Death Without Dying

By Robin S. Anthony

Please know that this story is a personal one. The accounts I have written are true, and I have recorded them accurately to the best of my abilities.

I only pray that there will be someone or many who read this and know there is hope and help. You are not alone, and you can make it through the storm and manage to find the light of day. Never give up trying! Always love and forgive yourself! You are lovable and capable and worthy of being happy and loved.

Life is a highway. Ride the road and enjoy the journey.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Dec 7, 2016
• ISBN: 9781524648930

Robin S. Anthony

In the year 2016, I am moving forward with a positive attitude. Life has ups and downs, but I can conquer any obstacle that comes into my path. Peter, Donna, and Angela Amadeo thought I would crumble and die when they put me out of the house. Not so! There is life beyond 39 Summit Road. I have a lot of accomplishments. I am a certified peer specialist, an author, a singer, and an actress. I have turned lemons into lemonade. Not to mention that, on November 15, 2015, I had a three-and-a-half pound tumor removed from my shoulder. I am doing fine.

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Death

without

Dying

Robin S. Anthony

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AuthorHouse™

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Bloomington, IN 47403

www.authorhouse.com

Phone: [phone]

© 2016 Robin S. Anthony. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 12/06/2016

ISBN: 978-1-5246-4894-7 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5246-4893-0 (e)

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models,

and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Contents

Chapter One

Darkness

Chapter Two

Falling into Frustration

Chapter Three

Trying to be an Adult

Chapter Four

Trying to Survive in the World Hindered by Mental Illness

Chapter Five

Could the Cycle of My Life Get Any Worse?

Chapter Six

Going From a Nice Home Living in the Suburbs to Being Homeless

Chapter Seven

Living at Robert’s House Part 1

Chapter Eight

Living at Robert’s House Part 2; More Losses and Setbacks

Chapter Nine

Brighter Days and Feeling More Hope

Chapter Ten

Another Journey Through the Valley

Chapter Eleven

Job Had Nothing on Me

Chapter Twelve

Learning to Use Coping Skills and Accepting What I Cannot Change

Chapter Thirteen

Heartbreak and Heartache

Chapter Fourteen

Hope for a Better Year and More

-March 22, 2011

Dear Mom,

I write this letter to you to give me closure. I found out a few weeks ago that you passed away. I guess I don’t feel sorrow or grief! I just feel numb. Pierre and Dawn never contacted me, I found out through a nurse that worked at the Coyne House.

You never called me to see if I was doing all right. You knew Robert’s house was a mess and he is an alcoholic. Let me just give you a run down of how life has been for me the last six years.

I lost EVERYTHING! I have no family. I have friends but no one can help me through the terrible journey I have to take.

• I lost all my money that I saved. I hired a dumpster for $395.00 to clean the house and Robert put everything back within hours of my hiring the dumpster.

• I had to contend with Robert’s friends stealing my things and being a threat to my safety.

• Robert was drunk most of the time and he broke most of my things.

• I had to walk every place a lot of the times in all kinds of weather.

• Robert forced me to buy a car that was a lemon for $2,500 and I had to have it towed.

• I lost my beloved Yorkshire terrier Susie Q on August 5, 2008 because Robert will not fix the door. She had the value of $900.00 but the point is I miss her and I will never get her back.

• The furnace is unsafe and I am always afraid of fire.

• The ceiling leaks every time it rains in the bathroom and the kitchen.

• The toilet backed up on the clothes that I am forced to keep in the kitchen and ruined them.

• Robert won’t give me a bedroom and the clutter is deplorable.

• Valerie and Lynn do not want to bother with me because of the way I live.

• I had a nervous break down in 2008 and now can only work at Trudy’s between 3 and 12 hours a week.

• Robert expects me to pay for everything and I had to give him $2,500 for his transmission on top of everything else I lost.

• I can’t take a bath in the tub because the tub is filthy.

• I can’t watch TV because there is no signal.

• I am trapped in his filthy house from morning to night because I don’t have a car.

• He once hit me in an argument that we had.

• The yard is filthy and the fences are broken and I have to worry about the dogs when they are outside.

• I have met undesirable people in my life that took advantage of me because of my dire situation.

• I tried to rent a room and the couple were drug addicts and I never got my security deposit back.

Well my life is ruined. I have been to the hospital countless times for stress related illness. I lost $630.00 to hire a handwriting expert and $1,000.00 for the defense lawyer to defend me. The probation officer put a warrant on my license and I had to return to court to drop the charges that Pierre put against me.

You did NOTHING TO PROTECT ME OR THE DOGS.

You signed the second deed leaving the house to Pierre and Dawn when I had no place to live.

I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU FOR THAT!

I used to believe in God and an afterlife. I am not sure there is a God or a place called heaven. If there is a heaven I hope you are not there.

I hope I do not encounter you in another life!!!

I can’t undo the damage you allowed to enter my life. My life is forever tarnished and I know I will never truly be happy again.

I only look