Waking Up: Lessons Learned Through My Adventures with Life and Breast Cancer

By Anne Dennish

"Waking Up" is an up-close and personal look at one woman's journey throughout life and breast cancer. She shares intimate stories of divorce, relationships, children, addiction and more, as well as her private journal of her battle with breast cancer.
This is a book that has something for everyone. The author shares personal short stories and quotes of her experiences in handling the good times and the bad. "Waking Up" will tell you how this one woman learned to handle them all with grace, dignity, love and a lot of laughter.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Feb 25, 2016
• ISBN: 9781514467251

Anne Dennish

Anne Dennish is the author of “Waking Up: Lessons Learned Through My Adventures With Life and Breast Cancer” and two more published works. She lives on the West Coast of Florida.

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Copyright © 2016 by Anne Dennish.

Library of Congress Control Number:   2016903204

   ISBN:   Hardcover   978-1-5144-6723-7

      Softcover   978-1-5144-6724-4

      eBook   978-1-5144-6725-1

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Rev. date: 02/23/2016

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CONTENTS

Introduction

Lessons Learned

Through My Adventures

With Life

First and Foremost: Find Your Funny

When Social Networking Becomes Social Not Working

Giving Your Day Away

I'm Having a Girl Moment

What Makes a Man a Man

A Little Crazy Goes A Long Way in a Day!

The Naked Truth About Being Naked!

Dreaming

Those That Dare

The Waiting Game

The Differences: Embrace Them or Replace Them

Be the Doorbell, Not the Doormat

Down the Explain Drain

Caution: Don't Feed The Ego!

I'm Sorry, But I'm Not

Free Will

The Discomfort Zone

Don't Shoot Your I Out

The True Colors of Relationships

Life After Life After Life

The Mind of a Heart

What is Love?

The Ghosts of Relationships Past

A State of Affairs

Sometimes We Go Back

Why Wasn't I Good Enough

Ignorance and Bliss

Pulling the Trigger

It's Time to Say Good-Bye

Letting Go

Moving Forward

The Truth Seeker

Thinking

The Ultimate Test of Trust

Time Frame

Beautiful Boy

Fallen Angel

Grief Stricken

Under the Tree

A Letter to My Children

Ruthless People

Preach It, Teach It...Then Reach for It

Caution: You're About to Make a Memory

I Wish I Had Never...

The Voice of the Ocean

Beliefs

Lessons Learned

Through My Adventures

with Breast Cancer

A Note from the Author

A Bump in the Road to My Happiness...Day One

A Bump on the Road to My Happiness... Day Two

A Bump on the Road to My Happiness... Day Three

Biopsy Day for the Bump in My Road to Happiness

Biopsy... Done!

It's More Than A Bump in the Road to My Happiness

The Unveiling

For Today, There's Peace

Anxiously Awaiting

The Waiting is Over; The Results Are In

A Glimmer of Hope

Taking the Day Off

Just When You Thought It Was Safe... WTF!

Those Who Matter Don't Mind

This Is The Time of My Life

It's All In Your Perspective

Save The Date

When Your Breasts' Do The Talking!

Second Opinions Lead to Different Decisions

Oh, The Things You Will Think When You Have Cancer!

My Point of Impact

The Pro's and Con's of Cancer!

My Mountain is Waiting...Tomorrow's the Day

And The Climb Has Begun...

Life Still Goes On

You Can Always Change, No Matter Your Age

It's Like An Arranged Marriage

Behind the Wheel at Wall Stadium!

Charlotte's Web...Make that Anne's Web!

The Breast Cancer Club

Breast Cancer... The Time Warp

Home is Where...

If These Wigs Could Talk

The Surgery

53 and Cancer-Free!

Last Day of Radiation

Last Treatment

My Port-O-Call Girl

Now What?

Fits Like a Glove

The Lessons of the Adventures

Before I say good-bye...

With love and gratitud

e to:

My children: Eric, Emma, Dan, Noah and Sam

My love, Rob Contreras

My closest tribe of friends: Lesley, Liz, Terilyn and Colleen

My Angel girls:

Bobbi, Maura, Ann, Robin, Livie, Diane, Sysco, Linda, Doreen & Delaney

You've been an inspiration to me and this book was possible

because of each and every one of you.

~Anne Dennish~

~This book is

dedicated to the people who put me through hell, only to make me realize who the people are that make me feel like I'm in heaven.~

Introduction

This book was born out of heartache, heartbreak, lies, truth, friends showing their true colors, and from my journey with breast cancer.

It's not a book of pity or one that requires sympathy; while it may have been born out of not so good experiences, it taught me a lot about who I am, how strong I am, and most importantly, it taught me how to love myself.

It doesn't really matter what it was born out of; what matters is that it's alive and kicking! This book is here to make a difference to someone who has been through what I have or has found themselves in situations similar to my own.

I don't mind having gone through rough times or cancer; I simply don't want it to have been in vain. I believe all things, good and bad, happen for a reason, and if this book was one of them, then all I have gone through had a purpose: to inspire, heal, or give a new perspective to someone who may need one.

My hope is that this book will touch at least one person and change their life for the better, because if I can do that, I'll know the reason that this book was born; and I'll know the reason that I was born too!

With love,

~Anne Dennish~

A dreamer is a realist with faith.

Anne Dennish

"One day I woke up, changed my direction, and wrote this book

about the journey."

Lessons Learned

Through My Adventures

With Life

First and Foremost: Find Your Funny

As I was putting this book together, I was wondering which story to begin it with. Many thoughts crossed my mind as to the right story, and through all that thinking and wondering I remembered the one thing I always tell people who are going through a difficult time: find your funny.

So, as I begin this very first chapter of Waking Up, I say to you, no matter what difficult situation you are in, around, or working through, it's so important to find your funny in it, and that's what you will find as you read this book, that no matter what situation I'm writing about, the best way to deal with it is to find something funny in it. If you can learn to do this, you will attack and handle every situation that comes your way with grace, dignity, and a good laugh or two! It's in the darkest times that we need to remember the power of laughter, the intent of a smile, the sweetness of accepting what is, and what we can do about it. Laughing through something doesn't make it less important in your life; laughing makes it easier to handle.

I'm not saying that it's always easy to do, and sometimes it takes some time before you're able to look back on something and find its' funny, yet what I'm saying is that it can be done, even for some of the worst situations.

I had to find my funny when I lost my hair from chemo. I knew that morning that it was beginning to fall out in strands, so I cried a little bit and slept throughout most of the day. I kept reminding myself that I had to find my funny, even though at the time this wasn't funny to me at all. So, as you'll read in Forget Charlottes' Web near the end of this book, I found my funny in the car with my son, as strand upon strand was blowing throughout the car. The funny came about when he thought it was a spider web, only to realize it was my hair! There was my funny!

There's times when you have a day that everything and anything can go wrong! It's difficult when one thing after another happens all at once, yet you can find your funny. When people say to me what are the odds I always answer: in my life, very good! We both get a chuckle from that.

Divorce? Well, I'm divorced twice, and my funny there is that I will tell people that breast cancer was easier than two divorces; at least with the cancer, you know going in what you're up against and what had to be done. Divorce? Not so much! See, there's a little funny in a not so funny situation.

I know that there are times that tears need to be shed, hearts will be broken, and we will feel hurt or sadness through difficult times. That's normal and healthy, yet my whole theory behind finding your funny is that it's alright to laugh, to smile, to even joke about all those situations and feelings you're going through. To me, once you've gone through it, or while still in it, if you can find your funny then you have found your strength, and you will have known you've gotten through it.

Laughter is truly the best medicine, and life is all about our perspective. Change what you can and make peace with what you can't. Life happens to us all, and we're all in this together, learning and growing throughout this journey we call life. And above all else, remember this:

First and foremost, find your funny!

When Social Networking Becomes Social Not Working

I would bet that most of you reading this book are, or have been, part of a social networking site. It's a rare occasion that I meet someone who isn't. There seems to be so many avenues of social networking all over the internet lately; depending on your age usually determines which site you're a player on.

Yet first, let me be perfectly clear about something: I am not bashing these sites whatsoever; I am part of a few myself. What I will say is that, as a writer and avid people watcher, I have paid close attention to these sites and the actions of the people on them. It's actually intriguing when you begin to analyze and watch with a different perspective; objectively watching, that is.

There's good and bad with social networking, and I've been on both sides of the coin. I think that they can be a wonderful tool at keeping friends and family closely connected, especially when the distance between them requires a plane ticket or mass transit. It's wonderful for business and causes; it's great for invitations to social events that you're a part of; it's even important when those in need require help from others. That's the best part of it all; it keeps us all connected and up to date on what our friends and family are doing.

Now for the not so good side of it, and this is one I apprehensively write about, as I don't want to offend my friends or family by expressing my observations. However, with that being said, I've seen or heard of sites being the catalyst that can ruin friendships, relationships, and even marriages. I've seen and heard about it happening. The sad part is that the site itself is not the cause, it's the person who uses it for all the wrong reasons. We've heard of the stalkers on it, and just when you think you know all the people on your site, you find out that some use fake names to watch what you're doing; some hack your account. This is the downside of the internet: we expose ourselves to everyone on the internet, no matter how cautious you are or how locked in you believe your personal site to be. When used for the wrong reasons, it can cause some major problems within your life, and isn't that ironic that this on line life we have can cross right into your real life.

For example, if you wouldn't cheat on someone in real life, why would you do it on the internet? If you wouldn't tell someone off in real life, why would you do it on your site? I believe the problem is that we tend to think that the rules in life are different than the rules of the internet, and this is so not true! The boundaries you have in your life should be the same, yet I watch all these people making comments, or constantly liking something that they have no business doing. Trust in a healthy relationship can become an issue through the internet. Most people don't share passwords, so this is one big leap of faith and trust!

One of the biggest things I've been watching lately is what and who certain people like and what they don't. I've noticed that someone will always like a member of the opposite sexes post, yet won't like a post if their spouse or significant other is in it. It's almost as if they're defying the other party in this couple by making a statement, which is: I had him/her first, and I'm not going to like anything with you in it, just him/her. Most people like that wouldn't take the time or have the nerve in the real world to make that statement, yet hand them a computer and let their games begin. It may not seem like much to some, yet to others and myself, it's annoying, can be hurtful, and just plain pisses you off!

You can look, but don't' like.

If you feel the need to stalk or look at all of someone's personal business on their site, remember that once you like it, everyone, not just that person, will know that you did. This can inevitably become a problem in a relationship. It's not much different that being out with someone (in person, that is) and noticing them ignoring you, or flirting with someone else; you don't like it if someone is hitting on your spouse or significant other while you're standing there, yet that's my point: what you see in person can actually be seen on-line as well, all by the constant liking/commenting on someone...especially if you're always doing it to one particular someone. That's the problem; what's hurtful or bothersome in the real world is considered to be no big deal on the internet. If you believe that, you're kidding yourself. You're giving yourself permission to be ignorant. Just as real life affairs begin by a few phone calls or harmless visits, an internet one begins with liking and/or commenting to one person far too much, and then it crosses the line to private messages. Lines of intimacy on-line can be crossed this very way, and if you're in a relationship that means something to you, remember that the internet is the internet; it's not that person who holds your hand, snuggles with you at night, or tells you they love you.

To inter-net or inter-not; that is the question!

The other problem with the liking key is that if you don't like someone's post which may have someone in it you don't like, trust me, they'll notice.

I have watched so many people live almost their entire existence on these sites; that's how they measure their self-esteem, by the number of likes and/or comments! It's become sad that the real world is becoming a thing of the past, and that living in the moment is becoming living on line! I've seen affairs happening from them, as well as a break-down of friendships. I lost two close friends through social media, yet it was two people who forgot what interaction with an actual human was like, whether it was in person or by phone. These two people counted their likes and comments daily, and felt that they were in intimate friendships with everyone they connected with. That's not true, yet that's what happened to me.

There's no real intimacy on line, just typing, sending, and liking. Personally, I like a voice on the phone and a body next to me; that's the real world. The internet world should simply be the perk to it; that extra tool we have to keep in touch, send a quick message or inspirational thought to someone.

It's all really about the intimacy of relationships, and while we wouldn't cross a line or jeopardize them in the real world, many find the courage to do so on-line. It's not healthy or more importantly, not truth to be someone you're not on-line. It's not right to step over boundaries that are set in the real world, to be selfish enough to jeopardize someone else's relationships with family, friends or a significant other simply because you have yourself fooled into believing that it's okay to do it on-line, even though you wouldn't think of doing it in the real world.

Think before you like and when all else fails, if you feel the need to stalk or constantly look someone up to see what they're doing, remember: look but don't like.

Just that one click of a key can ruin something that means the world to someone else, so be careful to think before you click!

One last piece of advice: what goes around comes around, and the truth is that karma is a bitch, and she most definitely exists on-line and in the real world.

Giving Your Day Away

Stop and smell the roses is a familiar term to most, yet one so often forgotten. Life can get busy, and we forget to take some time in each day to stop and appreciate all that our life has to offer. Yet sometimes a day flies by, and before long we realize it's ended before we ever started it. You wonder where your day went, and you have to ask yourself this: why did I just give my day away?

The answer isn't always simple, yet it's usually the same: you let it slip away to other people, places and things. You forgot to keep some of the day for yourself.

Life can be busy, and new adventures are to be found at some of the most unexpected times, yet we still have to remember to keep some of the day for ourselves. Yes, life throws a curve ball now and again, and the most carefully planned day spirals into the opposite direction. It's easier to follow the curveballs spinning into thin air than to catch them, handle them, and keep going.

Fatigue plays a big part in losing your day; physical fatigue, and the worst of all, mental fatigue, are the biggest thieves in taking your day away. All valid reasons, yet the point in keeping a healthy life is to not allow that to happen... at least not too often.

Life is about balance, and there are days that the balance seems too far out of reach. Yet it's important to find it, and more importantly, to recognize when you're losing it, as that helps with all the fatigue thieves that step in and grab the day from you.

So how do you keep that balance? There are many ways. The most important step is finding a few moments each day, preferably in the morning, to get yourself grounded. Stand outside on the sand or grass, close your eyes, take a deep breath, and envision a white light of energy coming up from the ground, through your toes, up to the top of your head. It's like a natural boost of energy which requires as little as five or ten minutes of your time. It's well worth the effort and as stimulating as that first rush you get from your morning coffee.

Another practice is to meditate in a sacred space, your quiet space, or your most happy place. For some it's a room in your home, for others it's outside under the sun or moon. For those lucky enough