Lines, Tears & Spirits

By Cormac G. McDermott BA MEconSc.

Lines, Tears & Spirits is a collection of twenty-four scenes. They are not a continuous storyline but start during spring 2015 and move chronologically throughout the rest of the year and into spring 2016. The vignettes involve ordinary people in everyday circumstances, and the author repeats most of the various characters in order for the readers to develop a friendly intimacy with them. The settings are ones that a lot of people will be able to relate to and provide a form of escapism as well as a good few laughs due to the punch lines of dry wit!

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse UK
• Release date: May 3, 2016
• ISBN: 9781524633318

Cormac G. McDermott BA MEconSc.

Cormac G. McDermott was born and lives in Dublin, Ireland. After completing primary and secondary school, he went on to third level education on a soccer scholarship at University College Dublin where he earned an honours Bachelor of Arts degree in economics during 1994 followed by a Masters degree in economic science a year later. He worked in insurance, banking, and asset management between 1996 and 2002. Cormac has been writing quite prolifically since 2003 and some of his previous published works include ‘Rather Fond of a Double Entendre’, ‘Look!..The Chuckle Book!’, ‘Cormo Schmormo’, ‘Skits Blitz’, ‘Scritti Is Witty’, ‘Love A Dub Dove’, ‘A Spree of Comedy’, ‘Dub Thy Neighbour’, and ‘Lines, Tears & Spirits’ which he has received very positive reviews for from The U.S. Review of Books.

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2016 Cormac G. McDermott, BA, MEconSc. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 04/30/2016

ISBN: 978-1-5246-3330-1 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5246-3331-8 (e)

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models,

and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Contents

Chapter 1 Comedy Sketches

Chapter 1

COMEDY SKETCHES

SCENE FROM A STREET - ERIC HAS BUMPED INTO GRAHAM.

ERIC: ‘Story, Graham. How have you been keeping mate?’

GRAHAM: ‘Ah, I’m grand thanks. And yourself?’

ERIC: ‘Nothing strange or wonderful with me’.

GRAHAM: ‘That’s good. Where are ya off to now?’

ERIC: ‘I’m just on my way down to the interior design place that only opened up during the week in the shopping precinct’.

GRAHAM: ‘Are ya going to get a job done in your gaff or something?’

ERIC: ‘Yeah. My bathroom suite needs replacing’.

GRAHAM: ‘They’ll be delighted to get the trade having only been there a few days’.

ERIC: ‘I know. I was in with them yesterday. When I told them what I wanted, they were totally made up’.

GRAHAM: ‘Even more ‘made up’ than Eighties new romantic dolly birds telling fictitious stories?’!

ERIC: ‘Woh! Bahahaha! Yeah, you could put it that way alright’!

SCENE FROM A STREET - BUZZ AND JAMMY ARE CHATTING.

BUZZ: ‘Here’s all the kids coming out of school’.

JAMMY: ‘They’re off for two weeks now, aren’t they?’

BUZZ: ‘Yeah, their Easter break. Look there’s the young fella from next door. He’s a tear-away but not a bad kid, just a little wild’.

JAMMY: ‘Maybe his parents have spotted it and discipline him in their own way, ey?’

BUZZ: ‘Mmm, possibly. They’re lovely people. I just hope the dad isn’t too soft’.

JAMMY: ‘Maybe his teachers keep him and all the others in check’.

BUZZ: ‘Funny. We never thought anything of our behaviour and attitudes when we were that age but now I understand why adults stick up for older people. Looking back the discipline was a good thing’.

JAMMY: ‘True. But I tell ya, I remember when I was in secondary and we had a French economics teacher. B*stard he was’.

BUZZ: ‘Oh, I remember who you’re talking about. I was in Mr. O’Hare’s class. Have to say I didn’t envy you having him’.

JAMMY: ‘I know. He was so strict, he’d make indoctrinated ‘Come Dancing’ in an army outfit look like ‘laissez faire, laissez passer’ personified’!

SCENE FROM A FRONT GARDEN - JOHN IS MOWING HIS LAWN.

MAXI: ‘Hey there, John’.

JOHN STOPS THE MOWER.

JOHN: ‘Alright, Maxi. Grand day out, ey?’

MAXI: ‘It sure is. This must be the first time you’ve had to cut the grass since last Autumn’.

JOHN: ‘Yeah, you’re right’.

A YOUNG GUY WITH A SATCHEL WALKS BY AND HANDS JOHN A LEAFLET. JOHN OPENS IT UP.

MAXI: ‘What’s it all about?’

JOHN: ‘Ah, it’s just a local protest movement’.

MAXI: ‘I suppose it’s in relation to these new taxes, ey?’

JOHN: ‘Spot on mate. Here, take a look’.

JOHN HANDS MAXI THE LEAFLET.

MAXI: ‘’Communities Against Water Charges’ is their name’.

JOHN: ‘Or ‘CAWC’ for short’.

MAXI: ‘Sounds like what people from Drogheda call the Rebel County’!

JOHN: