Daddy Please Know More Than Me: Questions Every Parent Has to Be Able to Answer

By Eric Thompson

One of the hazards of parenting is that our children might have questions that we dont have an answer to. That can be disastrous because our children expect us to know more than they do. Wrong answers can be worse than no answers because the child may have already decided what the right answer may be and is just checking to see if what they have already decided is correct. To come up with something less believable than what they have determined to be the truth tells the child they cant come to you for answers.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Jan 16, 2015
• ISBN: 9781503534230

Eric Thompson

Eric Thompson is an avid sports fan and dedicated contributing writer for the Daily Norseman, one of the most popular Vikings football blogs within SBNation.

Book preview

DADDY, AM I GOING TO DIE?

D addy, am I going to die?

I don’t know sweetheart. That isn’t something that I want to control.

Why not Daddy? You love me don’t you?

More than you could ever know.

Then why don’t you want to control that?

Because I might be greedy and try to keep you with me when it wouldn’t be good for you.

But you love me. Why wouldn’t it be good for me to stay with you?

Because as much as I love you; there is someone who loves you more. He will protect you in ways I never will be able to protect you. He can see to it that you are never hurt by anyone else or anything else. I can’t do that sweetheart. I would have tried to do that will all my heart, but I couldn’t do that.

Are you talking about God Daddy?

Yes, sweetheart.

But, if God loves us, why doesn’t He let us stay together and protect us here. He knows it will hurt you to have me leave and hurt me to have me leave.

Because He would have to harm all of life in order to do that. I can’t ask Him to do that.

Why would He have to harm all of life just to protect us daddy?

Remember when you wanted that doll for Christmas and I didn’t get it for you?

That was selfish Daddy. I know that now.

How did you learn that?

When I told you that you weren’t a good daddy because you didn’t get me the doll, you looked hurt. I didn’t want to hurt you Daddy. That was wrong.

Would you have learned that if you couldn’t have hurt me? Would you have known how much I loved you if I hadn’t shown it when you said that?

So we have to hurt each other in order to learn to love each other?

No dear; but, sometimes the love just doesn’t seem to come out until we see how much we hurt others by not loving.

But couldn’t God just make us all love one another and get rid of the hurt?

Then you still would have wanted the doll.

No Daddy! I would have loved you and not wanted the doll.

How would you have known that I was more important than the doll?

What do you mean Daddy?

We all have to learn what is important in life. Sometimes the lessons hurt us and those we love. Without the hurt, those lessons could not happen.

So hurting things isn’t always bad?

Oh, hurting things is always bad; but, learning is always good and sometimes we refuse to learn without doing something that hurts us.

Why is that Daddy? Wouldn’t we be smarter if we learned without hurting anyone?

That is why I won’t question God about taking you home to Him. He knows how to learn without hurting anyone. He will never hurt you.

But you wouldn’t hurt me either Daddy!

I did the day you told me I wasn’t a good daddy. Was that a bad thing?

No, I needed to learn not to be selfish.

And I need to learn not to be selfish too. I know that God can take better care of you than I can. As much as it hurts me to ever see you go, I know that it would be selfish to keep you here and make you hurt just to learn.

Won’t you miss me Daddy?

Will you miss me?

Of course I will!

Would you keep me here in pain just so we could be together?

No, that would be mean. What do I do Daddy?

Try to stay with me as long as you can, but know I will always love you and know that it doesn’t really matter how long we are together this time because we will be able to see each other again and we can stay together as long as we want the next time.

But we will have to wait.

Maybe that is the lesson that we have to learn that hurts us so much. We all want our dolls today and we need to learn not to want what is not as important as the people we already have. I would give up everything that I once thought was important just to keep you with me a few more days.

I’m sorry I hurt you Daddy.

Why do you think you hurt me?

Because you are crying.

You didn’t hurt me sweetheart. I am not as strong as you. If God does take you, maybe that is why. You are strong enough to have learned what I haven’t. I will always be proud of you and try to learn and live up to that lesson.

I love you Daddy.

I love you too sweetheart.

DADDY, AM I PRETTY?

D addy, am I pretty? Remember Daddy, you don’t like liars.

What good father wouldn’t think his daughter was pretty?

But am I pretty?

Am I good looking to you?

Of course you are!

Why?

Because I think you look good.

Does that mean the rest of the world will think I look good?

Maybe.

So we both think the ones we love look good; but, we can’t make sure the rest of the world will think either of us looks good. Do you see the problem?

I think you don’t want to answer my question.

I think answering your question would answer nothing you might want to know. Good fathers always think their daughters are beautiful. They will always think that way. The problem is that good fathers are not the ones who will end up making the decision that will convince their daughters that they are beautiful. In the end you will realize that Daddy loves you so much that he will always see you as beautiful and you will have to look for someone who doesn’t love you to make that decision.

I don’t understand Daddy. I think you don’t want to answer my question.

Daddy thinks you are pretty; but, Daddy thinks there are other things that make you so much more than pretty that Daddy does not wish to place any importance on being pretty.

Why? Isn’t pretty important?

Really bad people can be pretty and really good people might be considered homely. You are a good and intelligent person. Those are things you have to work on in order for them to remain the truth. Good looking people will be good looking with almost no work. They don’t have to strive to be something that is worthwhile. Most of them are born into their good fortune. I don’t want to look at you and see something that doesn’t mean anything to the world.

But being pretty does mean something to the world Daddy! Look at the television.

The television isn’t the world sweetheart. Not everyone in real life is pretty. Are all the girls at your school pretty?

No.

Do you think the ones that are pretty are the best people in the school?

Maybe.

And is that why you asked the question?

Maybe.

Well dear, you said Daddy doesn’t like liars and you are right. Daddy knows that as long as you look at pretty as being the way to measure someone’s value, you will be disappointed. You will throw away a lot of good friends and you will make a lot of good people feel bad. Pretty won’t make a person capable of jumping in the river to save you and pretty won’t make a person love you enough to even want to try to jump in the river. Pretty won’t ensure that the person will tell you the truth when you need to hear the truth and pretty doesn’t insure that the person will even know the truth. Pretty is a poor measure of value sweetheart. The truth is that Daddy loves you as a person that Daddy knows he can trust and a person that tries hard to do the right thing. Those things will always mean more to Daddy than how you look.

So I don’t have to be pretty?

You don’t have to be pretty to be something special to the world. No one knows how Jesus looked and he is still the most admired person in history. The people that history most admires are not the ones who appeared in movies or TV. They are the people who did the most to free the other people around them. Daddy isn’t saying you aren’t pretty or that you shouldn’t want to be pretty. I am simply saying that pretty will never be the way that I measure you as a person. Pretty won’t make you valuable to the world.

Then why do the pretty girls get so much attention?

For the same reason that gold and diamonds cost so much. Diamonds are just rocks sweetheart and gold is just another metal. They are not something that is easily found (so people have determined that they are valuable). Diamonds might make better cutting edges than other rocks and gold conducts electricity better than most other metals, but that is not what makes them valuable to most people. They simply see them as hard to get and that is a poor measure of what makes something valuable.

Why Daddy?

Because many deadly diseases are relatively rare, but who considers them valuable? Really destructive storms are rare, but who would want to be in one? Perhaps worst of all is who WOULD want to own those things. People who only wanted to hurt other people might want to own a storm or a disease. People who only want to make themselves more powerful than their neighbors would want to own something that could harm their neighbors. That is wrong sweetheart. That is the problem with many good looking people. They only want to be good looking so they can be better than their neighbors and that is wrong. Jesus said to help our neighbors and not make them feel bad or hurt them.

Do you like good looking people Daddy? It doesn’t sound like you do.

There is nothing wrong with being beautiful sweetheart as long as you complete the package. Beautiful means you are something special. You can’t be something special without making the people around you special too. Jesus is the most beautiful person who ever lived and there isn’t one real painting or picture of him. He might have been good looking or he might have been considered ugly; but, who cares?

I think I understand Daddy.

I knew you would. Daddy is proud of you because you are a good person who wants to do the right thing. That will always make you beautiful to Daddy and to God. Do you think you can be happy with that?

Don’t be silly Daddy.

Always the smart little girl.

DADDY, AM I SPECIAL?

D addy, am I special?

The little girl’s father took a deep breath and exhaled. This was the toughest question any father would ever answer. A wrong answer could mean a lifetime of wrong decisions.

You are special to me sweetheart.

I know I am special to you Daddy, but am I special to everybody else?

No one is special to everybody. Even God isn’t special to everyone.

OK, but how special am I?

As special as anyone else.

Daddy, you don’t think I’m special! You only think I am as special as everyone else.

I don’t want you to be more special than anyone else.

You’re not very nice Daddy!

I am not nice because I want you to be happy?

You are not nice because you don’t think your own daughter is special.

I said you were special to me. You are the greatest gift I have ever received and my greatest treasure. I won’t make my greatest treasure worth less by lying to it. Everyone is special sweetheart. They don’t have to be great artists or athletes to accomplish that. Presidents are special, but they are only special to those who value their positions. Special must mean that something has value and everyone has value. The value may vary by who you talk to, but everyone has value.

But you said I was your greatest treasure. That must mean you think I am more special.

To ME you are special. You didn’t want to know what I thought when you asked if you were special however. You wanted to know what everyone thought. I will not lie to you and tell you everyone thinks you are special. I don’t want you to think you need to be special to everyone. I want you to believe that everyone is special.

Why can’t I be more special?

Because it won’t make you happy.

Special people are happy Daddy.

Are they sweetheart? If they are happy, why do they need to be special?

Because being special makes them happy.

And if they are not special they would be unhappy. ‘Special’ is a trap sweetheart. It is something that claims it can make you happy (when you should be happy all the time). And while the trap of being special is closing in on you, it makes those around you think that you have something they don’t have. Now you lose some people as friends and even make some people enemies. I don’t want you to be special. I want you to be happy and happiness is being treasured (like I treasure you) by the most people possible. I don’t treasure you only because you are something everyone else can’t be. I treasure you because you love me and I love you. Love is diminished when ‘special’ means better than someone else. I won’t diminish you sweetheart.

’Diminished’?

Made less than. Love is less than special to those who seek to be better than someone else. They want to be better than the ones they should love and that makes those they should love less. No one wants to be less than.

Who would I make less than me if I were special?

Anyone who was not as special as you. In order to be more special, someone must be less special. That is the trap. We would all be happy if we recognized that we are not in a competition to be special. Then we would love one another (like you and I love each other) and everyone would be capable of being happy. Special only makes a few people happy and even they must maintain some sort of advantage over other people to remain happy. It is hard to be special when we get old and have to be better than those who are younger and more capable of doing the things that once made us think we were special. Then we will wish we had loved the world and made it love us (because love is never diminished by age).

Love is better than special?

Love is the only thing that is special. You know how I think that ‘Stumpy’ is special?

Because he isn’t like the other squirrels. He has a short tail.

And he has a humped back and he doesn’t run as fast. Would any of that make him ‘special’ (in a good way) if he were human?

No, he would be made fun of.

And that is why I love him. I see him trying to just survive and see him chased by the other squirrels and I get upset because he never did anything wrong. He just wants to survive and be loved like all the other squirrels. He can never be special by any other terms so I love him for the way I feel for him. Am I wrong to feel that way sweetheart? Should I insist he be quicker or more beautiful than the other squirrels in order to care about him?

No, that would be wrong. I don’t want to be special anymore Daddy.

There is nothing wrong with being special sweetheart. It is OK to be good at something as long as you use it as a way to make other people better. Special is a gift sweetheart. It is something that God gave you to make you able to help other people be better. When you have made them better you have used the gift like God intended and you will be loved and not envied. Stumpy will never be the envy of the squirrel kingdom; but, I love him because he has never given up and he inspires me to never give up.

He is special because you love him.

Just like you.

Thank you Daddy. I love you too.

DADDY, ARE WE FREE?

D addy, are we free?

That is probably the most important question you will ever ask me sweetheart. It is also a question that I can’t answer for you?

There is a question you can’t answer?

That I can’t answer ‘for you’. Each person must answer that question for themselves. The answer we decide on determines whether we will be free in this life or any other life. The answer we come up with also determines who we can live with (both in this life and in any other life). The answer will determine whether you allow yourself to be happy in any life. It is a question that is extremely important; but, I cannot make it for you.

You could tell me how to choose.

"Everything I tell you is about how to choose. In order to escape the problems of being young and inexperienced, we must all learn how to choose. The problem is that many of us become too concerned with whether we are ‘free’ when we