Love-Lust-Friendship-Or Games: Which Relationship Do You Feel You’Re In?

By Empress

This is a work of non-fiction inspired by my own life and the lives of others that have touched mine. This book is about love and romance and the many games people sometimes play to perfection with their playground being your life, their toys being your time and emotions. Sadly, when involved in relationships, many are cataloged and categorized by their loved ones without realizing so. This book will help you to know or somewhat allow you to be cognizant of your relationship with your significant other if it is love or if he or she has simply categorized whatever you have as something other than love. This book will relate to you true stories of games played upon the hearts of the ones love once claimed as many sometimes are perplexed when it comes to their true feelings towards their other half. This book will tell you signs of when love is part of your relationship when it is absent from your relationship, and when it may be time to walk away from it all. All names and locations in this work have been falsified to protect the identities of all parties involved, but the stories and events are true.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Aug 18, 2016
• ISBN: 9781524622787

Empress

Empress was born in Puerto Rico but raised in Trinidad & Tobago West Indies, along with five siblings, by her mom and dad. At the age of 17, she ventured alone to the U.S. in search of a better life, leaving her family behind. Her path and determination for success began when she encountered challenging times over the years. It was those challenging times that Empress realized how imperative it is to know yourself, know what you want in life and proceed towards it, regardless of the obstacles faced. Empress knows that the challenge to overcome just to achieve is not an easy road. But she’s cognizant that the reward at the end of the tunnel is worth the journey in getting there. Over the years, harsh experiences in life coupled with life lessons she learned from those of others, helped mold her into the successful woman she is today. She believes that, in spite of the many disappointing experiences that not a few of us suffer in relationships, true love actually exists because her parents met at 21 years old, got married at age 23 and stayed happily married until her mother’s untimely demise at the tender age of 59. It was from her parents’ life together that Empress was able to keep her firm belief that true love and loving relationships still do exist despite the selfishness seen in the world we live in today. Sometimes we just have to weed out the bad seed and wait a bit before that “one” makes his or her final destination – into our lives.

Book preview

Love-Lust

Friendship

or Games

Which Relationship Do You Feel You’re In?

Empress

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© 2016 Empress. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 08/18/2016.

ISBN: 978-1-5246-2279-4 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5246-2278-7 (e)

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models,

and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

CONTENTS

Chapter 1 What Is The True Meaning Of Love?

Chapter 2 Whatever Is Done In Darkness

Chapter 3 Sometimes It Comes Back Unexpected

Chapter 4 The Games People Sometimes Play

Chapter 5 The Unfortunate Downside Of Games

Chapter 6 Committed Or Scared To Be Alone?

Chapter 7 Before You Say Yes… Be Certain

Chapter 8 Intense Love Or Destructive Love Aka Possessiveness?

Chapter 9 Knowing When To Walk Away

Chapter 10 Waiting: The Only Answer Sometimes

Chapter 11 We Accept What We Know

Closing When It’s All Said And Done

AUTHOR’S NOTE

This is a work of non-fiction inspired by my own life and the lives of others that have touched mine. This book is about love and romance and the many games people sometimes play to perfection with their playground being your life, their toys being your time and emotions. Sadly, when involved in relationships, many are cataloged and categorized by their loved ones without realizing so. This book will help you to know or somewhat allow you to be cognizant of your relationship with your significant other if it is love or if he or she has simply categorized whatever you have as something other than love. The names and locations in this work have been falsified to protect the identities of all parties involved, but the stories and events are true. Anyone with the same name and/or resemblance of the events as it appears in this book is completely coincidental.

EDUCATIONAL PROFILE

1986–1988: Malick Senior High ~ Graduated: Trinidad & Tobago West Indies

1990–1991: Job Corp ~ Graduated: Word Processing & Office Procedures/Management

1994–1995: National Career Institute ~ Graduated: EKG & Phlebotomy Technician

2000–2002: ASA College ~ Graduated: Associates Degree in Healthcare Administration

2004–2009: University of Phoenix ~ Graduated: Bachelors in Science: Healthcare Management

2012–2014: Penn Foster College ~ Graduated: Medical Transcription

INTRODUCTORY

I once dated a guy who lied to me for roughly 1 ½ years which was the entire duration of the relationship until I terminated our sham of a relationship for his endless lies. His name was Todd whom I met in Rhode Island. The lies came from day one until I pulled the truth out from its hideout, and despite my plea for Todd’s truth, I did so without his help. And the lies that were revealed was a far cry from Todd’s poured out emotions to me throughout our relationship. He pledged his love for me continuously. But the weirdest thing ~ even though I felt his emotions, in my gut I felt that something was wrong. Todd once told me he did not think he can get an erection for any other woman and this is when I thought he was playing me for an ass, so I told him to shut up. I told him to shut up because I could tell something about his entire living situation was off. I believed him when he said he cared for me, but not loved me. I could feel his care and sometimes his emotions seemed deep. But just the mere fact something about his life was not sitting right with me, disallowed me to believe he loved me. This is your intuition or gut feeling people. It refused to let go of my emotions. Sometimes to test Todd’s love, I would go shopping and once he got to my house I would show him the receipts and items bought and requested he reimbursed me for my shopping spree. I considered it a gift from him to me, on my behalf. He always reimbursed me but it still was not enough to be proven as love. Something about his entire situation was not right. Todd’s friend Austin tried in more ways than one to let me know what was going on but tried doing so without stepping on his friend toes. He thought I should know the truth, yet he thought it was not his place to say what the truth was. But what was the truth? I had not the slightest clue because this man continuously told me he loved me and spent almost every night at my house. Austin threw little hints here and there for me to figure out Todd’s secret. But it was impossible for me to retrieve a full-blown story or should I say, a scandal from little hints thrown around of do you truly know where he sleeps at night when he is not at your house; who did he tell you he lived with? Do you believe him?" This was confirmation something with Todd was definitely off. Based on Austin’s little questions, I knew my gut instinct was right about something being wrong. But based on my overall observations, the most I conjured up in my head was Todd had another woman. But this was just the tip of the iceberg. When the truth finally revealed Todd’s life, apart from our fabrication of a union, he was actually married but separated from his wife and 2 children, after his wife put him out. And once we left my house on mornings, Todd was actually going to another woman’s house, that was not his wife. Yes, the nasty, dirty lies always leak out. Three women in the mix of a dirty love affair, including yours truly. I’m certain none of us knew. Lies, deceit, and scandal brought into my life by someone who claimed he did not believe another woman can cause his penis to rise.

The scandal started one and a half year prior when I met Todd at a party, and after making grand advancement towards me, he told me he was single. I took it with a grain of salt as this seemed to be the story of most men nowadays, especially when they want to have their cake and eat it too. But I took his story. But when I pushed to know about Todd’s sleeping quarters, he told me that he couldn’t take me to his aunt’s home because she was a mean fouled-mouth woman who did not care for anyone in her house. Over time, the doubts quickly dissolved when he made his presence at my house after work, 4, then 5, then 6 days a week and occasionally 7 nights a week. Todd was at my house almost every night, and we left together every morning and headed to work. Yes, it was hard to believe this man was living a double life, or I should say triple life when he was sleeping at my house a minimum of 5 nights, sometimes 7 nights a week. But even though the doubts dwindled over time, because I never actually saw his house, my gut instinct kept telling me something was not 100% precise. As much as I tried to lay it to rest, that feeling kept resurfacing. My Friends ~ALWAYS listen to your gut feeling. It will never mislead you. As time went by, Todd told me he wanted me to have his baby and my response to him was I needed more information on his dwelling place before we proceed down the baby path. I told Todd that I still was not 100% satisfied with what I knew about his living arrangement. He agitatedly responded that everything was good and I already knew what I needed to know about his dwelling place. Todd then quickly dismissed the baby talk. And once he dismissed the baby talk because of my inquiry of his living arrangement, I knew my gut instinct was on target. I began to realize Todd was living a lie and he wanted to inflict his lie into my life. And I became disgusted with the entire false relationship so I decided it was time to take it up a notch. I decided that it was best to break up with Todd, but I had means of getting him to move on without me. When Todd appeared at my house, I started to think a bit like a guy. He was no longer fit to lay in my bed, so after having sex with Todd on my living room sofa, I then told him I needed my space on the bed. He looked at me puzzled and dismayed when I told him his new bed was my sofa. Yes ~ Todd was no longer worthy of entering my bedroom or laying on my bed, so I downgraded his access in my home. I was actually hoping for him to leave permanently when I told him he could no longer sleep on my bed. But he did not respond the way I had hoped. Instead, he took a pillow and blanket and wrapped himself on my petite couch before falling asleep. This occurred night after night after our sexual encounter. This went on for weeks without Todd responding the way I hoped. And every time our sex moment ended, I would then say to him goodnight bring him a pillow and a blanket to the sofa, head to my bedroom and shut my bedroom door as though Todd was not present. Craziest thing ~ Todd continued to return to my house night after night, week after week, allowed me to have sex with him before he crashed on my sofa before falling asleep. To make matters worse, Todd corresponded with me during the daytime as though we had the perfect relationship. Todd acted as if the couch issue was not in effect. One day after our sexual encounter, I said good night to Todd and as he took the pillow and positioned himself to lay on my sofa I said to him Why are you doing this to yourself? Don’t you have a bed at your house? I know you have a house somewhere. Why don’t you go home? Todd simply looked at me with a pitiful look as though he wanted me to feel remorseful for him, and he laid down, pulled the covers over himself and went to sleep. And at some point, I actually started to feel a sense of remorse, but I realized I had to harden my heart if I wanted the truth. In order to avoid getting played as the saying goes and possibly heartbroken I had to remove my emotions from the situation. I realized Todd was holding on to the truth for dear life and had refused to give it to me regardless of what I threw at him. I then realized the truth had to be something huge. I knew the truth had to be such a big deal that he would rather be uncomfortable with my bearable actions versus giving me the truth. And I say bearable because the discomfort I was dishing out to Todd just so he could feel the heat and come forward with the truth seemed worth it for him. Huge red flag ~ I realized Todd’s truth had to be a scandal; a juicy one, and I just had to get to it. His attempts to keep it hidden alerted me a great deal. My plan to have Todd hand me the truth or leave me alone backfired and was quickly malfunctioning. I figured since he was putting up with my new-found behavior and welcomed sleeping on my sofa, it was time to take it up a notch. So after I got disgusted of hearing Todd’s story about his living arrangement, one Sunday afternoon, my girlfriends and I were driving around town and we decided to make a surprise visit to his house. You see, about 3 months into the relationship after I got tired of Todd repeating to me that he lived with his aunt and she did not like guests, I decided to take a peek at his driver’s license while he was in my shower. I copied down the address and kept it in my purse for possible future use. That future use arrived 15 months later. It was now time to get the truth on my own. I figured since Todd did not feel obliged to provide me the truth, I was going to take it my way and on my terms. My girlfriends were ready and off we went to the address listed on Todd’s driver’s license. We came upon a nice-looking house and I got out and rang the doorbell. A woman a bit older than I was, came to the door. You could tell she was a bit perturbed by my request and possibly curious to know my identity. But she did not ask any questions. Maybe it was a car filled with 4 women asking for Todd had her concerned and was probably the reason she did not approach me with anguish. She said Todd was not there. I could see that she was somewhat irate so I decided to reveal my identity. I told her that Todd and I had been dating each other for the past 18 months and he told me this was the address to where his aunt resided. Her brows raised in sheer confusion as though trying to digest the news she just heard. I told her that I wanted to drop off his last bit of clothing he had at my house because I was dumping him. She got curious which caused her to warm up a bit and then she let her defenses down. This was when she told me who she was. She was Todd’s wife and she showed me their two kids that were standing not too far off. Todd’s life revealed was a bit more than what I expected. An entire family and then some was involved. Speechless, I told his wife I had no idea he was married. She then invited us inside her house and it was the beginning of an end.

CHAPTER 1

WHAT IS THE TRUE MEANING OF LOVE?

Love—what is this simply complex 4-letter word and how does it impact us daily throughout life? There is a saying that you can care about someone without loving them, but you cannot love someone without caring about them. I have made this my philosophy in life and live passionately by it when it comes to love. I sometimes challenge it if a guy starts acting a bit gauche in the relationship – just to see how long the unbecoming behavior will last. Sometimes when we are upset with our lover/husband/wife/spouse we act a bit uncaring, but just long enough for the anger to wear off. However, if that uncaring behavior continues way beyond fight night then it is time to take a long hard look at your relationship. The ongoing and uncaring treatment meted out by your loved one is something that might cause your brows to protest in utter confusion. A friend of mine once said to me: If you have to ask your significant other ‘are we in a relationship or not?’ Chances are, you are probably not in a true relationship that is worth your time. Truth is, you spend or waste so much time and put so much effort into an already doomed relationship, that by the time it is dead and done, you are emotionally drained, mentally tired and psycho-physically worn out and frustrated with relationships. The University of Minnesota (2015) did a study on the importance of relationships and how much they greatly impact our health and lives. The essence of a relationship – or lack of one – has a great long-term bearing on the type of life we live, ie, how happily or how sadly we live out our lives. Their empirical studies showed that 148 people with strong social relationships showed a 50% lesser chance of dying prematurely. They also stated that the love and support from someone caring can provide a buffer against the effects of stress." Their research brought light to the significance of healthy relationships and how they play a part in somewhat molding us after finding the following:

Healthy relationships are a vital component of health and wellbeing. There is compelling evidence that strong relationships contribute to a long, healthy, and happy life. Conversely, the health risks from being alone or isolated in one’s life are comparable to the risks associated with cigarette smoking, blood pressure, and obesity.

Over time, studies and facts proved that unhealthy relationships lead to unhealthy choices in life which can drastically affect our quality of life as we stumble into yet another unhealthy relationship. This often occurs because, as we encounter unhealthy relationships, we experience the negative emotions of sadness and despair. To compensate for such deficit emotions, we may develop a nonchalant whatever type of attitude. If you have to continuously wonder why your significant other is putting you through anguish and hurt, then that person is not worthy of you. Why would someone who supposedly loves you, claim to want your best interest, put you through anguish, upset, melancholy and frustration? What is worse is their riding you on that emotional rollercoaster on a continuous basis. Why would he/she want to see you come to an emotional wreck? But the bigger question is: Why would you want to stick around in such a hazardous relationship? Think about it! He or she, the one you love claims to love you so much is responsible for your downfall and sadness in life. Why will that person deliberately and sometimes repeatedly, bring sadness to you, causing anguish and rift in the relationship over time? It would make absolutely no sense. Not if that person truly loved you. The bigger question is ~ why would you want to put up with someone who brings these negative elements into your life on a continuous basis? Why do you think you deserve their uncanny behavior, thereby allowing yourself to accept and put up with such? Do you have little love for yourself thereby allowing yourself to put up with such? Believe that you deserve better and you will accept nothing but better for yourselves before moving into a full-fledged relationship with anyone. This includes romantic relationships, relationships with family, friends or just casual. Thing is, there are a lot of selfish people in the world that we meet and have some sort of contact with. Sad truth is: many of them are in a relationship. Chances are, one of them is in a relationship with you. And he/she may never take into consideration that they need to treat you, their other half, the same way they want to be treated in the relationship – and nothing short of it! Love makes you want to see that person smile all the time. Their smile brings you a bliss and serenity that grasps your heart. Emotions emerge from the heart; hence, the reason that when love is involved, it reaches the heart. Therefore, everything you do with that person or for that person comes from the heart. You love hearing their laughter because it enlivens you. And it is quite the opposite when that loved one has had a bad day that brought them unhappiness. It is like seeing your child sad and you start crying. Your emotion tends to get all twisted and knotted up with theirs so you then become saddened and/or cry at that moment, depending on the situation at hand. It is the reason many ask that question do you really love me? if they experienced unemotional behavior from their loved one when certain matters arise. And this is a question we sometimes need to ask ourselves and loved one(s) that claimed to love us. Knowing the true answer to such can actually save us from a possible lifetime of disappointments and possible heartbreak. So carefully think about it. And this also pertains to friends and family members because sometimes, the people dearest to us who have known us, loved us, or should have loved us all our lives, can also purposely bring disappointment and mayhem to our lives on a continuous basis. Food for Thought ~ If someone who claims to love you continues to drive anguish, sadness, and mayhem into your life with no signs of braking or slowing down, then maybe it is time to take a different look at that person – maybe through your rear-view mirror. Exactly what quality of a person are you dealing with? It may be time to evaluate your relationship, clutch your self-esteem, and throw the gears in reverse. It may be time to walk away.

This profound emotion called Love is part of a dynamic team that includes ~ care, respect, and empathy. When you love someone, truly love them, you understand all that they encounter, whether happiness or sadness. When will some people get that Love is more than a convenient word? Love’s teammates support and empower her. Love is not a noun. Love is a caring, respectful, empathetic verb. Love is a giver. Love is our mother, for we are carried through out of love. It is what gives us hope and energy to evolve. You automatically feel special – really special – when love smiles warmly on you and patiently teaches you its true meaning; something Love does not share with everyone. True children of Love eventually come to the realization that Mother’s powers know no bounds and they, too, learn to communicate I love you – transcending human speech. Unfortunately, love and care do not always go together. They can also exist one without the other; yet one needs the other in order to survive its foundation. Love and caring clamp together, but caring and love can be miles or worlds apart. It can sometimes be easy to care without loving, but it is a lie to love without caring. Because when you love someone, you care about all of their beings, their daily living and existence, and all that they do. It is easy to empathize and sympathize with them. Maslow’s hierarchy of needs theologized that love is one of the basic — of ALL human NEEDS in order not to live, but survive. There is a fundamental difference between the two. He stated that ALL humans need a sense of belongingness. They need to belong to someone or something. And that someone can be a mother, father, uncle, aunt, grandparents, cousins, friend or just someone that they can relate to as a human, just to feel wanted, loved and know that they are worthy – of something, or someone. You have to feel a sense of worthiness to just survive; worthy to be talked to, worthy to be trusted, worthy to be honest to, worthy to be considered – or some other worthy consideration. These do not all need to be present, but at least one of them does. To all humans, this is normally expected for a regular existence. If the opportunity for this is taken away from us, the future outcome may easily be catastrophic. To be loved, in return, we learn to love. The lack of love denies us the ability or knowledge on how to love, which in return, can cause damage to any relationship that is experienced.

Being loved by someone is a boundless self-esteem booster because you feel better about yourself in almost all that you do. In some way, you feel like you were the piece to a puzzle that is now complete when your existence is wanted and sometimes needed. What will happen if no one wanted your input, thoughts or cared for your opinions? Depending on who you are, you may begin to feel a bit useless as per the length of the rejection(s) and the path your life stands on at the time. What happens when someone you love keeps pounding in your head like a migraine headache that you are useless when situations go wrong? Over time, you may actually start believing you are truly useless because their words may appear to be like a prophecy continuously coming true. This is especially so when your life seems caught in a whirlpool and everything appears to be going downhill, and you come to the startling realization that what the person has been saying to you is actually true. Their negative words and vibe get stuck on replay inside your mind. The negative aspects of your life magnified by your own insecurities and held in conjunction with negative, echoing vibes in your head may cause you to begin feeling unloved and uncared for. No one wants to experience that! Why would anyone want to put someone through such heartache, especially if they claim to love you?

What is worse than a loved-one showing continuous non-caring acts while claiming to love you? Not caring to say I’m sorry after doing or saying something stupid or hurtful, or when the fault is clearly their own. Someone who truly loves you will WANT to say or feel the urge to say I’m sorry, I was wrong or I apologize for my actions especially after being cognizant that they were in the wrong. Not stating these words after realizing they were in the wrong should clearly indicate that he or she does NOT care and, therefore, will NOT apologize for their incorrect actions. At the very least, they care more about their ego than they do about your feelings. Uncaring actions, coupled with a lack of caring actions leave you continuously wondering what the hell he or she really feels toward you. Doubt fosters insecurity, and insecurities eat holes in your relationship like termites on steroids. Renowned psychologist Abraham Maslow stressed the importance of focusing on the positive qualities in people, as opposed to treating them as a bag of symptoms. His theory on the hierarchy of needs came from a meticulous study of human behavior, spotlighting interactions encountered with and without love and the end-result from both trials. It is probably why the fatherless son sometimes turns to the streets and sells drugs or as equally worse, a man using his fists to dole out his version of love to his important lady, or why some of us spiral downhill at some point in our lives. It is probably the reason the parentless child grows up with little to no love in his/her heart for society and unleashes unimaginable cruelty in the world to things human and non-human. I am not saying this is the outcome 100% of the time, but it has proven to be the rule, not the exception.

The average person wants to experience a minimum level of love, care, concern, devotion, dedication, protection – but not obsession – from their partner. It is all part of being human; to feel such potent emotion that comforts you. Do not get it twisted for one moment that obsession is part of love. Obsession is a form of neurosis or psychosis that emerged from being uncomfortable with yourself. And I say uncomfortable with yourself because when dealing with such an emotional state, you somewhat feel that you are not worthy to accomplish what you have. And this is where lowered or lack of self-esteem comes into play. Unfortunately, when you have a lack of self-esteem, you believe you are not worthy so one of two things may happen. (1) You feel lucky to get whatever you get, so you hold onto that tyrant of a relationship with all your might, despite the unruly aura surrounding it. You also believe you cannot get anything else in the world to love you back, so you stay put. (2) When involved in a relationship, you believe you were lucky to get what you have, so you think to yourself you CANNOT lose that person and start exhibiting derogatory and deprived behaviors to the one person in your life you claim to love, continuously hurting them in the process. They sometimes do so by wanting that power to control their partner’s every move and knowing all of their whereabouts. Why? Some believe if they become aware of their partner’s every whereabouts, they can actually prevent them from cheating or leaving them. And you do so actually believing this is Love. To some degree, you feel as though you will lose whatever you have because you were not good enough to obtain it, to begin with. Hence, the reason you believed you were the lucky one when you got that person. And sometimes we may feel lucky to finally get that person’s attention and for them to say yes to us. We become elated because of their admiration for us and all we believe we can accomplish together as a couple because of their personality, character and who and what they stand for. But DO NOT feel so lucky that you believe that was the only person in the world that would have shown interest in you. It is that lack of self-esteem that causes malfunctioning thinking which is sufficient for some to unleash unhealthy behaviors towards their partner. For some, they somewhat feel threatened of being left alone by their loved one so their action proves anything but happiness, caring and empathy towards their partner. You must know this ~ Love will never by any means, control you or your whereabouts. If you feel controlled by your partner then you will never feel loved. If you feel controlled by your partner, then you are NOT loved by your partner, despite what they claim. To be controlled purports that person is in charge of your whereabouts including the time you leave their presence to when you return to them. To be controlled by your partner denotes that person is in charge of You. They know your whereabouts just so they know whose within your companion and what you are doing at all times. Nothing is more frustrating and stifling than having someone monitor you constantly. As an adult, you start to encounter an oppressed feeling and to some degree, you may begin to wonder why you are being treated like a child. Love will NEVER downgrade your character. Children get monitored because of their innocence and inexperienced life, so as parents or adults, it is our duty to monitor them to a degree just so we know they are safe wherever they are, or what they may be involved with. But for an adult who has already been exposed to life and its adventures, walked the adult path, encounter numerous life experiences where we sometimes learn and grow from them, only to have another adult monitor us, or as we say nowadays keep tabs, can easily become beyond overwhelming. And most times, the person who displays such behavior to another does not like to encounter such in their own lives. My friends~Love will never allow you to be controlled because it purports you have lost all control or say of yourself. You may feel stifled and flabbergasted which easily brings frustration. And frustration drives you to irateness emotionally. Fact: Irate is the opposite of happiness. And happiness is fostered from Love; So how is it you can become irate, yet call it love? Total madness. And madness confuses the brain and makes no sense ergo, being constantly irate is no part of love. Love lets you be free to be you and will never try to defile you. Love makes you happy and will never try to keep you from any type of happiness. Love will never try to prevent you from pursuing what makes you happy. Notice how Love and Happiness keep linking together. They unify, thereby causing the emotion to develop. Out of Love, happiness develops, but out of happiness love does not necessarily form. Please know the difference and do not get it confounded. Love definitely brings happiness; so if you are NOT happy in your relationship, someone within the relationship is not feeling the love or demonstrating love. Unfortunately, some people misconstrue their warped and selfish behavior and actions for love by sometimes trying to stunt their partner’s potential growth in life with the belief that once their partner is incapable, he or she will have no other choice but to be dependent on them, which in turn may prevent their partner from moving on with their lives, without that person. Some may do this to hinder their partner’s growth just so their significant other would have no choice but to rely on them as a means to keep that person in their lives. My friends, by no means this could be love. When true love caresses the relationship, both parties are delighted to be in each other’s presence. If only one party in the relationship is happy, then something is definitely absent from your relationship that will allow it to prosper. And a non-prosperous relationship will eventually crumble to pieces before becoming nonexistent.

Whenever someone tries to block you or prevent you from leaving them, it is their selfish way of saying they do not care if you are miserable in the relationship so long as they get what they want. It is also another way to show their level of love or respect for you, which