The Inducements of Brazen Lovers Behind the Mask

By P. Seck

This book is about a girl who came from Guinea, Conakry, West Africa, the best place in the world, who struggled a lot in school as she had to adapt a new culture in a new land. For her, life makes many souls reckless and restless and the endurance of life and it exceptions bruises lovers. Unfortunately, life broke his promises with her; it was as if she did not exist in her own world. And this questionable feeling was because she fell in love with a guy that was not interested in her.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: May 12, 2014
• ISBN: 9781499005219

Book preview

Chapter 1

I f you had told me that by the time I will be in middle school, I will have the fiver of love running in my veins like my own blood cells, I will tell you that a crazy person talking. I mean, I was not that girl who was minded by boys or a girl who admires them because for me, love is just sweet talk to women’s ears. Besides, I have seen people that were in so-called love ripping their hearts and making themselves bitter with one another. But the question still remains—is this how love is supposed to be, or is it the way we find bitterness in it? For me to be able to answer this question, it will take a journey of my life.

Life makes so many souls reckless and restless; the endurance of life and its exceptions bruises lovers. Unfortunately, life broke his promises with me; it was as if I did not exist in my own world. The expectations of life made me so hopeless that the meaning of life itself became insignificant to my own ambitions. Because even if I cry, I didn’t have anybody or the loneliness of fire on my skin to wipe my tears or give me comfort. The loneliness inside me was so intense that when I expressed my thoughts, I could have anybody who will answer me, and this was poisoning the air I was breathing to survive. The walls of my broken heart are as concrete as every desire in me, and sometimes, I ask myself why I existed in the first place in this sad world. Why I never get close forever with the only person I love, who my heart is yearning for in this world. When I say the only person I love, it’s not because I don’t love my family; my family is my light and breath. I meant the first guy that made me feel like a woman, a man boldly in love with me without questioning the circumstances of what love is and who renders my body with fire that gave me pleasure in each inch of my body. But don’t get me wrong; I am just a little girl who desires more than she could have. With the first side of love and no experience that could bite or burn me, I just jump to the face of the unknown. Again, life experiences taught me to be wise, brave, confident, courageous, and be the voice of myself and for others. In the beginning, it was not easy for me to stand up for myself and take matters in my own terms, but as days turned up against my wishes, strength builds confidence in me.

Still, somehow I cannot stop questioning my faith and intimidation of life bouncing through me. Some questions were not even meant to be answered, but still, I was wondering about the abrasiveness of these answers. How does it feel when you are in love with someone, but the person does not love you? It is like anger, sadness, or undesirable feeling? At the moment, I cannot tell where this trip or trek will lead people, but as far I am concerned, I hope it will end with options of happiness. There, happiness runs through our own imagination and intimidation, but to find true happiness, we have to face many obstacles to find a day of happiness and those worth to crave for it or to have hope for one that you might or might not find. Can I be the judge to this? Not really, but I will let you be the judge of your own because right now, I am not wise enough to say much about life.

The day that happiness was born and God of the glory was giving his blessing to people, my tears of five and sadness were calling happiness into my lonely world. Oh, oh it was a blessed and beautiful day—the sun was shining and it was hot outside and no clouds were singing with sorrow. People were happy and thankful to God, but I was crying and blaming God for making me unhappy; life was against me and the hours were turning bloated loneliness into fear. Days were harassing me outside, and air was poisoning me slowly. It was not just the people who I love who were turning their backs on me but every living thing in school. I was just thirteen years old, but a desperate young girl and naïve. It was the first time I crossed the beastliness and be blindly in love with a boy named Gracious. In all my imaginations and prayers, Gracious would ask me to at least to be his friend, and I would approach him, but even though Gracious knew I was madly in love with him and I had my eyes on him, he ignored me as if I was invisible or a concrete wall. The pain that tore my heart the most was that I couldn’t face the true music in me, and I kept hoping that one day, just one day, he will love me back at the right time. Gosh, I can’t believe that I loved him so much that my heart was crying for a lowlife boy that does not have any interest in me.

The most frightening part was when I see girls close to Gracious, it was like they were putting fire on my skin. Knowing that, thoughts run in my veins like a virus, but that is nothing than disillusion and anger that make me itchy. Nervously, I wish about all the bad things that a person could imagine in this world to happen to him. Because of jealousy, competition, confusion, loneliness, ignorance, and betrayal, evil built inside of me. But as much as I wish all these bad thoughts, there is one part of me that hated carrying out my wickedness on people, especially the ones that I love. And even though I surely know Gracious might never be with me, he makes me crave for his love, and the more I think about him, the more I mortally pray for his love. I mean, like, my heart beats every second glory his name and the more it beats, the more my heart was inflamed for his touch and desire, even when I know my love was doomed to come alive. I hope and pray nothing harmful should happen to him, although the torsion inside of me is wishing differently. Because his air is the air that I breathe, and he was the blood that runs in my veins. Mostly, I hope one day Gracious will see the future of us together.

Chapter 2

N ow I surely know why people are madly craving for love; when you are in love, there’s nothing you see but the person that you desire, and this is because you can’t control your emotions. Before these days, I always thought these people tied in the name of love are just crazy and overwhelmed with their emotions, but I was certainly wrong on my judgment, and who am I to blame myself if I have built concrete walls to protect me. Bijou is my name, and what my name means is one thing that gives me energy in life. It is a special name that means so many things, mostly in every language, especially in French. The meaning of bijou in French is a kiss, jewelry, or anything that’s beautiful. They called me Bijou because I was the brave, undefined words before the eyes of