But I Love My Husband

By Kimberly Griffith Anderson

For Kori and Walton, marriage is great, for the most part. They are happy, fulfilled, and totally commited to one another. It is when they allow a houseguest into their home, that their small problems become magnified. This stress becomes most difficult to bear, and they wonder if prayer and commitment are enough to save their marriage.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Jul 3, 2014
• ISBN: 9781496913692

Kimberly Griffith Anderson

The author, Kimberly Griffith Anderson, resides in South Carolina. She is the mother of two sons, and is employed as an educator. She is a graduate of Clemson University. Besides writing, she loves nature, spending time with family and friends, and traveling. Please look for her other titles, Good Girl, Single Dad 19, But We're Not Married, A Girls' Guide to Abstinence, and A Guys' Guide to Abstinence. She promises even more to come.

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Prelude

Psalm 51: 1-12

¹Have mercy on me, O God,

according to your unfailing love;

according to your great compassion

blot out my transgressions.

²Wash away all my iniquity

and cleanse me from my sin.

³For I know my transgressions,

and my sin is always before me.

⁴Against you, you only, have I sinned

and done what is evil in your sight;

so you are right in your verdict

and justified when you judge.

⁵Surely I was sinful at birth,

sinful from the time my mother conceived me.

⁶Yet you desired faithfulness even in the womb;

you taught me wisdom in that secret place.

⁷Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean;

wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.

⁸Let me hear joy and gladness;

let the bones you have crushed rejoice.

⁹Hide your face from my sins

and blot out all my iniquity.

¹⁰Create in me a pure heart, O God,

and renew a steadfast spirit within me.

¹¹Do not cast me from your presence

or take your Holy Spirit from me.

¹²Restore to me the joy of your salvation

and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

In the End 1

It amazed Kori that she could still cook dinner with two babies at her feet. Miranda, Randi for short, was just starting to walk as she stood holding the leg of her mother’s stretch pants. Kori stood, sautéing mushrooms, celery, and onion to make a seasoned rice dish she had seen in a magazine. She had beef tips marinating in the refrigerator to serve over the brown rice with its special additives. She checked the clock over the oven to see if it was time to cook the meat. Walton would be home soon and he usually liked to go upstairs and change clothes before dinner. Wilson, almost four weeks-old, sat in his car seat carrier in front of the pantry. While it was a bit unnerving to have Randi grasping her leg, it was better than her new favorite pastime of rocking her baby brother. Being only fifteen months-old herself, she didn’t really understand the concept of a baby. She didn’t know how to be gentle. She could not babysit. She tried to give him her juice cup and her pacifier. She could say baby, but it would be a while before she learned to say Wilson.

Randi, briefly mesmerized by the door chime that meant her daddy was home, ran as fast as she could to greet him in the foyer. Walton lifted her from the floor, How’s my girl? Kori stood with her hand on her hip watching as Walton planted a kiss on his daughter’s cheek. He walked over to her and embraced her waist with his free hand, then kissed her lips. Wilson excitedly kicked his feet in his footie pajamas as his dad approached. And how’s my big boy, today? Walton kneeled in front of the baby.

Back at the stove, Kori responded. He’s been okay. Everyday, it seems, he sleeps a little less. And he’s been a little fussy too. Randi keeps trying to give him her paci; I’m about ready to pop that little hand of hers.

Walton stood behind his wife brushing against her backside. And how’s my favorite girl? He kissed her cheek. You holding up alright?

She sighed, I guess. How was class?

It was good. Got my paper turned in… thanks for staying up to proof it for me. I got it all fixed up soon as I got to work this morning. He was holding Randi and touching Wilson’s feet.

Good for you! Walt, I’m ready to reinstate our date night. I miss that. I need it. We’ve taken time off for having babies, and I know we said we would wait until you finished the semester, but I really need it. I already called Janine. She and James will come over around eight.

Eight tonight?

Yes. I told her just for an hour or so. I just need to get out for a little while. She kept stirring, Oh, and we’re back in the Sunday School leadership rotation. Guess who’s teaching Sunday?

Hmmm, let me guess. You and me?

Yep, she said still stirring, but smiling and looking at him now holding both children.

Well, that’ll be good. We’ll be ready. Okay, so you’re feeling pretty good!

Yeah, ain’t no need in sitting around, might as well push myself a little. If I sit too long, I’ll get comfortable, she said as she closed the refrigerator door.

He sighed, Where are we going tonight?

I don’t know. Maybe get some dessert… just out… just us!

Well, let me go change. Walton carried Randi and Wilson in his arms upstairs to change out of his suit from work.

I don’t know how working mothers do it. Walt practically had to make me resign, but he was right… two babies in two years, two C-sections, pumping milk, I would be crazy if I had to do all of this and try to make it to work in the morning. Lord, thank you for that man. He’s always looking out for me. It’s like he sees the world with a wider lens than me, ‘cause he knows what’s good for me when I don’t even know.

She was preparing Walton’s plate when he walked back into the kitchen. He took his salad bowl over to the table, set it down, and fastened Randi in her high chair, and strapped Wilson in his carrier seat over next to the table. He then went back to help Kori bring everything else over to the table. Finally, once everyone was settled, Kori asked her husband, How was your day?

Uh, pretty good, a school group came through today, and I had to speak to them. They don’t usually start those fieldtrips until later in the year. Worried me a little, from the questions the teachers asked, I didn’t get the idea they knew anything about nuclear power, themselves.

Kori smiled, What did they ask?

Now… I’m used to getting some dumb questions from the kids, but this woman today asked if using the electricity in her house that was made at the nuclear power plant carried any danger of radiation for her. He squinted his eyes as he looked at his wife, What? That’s dumb! Ain’t no uranium running through the power lines… she needs to go back to square one and look at this process. He shook his head and put a forkful of food into his mouth.

Kori smirked, That doesn’t sound too dumb to me! I mean… y’all do work with uranium…

Come on now, I’ve explained this to you before. I’v been working in this industry for almost twenty years, and you’re still not sure how the process works! I went over this before, remember the uranium is split, the water is heated, the steam, the turbine… right?

Yeah, I remember, she ate a bite of food.

Randi dropped her sippy cup and he reached to pick it up for her. No, you don’t… I’ll sketch it out for you later on. What did you do today?

Well, we went over to the mall for a little walk.

Kori, you drove? This ain’t week six, you’re not supposed to be driving!

I know, but Walt, I can’t stay in this house all day!

Alright now… hard head makes soft what?

She smiled, sheepishly with guilt.

After dinner, Walton sat downstairs with the children feeding Wilson a bottle of milk Kori had pumped. Randi played with her singing train. Kori headed upstairs to dress for her first date night in months. They alternated Thursday date nights with her sister Janine and her husband James. Kori and Walton went out on the second and fourth Thursday, and Janine and James went out on the first and third. She was glad to have moved to Winston-Salem six years ago. She was nearer to her sister, so they could see each other more often, and help with each other’s children, and when their mother was in town it was easier for everyone involved. They had found a nice church, had become involved as Sunday School leaders, and now Walton had decided to enter seminary school.

Kori showered then sat down to lotion her legs. She went back into the bathroom to check her stitches. They were in the process of dissolving, but they were still somewhat visible. She dried that area of her abdomen very well, as her doctor had advised. She was excited and she wanted to be very feminine tonight. She wanted to wear a short skirt with a thin top, but she knew her husband would protest. You don’t need to be out in that air with all that skin out, you just had surgery, he would say. She rolled her eyes thinking of the comment he made about the outfit she had chosen to wear to church last Sunday. She decided on a pair of dressy capris and a tank top, but she had a thin sweater that would cover her arms. She was slipping into her sandals when she heard the doorbell.

Janine and James were there with their daughters Reagan, who was almost a teenager, and their younger daughter Morgan. Kori hoped Randi would play for a while then soon be ready for bed. Wilson had not yet established a true bedtime, but she hoped both kids would be asleep when they returned so their date could be extended.

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At the restaurant, Kori and Walton sat in a corner booth, both on one side, sipping on chilled ginger ale in long-stem wine glasses. A male pianist played and sang background to a very tall female singer. Walton rested his arm over his wife’s shoulders and gently caressed her upper arm. The waiter brought their deserts, chocolate mousse pie for Walton and raspberry cheesecake for Kori. They each fed the other a sample of their dessert and talked quietly in the mellow mood of the music.

The next stop was the park. There was a small man-made body of water with colorful lights loosely strung across a wire. When the wind blew, the lights danced across the water’s ripples. Kori thought it was beautiful. They would walk the bridge hand-in-hand and talk or maybe just enjoy each other’s company in silent thought.

With their fingers laced together, they slowly walked the pathway, and a gentle breeze shifted the lights. Finally Walton spoke, You know, you don’t look like a forty-one year old.

It’s the lights, she grinned.

No, Babe, you don’t. You don’t look any older than you did the day I married you—the first time… when you were… twenty-seven… And I know I don’t look like I’m almost at the big five zero… he remarked, as if expecting her to laugh.

She let go of his hand and reached around behind his waist holding him close. You’re right, you’re sexy, with this new hard body you’ve got now since you started working out… and your salt and pepper hair… She nodded as she looked up into his eyes.

My hair looks good, doesn’t it? I keep telling you to stop putting all that color on yours. Let it be natural. It’s who you are. Be glad the good Lord spared your life this long.

True, but no sir. It might be sexy on you, but not on me. I’m not ready for the salt and pepper look. Who knows how white mine actually is… I’m scared to know, myself!

Honey, you’re beautiful regardless. We’ve been married, what… fourteen years?

Yeah, fifteen soon. Walt, for a while back then, in Charlotte, I didn’t think we would ever make it to this point. I was praying that we would, but in reality… I was really a mess! When I think back, I still can’t make sense of it. Why? How? My thought processes were just… and you—

Kori… he shook his head, I wasn’t letting you go without a fight, he pulled her close. I thought I needed to go ahead and enroll in a karate class, because you were… you were really trying me.

Yes, Babe, and that’s putting it lightly. We’ve grown a lot in the past few years. You’ve quit smoking, and I’ve… calmed down… prayer. That’s all it was, prayer and blessings, and honoring our commitment.

Yes, he replied.

And date night… God is good.

Yep, all the time!

Looking Back 2

Kori stood with her palms in the air and her eyes closed as the Spirit swayed her body to the rhythm resounded by the organist. Her dress swayed back and forth, cooling her legs like a gentle fan. The sanctuary was warm with the body heat of the people inside. Ask God! Ask God! Ask God! All you got to do is ask him! The preacher shouted. Kori knew his words to be true. She had formed a relationship with God many years ago, and as an adult this relationship was most important to her. She talked with God all the time. He was her everything. God was her alpha and omega, her confidant and comforter. She tapped her foot to the beat as she thanked God for his unyielding grace and love. She was thanking him for his forgiveness and his unwavering love—a love like no other. Most of the parishioners were standing at this point in the service, all expressing thanks to the Lord in their own personal way. Hands and arms were raised, some were praying aloud, some were in tears, and some were in an embrace.

Struggling not to remove his sportcoat in the humidity, Walton had instead unbuttoned it and pushed the flaps to the side. He sat with his legs wide, arms resting on his thighs and fingers laced around his wife’s Bible. He checked his watch. Sitting next to his wife, who was standing, he looked alternately from her, to the preacher, and around at others in the sanctuary. Using the folded bulletin, Walton fanned his face, then checked again for the time.

The organist, apparently feeling the Spirit himself, began a pulse that pounded as it grew louder and faster accenting every fourth beat. The music somehow elevated the mood of the large gathering to a new plateau. The organ pounded, the piano filled in, and the tambourine clanked as Pastor Greene looked over the crowd attempting to digest today’s message. Nearly everyone was standing by this time.

Amused, this was always his favorite part of the service, Walton laughed to himself as he looked around as more people reacted to what he deemed was the music. Tickled by this, Walton clapped loudly as he laughed, shook his head, then checked his watch. He desperately wanted to smoke. Many people were still standing and clapping and tapping their feet.

Is there anyone? Pastor Greene asked as the deacons relocated to the base of the pulpit, and the associate ministers stepped down to join them. Kori looked at her husband, who was still sitting down, and was about the only person still seated. She reached for his hand, but he did not reach for hers. She stared at him and he responded by checking his watch, licking his lips, then looking away. Is there anyone? Pastor Greene repeated the question with his arms outstretched towards the crowd. Please stand, and he motioned the same. Walton now stood next to his wife and put his arm around her waist. The preacher said a short prayer and everyone sang, Ahhhh-men.

Walton reached to pick up the program and his wife’s other papers, then stepped out into the aisle. He shook hands with a few people. Kori smiled big and hugged some people. She reached for her Bible as a firm surface, and dug inside her purse for a pen to take down a phone number. Walton nudged her arm to indicate that he was headed outside. There he shook a few more hands as he walked to the car. He pulled off his jacket, folded it lengthwise and laid it on the backseat. He cranked up and pulled out his cigarettes for a quick smoke before his wife joined him in the car. He took a long drag, held it, then exhaled slowly out the window. He had lowered all the windows so the air inside would be clear when Kori sat down. He took another pull, this one slower than the last and laid his head on the headrest momentarily before he exhaled. He heard her laugh as she spoke with someone, so he took his last drag and dropped the glowing cigarette onto the pavement through the window. He quickly flipped the A/C on high to help clear the odor from permeating the car. Kori was still talking as she walked toward the car. Walton stepped out and walked around to open her door.

Ah, she sighed. Service was nice today, don’t you think? She smiled as she patted his hand resting on the gear shift.

I guess… no different, really.

Well, I thought it was nice… the baby dedication… and Amber’s solo… my goodness, she gave me chills! That girl can sing!

Yeah, it was good. You don’t need anything from the store, do you?

Um… no, I don’t think so. I put the roast in before we left. I think I have everything.

Walton pulled into the garage and unlocked the house for his wife, but did not walk inside with her. He walked around to the side of the house to turn the sprinkler on the lawn. Once inside, he went to change out of his suit. Downstairs, Kori was wearing her cooking housedress that she kept in the pantry. It was baby blue and pink with snap buttons down the front. She pulled it on over her dress so she could finish preparing Sunday dinner. She was chopping a head of cabbage at the sink when Walton came and stood close behind her looking over her head to watch, and squeezing both of her arms as she worked. Smells good.

Yeah, the meat is about done.

No, I meant you.

She smiled. Thank you. She looked up at him while she continued to cut. It shouldn’t be too long. Do you want biscuits or cornbread?

Biscuits. He walked away, outside for another smoke. It was a sunny day, clear, no rain in sight, as Walton gauged how long to run the water on the grass. He leaned against his truck, one leg crossed in front of the other, looking over his front and side lawn as the water ticked and sprayed in a circular pattern. There was friendly competition among him and some of their neighbors. Each sought to create the most spectacular lawn. Walton was pleased with his grass this year—no bare spots and nearly weed free. He had mowed and edged the grass yesterday and today he watered it to prevent any yellow spots from appearing. He had planted some hostas on the side lawn next to the big hollies, and now he looked to see what else he might do. He twisted the water spigot off, pulled a small weed near the edge of the shrubbery, then headed inside.

Walt, I was looking for you to make the big move today. It would have been perfect. The Lord is waiting for you.

Well, how ‘bout apologize to him for me.

Walt, I’ll just keep praying for you.

Do that. He sat down in his recliner with the remote. He scrolled through the guide to see what the cable networks were playing.

Walton, you just don’t understand. All you’ve got to do is believe and accept. God makes it so easy, Kori reminded him as she reached for the margarine in the refrigerator. She talked to him about this all the time. She wouldn’t make the decision too urgent. She just mentioned it periodically to remind him that his salvation was important to her.

He stood up, Hey, Babe, how long ‘til dinner? I need to run and get some string for my trimmer. I ran out yesterday.

Go ahead, you’ve got time. The food will probably be ready when you get back.

Walton quickly left and Kori continued cooking and making preparations for their Sunday meal. She loved her husband and prayed for him everyday. She wanted him to quit smoking. To appease her he had stopped smoking in her immediate presence. She was certain he had not quit, but she tried not to harp on the subject too much. She simply prayed that he would stop and had faith that he soon would. Most importantly, she prayed that her husband would decide to give his life to God. He attended church with her each Sunday, occasionally they attended Bible study, and he had even sung in the choir at their former church, but he was not saved. He carried himself in a Christian-like manner as far as his not being one to lie, cheat, or steal, and many of their peers would have assumed that he was saved, but he was not. Kori desperately wanted him to commit his life to God. Before they married, her mother contended that being unequally yoked would make their marriage difficult, but Kori was certain that their level of devotion to each other would carry them, and she felt Walton would eventually learn to love God as she did. So far, in their seven years of marriage, he had not availed his heart to God, but his wife was faithful and trusted that one day he would.

She pointed out to him how God had blessed them with an abundant life filled with love and happiness. She thanked God for both their house and their home. They lived in a South Charlotte neighborhood with other young professional couples and stay-at-home moms. She thanked God often for their gainful employment and prayed that he would help Walton make sound financial decisions. Their two-story brick home was situated on a cul-de-sac and set back from the street with ornamental grass lining the driveway and a mature oak tree in the backyard. Inside there were three bedrooms, each with its own full bath. The colors were warm, yet calm, and Kori’s décor was modern and clean.

As they finished their dinner, Kori posed another question, Do you feel like walking with me?

Dinner was good, Babe.

Thanks. Do you feel like walking?

Not right after I just ate! Walton complained, It’s hot out there! How about later?

No, if I go sit down somewhere, I’ll doze off and I won’t get my exercise for the day. C’mon. It’ll do you good. She reached out to rub his arm.

C’mon Babe, you know those hills hurt my chest when I start all that walking. He pushed his plate forward and sat back in his chair.

Walton, it ain’t the hills hurting your chest. Kori reached over to rub his arm, Honey, it’s the cigarettes hurting your chest.

Hey, you ain’t seen me smoke in… I don’t know how long!

But you still do it. I might not see it, but the Lord sees it.

Walton looked like he was about to say something he didn’t want to say. Ugh! Which one do you want, Kori? Do you want me to stop smoking or get saved? Which one?

Both. But if you don’t stop smoking, you better be saved, ‘cause the Lord’s gonna call you home faster as a smoker.

Okay, right there. He leaned close in his chair. That’s my problem. If the Lord is so much in control, how can you say cigarettes are going to kill me? Can’t the Lord override the cigarettes? Ain’t the Lord supposed to be stronger than cigarettes?

Walton, I can’t believe you just said that. You are further from getting saved than I thought if you can let something like that come out of your mouth!

He rolled his eyes.

Walton, if you want to put poison into your body six or seven times a day, the Lord is not going to stop you. There are plenty Christians who smoke. They shouldn’t, but they do. But when your day comes, you better be ready to answer for it. Smoking… that nicotine, and all those chemicals, that stuff is an addiction, a poisonous addiction! It’s a sin to be so stuck on something like that—you just gotta have it five or six times a day. You’re supposed to be doing one thing and you’re thinking about when you’ll get to smoke again. That—

Walton interrupted. How can my smoking be a sin? I’m not even a member of that club.

Kori looked at him with squinted eyes. Club? Are you trying to make a joke that being saved is a club?

He stared blankly at her, as if he didn’t know why she had taken offense to what he said. Intent on making his point, If I’m at a basketball game, but not on the team, and I walk by and push one of the players on the sideline, the ref can’t call a personal foul on me. I’m not on the team! You’re in here talking about my sin. I’m not saved, so it ain’t sin!

Now frustrated, Kori stood up to carry her plate over to the counter. She walked back over to her husband. She stood behind him squeezing his shoulders, Walt, whether you like it or not, whether you acknowledge him or not, God lives within you. You can sit here and make jokes and call it a club, you can smoke and cuss and whatever you want to do. I’m still going to love you and so is the Lord. But he can love you through things that I can’t even touch. He can bring you peace when nothing and nobody else can. And it’s very disrespectful, some of the things you say! She thought for a moment and licked her lips, Imagine you’re the basketball coach, yes, you’re the coach, driving to the game, and somebody changes lanes and cuts you off. You get mad, blow the horn, pass him, flip him off, and yell out the window at him. Then when the game starts, you realize that was one of the refs.

Oh, so now you gotta use a basketball example?

"Walt, God is there whether you like it or not, and he loves you whether you like it or not, and when you realize it, he’s not going to act like that ref calling fowls on you left and right. He’s going to love you even more. But you need to be respectful now. And it is sin now. She took his plate. Do you want something else to eat?"

Let’s go walk. And let’s talk about something else.

Houseguest 3

Kori showered while Walton lay on the plush bedroom carpet reading the Sunday newspaper. She had cleaned the kitchen and vacuumed the downstairs rooms. She was sleepy, but Walton had asked for a massage, and she knew he would remind her of it. As she toweled herself dry, she heard the familiar buzz of his snoring. In the bedroom, she found him lying on his stomach, on the floor next to the bed, his head atop his arms. She needed to help him climb into bed before her attempt to wake him became hopeless. If not, he would stay on the floor all night, and complain about having a stiff back and sore ribs in the morning. In her long nightgown, she kneeled next to him and firmly patted his back. Walt! Walton! Walton, Honey, you need to get in bed. She shook him gently yet with force. Don’t sleep here on the floor. Let me help you get to bed. In his drowsiness, he put his arm around her and tried to pull her near. No, Honey, get up! She struggled to resist his pull.

Finally he sighed. Okay, I’m up. He licked his lips, What about my massage? You got me out there walking, now I need my back done. We got any of that muscle rub you can put on me?

Yes, Hun, just get in the bed. Take your shirt off. She reached out to him to help him stand. He pulled the sheet and blanket back so he could lie down. As if he couldn’t bear his own weight for another second, he slid his arm beneath the pillow and lay flat on his stomach with his head to one side. He took a deep breath and seemed to slumber immediately. Standing next to him, Kori used her knuckles to put pressure between his neck and shoulder area twisting to deeply massage his muscles. He started to snore, but his own sounds awakened him. He lifted his head, Hey, can you get some of that cream? And will you sit on my butt and do it? Kori reached for