A Journey of Faith: My Journey from Christianity to Islam

By Sunseria Jackson

A Journey of Faith is a memoir written during a time Sunseria
decided to convert from Christianity to Islam. She talks about what made
her decide to convert to Islam and how the transition between the two
faiths affected her lifestyle and her relationships with friends, family,
and her marriage. During the 6 years as a Muslim, she struggled between
the desire to want to be a Muslim and fighting with her husband about
her new life. She would later fi nd herself at a cross road, choosing to stay
with her husband or leaving her marriage to pursue her new life. She
would later decide to leave her marriage to pursue the life as a Muslim.
After her divorce she realizes that this was a mistake and her faith began
to waiver and she slowly began to pull away from the religion. No longer
wearing the hijab, Sunseria still finds difficulty living her new life, but
continues to hold on to her faith and her trust in God.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: May 3, 2013
• ISBN: 9781483606811

Sunseria Jackson

Sunseria Jackson was born in Bartow Florida where she lived until the age of 14. From there, she moved to Alabama and would leave for the Army after graduating from high school. She currently lives in Chicago and works at a hospital as a Certifi ed Nursing Assistant. She has one child, Victoria and this is her fi rst book.

Book preview

CHAPTER 1

W hat made me decide to become a Muslim? That’s the question I am asked almost every day, and there are times I would find myself asking the same thing. What led me to Islam? Of all the religions of the world, why Islam? My decision to become a Muslim did not happen overnight; it would come over a period of time. My journey would begin as a child growing up in a small town in central Florida called Bartow. For those who are unfamiliar with the city, Bartow is a small town located in central Florida, approximately thirty-nine miles east of Tampa and about fifty miles southwest of Orlando. Nicknamed City of Oaks, it is known for its small historical settings and warm hospitality. Bartow is also considered a town located in Bible Belt territory. The city has many churches, approximately seventy, and most locals, who are considered average churchgoers, are affiliated with the evangelical Protestant religion, with Baptist being at the top of the list. Like most cities, Bartow has both positive and negative qualities: some of the positive qualities are the town is beautiful and historical, with a small population of about 40,000 residences. And on the other hand, because of the small population, the neighborhood that I grew up in was very small; therefore, your neighbors were able to find out what was going on in everyone’s life. In some cases they would seem to know more about you than you did.

I enjoyed my childhood, even though it was a small town in central Florida. And every holiday season I would always wish for snow, and to my dismay, it never did. But each year I had hope that this might be the year it would. As a child, church was a big part of my life. Going to church was never an option for me; it was more like a requirement. Even if my mother was too sick to take me, I still went with another member of the family. My mother knew that going to church was a good thing for me; she wanted me to learn the basics of Christianity and she wanted me to establish my faith in God at an early age. She believed that the sooner I learned about God, the better I would learn how to trust Him, even during the most difficult times in my life. In addition to establishing a strong faith in God, she believed that this close relationship would help me to make the right decisions; and as I got older, would keep me out of trouble. Her intentions were good and true but at the same time became a little annoying and nerve-wracking. While going to church, I knew there were other religions out there, but I was always told that Christianity was the only way to heaven. Before my mother became a devout Christian, she always attended church. Not only my mother and I but also other members of the family, we would all attend the same church, in the heart of Bartow. To me this church was very boring, and I think my family felt the same way. We attended this church because it was a big part of my family, not because we gave big donations or anything like that. It was important to our family because members of our family helped build and establish this church. Some members of the family would dedicate their time and effort into the church by participating in the choir or any other programs. The church and Christianity played a big role in my family’s life, though they would soon develop a better understanding of Christianity and would find another church to attend. The church had become a little too routine. More members were concerned with fashion and who could give more money in the offering plate than with worshipping God. It had become more of a circus than a church. With this in mind, my family decided to look for a new church home; their decision to find a new church home would start a new journey of faith for them. While attending church with my family, I was not familiar with other religions. I never heard of Islam or Muslims; the only time I would hear about Muslims was when I watched television. The media would always make all Muslims seem like violent people whose goals in life were to terrorize and torture Americans. And as a child, I would believe this. I never brought this up with my family because they would quickly dismiss the topic and encourage me to think or talk about something that was a little more positive and uplifting. I never thought twice about Muslims or Islam; furthermore, I would never see one in my town or neighborhood. The only time I would see a family of Muslims was when we ventured outside of town into the larger cities, such as Orlando or Tampa, but I would never see one in Bartow until years later.

My mother would soon come to terms with her faith; she would soon take her faith and her relationship with God to a whole different level. Even though she attended church faithfully, my mother didn’t live her life as a Christian. She would attend church on Sunday but would live her life differently the rest of the week; this would soon change after I began elementary school. When I first started going to school, my mother loved staying active in different activities that involved parents. She always attended PTA meetings and would ask the teacher if it was okay for her to sit in the classroom sometimes so she can observe the way the classroom was run on a daily basis. The first time my mother came to sit in my class was when I was in kindergarten. It was recess time for us, so while we were out for recess, my mother remained in the classroom with the teacher and she asked the teacher if there were anything for her to read. My teacher said yes and handed her the Bible. This day would not only change my mother’s life, but it would also change my life forever. My teacher would begin to minister to my mother. She would tell her about God and would teach her about Jesus and how he can save her life. My teacher never pushed God on my mother, but offered her a choice. My mother and my teacher began to talk over the phone and would later become close friends. I remember going to weekly Bible study meetings with my teacher and her two daughters, who would become my good friends. The weekly Bible study meetings would take place in her home, and while the adults were in the living room having their Bible study, the kids would be in my friend’s room watching TV or playing videogames. After my mother became a Christian, not only was my life surrounded by Sunday school and Sunday services, but also now weekly Bible study meetings and Wednesday night service. Christianity would play an even bigger role in my life than just going to church. What I wore, who I played with, the music I listened to, and what I watched on TV would also play a role in my life. Since I was a minor, of course this was acceptable; it’s normal for parents to monitor what their kids are watching and listening to. But as a Christian, my mother would monitor all of my activities closely. As an outsider looking in, one would say that my mother was a strict parent, a disciplinarian who wanted the best for her daughter, and she did. Her strict and religious guidelines for my life would play a strong but positive role for me. In school, my community, and in church, adults would view me as a mature young lady who was old before my time. In school, I remember receiving awards at the end of the school year for different activities and good grades, from attendance to just being voted one of the best students in my class. I would be chosen to represent the school in local parades and to have a picture taken with the principal in a local newspaper. In my community, I was a Girl Scout, and once again I was viewed as a leader. I never looked at myself as a leader or someone who had good leadership qualities, but I would take it in stride and would try my best to live up to everyone’s expectations. As a Girl Scout, every year my troop would participate in the local Halloween parade. I would always be the first from my Girl Scout troop to arrive. I remember one year while waiting for the rest of the girls, a local newspaper journalist would interview me and I would be so excited to see my picture in the local newspaper once again. Despite my mother’s disciplinary actions as a parent, I had a childhood and my mother made sure I did. Summer time was my favorite time. In addition to no school, this was the time I would see family I did not have a chance to see all year long. I remember the barbeques and the yearly family trips we would make to Walt Disney World and Epcott Center—just a few of the Florida attractions we would visit. She wanted me to have as much fun as I possibly could; and I did. With fun also came life’s lessons and most importantly, she wanted me to grow up knowing who God was and she would teach me how to have faith in Him. Christianity played a big role in my mother’s life and she shared it with me as well. I remember every day after my homework; we would read the Bible together. She wanted to raise me up as a Christian, but she would always say, While you are living with me, you will be a Christian, but once you move out the choice is yours. She felt responsible for my upbringing, but most importantly she felt like it was her duty to raise me in God’s favor. Not only was mother a strong Christian, so was the rest of my family. Most of my aunts, cousins, great-aunts, and uncles were Christians who stood behind their faith. Almost every Sunday one would find them in church in nearby cities. But for the most part, the church and living a Christian lifestyle dominated our entire lives. And with the exception of me, the Christian faith is still a part of their lifestyle.

Along with life’s joys, she also wanted me to learn the hard lessons that life would have for me in the long run. By instilling in me and teaching me how to have faith in God, she wanted me to know no matter how hard life gets and who may disappoint me, I should always keep my faith in God for He will never let me down. And to this day, those words still continue to follow me every day, and more now than ever for I will continue to hear this from more family members and friends. My mother taught me well because her discipline, strength, and her teachings about God would follow me to adulthood. Her teachings would really be put to the test after her death in September of 1988.

CHAPTER 2

I t was on a Sunday and this day would be the saddest and most heartbreaking day of my life. After hearing the news of her death, I felt like my world was turned upside down. I couldn’t believe that my mother, my disciplinarian, and my best friend was gone. Leading up to her death, my mother had become very ill, but no one would know why. My family was starting to believe it was more mental than physical. My mother was going through a lot; I didn’t know everything she was going through because since I was a child she probably thought it would be too much for me to understand. Despite my mother’s beliefs and faith, she found herself going through a tough patch; her faith was being tested at this time. I remember my mother doing something she always taught me never to do.

I remember coming home from school one day and she told me that she met someone. Now up to this day my mother never dated. She always believed that God would send someone to her when the time was right, and she never felt the time was right, I guess, until now. She was happy, but she still kept her guard up about this guy, and so did I. He was a little older than her, about thirty years, and all of his kids were grown. Family and friends would question her decision to be with this man. I guess my mother wanted to get married and he promised her that and so much more. Many of his promises would later turn into disappointments. My mother never had her own place. After high school, she chose to stay home and live with my grandfather. She wanted to stay with him to help him cope with living alone since all of his children moved out. She could have moved out, but she chose to stay to help him out around the house with his shopping and other things he needed. My grandfather was not a Christian and never associated himself with church or any other religious groups. He was a heavy drinker and smoker and enjoyed living his life the way he wanted. After my mother became a Christian, this brought conflict between him and her. Some days my grandfather was okay. He would keep silent about my mother reading the Bible or blasting Gospel music throughout the house. But days when he had been drinking, he would come home ranting and raging about the music, about my mother’s Bible reading, and her constant churchgoing habits. This explains why we never had Bible study at our house. For years, my mother remained in the house and would take everything he dished out. One day his ranting got so out of hand my mother decided that she could no longer live like this and she made the decision to move out. First we stayed with friends, but she felt like we were in their