Just Be Yourself: A Story Inspiring You to Transform Your Self-Sabotaging Thought Patterns into the Extraordinary Power of Being and Feeling Complete
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Knowing others is wisdom;
Knowing the self is enlightenment.
(Lao Tsu. Tao Te Ching, Sutra 33)
If you are seeking self-development, growth and transformation on a soul level, self-knowledge is the key. It has always been the key. Throughout the ages, prophets and mystics have called it different things: meditation, self-observation, watching or self-actualization. It is the key that opens the door to freedom from self-inflicted unhappiness. But it comes with a price; the courage to observe ourselves objectively so we can see ourselves just as we are. Not as we imagine ourselves to be, not as we wish we could be, not as we pretend to be in front of others, but just as we are.
Because we are not aware of how repetitive and mechanical our thinking patterns really are, we unconsciously let them sabotage our happiness, our relationships and our world. The story of Melodie allows us to observe these unconscious patterns and the extent to which we remain at their mercy. Until we understand ourselves and transform the unconscious patterns into conscious understanding, these self-sabotaging thought patterns control our lives.
Melodies intent to remember who she really is, takes us on a journey of awakening from the belief in duality consciousness to the experience of unity consciousness that lies dormant as a seed in the heart of each and every one of us.
Melodie Dubois
Melodie Dubois formerly worked in the Corporate world. In 1999, she discovered Brandon Bays and began a journey of self-knowledge and self-remembering. In September 2015, after years of searching for the key to freedom from her ego patterns, Melodie is graced with the direct experience to her quest and shares the answers she received.
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Just Be Yourself - Melodie Dubois
Copyright © 2017 Melodie Dubois.
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.
Balboa Press
A Division of Hay House
1663 Liberty Drive
Bloomington, IN 47403
www.balboapress.com.au
1 (877) 407-4847
Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.
The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional, or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself, which is your constitutional right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.
Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.
Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.
ISBN: 978-1-5043-0871-7 (sc)
ISBN: 978-1-5043-0872-4 (e)
Balboa Press rev. date: 08/16/2017
Contents
Dedication
Preface
Introduction
Acknowledgments
Epigraph
Book Structure
Key Terms
A Flash Of Insight
Chapter I The Mask Of Innocence
The Victim
Dances With The Judge
—Martin
The Helper
Dances With The Enthusiast
—Richard
The Helper
Dances With The Loyalist
—Thomas
Chapter 2 The Mask Of I Know For Sure
The Helper
Continues To Dance With The Loyalist
—Thomas
Chapter 3 Studying The Masks Of Fragmentation
Enneagram Basics—How It Works
The Average Type Two
The Average Type Two: The Role
The Average Type Two: What We See Versus What We Do Not See
The Unhealthy Type Two: What I Call The Trap Or The Saboteur’s Agenda
The Unhealthy Type Two – A Snap Shot Of The Trap
The Unhealthy Type Two: What We See Versus What We Do Not See
Disintegration For Type Two—An Opportunity For Self-Realization
Integration For Type Two: Under The Banner Of Self-Awareness
The Healthy Type Two
Highest Level Of Integration For Type Two: Under The Banner Of Humility
Highest Level Of Integration For Type Two
The New Kingdom For Type Two
The Average Type One
The Average Type One: The Role
The Average Type One: What We See Versus What We Do Not See
The Unhealthy Type One: What I Call The Trap Or The Saboteur’s Agenda
The Unhealthy Type One: A Snap Shot Of The Trap
The Unhealthy Type One: What We See Vs What We Don’t See
Disintegration For Type One—An Opportunity For Self-Realization
Integration For Type One: Under The Banner Of Compassion
The Healthy Type One
Highest Level Of Integration For Type One: Under The Banner Of Serenity
Highest Level Of Integration For Type One
The New Kingdom For Type One
Chapter 4 History Repeating Itself—Nelson
My Addiction For Feeling Loved Overpowers Everything
Trapped With No Way Out
Fairy Dust In Our Eyes
Paradise On Earth Spoiled
No Right To Blame Anyone Else
Is This What Life Is About?
Chapter 5 The Harmonic Being Awakens
A State Beyond The Mind
Letting Go Of The Mask
How To Define The Undefinable
Finding That Which Was Always Complete
Realising My Conditioned Opinions Do Not Know The Way
What Really Holds Us Together
Being Our Complete And Awake Selves
The Completeness Of Harmony
Reality Does Not Need Words To Exist
The Gift Of Just Being
Chapter 6 The Unified Composer Is Creating Harmonies
What It Means To Be Fearless
From Only Hearing To Actually Listening
Being The Harmony
Epilogue A Story Of Alchemy
The Apple Who Thought It Could Never Be A Tree
DEDICATION
I dedicate this book to my three children. You have always inspired me to be the best that I can be.
For many years I struggled to understand why I was compelled to do certain things, especially those things that did not bring us together. This book answers many of the contradictions that imprisoned me.
By shedding light on my own prison of false beliefs and finding the key to unlock that door, I hope to inspire you to understand your own journey home to the freedom and harmony that lie at the heart of your true nature.
Although my parents won’t be able to read this book in the traditional sense, I know they have been by my side, helping and guiding me to remember the gift and power to just be.
PREFACE
This book consciously started 18 years ago after a series of life-changing workshops with Brandon Bays, author of the book, The Journey.
In one of those workshops, called the No Ego Retreat
, Brandon introduced us to an ancient wisdom and personality typology called the Enneagram. This typology reveals nine distinct personality types and offers direction for individual growth and transformation. This wisdom goes back to the most-studied mystical writers and was described as a way to heal the human soul. Brandon described it as an understanding of who we are not.
This discovery of who I am not was the beginning of a search to understand who I am.
Because I had the good fortune to experience glimpses of my spiritual origin (or Source
as Brandon calls it), I wanted to understand intellectually what I had experienced so I could make sense of my experience and provide a framework for my intellect to not block the expression of the spiritual being I knew myself to be.
I wanted to understand what stood between me and my ability to be that spiritual self I had experienced. I embarked on a quest to uncover what was separating me from living as that being of clarity I had experienced and knew existed within me.
This journey of understanding proved to be my life’s biggest challenge. As I pursued my studies of this ancient knowledge, I realised that my behaviour and reactions were largely mechanical, as if I were living life on automatic. Instead of being the free human being I had thought myself to be, I reacted to habitual and self-sabotaging patterns that made me go around in circles, attracting painful and repetitive circumstances.
For years I pursued my studies through books, research, writing and self-observation; yet, sadly, I had to admit my failure. I was still trapped in my reactive ego patterns and had not found the key to escaping the grip of what I later called the Saboteur
.
Why was I unable to gain this freedom from the ego I was seeking, despite all my research and heartfelt intent?
Totally unexpectedly and at a particularly difficult time in my life, the Universe graced me with the answer to my quest in a series of dreams or insights that felt like the direct experience of the answers I had been seeking.
From that very first dream
, I not only knew the answer to my questions but also realised that the key to my deepest desires was already within me. In that experience of completeness, beyond duality, I was the answer I had been seeking.
I also realised that this state of being was a choice, a conscious choice, which I alone was capable of, and responsible for, feeling and making. This choice was simply to be myself; and the self was the harmonic*, conscious self, unencumbered by the Saboteur’s thought patterns. In that experience of the freedom to be my true harmonic self, I was the miracle for which I had been waiting.
Differentiating between the conditioned thoughts of the Saboteur and my true harmonic self, had been my conundrum; it was no longer.
Sharing this delicate, yet all-important, distinction is my purpose for this book. For years I tried to understand how to gain this freedom I was so intent on finding. Once I came to grips with translating my experience of that freedom into words, I realised I had spent my life seeking something I had thought was lost.
That sense of loss had been a lie created by my Saboteur. It is this specific lie—on which the structure of one’s ego is built—that I want my readers to understand. Uncovering, and then living without, that lie and false structure, are the greatest and most empowering gifts you will ever give yourself.
Melodie Dubois
Scotland Island
Australia
5 February 2017
INTRODUCTION
This book is a journey of discovery into our true identity and purpose in this life. It is a book about freedom: yours and mine.
I always wanted to live my life according to my true purpose; but I had to go through a process of uncovering the erroneous purpose invented by my Saboteur to open the door to my true purpose and freedom; that is, freedom from my unconscious conditioning and false beliefs.
This book takes you on a journey, my journey of discovering how I lived my life unaware of, and oblivious to, the patterns dictated by my specific Saboteur. You will travel the road of my specific confusion, called a Type Two in Enneagram terminology, and discover one of the nine deceptive and self-sabotaging ways in which we build barriers within ourselves and create destructive rather than constructive behaviours.
These deceptive patterns hide inside our thoughts and make us react and behave in ways that are contrary to who we are and that attract the opposite of what we truly want. These patterns block our understanding under a heavy cloud of confusion and misconceptions.
These nine patterns, disguised inside our thoughts and beliefs, and masquerading as us, are the Saboteur
. They take nine different self-sabotaging forms, which I call the masks
in the book. These masks, as thought forms, increasingly replace our true identity and who we believe ourselves to be.
The Saboteur is with us on that journey of life; but, because we are not aware of the Saboteur and are not aware of its sabotaging role, we get increasingly confused and disheartened—confused because we identify with these masks that are not who we are and disheartened because, unbeknown to us, these masks make us behave and react in ways that attract the opposite of what we truly want and of who we truly are.
Because we have unconsciously accepted our—Saboteur’s thoughts as our own, we now believe we have to defend this double—this self-sabotaging entity—and develop a me
versus not me
persona. The me
we like and accept is the conscious me
we think we are; and the unconscious me
we dislike and do not accept is the not me
, who other people see and who we tend to deny and reject. Studies carried out by neuroscientists reveal that 95 to 99 per cent of brain activity is beyond our conscious awareness. We are thus unconscious of most of our decisions, emotions, actions and behaviour.
We have become mechanical beings—self-destructive and destructive to others. Because these unconscious patterns are a part of our thoughts, we are compelled to defend them and go deeper into the specific contradictions and divisions of these nine different thinking patterns.
Innocently and unconsciously, we follow the Saboteur’s leadership and allow the unconscious mind