Through My Sight

By Alex N Azar

A remarkable journey of a young man struggling with a life-threatening disease, family conflicts, discovering his life's purpose, and fighting a war with his own fate where his free-will keeps falling short. Surviving through many encounters of life, that once seemed impossible, he desperately seeks to attain a normal life. He keeps moving forward believing in himself to prove to the world that there has to be a better end to his journey. The young man observes a lot of deep facts of the world we have become a part of today fighting through his own miseries. All his observations come from his personal living experiences and draw a true sketch of how the society's influence can be for an individual in both good and bad times. Twenty-two years of tough living and learns that no matter how hard life could be, it cant be worth giving up.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Jan 20, 2018
• ISBN: 9781543477870

Alex N Azar

About The author: Alex Azar is a 22-year-old male who is suffering to somehow attain a simple life as for him it just seems very hard for him to do so. Being split into two different worlds: Pakistan and United states he maintains to be a very strong man and does not take no for an answer but his free will somehow have just kept falling short to his fate all his life. He discusses his entire life in which has a bunch he has observations and examples about the world and how it can act in one's tough times. He is a 4th stage Brain cancer survivor and has met all expectations of the world until he was diagnosed with cancer. It's been 10 years of him striving through every day trying to be better but realizes that there may be a bigger objective for him in the world.

Book preview

Copyright © 2018 by Alex N. Azar.

Library of Congress Control Number:           2018900583

ISBN:                   Hardcover                                 978-1-5434-7785-6

                            Softcover                                   978-1-5434-7786-3

                            eBook                                          978-1-5434-7787-0

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Rev. date: 02/08/2018

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CONTENTS

Introduction

Significant Changes

Start Off between Two Worlds

Night Changes

Beginning of Many Impossibilities

Coping with Poisons

The Ultimate Mission

The After Effects

Oh, dear uncles!

The Weakness of All

Eyes to Sight

Who I’d Become

The World Today

My Belief Now

ABOUT THE BOOK:

T HROUGH MY SIGHT is the story of a young man who openly discusses his life experiences in detail of how the world around him plays its role significantly, from the very beginning. The book gives a feel for what it’s like for an ordinary human to live in the world we are a part of today. Azar describes his step-by-step journey, of how unfortunate encounters keep hitting him and how his free will keeps falling short to his fate. Azar is desperate to live a normal life after fighting cancer and successfully overcoming many impossible obstacles, yet unexpected obstacles keep coming his way.

At such a young age, Azar has observed a lot of deep facts being a victim of the society, split into two different worlds and going through multiple hardships in his life. The story brings light to many present mainstream matters that he and many ordinary people experience on daily basis. As he fights his war against his fate he observes a lot of stuff wrong happening around the world which includes misjudgment because of one’s religion, sexism, racism, and poverty. Several times he wants to give up yet he realizes that he should keep fighting as there has to be a better purpose to his life.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Alex Azar is a twenty-two-year-old male who is trying to somehow attain a simple normal life as for him, it just seems very hard to do so. Being split into two different worlds—Pakistan and the United States—he maintains to be a very strong man and does not take no for an answer, but his free will somehow has just kept falling short to his fate all his life. He discusses his entire life in which he has a bunch of observations and examples about the world and how it can possibly act in one’s tough times. He is a fourth-stage brain cancer survivor and has met all expectations of the world until he was diagnosed. It’s been ten years of him striving through every day, trying to be better, yet unfortunate events keep coming his way. Many times, he wants to give up but he eventually realizes that there may be a bigger objective for him in the world than to live for himself.

INTRODUCTION

E VERYTHING HAPPENS FOR a reason is what I was told all my life by the elders. I wonder if that is true. Living this life has certainly not been easy. One problem finishes, and I realize ten more are waiting at my doorstep. I ask myself each and every single morning, is this really what life is meant to be. I don’t know as many people have no problems at all. Some would tell me that you only live once, so simply make the most of each and every moment as once the time is gone, it’s all over like it was never there. But what about the people who don’t get the chance to live it, the people who are limited to their abilities, the people who can’t do so much of what others can? Is this really how some lives are supposed to be and is that even fair. I personally don’t know, but maybe I am just overthinking it. Regardless, I hope and will try to seek that answer in the coming years I have left to live. Right now, I am just striving to see a better tomorrow. I am twenty-two years old, have fought through multiple encounters and now am probably facing one of the biggest one at this very moment which classifies my life to be very hard. Yet making it so far, I don’t really feel like giving up just yet.

I’ve also heard since the very beginning is that an individual is already destined for everything that is taking place in their lives’. Now living twenty-two years of it, I can clearly state that a person has quite a big role in whatever happens in their lives’. The only thing an individual will need after having that striving and hardworking attitude is a little bit of luck to go along with it. Sitting back and saying that a person is helpless because it’s all in ones destiny and nothing could be done about that, to me is absurd. I have seen it for quite some time and have learned from my living experiences that if it was not for my free will to come this far and be where I am today, there was no way I could have completed a quarter of my life journey. It’s a choice—a wise choice! What can you do, and most importantly, what do you want to do? It’s these questions we want to answer, and for that, we may have a hundred years or one or maybe even less. The deepest reality is that no one really knows when the stop will come. Once the stop is there, there is no looking back. Death is undoubtedly inevitable. It clears away the past and makes space for the future. Later the new will fade away and become old and so forth. Everything one was worried about and thought that they would never forget is all gone. That is life!

On August 6, 1995, I took birth in a community hospital of Chicago, Illinois, with tons of positivity and hope. I was named Alex, which meant The Profited translated from Arabic. Since the very beginning, there was a thought and idea fed into my mind: You are a man, and you’re already ahead of the game. You are a man, and you should not cry—a man who should be privileged over women and a man who should have no fear whatsoever. These sentences were repeatedly said to me again and again so I never forget. All these characteristics were set before I was born. I was part of such a culture where everything in a child’s life was preferred to be set by outsiders rather than their direct family. My favorite color would be a dark color because it had something to do with masculinity. I took birth in such part of a society where the child’s entire identity was already formed which included how the child was going to act, talk, and walk etc. If anything were to be different, the child was set to be disrespectful, and they should alter their ways of living to move forward. There was a fixed path we all had to follow and it was not a choice.

The same way I see the world today, and many times, when one child is born, his identity is already formed to meet the external expectations. People would tell the parents how they should raise the child. Once told, if the parents beg to differ, they would face the society’s criticism. Eventually, most parents fall in the culture’s oppression and act the same way inspired by a nobody, not thinking once of what their beloved children actually want. Well, growing up, I can tell you very confidently that yes, I have feelings just like a normal human being, and yes, just like a normal being I sometimes wanted to try something new. Despite lots of criticism by the society, I would be given that chance as I was a male. My gender being a male has kept me in a special bubble all my life that really is no different than being a female, but it’s just the society’s and culture’s view that has made it a little easier on me because of my gender.

Society and culture play such a vital role in one’s life although we must always be attentive and keep our eyes open to what is right and wrong. I personally always found it absurd and extremely weird how one’s life depends on external expectations than the child’s very own desires, but I guess that’s the way it was and is. God chooses one’s gender, and a human has no control on that. After, we are told to follow a path. If you are a male, you are privileged, and if a female, it’s sexism.

Let’s quickly go through the difference between the genders and how they were and unfortunately still are looked at. So, if God chooses one human to be a female, she already has set standards to follow, being judged or discriminated because of something she really has no command on. While if God chooses one to be a male, he is looked above a female and gets unnecessary privilege. Is that fair?

I am an able-bodied, independent heterosexual middle-class human