The Struggle Between the Robe and the Woman: Forty One Years of Celibacy, Fire Shut up in My Bones

By Leticia Rouser

This is about a woman who denied her desire to be loved by a man. She intentionally puts all the thoughts of being in a loving relationship behind the ministry. Her sole concentration is the robe, being pastor to the congregation. She preaches and teaches the word 24-7, on the job all day to give service to her church and membership. She made a vow of celibacy to God at age fourteenshe asked God to help her to hold out until her name was changed. Because of this vow, she did not date or prepare for life with a man. Her sole purpose was serving the kingdom. But in the middle of the night while the pastor was asleep, the woman woke up and wrote poetry. When the preacher was asleep, the woman would express her need to be held and her desire to be loved. Therefore, the struggle begins between the robe and the woman.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Jan 21, 2016
• ISBN: 9781514436790

Leticia Rouser

Dr. Reverend LT Leticia Rouser was born in New Orleans, Louisiana, to Beonville and Mary Rouser. She is the tenth child of twelve. Dr. Rouser has always had a close relationship with God; she gave her life to Jesus at the age of nine and was baptized. Educated in the New Orleans Public School System, she received a BA from Xavier University, a Certification A in paralegal studies from Tulane University, and a MDIV from New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary. She has pastored six churches and has been in ordained ministry for twenty-eight years. In 1996, Leticia was deferred a doctor of ministry. She served as a navy chaplain for almost eleven years, deployed with the Eleventh Marine Expeditionary Unit. She is the wife of Kelvin Thigpen and the mother of David, Zaye, Cathy, Pam, Rhonda, and Britany. She has eleven grandchildren and one great-grandson, Kylan, Kailee’s son. She honors spending time with family.

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Copyright © 2016 by Leticia Rouser.

Library of Congress Control Number:   2015921031

ISBN:      Hardcover      978-1-5144-3677-6

                Softcover        978-1-5144-3678-3

                eBook              978-1-5144-3679-0

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

Scripture quotations marked NLT are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2007. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc. Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved. Website

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Rev. date: 01/28/2016

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CONTENTS

A Letter to Him

I'm Living on the Edge

A Letter to Him

He Died

A Letter to Him

I Can't Go Back to Yesterday

I Thought

A Letter to Him

My Love Is Asleep

No One Can Love Me Long

He's a Part of Me

Be Still, My Broken Heart

A Letter to Him

He Is High on a Star

Superstar Blues

A Letter to Him

A Letter to Him

Delusion

Love Is Crazy

You're on My Mind

Prisoner of Love

Who Are You?

You're Not a Drive-Thru Window

A Letter to Him

Empty

Ditto

Part of You

Sweet Lips

Let It Be

I Move Toward You

A Letter to Him

Reserved Only for You

Inspired By My Thoughts of You in the Middle of the Night

My Body Cries Out

in the Middle of the Night

A Letter to Him

I Asked for Intimacy

I Can Feel You

Have You Ever Held Power Before?

I've Lain in the Arms of Love

A Letter to Him

HOW IT STARTED

This book it dedicated to my sister Gwendolyn Rouser Jones Smith. She inspired me to pray the prayer, Lord, help me to hold out until my name is change.

My sister was my mentor, my example, my image of Christ on earth. I wanted to do everything she did. One day, she came into the house frustrated from the pressing questions about boys her age; she ran into the bathroom and fell upon her knees. I peeped through the keyhole of the bathroom and heard her cry out to God, LORD, HELP ME TO HOLD OUT UNTIL MY NAME IS CHANGED! She stayed there for about an hour, crying before the Lord. I could not wait until she came out so that I could run into the bathroom and pray the same prayer. I did not realize what I was asking God for, but as I became older, I understood the journey to live holy before God.

My sister was eighteen years old, and I was fourteen. I asked God to move in my life so that I could live before his presence in a special way. This prayer took me through forty-one years of battles with the fire shut up in my bones. I prayed this prayer in 1973, and in 1977, I met Kelvin Ambrose Thigpen. We both were students at Xavier University. We started dating around 1977; he gave his life to Christ and was baptized. He laid the foundation for my life of celibacy; he was a saved man and treated me with the utmost respect. Because he taught me how a man should treat me, I was able to ward off those men who wanted me to put out before marriage. He was a perfect gentleman, sometimes too good to be true. In 1987, we went our