My Road to Redemption

By Jonathan

This book is more than just a reflection on my life, I recognized that many people are struggling with the same burning questions and are making the same mistakes in their lives as what I did. I needed to find out what my purpose on earth was, why I have been unhappy for many years, The idea came to write this book, maybe, I could help somebody discover themselves the way I have and understand that I have already paid for my mistakes, no need to make the same mistakes again, If this book can help to turn just one to God with love, then all was worth it for me. I truly discovered what I have been missing all my life and the fool I have become. I discovered happiness, acceptance and true peace and attempts to show the way here. This is not a quick fix it book, however, if my words resonates in your heart, you will follow the word of God because you want to and come to understand your purpose on this earth. The story includes the future of South Africa, although Britain and America is just mentioned in passing, their respective futures are the same.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse UK
• Release date: May 19, 2014
• ISBN: 9781496979643

Jonathan

Just a 51 year old man with an average middle class background. No writing skill to speak of and certainly not an expert on religion or God. I lost my religious believes a long time ago and did not believe in God. I was unsure as to why I was living and breathing as life had no purpose or meaning, just a struggle to survive. On the 26th February 2012 the world that I knew was yanked away from me when my wife died in a motorcycle accident. This was the defining moment in my life, for the first time I went on my knees again and prayed to God to spare her life. The story I am telling is of redemption, that God has never left my side through all the years, and He waited patiently for me to turn back to Him. I never understood the greatness, fastness and magnificence of the power and promises of God made through Jesus Christ. The unconditional love, guidance, protection and wisdom I have received from Jesus sounds if it belongs in a fiction novel. I want to share what Jesus has revealed is in store for us through this book.

Book preview

© 2014 Jonathan. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 05/13/2014

ISBN: 978-1-4969-7963-6 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4969-7964-3 (e)

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Contents

Introduction

My road to redemption

How to study the Bible

Bible symbols revealed

Biblical numerology and their meaning

God’s Commandments:

The South African Prophecy:

Death, Hell and the ultimate promise revealed:

About the Author

Just a 51 year old man with an average middle class background. No writing skill to speak of and certainly not an expert on religion or God. I lost my religious believes a long time ago and did not believe in God. I was unsure as to why I was living and breathing as life had no purpose or meaning, just a struggle to survive. On the 26th February 2012 the world that I knew was yanked away from me when my wife died in a motorcycle accident. This was the defining moment in my life, for the first time I went on my knees again and prayed to God to spare her life. The story I am telling is of redemption, that God has never left my side through all the years, and He waited patiently for me to turn back to Him. I never understood the greatness, vastness and magnificence of the power and promises of God made through Jesus Christ. The unconditional love, guidance, protection and wisdom I have received from Jesus sounds if it belongs in a fiction novel. I want to share what Jesus has revealed is in store for us through this book.

Special Thanks:

To all the people and sites who allowed me to reach a higher understanding of the bible, to all the men and woman who have no doubt spend countless hours in research work and allowed me either to be able to publish an extracts or photos from their respective web sites or in the case of Rick Meyers, his excellent e-sword program which without it would have taken me years to complete this very special project for me.

Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.

Genocide Watch Leon Parkin & Gregory H. Stanton, President

Ron Fraser from Philadelphia Church of God, published South Africa in Prophecy in 1997

http://www.bible-history.com/

www.arkdiscovery.com/red_sea_crossing.htm by Ron Wyatt

Easton’s Bible Dictionary

www.agapebiblestudy.com. Michal Hunt, Copyright © 1998, Revised June, 2000; May, 2003; July, 2003; May, 2007, May, 2012 Agape Bible Study. Permissions All Rights Reserved.

Book of Bible Lists by H.L. Willmington, Tyndale Bible Dictionary.

www.bible.ca. by Steve Rudd.

www.bible-history.com

Dr. Marc Faber

Joseph de Courcey, editor of the well-respected Gloucester U.K. based Intelligence Digest

www.e-sword.net Rick Meyers—with E-Sword program

www.BibleProphecySchool.com/

www.ancient-hebrew.org/1_about.html Ancient Hebrew Alphabet Chart, By Jeff A. Benner

Garth Brookes with a song titled The river lyrics

Text for comparison and cross reference purposes have been used from the following bible versions (ESV)(ERV)(CEV) and (KJV) in texts.

Introduction

Very special thanks to Willie and Joseph (Elihoreph). I could not pronounce his name at first, so I call him Joseph. To Lucia, now my wife, who guided me to place my hands firmly back in God’s hands and who made me feel whole again and that there, is a life worth living.

They all made me believe in myself again, and gave me love and protection, so that I could pick my head up high again and face the world with a new sense of wonder and pride that I can be a small part of this enormous creation of God. Which has been standing in front of us all the time.

(Rom 1:16-19) For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes, to the Jew first and also to the Greek.

For in it the righteousness of God is revealed from faith for faith, as it is written, The righteous shall live by faith. For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who by their unrighteousness suppress the truth. (KJV)

For what can be known about God is plain to them, because God has shown it to them.

My road to redemption

My story

Thinking back on my life, I know there was a couple of defining moments that changed my life completely, but one stood out head and shoulders above the rest. Writing this book is immensely difficult for me, I have to open all the emotions again, I know I am opening myself to criticism and possible ridicule, but I know this is something I have to do to share, just maybe, somebody can understand what has happened to me, and maybe to them as well, or maybe you experienced the same self-doubt that has been part of my life for as long as I can remember. My life has not been a good one, but you can decide for yourself as the story unfolds.

My story started well before this event, but I will start from this point. The date was the 19th February 2012. It was a bright cloudless Sunday morning; I stood up and said to Tanya. Let’s take our motorcycle and go for a breakfast run, I wanted to take her to a small country side town that we have never been too. The route proposed would have taken us along the major arterial until we reach Caledon where we would have taken the back and dirt roads. I have been living and staying in the Cape Province from the early 1980 tish, but have never taken the trouble to go and see how these little country side town look like.

Tanya liked riding motorcycles with me, it gave us the freedom to just experience the open air and the open road, we did not have to talk during the trips, just being on the road and the closeness that it brought was enough. As we got dressed I told her of a disturbing dream I had the night before, I told her I saw us crashing with the bike, in the dream I saw the bike smashing head on into an obstacle. Tanya looked at me but said nothing, she got kitted out in her bike gear, but she was not her total self, that much I could see, but I promised her that I would drive slowly, we were not in a hurry as the whole day awaited us. When we drove out of the yard, the fuel light on the bike came on, I told Tanya, we are going to refuel first and then draw some money from the ATM at the same filling station. On our way there a guy in a Toyota skipped the stop street and nearly smacked into the left side of our bike.

At that point I sighed with relief, I knew that the dream I had was a warning and that we have just side stepped disaster. The bike refueled, and some money in the pocket, we headed out onto the highway. The first couple of kilometers are just straight broad highway, and then the mountain range which is called Sir Lowry’s pass start which from that point is uphill in zig zag fashion until the crest is reached and then the road falls away into a sharp left hander S bend. On the straight part of the highway we talked about the rout that I wanted to take, as we approached the pass, I moved into the slow lane, the road curves slowly towards the left and then the S curved out towards the right, as we came out of the left corner, it became apparent that the road for a section of 20 to 30 meters was soaked with diesel, some truck lumbering up the hill I presume had spilled the diesel. I knew instinctively at that point that we were going to have a very serious crash.

We were leaning over towards the right so I could not change my chosen line through the corner and the moment the front wheel hit the diesel it started to slide out from under us, I thought we would be able to slide it out, We have been in a situation before where the rear tire blew out in a corner at about 140Kmh and the situation was managed. I had the clutch in, but the rear swung out violently planting us in the tarmac surface. I will remember this moment for the rest of my life. I skidded with the bike for a couple of meters and then I started sliding on my back. The fast lane was freshly resurfaced and I remember trying to keep my head up as I tried to protect my neck, I know that for a fleeting moment, I felt my right hand glove being ripped apart by the tar, so I tried putting weight on my right elbow which only caused the elbow pad to shift and take the skin of my elbow, after that I started to roll, how many times I do not know, but I landed on my stomach facing the oncoming traffic.

I saw a blue sedan’s left front wheel missing my head, but they did not stop, then I saw Tanya on her stomach lower down on the side of the road with her body partially under a steel and wood barrier. To this day I do not know how the helmet came loose, I just remember taking it off my head and going over where she was. I was not sure if she was hurt or dead, I touched her, I could see that she was in tremendous pain, she just said I must not touch her; I did not remove her helmet as I knew there could be neck or head injuries present. Tanya made contact with the steel barriers and split poles keeping the structure up.

The police report read: We were travelling from Strand direction towards Grabouw on the highway with our motorcycle. I was the driver and she was the pillion passenger. We were travelling in the slow lane at approximately 80kmh, when we approached the first right hand bend leading up the pass; we encountered a long line of diesel spilled on the road tar surface. As the rear tire touched the diesel while navigating the right hand bend, traction was lost and the bike skidded out from under us falling over onto its right hand side. I skidded with the bike for a while before ending up facing the oncoming traffic in the slow lane while my wife had an impact contact with the steel barrier and pole on the left side of the road. The bike ended up higher up the road in the center between the upcoming and down going traffic where it was recovered.

As I looked up the road, 2 men were already retrieving the motorcycle from the middle of the road; they have phoned the ambulance service, who was only 5 minutes away. The ambulance arrived and Tanya was stabilized, at that point it became apparent that her left arm was broken, I removed her personal affects in the ambulance where she spoke a couple of words to me. I signed the relevant paperwork so that they could take her to the medical Centre about 10 minutes away. I noticed that my cell phone and wallet were missing and retrieved those items in the middle of the road, +_ 10 meters from where we fell. My visor on the helmet was missing and the communication system torn loose and gone, About 2 months after the event, I had enough courage to go back to the scene and recover both in the bushes some distance away. My clothes were in tatters, not one piece of clothing I had was not torn or damaged, in contrast, Tanya’s visor was damaged, and a little spot on the shoulder of her jacket she wore, apart from that, there was no other damage visible. The motorcycle was still drivable, and as much as I hated the idea of getting back on, I knew I had to get to the hospital and so I rode back, I presume it must have been a sight. The bike had parts hanging from it, and I was dripping blood on both knees and elbows.

For a long time, things have not been well between Tanya and me, we have tried in our individual ways to fix things, but there were many issues to work through and overcome. It does not matter what happens between two people, the moment in time that you see your partner on the side of the road face down in the tarmac, then everything becomes as clear as day as to your real feelings for the other person. I did not have my faith in God, I simply led my life the way I saw fit, but here, I must go back into the past a little bit, perhaps a lot. I had to sit and think what went wrong in my life, be brutally honest with myself and I was disgusted with what I have become. To understand the journey, I will go back to when I was a young boy, perhaps 7 years of age.

I grew up in a typical middle class South African household, my Dad was the one who gave the instructions, made the decisions and you did not dare to question him or discuss his decisions with him, he was the head of the household and that was the end of it. They saying were, children are heard but not seen, I had my own children’s bible with pictures and illustrations, and I remember Noah and the ark and the Exodus out of Egypt depicted there. I think I believed in the simple form that only a child could, but one day I approached my mother and asked her I wanted a puppy. I was the only kid and I was lonely. For some or other strange reason my mother told me all I had to do was pray to Jesus for one and I will get the puppy I so desired.

I remember this as clear as yesterday, that afternoon I stood at the front door waiting for my dad to come home, I already in my mind’s eye saw the tail wagging in my dad’s arms. My dad got out the car, and there was nothing, I could not understand this, perhaps Jesus decided that my dad did not have time, so tomorrow he will come home with one, and day after day my heart was broken. At some point I deducted, there will be no puppy and neither is there any God.

The years progressed and I have gone to church regularly as required with no understanding of the bible, none of it made any sense to me. I knew the relevant versus, the order of the books and I passed my catechism as required. My dad was a Regional Manager for a furniture company so we moved every couple of years, I has been is so many schools that I cannot remember all of them.

One day my dad came home from work, I wanted to play with him but he was tired and irritated, I started boxing with him and he ordered me to stop, I did not and he hit me with a fist on the side of my head and I landed behind the sofa, I think he must have just reacted.

Two things were formed in my mind, One, there is no God, Two, my parents were not to be trusted.

I grew up scared and confused; I was scared of punishment in any form, corporal punishments at school, afraid of trying anything, just scared of live in general and scared of being bullied. My dad did not help in this regards, after that I never trusted him to bring a problem home to him. I deducted that I stood alone. His word was the law, and he caused me to be ridiculed at school so that increased my loneliness. From time to time there were field expedients and other activities arranged where the class as a whole participated in, I was not allowed to go with, instead I had to stay at school while a teacher was in charged to watch over me, I am not talking about lower grades, I am talking from the age of 13 onwards.

I vowed to myself that I will do what it takes, but will not ask my dad for help, and I did not, not even when I was bullied by other children, In the lower grades a teacher gave me a caning,

I was in a new school and did not understand their way of doing things. My back side was blue, but still I did not tell my dad. I devised things to keep myself busy, sometimes I messed up or like children are, do things which are wrong, My dad used to corner me and I told him the truth, then he beat the daylights out of me, insisting that I tell him the truth, when I then told him a lie instead, he always asked me why I didn’t tell the truth in the first place? Thus I came to understand that a lie is just as good as long as the other person is happy. To tell the truth was at that time very important to me, I remember that one day my nephew were throwing stones over the neighbor’s fence, I stood next to him and the lady on the other side called us over and asked why I threw stones, I told her that it was my nephew and not me, she responded, that I must become a man and always accept my responsibilities in life and not lie, well it was more of the same, but what stuck was the fact to always take responsibility for one’s own actions.

Growing older into puberty I guess was the worst part of life for me, I was shy and withdrawn, I did not have transport as my dad did not want me to have a bicycle, don’t even mention the word motorcycle. You could say I was land locked, the home we stayed in had a Hugh garden and my dad loved his gardens, he used to feed the lawn that it turned blue in color and grew so quickly that it had to be mowed twice a week. For a young lad, it was a monumental task, the handles of the mover was too high for my length, thus I ended up cutting white circles in the grass and my dad would be furious, thus there was no time for girlfriends and I could not visit and if I could, I received no pocket money, so I walked in the streets and in those days we still had cold drink glass bottles, for three you get one full one. In standard 8 I started working at store, similar to Wall Mart or Woolworths as a packer behind the till, I received 71 cents per hour and my first salary increase was 73 cents per hour. I moved quickly up the ladder, from there to bakery, then stores and then the cash office where all the money was counted after the day’s takings.

The biggest surprise was that my dad allowed me to buy the bike I wanted, I was short of cash and he pitched in. It was one of the first 12 speed Shimano racing bikes made by Ralley. This was my pride and joy, this was my freedom. This could take me away from the prison called home, so on Sunday mornings when my dad and mom were still sleeping, I rode my bike, just as far as my imagination could take me. The loneliness did not subside, instead it grew stronger, everywhere I saw boys my age taking an interest in girls and it seemed that I was not destined to be part of that. This carried on through my school years, I cannot remember that I slept out once during my childhood years, and I do remember I went to a night time party at my bosses home once in my matric year.

The matric function came up, and I had the nerve to ask one girl, when she said no, I could not pluck up the courage again, so I went by myself, My mom took me, my dad did not want to go, still today, my mother will deny what happened and said my dad went with her. I know the embarrassment I felt when I stood on that stage by myself, straight after the event I was taken home and could not go to the after party.

My marks were not good, but good enough that I could go and study further, I chose the field of Electrical light current and excelled at electronica, I sucked at math’s and science until somebody asked me why am I swopping figures around? I told him he was stupid and he showed me, I did not know what was wrong with until I became an adult and understood the word dyslexia. I managed to secure a position at a Tertiary Institution, the pay was poor, but it gave me a little salary and I stayed at the hostel with meals included but I studied for free. I was no longer reliant on my dad for the fees. My studies were not great, I tasted freedom and did not know how to balance my time, the result is that I had to write many subject over and over again. In hindsight, I did not manage, crises management yes.

Soon it became a crises, somebody did not like the idea that I work for the facility and stay in the hostel, so I was reported and called in, it seemed to be against the policy of the facility and I had to move. I stayed at various homes but tried to get a place closed as the fuel bill became too high, I searched high and low and eventually found a boarding home not too far from the facility. I had much less money in my pocket now, I could study and live but not eat, I was too proud to tell my parents, thus I did not eat regularly or every day. When my friend invites me to go with them I mostly declined because I could not pay my way and I did not want them to know.

My only company was the Blaupoint hi fi I had in my room, when everything became too much, I pulled the curtains and lay on the bed in the dark and listen to the radio, sometimes I just stood by the window and watched the other students and their apparent happiness. During this time I met Brenda at this facility, for some or other reason she was attracted to me, at first I did not like her, but became fond of her, what I did not like was that she was demanding and spoiled by her dad. It was not a problem for me, I was ecstatic that at least somebody was interested in me. She visit me more and more as he had time, eventually the invitation came to visit her on the farm and meet her parents. The farm was situation about 15km away from the facility.

The visit became more frequent and I used to eat there now most evenings. Then the unexpected happened, the woman where I lodged at had a heart attack and she died, now the question of where to stay came up again, Brenda wanted me to come and stay on the farm as there was a fully furnished flat that was not occupied and her parents were ok with that. This life I dreamed off, weekend were spend riding a motorcycle that I always dreamed off and bought in pieces and fixed up. Meals were not an issue any more, but what became a concern is that now I was sort of in another prison, I could not visit my parents or even start a relationship with another woman because I lived on their domain. It was a concern, a little voice in the head but I always squashed it, besides, this was not so bad, I became used to her demanding ways and thought in the long run I could cope with it. I think we only became sexual active after about 6 months and she was the first woman in my life at perhaps the age of 20 to 21

During that time, the South African Defense Force still had their 2 year compulsory military duty to contend with. I was called up in 1984 and started my tour of duty in June of that year, well, once again the uncertainty of it all kicked in and I asked Brenda if she would marry me after the first 3 months of duty. She said yes, and after I did my first 3 months, I was placed at a facility where my electronically background could be put to good use. This worked out real well, the time frames bound me to the workshop hours during the day, but allowed me free movement after hours and weekends, there was a room in the camp for me, but I was not obliged to be there, so I went home on a Friday afternoon and came back to camp Monday morning, then home again on Wednesday at 13h00 and back Thursday morning. I married Brenda because of insecurity and not because I loved Brenda, because I did not.

By now I have learned to organize, my hi fi was in the room, bar fridge, small stove and full carpeted room. Life felt good and I was not too concerned about what was happening around me. There was a little concern by me; I used to get violent chest pains after the strenuous exercises. At the time we had the excellent military hospitals and went to see a specialist. There I was given a monitor that I had to carry with me for a while and it was found that I had a serious heart murmur, my classification changed to K3G3, which basically meant, just flutter your eye lids, do not do anything more. My tour of duty was starting to draw to a close and I have befriended a sergeant.

One day I doubled over in pain and he asked me what was wrong, I told him and on the spot he knelt down, put his hand on my heart and prayed for me, I felt embarrassed as the other troops were looking at me, but I thanked him and carried on, but gradually the pains got less and less. Today there is no more trace of the heart murmur that used to plague me for most of my teen years, I have healed completely.

The military conscription ended, the old institute of learning waited, but the 18 months working in a faraday cage, 2 m x 2 m x 2m have cured me of this career. I bought myself out and started in a new career. I did exceedingly well in this, I just had the ability and understanding, then I befriended another Technician and we wanted to start our own company. Plans were well underway when Brenda decided she want to re-locate to the Cape Province to be close to here parents that have moved down earlier. That scuttled any plans I had, but I gave in and we moved down, I had no job prospect and moved down blind. My friend took in another partner and they have created a very successful business, so I always felt resentment towards Brenda and cheated that I did not have the opportunity to chase my dream.

Arriving in the Cape Province, the shock of my life awaited me, the truck with our furniture stopped behind us, and our home was to be a dilapidated home on some farm that my father in law organized, I refused to move in, hurriedly, a place in Stellenbosch was found, I did not even know how I was going to make the payments, I had no income. Then my father in law managed to secure an interview with an office automation company in same town, they were impressed with my capabilities and the work was mine, the work I hated every minute of every day that I worked there. The boss was an unreasonable Dictator and our personalities clashed violently. So much so that one day I climbed over a desk to get to him in my fury, the secretary came between us and stopped us.

For me there was no religion, I simply did not believe anymore, my life experiences have shown me just hurt and heartache, but I was the man in the house and had to provide, so I stuck it out and kept on working. During all this time I remained faithful to Brenda. Our arguments were bitter and sometimes violent, I never lifted my hands towards her, but she used the opportunity well. Each time her parents moved, we had to move to the same town, so we ended up moving a couple of times and eventually purchased a home her dad gave us the deposit for. My career in various companies quickly shot up as well as the pressure I was under, work and home was a place of hell of which I could not escape. Bath time was the period in which I was trapped in the bath and Brenda had her say nonstop. Our marriage was held together by habit only. She had 2 miss carriages as well during that time, could not keep a job for longer than 9 months, and every time her dad was there to back her up.

One morning in the shower, Brenda started an argument again, so I locked her out of the bathroom, she then proceed to shoulder the door, in the process damaging the lock, so she called her dad to take the door off so that I could go to work. My health deteriorated very fast, I was sick constantly and did not know what was wrong. During that time my son was born, the family immediately stepped in and told me how I should raise my child, what to give him to eat etc etc. My father in law used to go to the fridge and cupboards and then decide what we should have as groceries and demanded to know why I could not provide for my family better, and was questioned what I was wasting my money on. The situation became absolutely unbearable.

Sometimes during these altercations with Brenda, I tried to leave and pack my clothes, but because my hands would not work, my coordination not there, I simply broke the shelves off. In this fashion I destroyed many things in the home. There were situations when we were having a peaceful afternoon with friends when she would start off again, I then left here there and went home, unfortunately, the friends always brought her back.

My sport always included firearms of some sort, I could shoot from the age I could walk most likely, In our schools those years we could shoot .22 rifles for a sport, and that was my calling, I could not wait to shoot those rifles, After my school years I started combat shooting but had to give up my aspirations every time I reached the pinnacle, I was good enough to become a Springbok, but then had to stop for a couple of years, and so it went, I could see the golden apple, but never had a taste of it.

The problem simply was that I had the ability, but not the finances, so I tried to compete with out of date equipment or equipment not suited to the role. Regardless of the handicap, I made what parts I could by hand, some it were crude, but effective none the less.

At this juncture, my life changed in a way I did not foresee or expect. One night we sat in front of the TV with a pornographic tape, Brenda said to me that she wants to know how that feels, she wants to do that too. I was shocked beyond believe, in my stupidity I did not even know that people got together for just that purpose. I said to her that I will think over it. The more I thought about it, the more the thought appealed to me, after all, I also wanted to know how another woman would feel, to experience what I have seen in the movies. Besides what would it hurt, we were still going to do it together. The South African moral codes at time were still strict, you could perhaps buy a pornographic magazine in the shops on the top shelves wrapped in plastic, and everybody looked at you if you were an Alien.

To put things in perspective, a couple of years earlier, the magazines that were send to the troops on the border had the bare breasts of naked woman painted over as the men were not allowed to see that. The task at hand was a very difficult one, I did not know how to go about it, I would guess and say it took about a year before we met a couple who were also first timers so to speak and it took another couple of months to pluck up the courage to get started. Let’s call then John and Jane. The problem is that it is never enough, so they met other couples as well and as a result of that, we met other people as well. The strange part is that for a short while our marriage became better, the pressure remained and often we met with couples and for a while everything was fun and games, then we also saw the ugly side of human behavior, jealousy, abuse, where one would force his partner through manipulation to do