Tears of Loneliness: The Angel Within

By Ryan Doyle

"An inspirational story of triumphant courage and undeniable bravery." - Anonymous

Tears of Loneliness, The Angel Within is a memoir written by Ryan Doyle explaining his experiences involving the act of bullying. The remaining sections are designed to help victims of bullying.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Mar 24, 2016
• ISBN: 9781503516199

Ryan Doyle

I was born in Oshawa, Ontario, Canada, on March, 18th, 1987. I am an only child who has no brothers or sisters. I am an educated young man with a bright future. I believe in the people of this world, & I want to help as many people as I can help in this world. I am currently attending Athabasca University as Psychology student. I would like to eventually become tied for the best Author in history, although I have some tough shoes to fill. In addition to being a world renowned Author, I also want to help individuals who suffer from mental illness & people who need help in any way. I am also very interested in writing erotica novels, romance novels, horror novels, poetry books & books in various other forms of literature as well. I am twenty-seven years old, & this the first book I have ever written. I look forward to becoming a tremendous Author & I am confident that I can help this world in a multitude of ways. I will hit this bullying issue head on, & I will help victims of bullying internationally if it is the last thing I do in my lifetime. I am willing to risk it all to help victims of bullying overcome the bullying that victims suffer from on a continual basis. This book is the most daring piece of literature I have ever written. I am willing to risk everything to help victims of bullying internationally overcome the bullying that they continue to experience, & have experienced within their past.

Book preview

PROLOGUE

H ELLO EVERYONE. MY name is Ryan Doyle. I am from Toronto, Ontario, Canada. I have been a victim of bullying for more than twenty years. This book is dedicated to my mother, my father, my family, my friends, my teachers, victims of bullying, and all of the people who have taken it upon themselves to read my story. I hope that my story will help change your lives forever, but also help address this very serious and potentially life-threatening dilemma which is known as the act of bull ying.

The bullying that I experienced began when I was just four years old. I was tormented, made fun of, called names, and excluded by my peers. I was a kind-hearted child who had a big heart, and I knew how to care for my family and friends. My family was very supportive of me, and we got along quite well. My family appreciated my love, but some of my friends and classmates did not appreciate my friendship. I was abused in the school yard and in the classroom every day of my school life. I was called nicknames that shouldn’t have hurt my feelings, but in reality other people’s actions hurt me so much that I almost couldn’t bear to take another breath.

I am lucky that I am alive to share my story. I have a few close friends who genuinely care about me, and they are always here for me when I need them most. These friends are true friends. I would like to take this time to thank all of my true friends.

The situations that I went through as a child were mean, cruel, unjustifiable, and just plain despicable. I am older now, but the scars and pain are still in my heart and within my mind. I am sick of the way that certain people are treating innocent victims of bullying. Peer pressure causes people to do things that they normally wouldn’t do without that influence. I want all of the people reading this book to know that bullying is not just a part of growing up.

Rather, bullying is a very serious form of abuse. In addition, bullying causes changes in the brains of victims, bullies, and the innocent or not-so-innocent bystanders who often become—and remain—the cruel, like-minded audience who encourages the act of bullying despite how shameful it really is. Just remember victims, bullies are abusers, and abusers will never be winners in life.

This situation is completely unacceptable. Every criminal deserves to pay the consequences for his or her actions, and I am sick of paying for other people’s heartlessness and shameful acts of cruelty. I am not afraid to express my emotions. It makes me very angry to write this book, but my experiences and the situations that other victims have experienced or continue to experience are completely deplorable and disgraceful. It is an utter shame to see innocent victims go through such abuse, discrimination, prejudice, and torture at the hands of sick-minded, vindictive bullies who feel no remorse for their reprehensible actions.

Bullies make me very angry, and their actions can create a great deal of drama for their victims. Bullying is a issue that can lead to abuse, along with violence and discrimination. This can create animosity and hatred toward innocent victims. Another problem with bullying is who it hurts, which is everyone involved. It hurts the victim, the victim’s parents, the victim’s friends, and the victim’s families. But bullying not only affects the victim; it also can impact the brains of the bullies as well. No act of bullying is ever acceptable. It never has been okay and never will be justifiable.

The treatment that I endured just wasn’t right. So I want my readers to ask themselves, who wins when it comes to bullying? This is the point that I am trying to illustrate. No one wins when the unjust treatment of innocent victims takes place. What is wrong with peace? Peace and love is all this world truly needs, along with a sense of togetherness.

The bullying that I experienced also caused me to experience exclusion from my peers, and because of the cruel actions of others, I felt as though I was not accepted even by some of my teachers at times. I even changed schools because of the way other people were treating me. The cruelty that I was subjected to caused me to experience more bullying, which led to various other forms of abuse as well.

The second type of abuse that I suffered was physical abuse. By the time kindergarten was over, I had already suffered more abuse than any person should go through in an entire lifetime. This impacted a region in my brain known as the amygdale, which is commonly known as the emotional center of the brain. The problem is that the amygdale is a very small section of the brain, and when negative emotions overwhelm a victim’s mind this can impact that victims school performance as well.

The amount of abuse that I experienced in the school yard led to other kinds of abuse, such as my peers stealing my money, stealing my possessions, using me for my pool, along with using me and abusing me in every way that cruel-spirited bullies could abuse an innocent, kind-hearted victim such as myself. What I was experiencing was wrong on so many levels. I am grateful that I am still alive and doing so well.

Due to the bullying that I have experienced, it is very important for me to raise awareness about bullying. I want to do this specifically so that people realize that bullying is wrong and to prove that it is never acceptable. Every person in this world must realize that no act of bullying is ever justifiable. Bullies often have something harmful going on in their personal lives that makes these bullies take their own personal issues out on their innocent victims. Bullies feel miserable, so they desperately attempt to make other’s feel miserable as well. Shame on every bully for taking his or her personal misery and personal insecurities out on innocent victims.

This is a despicable cycle that has been taking place for far too long. News in recent years has also suggested that frequent bullying can in fact be life threatening for victims. This is all caused by bullies and their webs of like-minded individuals who become their audience. This may cause victims to eventually attempt to kill themselves, harm themselves, or perhaps be killed as a result of bullying.

This situation is intolerable. Justice must be served. This message is for every victim who has been bullied, always remember that you are not the problem. I want every person reading this book to understand that I am not trying to play the blame game, but I am simply trying to get bullies to admit that what they are doing is wrong and to change for the better. I want bullies to look at their victims before they decide to bully others. Remember to make the right choices, and do not become a bully in the first place. More importantly, you should always try to become a true friend instead of becoming an inconsiderate bully.

Bullies should look at the victims they are victimizing and realize that they are being mean toward innocent victims and stop immediately. I want every bully in this world to admit that they are wrong and to apologize in a meaningful manner. It takes a great deal of courage to admit when you are wrong, but if you do admit when you are wrong you will receive endless respect in return.

I want all of the victims in this world to overcome the bullying that they have experienced within their past or are continuing to experience at present. I also hope that my story and my experiences will help prevent the problem of bullying not only in your lives, but also in the lives of the people you know.

IN THE BEGINNING

I T WAS THE first day of school in 1992 when I was first bullied in the school yard. I remember being in tears on my way to school because I was going to be away from my family and I was afraid. At that point in my young life, I suffered from severe anxiety. I was literally afraid of almost everything. In the classroom, everything seemed to go well. In the school yard, it was a completely different story. I was called names and threatened continually. This occurred on a frequent b asis.

My classmates would ask what was wrong with me and why I looked the way I did. My peers would call me nicknames and frequently say terrible things to me. The amount of cruelty that I was experiencing was extremely high. In later years, I was teased based on my appearance as well.

At this particular point in my life, I was going through a lot of emotions as a result of the cruel, sick-minded actions of others. My initial reaction to bullying resulted in a great deal of confusion and sadness. I was often in tears. This sadness trend continued until early adulthood in varying degrees.

By the end of kindergarten, I had gone through so much bullying that I wondered how I was still breathing. I had been assaulted by what seemed like the entire school, and this reoccurred throughout all of my elementary school years. Each day, the way other people treated me continued to get worse. But now I am happier than all of those cruel people who were mean toward me because of the words that my father asked me to repeat to him: No matter what they say or do, I’m not going to let it bother me.

However, throughout those elementary years,