A Heart Forever Changed: My Story of Domestic Abuse, Serious Illness and Open Heart Surgery

By Etta LaVinya

Between the 1940s and the 1960s,
rheumatic fever was a leading cause
of death in children. If they survived,
there would most likely be some lasting
damage, particularly to the heart.
This is Etta LaVinyas story of being
one of those children who, at age 5, was
diagnosed with scarlet fever. Scarlet
fever is contracted first by a germ called
group A streptococcus, or strep throat.
If scarlet fever isnt completely cured,
then rheumatic fever develops.
In the 1990s, Etta found out, while
getting a checkup, that she had a mitral
valve prolapse (a heart valve that doesnt
close properly) most likely caused by
rheumatic fever. In 1965, Ettas parents
werent aware that she wasnt cured from
the scarlet fever and had developed
rheumatic fever. Her doctor informed
her that the mitral valve prolapse wasnt
anything to worry about, but she would
need to take antibiotics before any
dental procedures, or any other invasive
procedures she underwent in the
future to prevent her from contracting
bacterial endocarditis. She followed
those instructions for years, and had no
problems until 2007.
In the year 2000, Etta was married for
the first time. The marriage was a rocky
and confusing union for her, and after
5 years she realized she was married to
an abusive man. During those years of
verbal, mental and emotional abuse
the stress it caused is what Etta believes
landed her in the hospital in 2007
fighting for her life.
This is Etta LaVinyas story of surviving
a very serious illness, two open heart
surgeries and more, brought on by
extreme stress. She has written her story
with the hope that it will bring strength
and courage to those who may be
experiencing serious illness, open heart
surgery or domestic violence.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Apr 28, 2014
• ISBN: 9781491867211

Etta LaVinya

This is the first book that Etta LaVinya has written. During her time in the hospital, one of the physician’s assistants told Etta that she should write a book about her experience. After some thought, Etta decided to give it a try, and this is the finished product. Etta is an avid reader, enjoys crafting and loves animals. She and her husband live in Florida with their 2 pets.

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© 2014 Etta LaVinya. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse   05/09/2014

ISBN: 978-1-4918-6720-4 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4918-6721-1 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2014903327

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

CONTENTS

Acknowledgement

Preface

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Twenty

Chapter Twenty-One

Chapter Twenty-Two

Chapter Twenty-Three

Chapter Twenty-Four

Chapter Twenty-Five

Chapter Twenty-Six

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Epilogue

This is a work of nonfiction. The events are portrayed to the best of Etta LaVinya’s memory. While the story in this book is true, all names have been changed to protect the privacy of the people involved. The conversations in the book all come from the author’s recollections, though some are not written to represent word-for-word transcripts.

This book is designed to provide information to the reader on the subjects discussed. This book is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat any medical condition. For diagnosis or treatment of any medical problem, consult your own physician.

The information the author has shared regarding verbal, mental and emotional abuse comes from her own experience. If legal advice or other expert assistance is required, the services of a competent professional should be sought.

This book is dedicated to my family. Without their love and support I would not have made it through the most difficult time of my life. Also, I dedicate this book to all of the doctors, nurses and medical assistants involved in my medical case and recovery.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENT

It has taken me over 5 years to complete this story, and I want to thank all of my family and friends for believing in me and for believing that I’d eventually finish it.

I want to thank my stepsister, S.L. Powers, for reading my first draft and giving me suggestions on how to make the story better.

I want to thank my husband, who was not with me during the time of my illness, but has been with me during the last 2 years of writing this book. I truly appreciate his patience, understanding and love.

I would also like to thank Authorhouse for allowing me to affordably get my manuscript turned into a real book. To all of my contacts at Authorhouse, thank you for your help and guidance throughout this process. This is a dream come true!

PREFACE

This book is meant to help inform people about bacterial endocarditis, a bacterial infection of the inner lining of the heart. This book also draws attention to how I believe (and I’m not the only one who believes this) that domestic abuse can cause the physical body to end up having a compromised immune system, therefore allowing serious illness to take hold. This is my story and I hope people who read it will find it helpful and inspirational.

I started writing this book in 2008. The reason why I wrote it is because in 2007 I became extremely ill with bacterial endocarditis and ended up having to have emergency open-heart surgery to save my life. I know there are many people in the world who have survived much worse things than I have, but this is my story of the worst thing I have survived in my life, and I felt the need to share it. Many people aren’t really aware of what bacterial endocarditis is. I didn’t know myself what it is until I was diagnosed with the mitral valve prolapse. I think the main reason many people haven’t heard of bacterial endocarditis is because rheumatic fever, which causes damage to the heart, is becoming more rare, and it’s not as serious as it once was. Although rheumatic fever is common worldwide, it is not common in the United States. The last outbreak was in the 1980’s.

After going through my first surgery, and being released from the hospital to recuperate, I was interested in finding books that other people had written about their experience with bacterial endocarditis. As I strolled through bookstores trying to find something that related to my situation I came out empty handed. All I could find were medical books on the subject. I wasn’t looking for medical books. I was looking for personal stories from actual patients. I was searching for someone who understood what I was going through.

Since I was unable to find any books that related to my situation, I decided to write my own. It is my hope that if there is anyone out there that has ever had bacterial endocarditis, or is dealing with it now or experiencing some other serious situation, they will be able to read about another person’s perspective and experience, and know they aren’t alone.

As far as the subject of domestic abuse, this isn’t a book to get help or advice from. It wasn’t until after I started recuperating from my surgeries that I started to realize the stress I was experiencing in my marriage had a lot to do with me becoming ill. I do hope that my story will help others in the same situation to know they are not alone, they are not crazy and they deserve to live a better life than that. There are many books, and websites on the Internet, to read more about the subject. If you feel you’re in an abusive relationship, I would urge you to read about it and get help from someone you trust, or get help from a professional. I know there are people out there that are in relationships that are much more dangerous than the one I was in, and I would suggest they proceed with caution. I was able to get a divorce. For others, it’s not that simple. I am writing about my own personal experience of being in a verbally abusive marriage, because I want those who read this book to hopefully get an idea of what this type of abuse looks like and how insidious it can be. What I’m putting in my book is just a small amount of what I went through, but I felt it necessary to write about. I sincerely feel that because of dealing with years of abuse, that is why I became so ill. That is my personal opinion and I’m sticking to it!

CHAPTER ONE

No one was planning on telling me what really happened. No one was going to tell me that my heart stopped beating on the operating table, and that my family had been told I wasn’t going to make it. I had been weaned from the heart/lung machine without difficulty, but while the surgeons were trying to control the considerable amount of bleeding, I began to sag, and my heart rate dropped abruptly followed by RV failure. As the surgeons were attempting to put me back on the heart/lung machine I went into cardiac arrest causing them to perform CPR to get my heart started again. They let me rest for 30 minutes before attempting to wean me again from the machine. The surgeons were able to save me, but they didn’t tell me that the surgery had been difficult and tedious. Those were the exact words used in my medical report. I only knew, once I became more aware of my surroundings after surgery, something wasn’t right. Something happened that everyone knew about, but no one was letting me in on it.

It wasn’t that I didn’t know my condition was serious. I’d been seriously ill now for 3 months. I was now waking up from my second emergency open heart surgery. In the beginning, I’d suffered from mysterious flu-like symptoms. The cause of it was bacterial endocarditis, an infection that affects the inner lining of the heart, most often the heart valves. Just a couple of months after my first emergency open heart surgery I had congestive heart failure, which sent me back to the hospital. I was also suffering from an unloving and verbally abusive husband, but going through all of the medical issues allowed me to find the strength to stand up for myself and end my 8-year marriage. It also brought my family closer together.

It’s not completely clear how I contracted bacterial endocarditis, but the doctors think that I may have contracted it by going to the dentist. I believe that the stress I was under during my marriage was also a factor.

Around 1995, it was discovered that I had a mitral valve prolapse. Mitral valve prolapse occurs when the valve between the heart’s left upper chamber and the left lower chamber doesn’t close properly. It’s a pretty common condition, and not something that causes problems, unless bacteria enter the bloodstream. The mitral valve, one of 4 valves in the heart, prevents the back flow of blood as it is pumped from the left atrium to the left ventricle. If the blood flows back to the area it came from, and bacteria are present, the bacteria isn’t being flushed out. So the bacteria are able to lodge there in the valve and start growing like weeds in a garden. Therefore, having a mitral valve prolapse made me susceptible to bacterial infection. There are a lot of bacteria in the human mouth and most people aren’t even aware that the bacteria gets into their bloodstream from dental appointments and everyday brushing and flossing, because they don’t have any issues with their heart.

After the mitral valve was discovered I was told I would have to take antibiotics before any dental appointment, or any other surgery or invasive procedure. The antibiotics were a precautionary measure in case bacteria entered my bloodstream. I have done this consistently since I found out I had the condition.

I believe it was in May of 2007 that I had a dental appointment, because I had an exposed root that needed to be covered. I took my antibiotics an hour before the procedure as usual. Everything was fine until early June, when I started having flu-like symptoms. I’m not sure exactly how I got the infection, but I do know that I became deathly ill.

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It’s dark outside, and I’m driving my car down a long deserted road watching the yellow lines on the road pass by, when all of a sudden the road drops off at such an angle the tires of my car are pulling away from the pavement, and I’m looking straight down into a dark abyss. I’m trapped inside my car just falling through the darkness.

It was March 16, 2007 when I woke up suddenly realizing it was just a dream. It felt so real, and I was so relieved to realize it was just a dream. I wrote it down so I wouldn’t forget it. I had been having a lot of dreams like that. I like to try to interpret my dreams, when I can, to see if my subconscious is trying to tell me something. These dreams weren’t really telling me anything I didn’t already know. My subconscious was just solidifying the fact that I was experiencing a lot of stress and anxiety at that point in my life, and something had to be done about it.

The interpretation of the dream I had was—you may be experiencing some major struggle and/or overwhelming problem. You are having anxieties in certain circumstances of your life. What was the struggle and overwhelming problem I was experiencing? What was causing the anxiety? I’ll tell you what… my marriage to a verbally abusive man. A marriage that I wanted to end, but didn’t exactly know how to get the nerve to do it.

I met Leif in the fall of 1998. I had never been married before, but he had been married several times. When I found out that he’d been married 5 times, I didn’t care. I was so attracted to him, and he was so nice to me (at the beginning) that it just didn’t matter to me. I told myself that he must have been unlucky, and he had married the wrong women. He’s so nice and good-looking. It just had to be bad luck.

Leif was tall and muscular with dark hair and mustache. He had a beautiful white smile that really stood out against the dark mustache and his tanned skin. Leif was handsome, rugged and manly; a combination I couldn’t resist, even when the red flags started waving.

We eventually got married, and the marriage was rocky from the start. For years I told myself that everything was fine. I tried to convince myself that our