Heartful Permission: Nurturing Guidance for Returning Home

By Gurpreet Sandhu

Everything is so opposite.

I was just seeing how different the inner world is from the outer world.

In the inner worldif you see any angeryou just show your love.

If you see any kind of poweryou become powerless.

You see any bignessyou become small.

If you see any thiefyou give your keys.

If there is something closed inside of youyou just stand there as it is.

Everything is so opposite.

You see something speedy insideyou just be in the restfulness.

You do not need any kind of tool to live this handless way.

If any part is fightingyou completely lay your head down.

Then the treasure is there, but you do not need to look after it. Th en the power is there, but you do not need it. The knowledge is there, but you are not thirsty anymore. The source is there, but you do not want that ending.

And this is where you just wonder, is it beginning or ending? Is it living or dying? Is it everything or nothing? You just wonder, is there more to give or to receive?

Gurpreet

In Heartful Permission, Gurpreet off ers a collection of her open talks from 2014, which are transcribed in book format by volunteers. She reminds us of the path of awakening and the significance of having an incarnate teacher.

• Language: English
• Publisher: iUniverse
• Release date: Aug 12, 2016
• ISBN: 9781532000065

Gurpreet Sandhu

Gurpreet’s uncompromising commitment to truth is itself her greatest teaching. With endless patience, undeniable love and unlimited acceptance, she, by example, leads us to the true way of being. Gurpreet lives and teaches in Vernon, British Columbia, and travels internationally offering her gentle invitation for all to open to the truth within.  Visit Gurpreet at www.awakeningwithgurpreet.com

Book preview

Feelings

I want to say a little bit about feelings. People give so much importance to how they feel because this is what they have been living with and it seems so natural, real, and normal. The person gives importance to how I feel and how I think, and that depends on the person’s personality. Some people give more importance to their feelings, and some give a little less. Still, the basis of giving importance to feelings is they’re in almost everyone. It is not that there is something bad about feelings; it is about how the person is being in the feelings. That is not about cutting something from yourself, thinking, I am feeling this, and it is not good, and I should be different. In a simple way, it is just recognizing the feelings are there.

Sometimes the person feels so good, and sometimes the person feels the extreme opposite, so bad. Both are feelings, but because of the personalness and familiarity, the person has come to rely on the feelings as well as the results of those feelings. Sometimes when the person feels good, he or she will say, This is true; it is right. This is the way it should be. And when the person does not feel good, he or she will say, This is bad. This is not the way I should be. What was there to begin with is just feelings. So after recognizing those feelings, the person easily begins to be impersonal about them. It’s not that you have to be immune or insensitive about them, but as soon as you begin to recognize that these are just feelings, you do not go up and down with good and bad feelings.

The feelings are still there, but now the person is not giving that much importance to them. Anything people give importance to really blocks them from their own selves. Some people are more sensitive, and some are less sensitive, but still the feelings are there in everyone. It is okay to be feelable and touchable, but begin to recognize that these are just feelings. Then you have a little crack between you and the feelings, and your attention does not go outward that much.

If you rely on the feelings, you will always think about them, and the thinking will always take you outward, thinking about good and bad and how you should or should not be. In the beginning it was a simple little thing, but now it becomes complicated. It becomes This is who I am. This is not who you are. These are just feelings, and you are in a physical body that is feelable and touchable. It is okay. It makes a huge difference in people when they begin to recognize their feelings.

I Know

You need to begin to recognize the part of you that says, I know. You believe in I know. If you keep believing in I know, you are going to make it real. In order to go beyond the I know, simply see it and do not touch it. When you do not touch it, you are actually falling into I do not know, and that is much truer. To begin with, you choose not to participate in that created I know.

When you believe I know, this is what some people call ego. That is not the reality. Maybe you hear something from someone or you believe something from your own self, and you stay in there and hold it. This is what I know means. In reality you are going into I actually do not know. When you begin to realize that I do not actually know, in a true way it is unbearable. That alone makes you smaller and free in so many ways. In this freeing, you are learning little by little how to be in that state. In your inner state, your inner beingness keeps changing, as you are not participating in what you believe.

You choose. You choose not to participate in it for your own freedom. Otherwise, it is about being comfortable in the conversation and you are not going to lose the I know part. In the beginning it is uncomfortable because you do not know how to relate outside of you anymore. This is how you are going to begin to trust your own self and that you do not understand. You simply know that I do not know. That is the first trust. Otherwise, as a person, you stay in the grip of the created self, the I know, and it is not letting you be free. You need to earn the freedom from the created self.

To begin with, you learn not to participate a little bit, and then you are going to see more. And then more and more you do not participate. You are not biting it and not making a big deal about it. You say, I need to have conversations to be in this worldly way too. I need to fake participating in it. But you do not know how you get caught in it. You cannot fake it because, from your side, you are still trying to keep the surface smooth. At the same time, however, you are lying to your own self, even when you are aware of it. This is how little by little the person learns to be in the little bit of whatever the person is landing in. It is not comfortable, but it is true even though it is so small, but it is.

Value of Coming

First, we will talk about the value of coming to the satsangs. It is really, really important to come. How you come, you figure that out, but just come. When you come, it is not about something you are going to get. It is not about something you take or want. It is about dropping. You are dropping your baggage. For some people, this baggage seems so real, but they also see that the baggage is actually exhausting them. So little by little, as you see, you are able to drop the baggage.

If you come to satsangs to take something or to feel good, you are not going to go too far. As long as you feel a little better, you are just going to run away from it. You keep seeing and dropping because the baggage is creating the unrealness. The baggage is driving you. You are not sitting in your own seat. When you are sitting in your own seat, it is so light and you are simply enjoying what is happening. Before this, you were so buried and so driven by what you were carrying.

The first step is to always make your way to come. Not in a big way. You just come in a small way. When you have the pull, just follow that. The pull is subtle, so sometimes in the beginning you have to make a conscious choice to come. But just come. That is the first thing, and if you do not understand, it is okay. You do not need to understand, even if you say, I do not get anything. Because, as I mentioned, it is not about getting anything; it is about dropping what you are holding.

Sometimes the person feels uncomfortable because of the familiarity of what he or she is holding on to, and that is okay. It is not something big. It is only discomfort.

You learn to come from the heartful way: from your heart, not I want to go or I should go. It is not like that. This (heart) is you, and you are forgetting about this because you are so covered up with your own issues, wants, needs, agendas, fear, and preferences. Little by little, learn how to give priority to this heart part. Once you begin to make the heart a priority, things will start happening according to the heart, but not before. Before, your mind still brings up the issues and anything to block the heart. The mind does not like the heart language because the mind does not get anything from it.

As you give preference to the heart and keep giving preference to the heart, regardless of what is happening in you, your mind is going to follow little by little, but not at first. This is why at first you are choosing. You are choosing not because of something but because of you. Because if you are healthy, you can live that way from that space. If you are thinking about reasons, then again you are outward. This (heart) is your love. If you love something so much, you make your ways. You still face the difficulties, and it is okay. Anything you make big, even the difficulties, really covers everything and blocks you from your own self. But if you see the difficulty the way it is, and you are not really making it big, you will be able to move beyond it.

The difficulties are going to come again and again, again and again. It is okay. Nothing is bigger than you, nothing. Who is making it big? Your own self. Learn to stay in this smallness and kindness where you are going to see it as it is. So this seeing, as you stay honest in it, is going to diminish in you, and then it will not actually be driving you. Everything helps. Worldly difficulties—mental, emotional, whatever difficulties a person has—are helping you to grow within in every single way as long as you are open to learn from them, for the higher choice within. The higher choice is the one that is going to stay with you.

Stay thirsty. Always stay thirsty for the higher choice. You are still doing whatever you are doing in your life, but now you are not making such a big deal about anything. You are just moving through everything. I always use the words be small, be kind, and be gentle with yourself, always.

It Is in the Little

The person always needs to look at the very little, little things instead of thinking about something big or wanting something big. When you want something big, you just keep missing it. The main reason that the person is missing something is because he or she does not want to look at the little things. The person believes, I do not have this, and I do not want this. I am different. And in so many ways, the person does believe this. During a simple conversation, the person thinks, I am not like that person. The person does not know that there is no reality in that because he or she really believes it. That is why, when you turn inward, you see a different picture of yourself. The little, little things are like the jealousy part. It is there in so many different ways, so many different ways. When somebody else is getting something, the person always makes judgments, thinking, Why not me? Why them? In so many different ways, the person jumps out instead of staying within. It is just a normal little thing, but sometimes the person bypasses it and is not aware of it.

So many times I see someone thinking that another person is getting something that he or she is not getting. Simply realize that something is irritating you. That irritation is going to show. Sometimes, as you begin to see yourself, you are really surprised to see the jealousy or the I want more attitude. This is because you do not believe you are like that, and it surprises you. As you turn toward yourself when somebody else is getting something, your heart is moving and being nurtured. That is ‘the real’ being poured on you too. Maybe somebody is getting something in worldly ways, but as you are being touched here (heart) and are being nurtured here (heart), you are also getting something.

This is something that is so simple, but in a way it is so big. It is too little what I am talking about, too little. We tell the kids, Do not be jealous; you should be happy when others are getting something. But as an adult, it is the same.

Begin to notice this so you do not feel you are missing out when someone else is getting. You are also getting. Even if you are irritated, just be aware. I am not saying to stop it and not do that. It is not about do not do. Just say, Yes, it is there. This is how you are going to learn this directness to the heart in so many different ways. In little, little things, just be more aware so you do not miss. Then everything will help you in such a big way to open your heart. When a person is sitting in the corner trying to open his or her heart but it is not working, it is because the person is looking for something big. That is why it is in the little.

See Your Beliefs

Let’s talk a little bit about perceptions and beliefs. So many times people perceive something and start to believe what they are perceiving. The person may say, I did not create it; it just came to me. It is so easy to get stuck in those perceptions. Sometimes it seems like they are so right, so good, and sometimes they are not. The mind only grabs what it likes because the mind always wants to believe something. The more the person starts believing them, the more the person starts perceiving them. As you continue in that rut of perceiving and believing, the perceptions can easily trick you. Sometimes you believe, This is so great; it is so good, and it guided me in so many ways. The thing is, sometimes it can click as right, but most of the time it does not. This is why you cannot really rely only on perceptions because they guide you and misguide you.

This all depends on a person’s own purity, and that is why your purity is important first. You earn your purity through seeing. Begin to see your own beliefs about yourself. Begin to see your patterns, weaknesses, and desires—anything that is driving you. If greed is driving you, see that. Do not try to change it. Nothing needs to be changed in you first. You need to see it first. You learn how to be clear in your seeing. That is the first step of honesty. You are choosing to be with your own self.

Quickly trying to change yourself is you not liking what you are seeing and wanting to get rid of it. But then you are not going to see anymore because you have already started trying to kill some of your parts. When you are seeing you are not killing any parts. You are simply letting yourself see and staying honest; you do not need to change anything in you.

By not changing, you are going to experience some pain and discomfort. That is okay. It is not something big. Let yourself feel discomfort and pain for a little while. This only softens you. You will only be in there as long you allow yourself, and then little by little, you will be able to open up further. Seeing is very important. Staying in the seeing and staying honest in the seeing is another thing. A person is full of beliefs. One person may laugh at how someone else is stuck in a certain belief system. But the person does not know his or her own self and how much he or she has been affected by his or her own beliefs.

It is very tricky because you cannot see you. You can see others and how they are stuck. Seeing yourself is difficult but possible, as you keep your direction focused toward your own self. Your willingness has to be strong to see yourself in every way. Anything less than a fire-full willingness and you cannot, you cannot see you. It can be skipped so easily because what you are here, in your heart, is subtle and invisible. The mind is visible, but your own self is not visible. That is why, little by little, you are learning how to see. It does not happen overnight.

This is how you discover who you are. If it is just a mental exercise, you may think, Okay, I just want to see who I am, but you cannot. Even if you, like so many people, are sitting, meditating, and wanting to know who I am, you are not able to discover that way. You must have the qualities to discover. Without the qualities, the person is too weak and too shallow. As the person is going in one direction and another person says something about him or her, right away the person is affected. This is how weak the person is. Even if the person does not believe that he or she has been affected, the person already has been.

One lady who was learning here was at work one day, and her coworker asked her to do some work on a certain day because he believed that the date was a good sign. This lady said she laughed at him because she thought it was so silly to believe that the date was a lucky number. But as she was telling me, I said to her, Are you affected already? After a moment, she said, Yes I am. This is how tricky it is. This is what I am saying. The person is very weak because she does not have the qualities. When you have the qualities, you are so grounded in yourself that you do not easily get affected. The little, little things help in a big way. Begin to see your beliefs and you are going to see how much you are believing.

Attached to Fairness

When people begin to see their own selves, they may see that they are in the mode where it feels like I am not being treated in a fair way. Because they see that they are falling into this mode again and again, they immediately say, Okay, now that’s it. I do not need to stay in this anymore because this is unfair. When people are beginning to see their own selves, they are only seeing the surface. From the surface, they say, You know this, this, this. Do you see this? It is not fair. From the surface it looks that way. It is the perfect picture. It is not fair and they better get out.

But these people are forgetting to look further within. Instead of jumping out to fix the surface, see your own self. Stay deeper within and keep seeing your own self. On the surface, whether you are being treated in a fair way or an unfair way is not going to make much difference because when you return within, you are going to lose your attachment to the fairness. When you are still attached to that fairness, you are going up and down.

When you are detached from within, you see your issue, but there is not going to be an issue anymore because you are being disconnected from what you were calling fairness. Now the picture is going to be totally different. Before, you could not see the real picture. This is why a person keeps trying to change the surface, saying, I don’t think this is working. Then something else happens, and again the person thinks, This is not working. This is how the person keeps creating the narrowness within.

This is why I say when you see even a little bit of something within, stay there. Do not come out and try to fix the surface. If you come out too quickly to fix the surface, you are just jumping to conclusions from a little bit of seeing. When you return within, you will keep seeing you and keep seeing you. Keep seeing and seeing. Even if the arrow jumps out, saying, You know this person this or that, go back. When you go back within and continue to see and earn this detachment from inside, that is the real freedom. The freedom is not from outside of you or from thinking that somebody is going to free you or that your partner needs to give you the freedom. You are suffering from your own patterns and your own weaknesses. It is not about the other person. When you are being more detached within, you are going to see a very different picture at the surface.

Many people, when they first go into this, say, I do not get it. I do not understand. This is because the mind wants to understand first instead of letting your own self be in this first. This keeps you at the surface, in the shallow. Returning within and letting yourself be seen by you takes you much deeper. Just bear with whatever comes. If something is confusing or if distrust or an issue about fairness comes along, just see you and keep seeing you. Even if it seems like it is not working or it seems like there are no results, it is okay. Just trust. Stay there. Staying there is going to make you soften and make you smaller but not when you jump out. When you jump out, you are going to feel a little bit better temporarily, and that is all. If you are temporarily feeling good or feeling a little better, you are only staying at the surface and again you are disconnected from within.

Wanting

Everybody is familiar with worldly wants, and when the person turns his or her face or is somehow being introduced to this, there is another wanting—wanting to be one with or wanting to investigate who I am or wanting to meet God.