The Adventures of Pinky Fairway: A Journey to Awaken Your Spirit and Set Yourself Free

By Zoe Bell

Do you feel like you are here for a higher purpose, a unique soul calling? Are you ready to have the greatest love affair you will ever experience?

In The Adventures of Pinky Fairway, author Zoe Bell shares her soul journey back to her sensual and awakened self. She offers a deeper understanding of her adventures of awakening and gives others permission to open themselves to who they truly are. Filled with rich, raw truths from heart and soul, Bell tells how its time to change the old paradigm of sexual oppression placed upon us by society and step into the souls we came here to be, as we each play an integral part in our sensual and conscious evolution.

Offering a new perspective on your total way of being, TheAdventures of Pinky Fairway elevates your awareness of some deeply held beliefs about body image, sexuality, and beliefs about relationships and sex that are holding you back from shining your inner magnificence.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Balboa Press AU
• Release date: Mar 7, 2017
• ISBN: 9781504306560

Zoe Bell

Zoe Bell is an international mindset and empowerment coach, presenter, speaker, writer, Reiki master, and body therapist. Bell divides her time between organizing retreats, teaching The Belle Mind Method, and running her show “Empower the Beautiful You.” She has two children. Visit her online at www.videazine.com.

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Copyright © 2017 Zoe Bell.

Photo Credits to Rosie-Jane Kerwan Photography

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

The information, ideas, and suggestions in this book are not intended as a substitute for professional medical advice. Before following any suggestions contained in this book, you should consult your personal physician. Neither the author nor the publisher shall be liable or responsible for any loss or damage allegedly arising as a consequence of your use or application of any information or suggestions in this book.

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional, or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself, which is your constitutional right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

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ISBN: 978-1-5043-0655-3 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5043-0656-0 (e)

Balboa Press rev. date: 03/06/2017

Table of Contents

Dedication

Foreword

Introduction

Part 1

Chapter 1 My Blueprint for Life

(1) My Childhood

(2) Coming Home

(3) A journey to finding my voice

Chapter 2 Energetic beings Living a human experience

(1) Creative forces of the mind

(2) The physical body Talks

(3) Energy vampires

Chapter 3 Who are You???

(1) A square Peg in a round hole

(2) A Freaky Genius

(3) The Power of Presence

Chapter 4 An Awakening of Consciousness

(1) A sensual revolution into expanded awakening of consciousness.

(2) A Hard Fuck versus a Spiritual Energetic Interaction

(3) The Spiritual Sensual Interaction.

Part 2

Chapter 5 Sexual energy transmissions

(1) Sexually transmitted Demons

(2) Connection and Surrender

(3) Attachments of Energy

Chapter 6 A new Paradigm in Consciousness

(1) The awakened love relationship

(2) An Inward Journey

(3) Oneness

Chapter 7 What is Blocking Your Bliss?

(1) Are you getting in the way of Your Greatness?

(2) Breaking The Chains of Dysfunction

(3) The Entrapment within the Matrix

Chapter 8 Soul Freedom from Entrapment

(1) Feeling Trapped

(2) The Dance of Energy and Attention

(3) On a MISSION to pay it forward

Part 3

Chapter 9 Honoring your Divine inner Goddess

(1) Do you LOVE what you see?

(2) What is the SEXIEST thing about a woman?

(3) The GODDESS within

Chapter 10 The Designer Vagina Scandal

(1) Your Beautiful Yoni

(2) Why is this all happening?

(3) What do you see?

(4) The Love Me Deeply Theory

(5) Exercises

Chapter 11 The NAKED Truth

(1) Pealing back the Masks

(2) Faulty wiring patterns

(3) Let’s un-pack fear

(4) Moving forward in accelerated motion

Chapter 12 We are Magnetic Beings

(1) The magnetic force

(2) Our Internal Antennae

(3) Our Energy Wheel System

Part 4

Chapter 13 Mind is Everything

(1) Creative power of the mind

(2) The Armour of the Heart

(3) Your greatest love affair

Chapter 14 Touch for Human Survival

(1) Human touch is vital

(2) Sensual Self Touch

(3) Fun Partner Games

Chapter 15 High jacked by Comparison

(1) Confidence is the New Sexy

(2) Comparison Hostage

(3) The Yoni/Pussy truth from men

Chapter 16 The Sacred YONI

(1) The Womb - a Sacred Place

(2) A Sacred flower waiting to open

(3) The Art of Letting Go

Part 5

Chapter 17 The Power of Words

(1) Words act like a radar

(2) Deepen your intimacy with another

(3) Fantasies- for those who dare

Chapter 18 The Pyramid Principles for Wellbeing of Spirit

(1) The 3 Mind Principles

(2) The 4 Body Principles

(3) The 6 SOUL Principles

Chapter 19 Secret desires between Men and Women

(1) What secret desires does an awakened man want?

(2) What secret desires does an awakened woman want?

(3) Who is the BOSS?

Chapter 20 CONCLUSION

Resources

Glossary

Acknowledgements

About the Author

Sales Page

Dedication

This is dedicated to all those that are ready to play at the edge and set their spirit free. To dissolve and overcome mental and social conformity, to unleash their inner wild and step into the powerful creator you came here to be.

To the women that desire to develop a deep, loving and harmonious relationship with the self and evolve into an Awakened woman.

To the men that are looking to explore their inner depths and deepen their expressiveness within themselves, honouring their own unique spirit.

It is then we can come together in harmony and free will, where there is no need to control, no force; and live with simple love, truth and freedom.

This book is about connecting to, and cultivating your most important relationship ever, a journey back to YOU. It is my intention to assist you in honouring your TRUTH and to never play small again.

Be Empowered and Stand Out From The Crowd.

Welcome to the Sensual Revolution and Empowered Evolution.

Before we take this journey together, know that you are enough!!

We are simply fine-tuning and upgrading every cell within our body and D.N.A.

I dedicate this to all those who have been curious to join in and play, yet have hidden within the shadow of Fear.

Know that we each play an important role in life, embracing our weirdness and allowing our spirit to create its own sacred journey and unique dance.

This book is a step towards your own evolution and inner growth as an individual as we explore parts that you may have forgotten and hidden along the way, to awaken your inner spirit.

In is my intention that this books sets out to awaken your own adventure and journey, to flow as it needs be and will deliver whatever conscious effort you put in, with the incremental shifts in awareness along the way.

Life will never be the same again!

Foreword

Foreword by Ron Malhotra.

As the human race evolves and transcends from one level of consciousness to another, there is a need for individuals who will dare to challenge deeply rooted conventions and paradigms.

If you go back in history, you will find many such examples of people who were labeled ‘trouble-makers’.

Yet, many of those individuals eventually became the catalysts for change that inspired a new way of thinking and a caused a fundamental shift in our way of living.

Zoe Bell is one of those individuals.

In this book Zoe will elevate your awareness of some deeply help beliefs about body image, sexuality and beliefs about relationships and sex that are holding you back from shining your inner magnificence.

Occasionally you will be challenged, sometimes you will experience discomfort, but by the time you are finished with the book, you will be ready to consider a new perspective on your total way of being that incorporates your inner most thoughts, fantasies, beliefs and wellbeing.

As we transition from the ‘Information Age’ to the ‘Conceptual Age’ we will need to entertain a new way of thinking that will propel us into a new dimension of thinking. The type of thinking that is not indoctrinated in traditional dogma and takes a brutally honest view of the individual perspective.

Previously the domain of mystics and meta-physicians, the thoughts and ideas expressed by Zoe can no longer be labeled as ‘new age’.

If you are someone who has ever felt embarrassed or uncomfortable about your thoughts, relationship, body or sexuality, then make this your next ‘must read’.

You cannot transcend into a new level of being until you can entertain a new idea.

And this book is about that new idea. This is a powerful journey to un-leash and awaken your free spirit and create a life by your own unique design!

I hope this book provides you with refreshing insights from a woman who dares to be herself in a world where most would stick to safety and conventions.

Zoe Bell may be to sexuality what Steve Jobs was to technology.

Ron Malhotra is a Thought Leader, an Entrepreneur, an International Speaker, an Internationally Certified Success Coach, Award-Winning Wealth Planner, Leadership Trainer, Radio Host and a #1 Best-Selling Author.

Ron is also the Founder of ‘The Successful Male’, a men’s movement that challenges men to become the best version of themselves.

Introduction

Hello and welcome to the Adventures of Pinky Fairway, it is a pleasure to share this with you and it has been and continues to be a journey still unfolding. Every day a new experience, a change in perspective and so the book continues to unravel the way it needs to be, in each moment. I have chosen a very different way to share my story, as much is sensitive, raw, includes other individuals that I respect, forgive, wish to protect their privacy and yes who I love. The purpose for any story is to learn the lesson and move on; I believe it is not for others to embellish within, yes be inspired and learn from this, take from it what you may as this is your own unique journey back to you. The story will keep you stuck, so it is my mission to show you how you can put it down for good, so by expressing some deep lessons and inner soul teaching thorough verse and poetry is a gift I welcomed in as I came to the end of this book. It is my intention to shine love and light into the darkest aspects of self, so we each can shift, be it the abuser, the victim, we are all one and all deserve to be loved. They are both our teachers as we come back to love.

I have no attachment to it and let it go and I am blessed.

My name is Zoe Bell and this is my story. My nickname is Pinky, pink and proud by nature and yes playful and cheeky! I am allowing you into a deeper understanding of my adventures of awakening, as I believe that by sharing my story, others will resonate and have permission to open into who they are at their core. This will start to open the doorway back to the empowered, sensual, and vibrant you, your spirit in free expression. So let’s begin with a fun game as playfulness is a key to letting go of what no longer serves and truly stepping into the empowered and beautiful you, man or woman.

• What was the name of your first pet?

• What was the first street that you lived in?

Voila… this is your porn name and one you can use throughout your inward journey- if you chose this mission!

This is exactly how I arrived at my name and it is so fitting to my nature. I have never done porn, and the purpose is to invite you to be playful and curious as we go on this adventure together. I had a Guinea pig given to me as a birthday present by my first childhood boyfriend and we lived in a street called Fairway! I have showed you mine now it’s your turn.

What is your porn name?

As you will see from the book my own particular journey continues to awaken, open, let go of, expand to even deeper levels of bliss and joy as I am writing, more and more opportunities for teaching and growth happens in the here and now.

Now some of the things in here may not make sense to you initially, so be patient, simply know that this is the book you’ve been drawn to, you may not know WHY, simply go with it, a message is about to be unwrapped as both you and I know that on some level you’re ready for what I’m saying. I have been blessed to drawn on the experiences of the wide range of women I’ve had the honour to work with, and the greatest lessons and insights were from my colourful journey, back to me.

What I invite you to do here is to trust your intuition, meaning to Tune-in, check-in and feel into your inner self and inner calling. If you feel threatened or confronted at any time just remind yourself that all you need to do is to become curious about whatever comes up for you, often the things that we react to has a deeper meaning at a soul level, either to be healed, acknowledged or courageously honoured.

My intention is to create a safe and open space to explore your unique journey of self-exploration of desires and communicating them, this requires taking personal responsibility. This is key to gaining personal inner freedom and an evolution back to you.

Curiosity is the tool to open the door to a future you may not yet be even remotely able to envisage. You never know what you’ll find out about yourself if you’re open to whatever comes up. Fear, shame and denial on the other hand are the kinds of things that will keep you closed down. If you experience any resistance to your calling to be free, I am here to support you in this great journey back to yourself. If this is what is coming up for you as you embark on this beautiful journey, my contact details are at the end of the book.

I give my clients the tools so they no longer need me; this is empowerment in its greatest form, as we become our own inner guru. I have had friends come forward in the past to hear what I am up to and then I see that they too have awakened a deeper level, within. That is exciting to observe as they are expressing their own unique gifts in their own way.

While writing the book, I shared with my family many deep truths about my past experiences in sexuality, which is irrelevant to print, as they are all labels right, and I am accepting of all diversities. Even though I love all beings, I know in my heart that I am destined to be with an evolved man with whom I share a deep spiritual connection and explore everywhere in between those depths. I feel we are within a sexual evolution, and revolution of self where there are more choices and an invitation to become more curious as we may have all lived many lives as both man and woman.

This is about removing the bullshit rules that society has placed upon our sensuality, sexuality and the freedom to explore without the guilt. This has created a limited mindset of shame, thinking we are not normal. What is normal anyway? Life works in cycles and this feels like the 60’s again, or how I imagine the freedom of the 60’s to be. Free expression of sexuality and an explosion of opening the doorway to expanded states of consciousness. This exploration is with clear thinking, drug free!

Sexuality and sensuality is as normal as exploring what foods we love, how to move our body and connect with our natural environment. For many of us, we may have been shamed by experimenting through touch when we were small; and for some as toddlers with other toddlers. Sensuality is also the gateway to unlock the creative spirited self.

I decided to write this book because people were asking me how I came to be vibrant, awakened, confident and wise. I found both men and women being drawn to my magnetic sexual energy and many successful men drawn to my sensual allure and magnetism. Many were married, so I started to look into it at a deeper level as I realised that I had a unique gift to share with women, so they could step more into a more curious and spirited woman, if they choose to.

This will awaken both women and men from the inside out and knowing what I know, will reduce the separation rate, reduce inner suffering, deepen intimacy and open up fearless communication. Friends were curious to how I had never gone on, on-line dating and how I have an ability to manifest exactly what I was putting out, to experience and to gain a deeper insight into the question I was asking. I realized that most people are searching for answers to the question of how to get this feeling for themselves in all the wrong places. I have to be mindful what I think about.

My mission is to bring this widespread awareness and to answer the questions that many may not want to ask. The answer is inside of you. For me to get here, I had to change that which I was being, in other words, remove the masks and blocks of illusion.

It’s only when you can start taking responsibility for everything that happens to you, that you’ll be able to tap into the fullness of your being-ness. If you start feeling confused or confronted, think of that as being an exciting place to be. This is the place just before really opening up.

While I have been writing this book, beautiful souls are coming forward and offering their services, their bodies, their creative talents, so know that what is contained within is both potent and powerful, this will unleash and start the ball rolling. This will draw to you all that you desire, once you get to tap into that sweet nectar within, so when you want to learn more and truly unleash your inner free spirit as a man and woman then I am at your service.

The following chapters approach this mission from the starting point of the importance of the mind body, soul, and spirit connection as a way into your sexuality. You’ll be guided into becoming accountable for everything you attract into your life, and you’ll find that forgiveness for whatever you think it is you’ve done wrong. This may be the first step towards living a life of freedom in general and free sexual expression in particular.

Throughout this book; it is vital to know your boundaries; as this is a vital step towards empowerment as both a man and woman. The ability to say no, take action and only do what feels good in the moment and that feels safe energetically.

I answer the question about how I came to be so awake by acknowledging that I needed to draw in the right teachers at the right time, and that they were perfectly good and perfectly bad depending on my needs. At the end of the day, the men that treated me like crap were providing me with the contrast I needed to be aware of and to be able to see the light that I had forgotten and to feel, own and embrace the dark with loving kindness, in order to be whole. This was about realizing that my experience was reflecting how I was valuing myself.

It was only when I was able to put down the blame, shame and guilt and start learning to love myself that things started to open up for me. I have to also add here that there is no such thing as good and bad, they are simply labels and put things into a box, which thus creates a separation from the whole, (more on this later).

Even now teachers are popping up in my life that are challenging my boundaries and the gifts they are presenting me with; are keys to my heart and soul calling. Everyday my heart opens and expands even more as I trust in the process un-folding; a gift waiting to be opened and explored, as it’s a never-ending journey. It’s about thinking outside of the box, and being prepared to stop jumping through other people’s hoops and to follow your own truth and dream. Each day I let go even more and free fall forward, in to a new adventure, I still have some things come out to challenge my inner growth, there is no fucking hiding!

"You have to loose yourself, to find yourself,

No one else can put you together,

It is an inside job."

My aim for you is to be able to express with confidence what you want, desire and deserve and to start exploring this great adventure of who you are. It’s your basic human right to be living fully as a human being.

If you rock up and open yourself to what I’m sharing, you’ll be learning to love who you are; to un-leash you’re creative and sensual free spiritual side.

Every aspect of who you are as an energetic being living in a human body here on beautiful planet earth. This is about to become the beautiful journey that you deserve, back to the beautiful you. It is time to bring union with the mind, body, sensual soul and spirit and live a life of freedom and infinite love.

So choose to step forwards fearlessly. It’s you and I and this is your adventure. Trust that life will never be the same again, that is a given.

It is time to create a deeper level of intimacy within yourself and others.

Suffering is part of our training program for becoming wise

Ram Dass

There will be many people that come into your life, soul messengers, soul connections and they may come in as fast as they leave, It is never about the other person, it all comes back to you!

They are the beautiful mirrors to assist you in remembering what you may have forgotten, let-go of, heal and Love.

You know what

You are Zoe

YOU are beautiful

You are life

You should always fill your SOUL with pleasures you desire.

Your smile is your heart

It is okay to cherish you and your dreams.

Allow your SPIRIT to run free,

Beautiful life you are.

The Apache Soul Messenger.

Part 1

Chapter 1

My Blueprint for Life

Suffering is created from resistance to our incarnation

Ram Dass.

Before I start, I chose to be reincarnated into this body and life so I could heal soul lifetimes of karmic debt and learn valuable life lessons. I am still learning, growing, evolving and I am far from perfect. The lessons were perfect for my growth and inner healing and to unleash the gifts and wisdom. I am lucky to have experienced and worked through so much, so from this transparency you will gain an insight into what I have learnt and most vital, how you can shift. This may be different to your own beliefs, I am not here to change your beliefs, this is my opinion and view on how I see it and at the end of the day the lessons are the same. No matter what our beliefs we are all here learning, growing and evolving.

I have a deep knowing and feeling that I am never coming back and am here to be the guiding light for many. I have been many things, a strong resonance with the fairy realm, plants and nature and I chose this soul path. I have strong resonance with other lifetimes, in a different body and space time reality, the lessons have been the same and finally I believe that I have stopped my personal Karmic merry-go round of suffering.

Before you enter into my story I would like to ask you this, if I may?

☐ Do you care what happened to you?

☐ Do you feel trapped or tied to your past?

☐ Do you connect more with others in a group who share your past story?

☐ Do you wear and carry your story around with you?

☐ Does your story define you?

There is no right or wrong answer. This will be a barometer to gauge where you are currently at as I take you on a journey into the lessons and insights gained along the way. At the time, the lessons felt painful and harsh; there is a process to being able and ready to see and I am here to give you the tools and life raft, as it is not all calm clear waters and I am far from perfect. The journey never ends!

For many years I wore my heart and story on my sleeve, the bag was heavy and I brought others with me, this has changed, as I am not my story! So have left much out as really it is irrelevant to where I stand now and there are beautiful souls that I wish to protect, as they too journey through life.

My Childhood

Growing up in The United Kingdom; I like many teenagers; struggled with developing a healthy body image and like many young women, thought there was something wrong with me. I felt different…. I developed the body of a woman young (10 years old) and it took along time to;

"Learn to love the skin and sin I was in

and learn that sin was created internally".

People who knew me when I was young, who now see photos of me, do not recognise the woman I am now. I have changed to vibrate happiness from the inside out. Beauty happens from within and starts with our mind and how we see ourselves. Our thoughts impact our D.N.A (Genetic code)- more on this later. I looked like I was having fun, yet on the inside I was lost and the thought, where do I belong?.

Like a chameleon I took on many different looks, re-creating whom I thought I needed to be every time we moved, in an attempt to fit into who others were being, as I wanted to belong and fit in somewhere! I thought I had to fit in and this was another perfect key to where I now stand, to walk this path alone, my way, and then walk side by side when the right one comes along. My story and life are like chapters in a book, doors now closed never to be opened and like many lives rolled into one, which was a challenge to put in any order as there are blanked out and blacked out spots in my memory, a survival so I didn’t go into complete mental and emotional shut down from the trauma. It is beautiful how I now have a way to interweave the stories and experiences into poems, so there is no specific time frame, as many experiences are sensitive and yes these dark aspects of story need to be heard, so others can relate and then be inspired to shift, this is my intention, so you too can find your voice in a constructive manner. Each of our voices needs to be heard, especially if you have had a flavor or powerlessness, hopelessness and worthlessness as part of your journey!

As a teenager and young adult I was like a whirlwind, moving from drama to drama, accident to accident, trauma to trauma, while also achieving much in music and sport. On the inside I felt lost, sad, rebelling against a different belief systems, and like many rebellious teens chose to be an atheist for a few months. I chose to go against the grain, to do anything to not fit it and be diversely different! Later on, my creative and artistic talents were pushed away and replaced with destructive ways to numb out.

Welcome to the karmic merry-go-round that keeps spinning round and round, bringing other similar events at accelerated speed, yet dressed up in a different way - You get stuck here until the lesson is learnt.

I knew there was a higher power, something greater than what I was being shown, a higher purpose, so my family and their personal beliefs were the perfect contrast for what I was here to discover. They are beautiful souls and I love them dearly and I also chose my family before coming into this body. I rebelled at the idea of church and I held my parents’ belief to wait to have sex until I was married. As a teenager I was rebellious of authority, felt different to the norm and was trying to find my place in the world. I felt drawn to hippies, which is the closest thing to being spiritual and was drawn to Paganism. Looking back it was the freedom, dancing around fires, naked and free and ceremony that appealed to my nature, it was a fantasy away from my reality.

I was curious and sexually inquisitive from a young age and grew up in a household with our Mum and my older sister and our father who was the local General Practitioner. Like many children I was intrigued by the difference between girls and boys.

I loved to dance when we had guests, dancing, doing plays and twirling my body to music. Dancing was a passion and I am a natural performer. Even as a baby, I lived life by my own rules, walking at eight months old. I would apparently swing in and out of the bedroom window over a big drop each morning, which later, much to my mum’s horror, found out from their neighbour; I was four years old. My sister taught me how to jump out of my cot and would playfully play a game of, push me down the stairs in the Ali-Babar washing basket, which I would scream with laughter, our parents’ were oblivious to this at the time. There was an abundance of highly charged energy, adventure and my mum steered me towards activities to burn off the excess energy so I had opportunities to express safely. I was fearless and ready to take on the world on a big adventure from a very young age. I would swing upside down and around on the washing line and was very much like a cheeky monkey. I was active, happy until I dropped, often being found curled up with our Labrador dog, snuggled up asleep in his bed. Hence, why I still love the smell of wet dogs.

My memory from before six years old is blurry and mostly recollected from pictures. So where did it all start falling apart?

Dad had a three-year affair, living a double life until I was six years old, until the truth came out. I put my dad on a pedestal and looked up to him as my hero. I created an imaginary dream inside my mind of how he would be. I felt disappointment after disappointment and longed for the daddy - daughter relationship. I would push him away and he didn’t know how to reach me. We were hurting within and had lost our way to reach one another.

I tasted abandonment and this was to be my karmic journey to finally heal at the age of forty-four years young, I finally broke free and learnt the lesson.

I was being introduced to compassion, forgiveness and had the taste of abandonment within the mind of a child. There was a deep numbing and disconnect from the once free spirited and playful child, my foundations of safety and belonging shattered, like many children in this situation I felt confused, hurt and wanting my parents’ to be back together, it was my one wish growing up.

These daddy issues later transferred into my other relationships with men: The hurt of abandonment and rejection started to manifest into deep-rooted anger and resentment.

It was not until three weeks before my dad left his physical body that I forgave him, my dad said sorry, we hugged and we cried together and on that day our souls were set free. I feel blessed that I got to fly from Australia to England to complete this process. My sister never got the opportunity, as she was pregnant and 30 minutes before he passed over, she gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, my beautiful niece and Goddaughter. As one soul departs another soul enters this universal plane, two adventures of new beginnings.

I learnt to forgive.

My Dad was also teaching me to always follow my heart and soul.

Until we meet again.

The following Symptoms that will follow will paint a picture of how the illnesses and accidents manifested and were a reflection of my inner world (thoughts, emotions and beliefs) and I came across many years ago while reading the brilliant work of Louise L. Hay and her great book/bible, You Can Heal Your Life. These will be highlighted. This is an idea of perception and one that resonated with my soul truth, allow it to be what it needs to be for you. There many also be other factors at play to create the symptoms, In life it is never black and white, it an array of many aspects.

As a toddler I had a 60% hearing deficit.

Deafness: What you don’t want to hear? Don’t bother me

The deafness is interesting as I was highly independent and was an explorer and had a mind of my own. I know why I am here and I can walk alone, a powerful creator, as we all are!

My first day of school at 5, I proudly pulled up my dress and innocently showed my bright red knickers to the headmaster, with the Do you like my new knickers Mr T?, I loved those red knickers a lot. I recall being reminded of this when I went back for work experience 12 years later at 17!

I laughed, Laughter is a great medicine. Later on we had sparkly Garry Glitter knickers!!

We played strip shows and also had many disco dance off’s to Grease playing in the background and I recall at school jumping up on the tables and dancing to Grease lightening. On the flip-side we were also making go-carts and having street races with the other boys in our street and neighborhood and would get scuffed knees from climbing trees, building dens, swimming in the river with stickle-back fish and coming home with leaches stuck to our body from our adventures in the river and nature. We were active children and I would often be found upside down on our clothes washing line, spinning around. We would often pick flowers for the little old lady who lived opposite us, we would pick flowers form her garden and then go in and see her to visit, she would give us biscuits, a few silver coins so we could but some Bubbly chewing gum and some 2 pence lollies. She welcomed our playful energy and it we loved visiting her. I played the cello from the age of 4 years old, went to Ballet, Gymnastics and we did much art/creativity/dance and drama with our mum, she is the best!

As children we played out what we thought sex sounded and looked this, Action man and a collection of Cindy dolls, she was the super cool doll of the 70’s before Barbie came along. No offense Barbie, but Cindy was 10 times better. Yes children play out games…. The same way that children explore different sensations in their bodies, it is normal and a part of healthy development as we learn through play.

We also made mud pies and ate worms, went on adventures on our pushbikes and there was much creative free play growing up. I am proud to say that I had a chopper, it was purple and had a flag on the back of it, it was so cool. We were loving children who had pet rabbits, guinnie pigs and dogs. We lost many of the animals as they got out of their cages over night and were eaten by the local cat? How we had many burials of them and even a wedding for the guinnie pigs.

My children recently came home and told me how they had the police come to the school and one of the things they addressed was Inappropriate playing with dolls amongst a list of other things.

It really got my back up, with a WTF internal reaction as I want to know if another adult is making my child feel shame, guilt or blame around a healthy and normal self-exploration in play. I believe many are unaware of the potential negative impact that they can create with this. Making something so normal into an act of shame and wrongdoing will create more of that. It creates the pervert, the peeping tom who has to sneak to look at porn or others, as they feel not worthy and guilt with their desires. Allow children to explore and maybe introduce that there are some things we do in private, with no shame attached! I let it go and discussed it with my children, as at the end of the day, everything else they do is fantastic and awesome.

I shared the story about explorative play with my dolls to my children so they can see it is normal exploration, I always want to have the door open, so any question they ask, I will give an honest, direct and safe explanation, if you lie you are loosing their trust and also respect. Yes there are also some things that you can say, that your personal business, you are not their mate, more a loving guide and go to. It is an important piece of being free to explore through play and not make a big deal out of it. I like to keep it real with them! They are balanced, beautiful children and I want them to feel they can approach me on any topic.

Recreating normal?

Why can’t we be one big happy family?

Live in one home, together as one?

I like to swap my friends,

Some better for soccer,

Others better for super-hero games,

And sometimes we all play,

Together as great friends.

There is no fighting,

No jealousy,

No under siding,

Life is quite simple,

Everyone happy,

Together as one.

So we played a game,

Like one happy family,

Innocence of a little girl lost,

A sweet five or six,

Acting of the affair,

Even being caught in the act.

Snuggling close,

Her boyfriends both,

Holding her close,

Never to part.

A game to feel normal again,

Never a struggle, a place for us all,

Lying back on the grassy playground hill,

Playing the game of one happy family.

We innocently made sense of the mess,

Clutching to hope and love in my heart,

Needing to feel close

Yet miles apart,

Whole world turned upside down,

Oh what a mess.

The man I adored, no longer there,

Specific times now booked in for a special cuddle,

Never available in a time of need,

Tucking me into bed,

Stroking my hair with tender affection,

The bedtime story read,

Snuggles at bedtime,

Never to be felt again.

My mum falling apart,

Confused