Honest to God

By john brooks

If we can't be honest with ourselves, how can we be honest with God. HONEST TO GOD is a clear unvarnished look at the realities of life. Hope and disappointment, struggles and victories, fear and faith, all play a part in who we are and who we will become. Years of religious training and indoctrination can and usually do distort both the believer and unbeliever's concept of God as He truly is. It is a fact that most people understand imagery and symbol better than doctrine and dogma. This book is intended to wipe the fog from the window that we look through to see God.... clearly, as He longs to be seen.

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookBaby
• Release date: Apr 3, 2017
• ISBN: 9781483597553

john brooks

John Brooks (1920–1993) was an award-winning writer best known for his contributions to the New Yorker as a financial journalist. He was also the author of ten nonfiction books on business and finance, a number of which were critically acclaimed works examining Wall Street and the corporate world. His books Once in Golconda, The Go-Go Years, and Business Adventures have endured as classics. Although he is remembered primarily for his writings on financial topics, Brooks published three novels and wrote book reviews for Harper’s Magazine and the New York Times Book Review. 

Book preview

5:1&2

The Dream

Throughout my life, I have been exposed to what has become known as the American Dream. Following this ever changing blueprint seemed to be the responsible thing to do and was expected by everyone that I knew. The evidence that a majority of the world’s population had no such belief didn’t seem to matter. The only thing that mattered was that I pursue it with all of my heart and strength.

What began as an opportunity for everyone to be the unique person that God created them to be has morphed into just one more soul prison where all are encouraged to desire and pursue an exhaustive and life ebbing list of things. To be different is to be seen as odd or eccentric, something of a misfit. This behavior is suspect in our society today, and has become so in the church as well.

This shape changing dream is elusive and difficult to actually define. Reaching for it leaves most with empty hands and shattered hopes. Desiring, but never able to attain that which promises to satisfy.

Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart. 1 Samuel 16:7

THE REALITY OF LIFE

The belief that all is well and will continue on that path as long as I have faith has become prevalent in the church today. The doctrine that prosperity and health are guaranteed to all that live by faith is perpetuated throughout the circles of Christianity at every level. Many even preach that it is our right. To believe such a gospel is to be trapped in falsehood that ignores the struggling world all around us. It is the epitome of living out of our own ego, without empathy for others and in ignorance of and denial of the truth.

Although our King desires the best for his children we are in great error to assume that His best for us is dependent upon what we have, where we live, or who we are in the eyes of others. It is Biblically and historically incorrect to assume that His thoughts are our thoughts, when in fact, they are not. His thoughts, and thus His desires for each of us are far greater than we can imagine.

For too long Christians, especially in the west, have been duped by the promise of health and wealth as a guarantee from an almighty God, who is portrayed as only wishing to shower His children and their’s with every gift and opportunity available. The question, why shouldn’t we have the very best, is one that is often asked and used as a defense for these beliefs.

This type of belief only deludes those who cling to it as they try one formula after another. Always running from one seminar to the next best selling book, they are unsettled in what they believe and thus, are ripe to believe anything. Church attendance rises and falls on the premise of what the church can do for me rather than how I can serve others for God’s glory.

The belief is simple. As long as my life is going well, my needs and desires are met, my family is healthy and my position and influence growing, this belief system works. I can point to all of my blessings, and loudly proclaim how faithful my God is to those who believe. But what happens when without warning my life stalls? My dreams are shattered, my kids give up on the faith, my spouse leaves, I lose my job and then my possessions, or my health deteriorates? No matter how hard I pray these issues cling to me like brambles to my clothes. My way of life is now changed and I can’t change it back, no matter how many tried and true formulas I follow. No matter how many times I tell the devil to leave, or command the sickness or pain of loss to disappear, I seem to have been thrown into a dungeon where no hope lives.

I try to pray, but words won’t come, only groans. I seek solace, but find only misunderstanding. Well meaning friends tell me to keep my chin up, look to God, make sure I’m in the Word and eventually, when none of this seems to work for me, these very friends begin to question my faith. My gut wrenches inside of me, my heart seems like an empty hole in my chest and staring is my only way of seeing the world around me. What then............?

Throughout this book I will be sharing very real issues in my own life and with permission, the lives of others. The pictures will not always be ones that you would hope to see. Life is hard, faith can seem slippery, and compassion....................compassion is lacking. Dear reader may we choose daily to live as our Master, with compassion and a willingness to listen to others, hearing what they are actually saying, without our eyes glazing over. May our sacrifices be those of a giving and open heart that operates at home, in the work place, on the street and even in church. May our hands reach out not to take, but instead, to give. Whether in flush or lean times, may we be honest........

The Light can never be put out by the darkness. As it spread through the universe at God’s command, it will continue to dispel the darkness for all time. jb

Chapter One: The Shoe Drops

Something was wrong, I could just tell. Our daughter had never before been unable to hold a job. Sure, she has always had a mind of her own and we encouraged her to be the person that God made her to be, and as a teenager she exhibited the much feared behavior that is consistent with that age. I have wished everyday since that time that I understood God’s plan and His ways in a deeper way. The affect of the opinions of others claimed a piece of my heart and because of that I look back and see clearly that Jesus would have done many things differently from the way that I did them. Today I thank Him continually for His patience with me and the consistent gracious teaching of His Spirit.

We had just taken our position in a new pastorate and were settling into our differing responsibilities. Excited for the new challenges and immediately buried in work and the needs of others, I dismissed the needs I saw arising in our daughter. Looking back I now can see that they had been there for awhile and I had misidentified them as simply growing pains and not the very soul crushing issues that they were. My attention was totally given to my ministry to others and I failed miserably to fulfill my ministry to the one who needed me most.

Having no friends in this new place, our precious daughter turned to any who would have her. Drug addiction, leaving home, living precariously all followed and without warning my wife and I were thrown into a place that all Christians fear to go. The real world, with real problems, where real life is lived. In this place there are no easy answers or tried and true formulas that work. Only tying a knot in the end of the rope of faith and holding on. You will know when you are there because you will have to look up to see bottom.

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The expectations placed on pastors and other ministers by their congregations and governing bodies are many times painfully unrealistic. Instead of having their basis in a clear interpretation of scriptures such as 1 Timothy 3, which expresses solid expectations served up with grace, they seem to vary from church to church and denomination to denomination. Even our non-denominational brethren have their own hoops which must be successfully jumped through.

I have found that these expectations find their way into the daily actions between all of the members of the church. It is both sad and a disgrace to the sacrifice of Jesus for all men, to treat others with a degree of superiority. Watching and judging their every word and action, based on our limited understanding of the grace of God, that we only now see dimly as in a mirror. Hearts are broken and trampled instead of healed because of our small vision of the greatest power in the universe. Called to be healers, we instead mistakenly take the position of judge.

The pain that those who have found their way into the reality of life can be seen and felt if we allow ourselves to be sensitive to the Spirit. When Jesus came upon a person who desperately needed to be seen and lifted from where they were, He stopped. With each person it was different, but yet, somehow the same. He looked into their eyes and saw their heart, the person that they really were and their desperate cry for help. He knew that they were terrified by the sins that dogged them like a pack of wolves, howling through the seemingly endless nights. The sicknesses, the wayward children, the broken relationships and hearts, He saw it all, and He stopped.

He could have called their sins out, or served them a portion of judgement that no man could digest and live, but instead, he bent down and raised them to their feet, lifting their fallen chins to look into His eyes, that held the depth of the universe. Because He came, not to crush us, but instead, to save us, He served up grace to all, that was the open door to see into the depths of God Himself. Breaking the mold of religion into a thousand pieces, He lived out kind acceptance of a fallen creation. He loves so fully that He willingly laid down His life for each and every one. That is why He is not only King of Heaven’s Armies, but the wounded Healer of all men.

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Thrown off balance by the reality of what was happening in our own family we were broken in spirit. Our hearts were so heavy that even today I can still feel the ghost of that weight. What were we to do? What would others think of us and our ability to lead? I am ashamed to admit that those questions were of great importance to me at that time.

At first I was just angry, but I found that my anger was of no use in dealing with this very real issue. As always, my precious wife spoke the right words that penetrated my hardened and frustrated heart. We have the choice of turning to her and being a part of her life, no matter what happens, or we can turn away and have no part in her life from here.

Those words sent a shock through me that reached into my soul. The hardness around my heart, the frustration, the anger all seemed to simply disappear as the tears came. I could not turn away from this precious child that God had blessed and charged us with. That day I turned on the front porch light and committed to not turn it off. More than anything in the world I wanted her to know that she could always come home, whether sick or well. I changed many light bulbs throughout the next year, but that light stayed on.

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