Beneath the Tapestry: Embracing Unsightly Beauty While You Await Your Masterpiece.

By Natalie Schram

Beneath the Tapestry devotional walks alongside hopeful adoptive parents and families through the process of adoption and beyond. Natalie Schram shares her family’s stories of completing their first home study, finding adoption experts to support them, walking through the tangled mess of fear and unknowns, battling through spiritual warfare, experiencing unsightly beauty, and navigating life after placement. Beneath the Tapestry shares many details of how God weaved four adoptions into the masterpieces that they are. It’s through these honest stories that many have found hope and healing.

Natalie shares how each adoption holds unique details all their own, but the universal characteristic in every adoption is that it comes from a broken place and therefore carries that brokenness with it. Beneath the Tapestry reveals as many details about the Schram’s adoption journeys as possible and in a very real, honest, unique, and vulnerable way. Natalie Schram draws you in and speaks to you directly. You will feel as if you are in an actual conversation with her. You will be guided and supported through scripture, real life stories, and prayer as Natalie teaches you to love and live selflessly through the process.

Journeying through adoption four times has allowed the Schram family the joy of growing deeper in Christ while seeking God’s Will for expanding their family. Beneath the Tapestry goes beyond offering support during the adoption journey and seeks to reach the heart of the reader. Through Beneath the Tapestry Natalie’s hopeful prayer is for each reader to seek a deeper relationship with Christ, grow in their faith, and learn how to love and support others selflessly, in the midst of their journey

 

• Language: English
• Publisher: Thomas Nelson
• Release date: May 14, 2019
• ISBN: 9781400324460

Natalie Schram

Natalie Schram is a wife of seventeen years and a mother of six children, living outside Nashville, TN. Her passions for ethical adoptions, first family support, and individuals with special needs align with her strong pro-life convictions. Natalie enjoys cooking, worshipping with her church family, encouraging others, and playing family games around the dinner table. With a desire to raise children who love the Lord, Natalie prays her children seek God always and love others selflessly.

Book preview

Introduction

Beneath the Tapestry was born out of a desire God placed in my heart to love and support others as they enter into the journey of adoption.

Going through four adoptions ourselves, my husband and I found tons of the don’ts and many of the do’s. I won’t claim to be an expert, but I am an adoptive mom who loves and seeks God with all my heart and I’ve also been called to walk this journey multiple times.

Each one of our adoptions has its own unique story with great joys, heartaches, struggles, and time frames. No two were identical, yet they all produced a miracle!

My hope is to walk alongside you, through this devotional, as you wait under your tapestry. Lord willing, you’ll embrace these next seven weeks as you read these stories and God’s mighty Word. My ultimate prayer is that they comfort you until your masterpiece is revealed.

WEEK ONE

INTRODUCTION

Exuberance, Excitement, Joy

A Perfect Picture from Beneath the Tapestry…or Not!

Breathe in, breathe out, eek! Breathe in, breathe out, woohoo! Breathe in, breathe out, phew! This might be what your mantra sounds like right about now. This was me, the day I called a local adoption agency. Days of preparing what I was going to say turned into a ten-minute phone conversation that led to a scheduled appointment to meet in person. Our intention for this appointment was to fill out an application to start our first adoption journey. (Spoiler alert: we did.)

Seemed easy enough, I thought. But looking back, I was honestly clueless. I had a mental list of expectations and each one got thrown out the window or altered—drastically! I had a picture of what I thought adoption was, only to realize I’d still be defining and drawing that picture five years later. I was so full of joy, hope, and excitement. Pure exuberance! Nothing was going to knock me off cloud nine! I was wrong!

While many of my expectations were tossed away like yesterday’s garbage, I’m thankful they were. You see, I’m no longer under the tapestry. I see God’s living and breathing design each time I kiss my children. I finally see it with every laugh, tear, smile, and whine (being realistic here), and you will, too…eventually.

This week, I’ll share how our adoption journey looked in those first few weeks. I’ll be as open as I can while I share how I surrendered my expectations over to God. My prayer is for you to avoid unnecessary bumps along this journey. May you experience joy and peace as you watch God weave the first stitches of your tapestry.

WEEK ONE

DAY ONE

Istill remember the excitement, joy, nervousness, and utter fear as we pulled into the parking lot. I know I took several deep breaths before exiting the car with my husband. We were both so naive, so full of hope, so unprepared, and so ready! We entered the brick office building and immediately stepped into a warm and inviting foyer. An unfamiliar face with a very familiar voice greeted us; it was Stephanie, the lady I had spent that whole ten minutes with on the phone. What a relief; she was already awesome. I just knew it!

Phew! Now I had a face to put with the voice. I could feel my nerves and excitement jump up and down in a rhythmic dance. Calmness would brush over me one moment, right before the feeling of I want to barf would creep in. We walked into Stephanie’s office and sat in the well-appointed chairs right in front of her desk. Framed pictures of children dominated her desk, walls, and even the shelves. Yes! I thought to myself. She’s exactly who we need. In no time, our child’s picture will be in a frame hanging on her wall. Shivers shot down my spine as I finished that thought. Then fifteen minutes in, fear poked its nasty head into the mix and I was ready to walk out. Why am I going through full-blown hormonal emotions as if I’m experiencing puberty or menopause, right down to the hot flashes!? Deep breaths! I kept telling myself. Deep breaths!

Wow! What a rush of emotions. Five minutes in and I was ready to trek all the way to the Congo for a child I didn’t know yet. Fifteen minutes in and I was on the verge of jumping ship and hightailing it out of there. Adoption wasn’t supposed to start out like this. It was supposed to be easier than this. Full of joy, excitement, and exuberance… Right? I found out quickly that I was in for way more than I originally thought. (Insert deer-in-the-headlights look.)

I survived those first several minutes of I’m going to barf and entered into a good place, a calm place. Looking back, though, I wish I had done it better. Why didn’t I start that day, that car ride, that moment before I entered the agency, intentionally in God’s Word and in prayer?

If you are in the beginning stages of adoption, do yourself a favor and meditate on the following verses. Pray over these powerful words and keep them close as you navigate your first steps. Don’t forget to let go of some of those initial expectations you have. God wants to be the one to guide you, so loosen the grip on your plans and hold tightly to His hand.

If you’ve already taken the first several steps into your adoption journey, use these verses as further encouragement. Share them with a friend who is thinking of adoption, just getting started, or one who needs support.

PHILIPPIANS 1:20, NLT

For I fully expect and hope that I will never be ashamed, but that I will continue to be bold for Christ, as I have been in the past. And I trust that my life will bring honor to Christ, whether I live or die.

PSALM 31:3, HCSB

For You are my rock and my fortress; You lead and guide me because of Your name.

JOHN 14:27, HCSB

Peace I leave with you. My peace I give to you.

I do not give to you as the world gives.

Your heart must not be troubled or fearful.

How is God speaking to you through His written Word?

[Your Response Here]

How can you apply these verses to your adoption journey?

[Your Response Here]

WEEK ONE

DAY TWO

Stephanie finished her initial introduction with an apology… Uh-oh! What? Why? She went on to say that one of her expectant mothers called with a need and desire to meet with her, so she had to cancel our meeting. My first thought was, If we walk out of here, will we actually come back or just forget about the whole thing? Did God really call us to adoption? If so, then why was this happening?

Stephanie rose from her desk and asked us to follow her. She led us down a hallway into a different office and introduced us to Cindy, another social worker within the agency who was completely free to meet with us instead. Yahoo! We were going to do this, no turning back! A complete peace came over me as we sat down to talk about why we were there.

My husband and I began by expressing our desire to adopt. I talked about how this desire had been present since a very young age. I went on to explain how I had been very open with my husband at the beginning of our relationship and that adoption was something I felt God had placed on my heart. Cindy could tell we were very serious; but she had no idea how clueless we were… Neither did we.

After our serious introduction of ourselves to Cindy, we relaxed a little and began laughing, joking, sharing, and of course, asking more questions. We couldn’t contain our desire and excitement any longer, so we asked if we could fill out an application right then and there. We didn’t dare take it home to return later! So we sat quietly over the next hour or so, only stopping to make a silly joke or comment about an answer we were writing down.

Peace never left my side, calmness consumed me, excitement and joy abounded. All in the midst of unknowns, when fear could have easily taken over. I didn’t freak out or question why Stephanie couldn’t meet with us. After all, the expectant mother who called to meet with her could be our expectant mother one day. I wouldn’t want her without the support she needed, so why would I want another family’s expectant mother unsupported? It just made sense and God allowed me to see that. He gave me a love, understanding, and concern for expectant mothers and birth mothers in that moment.

I see how God took what could have been a scary moment and turned it into a place of peace, trust, and learning. I knew, without a doubt, God wanted us in that office on that exact day and He was going to see us through.

Adoption rocks! There’s really no other way to describe it, but every single adoption has its own unique ups and downs. Don’t go into this journey expecting a perfectly smooth ride on the straightest path possible. Approach this adventure with eyes wide open, hearts prepared, and your mind set on Him. When the unexpected happens, hold fast to God’s promises. Trust Him to guide you through. He’ll never leave you, I promise!

PSALM 84:11, HCSB

For the Lord God is a sun and shield

The Lord gives grace and glory;

He does not withhold the good

from those who live with integrity

COLOSSIANS 3:15, HCSB

And let the peace of the Messiah, to which you were also called in one body, control your hearts. Be thankful.

PROVERBS 3:5–6, HCSB

Trust in the Lord with all your heart,

and do not rely on your own understanding;

think about Him in all your ways,

and He will guide you on the right paths

When you face your first unexpected bump in the road, how can these verses help guide you?

[Your Response Here]

What is God revealing to you about trust, peace, and reliance on Him through these words?

[Your Response Here]

WEEK ONE

DAY THREE

Just as my husband and I were finishing up our application, Stephanie walked in. There was a smile on her face, but it was mixed with a slight look of guilt. Stephanie went on to say that the expectant mother never showed up and she had been listening to us talk, laugh, and share our story the whole time. She wanted to remind us that she had been the one to talk to me on the phone and schedule an appointment in the first place. If we wanted to continue our journey with her, she wanted us to know that she wanted that, too.

We joked that Stephanie only wanted us because we were fun. She didn’t deny that part but said she had never wanted to pass us off to another social worker to begin with. The fact that we were a fun couple was a bonus! God… You did it! My heart was set on having Stephanie walk alongside us through our adoption, and He made that happen. I didn’t get upset or panic when I thought that reality was slipping away; instead I chose to trust Him.

I guess I could also attribute some of Stephanie’s return to my husband…

This is where I brag, just a bit. I married way up in the personality department. My husband (Austen) is just super fun! He has a great sense of humor, he’s the biggest teddy bear, he loves to make anyone smile, and he has a huge heart. Me… Well, I’m most comfortable being the wallflower. I can be notoriously shy, unless I know you or its work, adoption, or special-needs related. I prefer small groups to big crowds and crave intimate relationships over surface-level banter. I’ll take a handful of true friends whom I can pour into, over dozens of acquaintances. It’s always my husband’s personality that gets us noticed, and that day in that office, I was especially thankful for him. Austen’s personality and heart shined that day! That big personality calmed my nerves, created laughter, and ultimately had Stephanie returning to ask us to consider working with her. Just like we had planned from the first call. That one day has led to an amazing relationship that’s five years and counting.

Having a spouse like mine is one of the reasons we’ve been able to adopt four times. His love, support, willingness, desire, and leadership have given me strength on days I didn’t know how I’d continue. We both want this, despite Austen continually saying, We’re done. (More on that later.)

We’ve never told God, No. We both seek God’s Will above ours. God’s been good to us!

God doesn’t want you to travel this journey alone. Aside from His guidance and ever-present help, He wants to provide community around you. One form of this would be a supportive spouse. If you are fortunate enough to have this, treasure it! Some of my closest friends, through adoption, are single mommas. I love my single-momma friends! I see and admire so many things about them. If you are single and diving into adoption, please find a community of people who can love you, support you, pray for you, and walk alongside you. One last time, God doesn’t want you traveling alone!

Take a few moments to think of your community. I like to call them my tribe. Make a mental list or write it down. Just make sure you dedicate some time to recognizing who God has placed in your life as a form of support. Go even further and tell them. Your husband, close friends, family, whoever they are. Tell them what they mean to you in this moment of your adoption journey. Be intentional and point out how you’ve been encouraged by them. Doing this will not only deepen your relationship, it’s possible it will also encourage them. I wish I had acknowledged my husband’s support more often than I expressed. Lifting up one another