The Perfect Place: Where Hope Lives, Love Reigns and All Are Accepted.

By Juanita Dean

The Perfect Place

Where Hope Lives, Love Reigns, and All Are Accepted provides an honest look at the challenges caregivers face when caring for someone with dementia. In it you will meet several incredible individuals who, when faced with their loved ones dementia diagnosis, did all of the following: struggled, cried, laughed, prayed, and reached out to find help at a place called The Perfect Place

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Sep 14, 2017
• ISBN: 9781973600213

Juanita Dean

Juanita Dean is an American born artist and writer whose works are driven by story in whatever form or genre it takes. It was her personal experience as a caregiver to both of her parents as they battled cancer, and the lessons she learned while providing for them, that drew her to this project. In addition to her work as an abstract artist, Juanita has written two original, half hour comedy pilots for TV (on spec). A tribute to her belief that laughter is good for the soul even in the face of hardship. When not writing, painting, or cooking you can find Juanita (and her trusty suitcase) traveling all over the US as a freelance event coordinator, and always online @ instagram.com/carolinagirl_artist_writer Please, join her in supporting The Perfect Place and the caregivers they serve by becoming part of a loving and supportive community. To learn more about how you can help, visit www.the-perfect-place.org .

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Copyright © 2017 The Perfect Place.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

This book is a work of non-fiction. Unless otherwise noted, the author and the publisher make no explicit guarantees as to the accuracy of the information contained in this book and in some cases, names of people and places have been altered to protect their privacy.

Cover art by Carol Bowers.

WestBow Press

A Division of Thomas Nelson & Zondervan

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Bloomington, IN 47403

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

ISBN: 978-1-9736-0020-6 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-9736-0019-0 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-9736-0021-3 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2017913035

WestBow Press rev. date: 9/7/2017

CONTENTS

Introduction

Welcome To The Perfect Place

The Path Each Day

Chapter 1     The R Word

Chapter 2     Not The Man I Married

Chapter 3     In Search Of Kindness And Respect

Chapter 4     Precious Time

Chapter 5     Isolation

Safe To The Top

Chapter 6     Who Can I Trust?

A Perfect Place Profile

Chapter 7     The Magic Of Music

Ready Now

Chapter 8     Powerless

A Perfect Place Profile

Chapter 9     Engaging The Mind

Chapter 10   Grounded

Unexpected Happiness

Chapter 11   Be Prepared

Chapter 12   It Takes A Village

Blessed Tears

Chapter 13   Love Made Us Family

Chapter 14   Sisters

Chapter 15   A Lifelong Journey, Together

Chapter 16   The Interview

Hearts Treasures

Chapter 17   The Perfect Place: Our Story

Selected Resources

INTRODUCTION

W HAT DOES IT MEAN to be a caregiver? By definition it means: a person who gives help and protection to someone (such as a child, an elderly person, or someone who is sick.) The full definition (per Merriam-Webster Dictionary ) is a person who provides direct care (as for children, elderly people, or the chronically ill.) Sounds easy enough, right? Right.

I’ve been a caregiver half my life. As an only child, I was twenty-three when my father was diagnosed with Stage 4 metastatic lung and brain cancer; twenty-five when he died. At age thirty I received the call that my mother had been diagnosed with breast cancer; it would come back again nine years later. I’ve seen firsthand my mom’s struggle with caring for then losing her husband of twenty-eight years and I’ve faced a daughter’s reality of being the only one left to care for an ailing parent.

Don’t misunderstand. Scripture tells us to honor our father and mother and I have considered it to be a privilege to care for them during their time of need and would do it all over again if necessary. It’s just…well…nothing prepared me for the struggles and sacrifices I would have to make along the way.

It was my own experience as a caregiver that drew me to this project. Taking care of someone who has cancer, or any illness for that matter, is hard. But caring for someone with dementia comes with its own issues and difficulties. Not to mention there are several different types of dementia: Alzheimer’s (the most commonly known), Parkinson, Lewy body, and Wernicke-Korsakoff syndrome just to name a few. Each one comes with its own set of challenges, not just for the patient, but also for the loved ones who are caring for them.

That’s where The Perfect Place comes in. A faith-based adult day care located in Chandler, Arizona they offer a loving and nurturing environment for adults suffering from various forms of dementia; and a much-needed respite for their caregivers. I’ve spent the past two years interviewing caregivers, staff and volunteers for this book; the stories are uniquely theirs, told in individual vignettes with the common theme of what it’s like to care for someone with dementia. Some folks are identified, others asked that their names not be used.

You will also meet Hilda Morris, a 98 years young participant at The Perfect Place, who has graciously allowed us to include some of her beautiful poetry throughout this book.

This book provides an honest look at the challenges caregivers face when caring for someone with dementia. In it you will meet several incredible individuals who, when faced with their loved one’s dementia diagnosis, did all of the following: struggled, cried, laughed, prayed, and reached out to find help at a place called The Perfect Place. ~Juanita Dean

I lift my eyes to the hills—where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth. —Psalm 121:1–2

WELCOME TO THE PERFECT PLACE

T HROUGHOUT THIS BOOK, YOU will meet a few of the folks who make The Perfect Place so special. They are the staff and volunteers dedicated to providing a safe and loving environment for those who seek respite care. There is one name that you will hear over and over as her grace, kindness and compassion has touched so many lives: her name is Billie.

I was an Activity Director at The Perfect Place for many years; now I serve as a volunteer, Billie explained. "We have so many wonderful participants who come to us; we call them friends because they become part of our family.

"One day I noticed one of our gentlemen was looking at the 23rd Psalm that we have hanging on the wall. I walked him over to the tapestry and we began to read it together. ‘The Lord is my Shepherd…’ As we read it, he became emotional and teary eyed. We stood there for a moment before I