

Things do happen! I wrote my thoughts and you are going to read them.

We moved to Canada in March of 2013, mainly to be near our daughters who are settled in Vancouver. The earlier 41 years of our lives my husband and I had lived in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia, where we had established a favourable life and had enjoyed a peaceful and comfortable living. Even though we had the pleasure of many gratifying amenities and the association of good friends, yet for me it was a somewhat restrained life, culturally restricted and intellectually uninspiring; monotonous years of just being a homemaker.

How did I get the inspiration to write?

While we were living in Saudi Arabia my daughter Shahnaz e-mailed me from Vancouver saying that a friend of hers, Ellen Besso, was facing the concern of finding ways to provide care for her aging mother. An author in her own right, the lady wanted to make a study of the subject of how different cultures and societies deal with this universal stipulation of many challenging demands. She requested that I write and tell her how elderly parents are looked after in Pakistan, where I come from. Ellen was pleased with my report and incorporated some of it in her book.

This experience of exploring my mind and expressing my thoughts gave me the incentive, the motivation to write more. I was inspired and with plenty of free time to spend at home I went ahead, on to my computer to write my feelings, ideas and opinions on some thoughts which were occupying my mind.

So I began. But then, at first I had no idea where to start from, what to write about. I needed a lead, a jump-start to catapult me into attempting to make sense of a subject, any subject. I sifted my mind searching for some topic I was curious about, or an experience that had touched me in my life, with which I was somewhat familiar. My encounter with ‘near death experience’ made me think what ‘death’ could be. Discussing the subject of this inevitable reality with my family members I found their ideas so diverse and contradictory that I decided to put my foot down and express my own views. That’s how my thoughts on ‘DEATH’ came, my first essay. Later more followed.

I thoroughly enjoy giving words to my heartfelt feelings and beliefs, writing my thoughts and viewpoints in my own manner. In a certain way it releases and liberates something somewhere within which I find gratifying and fulfilling. It meets my emotional need and makes me feel good. I try to explore and learn a little more and understand the topic a little better to add to whatever I decide to write about. Thoughts just flow and I go on putting them down. No fiction, no dramatization, just specific facts conveying my true opinions, expressing how I feel and what I think about certain things.

I truly believe in what someone has pointed out, ‘Reader’s appreciation will be sincere only if the writer is sincere’.

Robert Frost has also said: No tears for the writer, no tears for the reader. No surprises for the writer, no surprises for the reader.

In due course gradually more subjects based on events and situations I had faced in life kept coming easily to be added to my list. Readers may not always have the same opinion about the way I think, but for me it is important to say how I felt and feel at the time and now.

I wish to say that I have received enormous delectable satisfaction, cordial gratification and rewarding fulfilment in putting across my sentiments and sensibilities. Expressing ones inner feelings, letting out pent up emotions is therapeutic, it is curative.

We all have something to say, something to talk about, something to share. It is gracious to expose our intimate thoughts sincerely, open them to others who may learn something from our perceptions or at least find it interesting to read them. It is greatly exciting, elating and satisfying to say what one want to say, the way one wants to say.

Listening to someone’s thoughts is interesting and motivating. Express your thoughts, cherish the experience, enjoy the great feeling.

Rasheda.

A C K N O W L E D G E M E N T

I wish to express my earnest acknowledgement and grateful appreciation for the assurance I received from my family that my writings are thought provoking, inciting and interesting and that I should continue writing. That is why Ripples of Reason has come about.

While writing the articles and then revising them I changed my line of thought and the turn of phrase a number of times and my husband, Hasan had to go through the tedious task of reading the drafts much more than once, going over each article again and again. I owe much to my daughters and sons in law who gave their input which certainly was most inspiring and encouraging.

A good stroke of luck came when my dear friend, Eileen Le Gallais, M. Ed., graciously and selflessly offered to edit my writings. I am grateful to her for giving the articles time and attention. I appreciate the encouragement she offered and the idea she gave to include my art work to make the book colourful and attractive.

Going over some of the topics more than once I continued making changes and re-editing was required. Our good friend Dick Turner who calls my husband ‘the philosopher’ and me ‘the Indian princess’, offered to do the second editing and he assures me that he enjoyed doing it. For that I am deeply obliged to him.

For the final proof-reading Ripples of Reason had to go to my daughter, Tanya. Though busy with a fulltime job and home responsibilities she took time out for me. Who better could I have found then she who has a master’s degree in creative writing? She has a clear mind and a good command on the ability of expression. My daughter Shahnaz organized the writings, giving the articles the shape of a book. Both the girls and their husbands assisted in selected the paintings from my collection to be part of this edition. Thank you all.

My husband, Hasan, an author of science fiction novels, helped in selecting the publisher and has taking care of other details for the magic to happen to make ‘Ripples of Reason’ a reality.

Rasheda.

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FRAGILITY

If you bring forth what is within you,

What you bring forth will save you.

If you do not bring forth what is within you,

What you do not bring forth will destroy you.

Jesus. The Gospel of Thomas.

EARLY RIPPLES

To think of it!

Is there a key relationship in my life, a special person who has influenced me and has prejudiced me in a way that changed my character, me, and my life?

Who could it have been?

Well! I can think of a few people who, in bits and pieces, have contributed bits and pieces to my life but no specific name of a special person comes to mind. I am thinking, what has made me into who I am? What has made me, Me!

Again and again an image pops up and emerges in the mind and that is me. ‘Myself’! It is certainly no one else but I who has made me who and what’ I am. I have made myself ‘Me.’!

We learn the most from self since self is alive and cognisant and is constantly being groomed. It is perpetually being instructed, endlessly being educated, continuously being instigated and is influenced all the time on an ongoing basis. In itself self acknowledges and accepts advice, it hails new insights, new observations. Self seeks knowledge, it wants to learn and welcomes the information it receives.

The way I am today is the aggregate accumulation of the lessons self has accessed to me. I am regularly learning from my exclusive and classified, though, restricted every day’s life-experiences which keep passing on awareness and knowledge. The data that is collected in my mind routinely colours my thoughts, ensigns my judgements and teaches me my way of living. These instructions stay with me, they agglomerate in my brain and I mould myself accordingly. Fresh directives keep on changing me and I go on changing my life.

Each day a new sun rises, with it unusual and original experiences keep adding to renew me and reform me. Each new day self-stumble on something new and regards novel realizations, exceptional discernments and fresh facts, it accedes to new learning experiences. Self regularly introduces to me, inducts into me something unique, something original and teaches me to take the world in a different way and I learn to interact with people differently, react to situations carefully and solicit issues discreetly. Each day is a new day, unmatched, extraordinary, unlike previous days and each day I am remoulded and transformed. Today I am not what I was yesterday and tomorrow I will not be what I am today.

It is a privilege that life is constantly teaching us lessons, cultivating us, grooming us, to improve the quality of our thoughts and the state of our hearts and minds. It is persistently paving the way for us to live an enhanced and rewarding life, a good life, a life worth living.

George Eliot advises:

It is never too late to be what you might have been.

On planet Earth mankind has inherited the world, our ready-made, bountiful, beautiful extravaganza. It is everyone’s world, no one owns it but everyone belongs to it. It environs us and we live in it. In this dynamic and vibrant world we learn to live in accordance with nature and with all life and survive. We learn to live with people and subsist. However there is another world, the innate world within. The world of our own making is our private-natural-order, our personal kingdom; we are the architects and masters of this empire. This confidential select world is unlike any other or anyone else’s domain; we are the caretakers of this exclusive realm which we can adorn and make as beautiful as we wish and live with it. In this world we are alone and aspire to learn to live in harmony and amity with ourselves. It is here where we can seek serenity, reach fulfilment and achieve spirituality, or whatever the quest is. It is up to us what kind of world we create and how well and gratified we live with it. We can craft this world of ours as inspired and tranquil as we fancy, as exclusive and satisfying as we desire.

Me:

As a child I was second after over a year older, clever and talented sister and before a year younger, smart and athletic brother. I was a forlorn follower, passive and docile, shy and submissive. They made a team and I simply tagged along with them, possibly offending them, displeasing them. But I was not happy in this role, something was amiss, something was not right, I was dissatisfied, disgruntled, I was seeking something, there was a quest within, something needed to change. Perhaps the urge was to get free, come out and expose myself, depict my real self. This plight taught me the lesson that dependence is a demoralizing sentiment, a repressing emotion, an inhibiting feeling. That it is important to be audacious and bold. That bashfulness restricts, confines and that shyness doesn’t