The Navigator Series: Coaching Self

By Mark Wilkes-Jones

There are many people who consider themselves victims of fate. The stress, anger, frustration, and sometimes depression that they feel on a daily basis is nothing more than the result of refined habits of negativity and lack of anything resembling direction or vision. It would never have occurred to them that they could coach themselves out of these bad habits and generate strategies for positive change.

This book has been created to provide the right information and guidance on how to apply professional coaching techniques to your life, and it will open the readers eyes to the process of creating positive directional change, whereby the reader is able to develop their potential through the completion of many activities outlined in the book.

Topics covered in this book include establishing your values, vision and goals, motivation, identifying and taking action against the barriers to your success, and learning to accept change in your life.

It is a well-written, practical guide to self-development which will set you on a path to positive and lasting change.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris AU
• Release date: Nov 30, 2017
• ISBN: 9781543405316

Mark Wilkes-Jones

Mark Wilkes-Jones is a decorated former British police detective whose 15-year career also included an 3 tours of duty with the United Nations Mission in Kosovo, where he performed multiple roles including that of Regional Serious Crime Squad Chief and exhumations team leader. He then went on to work in Africa as an overland travel adviser and in 2006 went to work as a private contractor in Iraq, training police recruits. His portfolio also includes working as a training manager with a major resources organization on the Gorgon project, Solomon Iron Ore Mine-Site and Christmas Creek. He now lives and works in Western Australia, where in 2011 he completed his university postgraduate studies in adult and tertiary education. He currently works in Australia’s largest male prison – Acacia, where he teaches English and mathematics to inmates.

Book preview

The Navigator’s Life Journey Guidelines

The way you live and how you journey through life is largely a reflection of where you have been, who you have been, and the beliefs you have formed.

For the time that I have been on my life’s journey, I have always tried to live by five simple guidelines, but who am I to create such guidelines that should make sense to everyone?

A wiser man than me once said,

Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and common sense. – Buddha Quote (@BuddhaQuote)

buddha%20II.jpg

What I know to be true in my life is, whenever my focus is unclear or I start to feel overwhelmed, I rely on my five guidelines to see me through these intensely personal and difficult times.

My Five Life Journey Guidelines

Number 1

Never give in to negativity or be persuaded by those around you who preach negativity. Stay away from these people, for they have a problem for every solution.

Number 2

Never be afraid to take an opportunity, because if that opportunity does not yield fruit, you can still measure your success through the fact that you at least tried.

Number 3

Do not be afraid of failure. Failure is a life lesson and should be gratefully received, because it will make us stronger, wiser, and more understanding.

Number 4

Work hard. With hard work comes reward. With reward comes success. And always remember to share your rewards and successes with others.

Number 5

Always be true to yourself. Achieve this act in accordance with who you are and what you believe in. Only if you truly love and value yourself will you find it effortless to be true to yourself.

An Introduction to Self-Coaching

Coaching is a simple enough idea, and many professional coaches would agree that an effective definition of it would be something like this:

Coaching is about creating positive directional change, whereby individuals are able to develop their potential.

Self-coaching, by applying professional coaching techniques to your own goals and experiences, is not only viable but is also the ultimate goal that coaches help clients achieve. It takes discipline and dedication, but it can be done.

On a professional level, coaching is a process that mainly uses the following techniques:

• effective questioning—the use of open questions (who, what, where, when, why, and how)

• observation—observing body language to ensure it is congruent with what is being said

• communication and active listening—a two-way open-communication strategy and the ability to use active listening skills, such as silence, eye contact, paraphrasing

• confrontation—the ability to challenge the client by asking critical questions or providing alternative strategies in an attempt to provoke thoughtfulness and action to guide someone because either they’re in the middle of change and don’t know what to expect or they need to change and can’t make it happen.

Common scenarios of the former include receiving a promotion, taking on a challenging new project, or moving cross-country, whereas situations involving the latter include making a career change, losing weight, quitting smoking, etc.

Feeling anxious, unsupported, or depressed about a particular part of your life is also a sign that coaching could be needed. There’s no shortage of symptoms, because the way your true self signifies it needs support is to create unhappiness and discontent.

Throughout the course of this book, you will be introduced to the self-coaching four-step model, as demonstrated below.

The Self-Coach Model

1_Page_09_Image_0001.jpg

The ultimate aim of coaching is to enable an individual to create their own meaningful directional change, it is important to remember, however, that change is a non-linear process and not a sudden and dramatic event.

The four-step self-coaching model is designed to provide a simplified overview of the coaching process, however, and as stated above, these steps are not linear but could be described as a multidirectional cycle whereby a commitment to taking action one minute might bring about further contemplation the next—so in fact one step forward and one step back.

At this point, the role of the professional coach would be to support the client through the cycle step by step; however, because you