Nightfall to Daybreak

By Sally Walls

Never did it cross my mind that we would one day bury our child. But death, the cruel thief, came one evening and claimed him. And though the 'why' never leaves, hope finds its way through the long, dark night.
All loss is tragic no matter the circumstances. I shattered when Davis died. Life as I knew it was in many pieces. We all broke that night. Re-entry into a new life follows. It looks and feels very different. There are empty spaces. And horrible scars. But there is also unsurpassed beauty.
Stay alongside me through this love song for Davis. Feel its mournful yet gentle, encouraging tone. Every page composes a note in the movement of the song. May the music soothe you in your own circumstances and stir in you the desire to pursue the joy of daybreak.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Sally Walls
• Release date: Sep 13, 2017
• ISBN: 9781773029542

Book preview

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Copyright

Nightfall To Daybreak

Copyright © 2017 by Sally Walls

No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the author, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other non-commercial uses permitted by copyright law.

Tellwell Talent

www.tellwell.ca

ISBN

978-1-77302-953-5 (Paperback)

978-1-77302-954-2 (eBook)

All scripture quotations, unless indicated otherwise,

are from the Holy Bible, New International Version© (NIV©).

Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan Publishing House. All rights reserved.

Scriptures marked TLB are from The Living Bible (TLB), © 1971.

Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, IL 60189.

All rights reserved.

Scriptures marked MSG are from The Message (MSG).

Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002.

Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

Scriptures marked NASB are from the New American Standard Bible. Copyright © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995.

Used by permission of Lockman Foundation.

Scriptures marked NKJV are from the New King James Version ©.

Copyright © 1982. Used by permission by Thomas Nelson. All rights reserved.

In memory of Davis

July 18, 1988 – June 2, 2007

A son so loved

Dedicated to his wonderful father, Jim

And his amazing brother, Owen

Table of Contents

Preface

NIGHTFALL

DAYBREAK

Credit Notes

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Preface

Reflection: to think deeply and thoughtfully. To reflect during the pain of loss is vital to healing.

I care passionately about the storytelling. I chose to write my memoir and lament for my son in snapshot stories, succinctly and poetically, using as few words as possible. Like a reflection would be. A weary grieving mind cannot hold onto many words. A few encouraging sparks will light a fire.

This love song for our son, Davis, is written 10 years after his death. He was killed cycling home late one evening from his workplace. A night that would change our lives and community of friends forever. We are not alone. There are many others who are working through loss. Whether it comes suddenly or is a long good-bye, you can never fully prepare for it. All loss is tragic and painful. It should not be compared nor should it ever be diminished. You deserve the time and respect to grieve in your own way.

We have always extended the invitation to others to step into our story. I invite you into the pain. You will feel encouraged in the healing that follows suffering. And, if you suffer a little in the reading, you will gain deeper insight. Please read this love story slowly but from beginning to end.

Nightfall... the darkness in the 24-hr cycle. After the sun sets, the absence of light restricts much of what we can do. It is a time best spent resting and reflecting, waiting for a new day to dawn. Daybreak always follows.

I want to thank those who asked to be allowed in. Those who lost sleep and sat in the big questions with us. Those I love in the community of tears: a life partner and best friend in my husband Jim, a remarkably talented son, Owen, my supportive sister Barbara and her family, and the many friends who loved, protected and showed up for us during our sorrowing. Most notably, the gang at Centre Street Church, Jacqueline, Carol, Ruth, Chris, Val, Kerry, Rosemary, Gerry, Gen, Louise and John, Kayla, Lindsey, Dan, Arlene and John, Nola, Wendy, Mary and Randy, Heather and Doug, Kylee and Ben, Liz and Brian, Bruce, Maureen and Caron. Love so amazing. Life is healthier and richer because of you.

Thank you to Heather Holt, Bob Glasgow and Jacqueline Nadworny for reading my work, for encouragement and the helpful comments. I want to acknowledge the team at Tellwell Publishers. It is important to surround yourself with great people.

Mother Theresa says it best, I am a little pencil in the hand of a writing God, who is sending a love letter to the world.

... a statement of thanksgiving, for having been set free not from suffering but rather through suffering.

~ Francois Fenelon

NIGHTFALL

Part I

Leonidas…

The name came up often in our conversations during the last weeks of his life. Davis had seen the movie, 300, several times that month. He spoke of Leonidas as a leader possessing extreme courage in the face of death and his unwavering discipline to never retreat from battle. Did he have a premonition? Within the month, I would be in a desperate struggle to fight for my own emotional survival. His words would add to the powerful armour I would need each day for my march through the valley of the shadow of death. I would be giving up one of my sons, my brave Spartan warrior who had been alongside me all of his 18 years. I would need to move forward and not retreat. He was equipping me. He wanted me to know what courage looked like in the face of death.

I glanced at the colorful baby gifts in the rear-view mirror. It was quiet on the typically busy roadway. Midnight clears a lot of traffic. My friends had hosted a special evening for me. For us. I was eight months pregnant and it was my baby shower. Loving this child began at conception. My husband and I were ecstatic to welcome our long hoped-for child from the moment the pregnancy was confirmed. Our gift would soon be delivered.

As I approached a major intersection, there were no other cars in sight. I was envisioning a beautiful nursery with the many gifts I received. I felt an overwhelming gratitude that we would soon be parents. Joy-filled, thanking God for the child He was giving us and for the friends who would be significant in Baby’s life.

A high-speed, oncoming car appeared from nowhere. As I was passing through the intersection, it made a sudden left-hand turn in front of me. The scream of my brakes mixed with my screams to God. Then came the terrifying choreography of swerving and steering to a safe stop. I gasped for breath as I sat in the chaotic mix of baby bottles, blankets and tiny colorful outfits. Adrenaline rushed through my body. I opened my door and vomited. My head dropped against the wheel and I thanked God for delivering us. There were no eyewitnesses. We were alone.

The message was clear and one my heart would not forget: You and your baby were spared tonight.

I don’t have words to describe the joy when Davis was conceived. He