The Life Of The Abused

By Olatunde Turner-Edem

Statistics shows that girls are sexually abused more often than boys, so parents with female children have a lot of work to do but nonetheless every parent must be vigilant. The negative effects of child sexual abuse can affect the victim for many years and into adulthood. Adults who were sexually abused as children show traces of depression and high levels of anxiety which can result in self-destructive behaviors such as alcoholism, drug abuse, anxiety disorders, insomnia and sexual misbehavior which often leads to prostitution or the extreme case of lack of interest in sex in adulthood.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Olatunde Turner-Edem
• Release date: Aug 9, 2015
• ISBN: 9781516387649

Olatunde Turner-Edem

Olatunde Turner-Edem is a graduate of the University of Lagos, where she studied Guidance and Counselling. Olatunde enjoys writing and is passionate about her counseling profession which has prompted her to write this book and create an awareness of what is prevalent but unspoken in our society and world at large. She is married to Francis Edem and lives in Lagos Nigeria with her family

Book preview

To Oluwabukunola,

for you ran a thousand miles

with this dream.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENT

I am grateful to God Almighty

To my husband Francis Ime Edem for believing in me and for such great support and love you always lavish me with, and also for taking time out to read all my manuscripts, you are my hero.

To Sammy Sage Hassan for taking out time over and over again to edit this work I am grateful.

To my beautiful and wonderful cousin Adesolape Oyeusi for all your encouragement, advice and editorial contribution towards this book, you are greatly loved.

To all those who gave me permission to use their story.

Finally to my pastors Yemi and Bimbo Davids, your encouragement over years has contributed greatly to who I am today.

FOREWORD

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Too many crisis all over the world and too many complains from everyone. Several interventions have been created over time but with every solution comes another crisis yet no one seem to have been able to critically examine the role child abuse plays in the formation of that troubled adult especially child sexual abuse.

In 15years of working with families and troubled adults and children and having been a victim of child sexual abuse myself I have seen how damaging an abused childhood can be and how it plays out in broken relationships and marriages; dysfunctional leadership and even corrupt public officers.

If the foundation be destroyed what can the righteous do? asked the Psalmist.

The devil understands the power of a firm foundation and that is why he ensures loads of kids are abused and once the damage is done at childhood what we would be trying to do in adulthood is damage control. That is why I am a firm believer in that age long saying that it is better to nuture a child than to be trying to repair an adult.

In this book my wonderful sister Olatunde has added her voice to the growing call for everyone to pay attention to the childhood of every child and join hands together to prevent child sexual abuse. I have seen her passion, read the book myself and one thing you can be sure of is that this book would never leave you the same.

But please don’t just read, go beyond the pages to acting out what you have read as we rebuild a broken world orchestrated by broken childhood.

Child sexual abuse is a plague and this book is certain to kick it out.

Praise Fowowe

Someday in Africa every child will have access to basic sexuality education and child sexual abuse would have been dealt with.

INTRODUCTION

Fear!!!

Over here! Over there!

Distrust, Dismay,

Battered lives, battered hopes

Who will help, who can help?

Several years ago as a young girl, I had this very special friend Toyin whose friendship I valued so much. Her family was our next door neighbor and we did everything together. On several occasions she either slept in my house or I spent the night in her house. We also attended the same primary and secondary school. She was a sanguine by nature, always happy and playful; energetic and equally intelligent. Everyone in the neighborhood loved her because of her good nature; however a certain individual came into her life and turned it around.

When we were in primary four, I noticed that all the laughter and playful nature of my friend had begun to disappear. She snapped at anyone who came close to her, became rude, easily angered and looked depressed. As a young girl, I did not understand what she was going through but I remember