Help! I'm Really Single: A Survival Guide for Today’S Christian Single

By Dr. Bobby Brewer

Are you serious about wanting to be married? If this is your goal, Help! Im Really Single can immediately begin to guide you toward a much wiser and more purposeful dating strategy. Like a survival guide, this handbook reveals some practical insights for navigating the twenty-first-century singles scene and finding the right person.

Is it okay to date someone whos going through a divorce?

Since sexual compatibility is so important, shouldnt you know if youre compatible or not prior to marriage?

How will I know if theyre the right one to marry?

How can I become more attractive?

Are you purposefully or aimlessly dating?

Do you know the dates to avoid?

How can you put an end to your datelessness?

How can you make the most of matchmaking websites?

How can you improve your odds of getting a date?

How do you move on after the person you wanted to marry breaks up with you?

If you cant be with the one you love, should you settle for the one who is pursuing you?

These and other questions are answered in Help! Im Really Single: A Survival Guide for Todays Christian Single.

As someone who has ministered to singles for over fifteen years, Dr. Brewer shares how you can not only save yourself from some unnecessary heartache but also wisely guide you toward marriage through purposeful dating.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Apr 29, 2015
• ISBN: 9781490870458

Dr. Bobby Brewer

Dr. Bobby Brewer (D Min, Phoenix Seminary) serves on the pastoral staff at City of Grace, a multisite church in the Phoenix metropolitan area. He is also the co-host of a radio show in which he regularly addresses cultural issues.

Book preview

Help! I’m Really Single:

A Survival Guide for

Today’s Christian Single

Dr. Bobby Brewer

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Copyright © 2015 Dr. Bobby Brewer.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

The majority of Scripture referenced in this publication are taken from the King James Version (KJV), available in public domain.

Scriptures taken from the Holy Bible, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by Biblica, Inc. All rights reserved worldwide. Used by permission. NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION® and NIV® are registered trademarks of Biblica, Inc. Use of either trademark for the offering of goods or services requires the prior written consent of Biblica US, Inc.

WestBow Press

A Division of Thomas Nelson & Zondervan

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

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ISBN: 978-1-4908-7044-1 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4908-7046-5 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-4908-7045-8 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2015902639

WestBow Press rev. date: 04/24/2015

Contents

Acknowledgments

Introduction

Chapter 1    Single America

Q: Why are there so many Christian singles?

Q: Do you have the gift of being single? If yes, can you return it?

Chapter 2    Soul Exam for Singles

Q: Is it me?

Q: Does God really expect me to be thankful for being single?

Q: Are you measuring your self-worth based on your relationship status?

Q: Singles bars and clubs will increase my odds of meeting someone, right?

Chapter 3    Dating Scene Survival Prep

Q: Do you want to be married?

Q: Are you purposefully or aimlessly dating?

Q: How can I become more attractive?

Q: Are you on the rebound?

Q: Are you still legally married?

Q: What can I do to find the right person?

Q: Can you really make a lifelong commitment to one person?

Chapter 4    Dates to Avoid

Q: Is he or she an addict?

Q: Do you really want to spend the rest of your life with a hothead?

Q: Are they bitter?

Q: Are you dating a habitual liar?

Q: Are they emotionally wounded?

Q: Are you dating a sex addict?

Q: Are they born again?

Q: Are they in an unusual rush to get married?

Chapter 5    Dateless to Dating

Q: How can I meet the right person?

Q: What can you do to put an end to your datelessness?

Q: Can you really meet you future spouse through online matchmaking?

Q: How can you make the most of matchmaking websites?

Q: How can you improve your odds of getting a date?

Q: Is it okay for a girl to ask a guy out?

Q: Are your standards too high?

Q: How do you guard your heart while dating?

Q: What advice would you give to men for making a good first impression?

Q: What advice would you give women for making a good first impression?

Q: I do ok in getting first dates, but rarely if ever get a second date. What’s up with that?

Q: Is it okay to pray for a particular person to fall in love with you?

Chapter 6    Sex

Q: Will my struggle with sexual temptation end when I get married?

Q: How far is too far? Is it okay to have sex as long as you don’t go all the way?

Q: What’s so bad about having friends with benefits?

Q: Since sexual compatibility is so important, shouldn’t you know if you’re compatible prior to marriage?

Q: Can you back up on your sexual relationship if you’ve gone too far?

Q: Waiting for sex after marriage is one thing when you are in your twenties, but what about when you’re in your thirties, forties, or later?

Q: What’s so bad about porn?

Q: I love being considered hot but always seem to attract the wrong guys. What should I do?

Q: My boyfriend and I have been dating for over a year and are very serious. We’ve been talking about marriage and are hopefully getting married in two years or so. It is so hard to stay completely pure. Do you have any suggestions for staying pure until we get married?

Chapter 7    Gnarly Situations

Q: How do you respond when someone says, God told me to marry you?

Q: Should you ever get back together with someone who cheated on you?

Q: You’re starting to fall in love with a very nice man who is not yet a Christian. However, he treats you just as nicely as many Christian guys you’ve dated. Some of your friends from church say you you’re not supposed to date a non-Christian. This sounds a bit holier than thou and self-righteous to you. You are praying for him and have brought him to church. What next?

Q: How should you respond when a non-Christian wants to date you?

Q: As a way to help divorce-proof your marriage, what do you think about living together first?

Q: You and your potential mate love your church. Problem is you go to different churches. How do you resolve this? Is it okay to keep going to your respective churches after you’re married?

Q: Should you be concerned about an age difference?

Q: Is there any good way to break up?

Q: You were dumped. Is there anything you can do to help get back together?

Q: You were dumped but are still in love and believe that you should be together. What should you do to convince your ex you were meant for each other?

Q: How do you move on after the person you wanted to marry breaks up with you?

Chapter 8    Hot Topics While You’re Single

Q: You’ve met someone you really like. This person is a Christian but doesn’t believe in organized religion and, therefore, doesn’t attend a local church. Is this a problem?

Q: Is it okay to date someone who’s going through a divorce? It will be final in about three months?

Q: At what point should you let someone know you’ve been married and divorced?

Q: You’ve been told the divorce rate for blended families is rather high. Why is this the case, and is there anything you can do to avoid becoming a statistic?

Q: Is it okay to date if you’re unemployed?

Q: You’ve accumulated a significant amount of debt. At what point should you bring this up?

Q: If you can’t be with the one you love, nor seem to find the one who has what you’re looking for, should you settle for the one who is pursuing you?

Q: Can a guy be best friends with a girl and vice versa?

Q: How much should you expect to pay for an engagement ring?

Q: What happens to the engagement ring if the relationship breaks