Hope

By Rima Jbara

Hope is about a woman who lives in a drowned world and is going through a silent ruin, and finds comfort in believing that her own self exists as another being, and confides her inner most secrets to her. It all started with a dream, advancing to a nightmare that then became a reality. Hope plays a lonely game in silence until her dreams turn to dust. She lives her life through an illusion that ends with capturing her own light, making that moment an unforgettable day. This novel reveals in detail how a woman suffers from depression, and how it rules and guides her life through her journey in finding solace.

Official website www.rimajbara.com

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse UK
• Release date: May 22, 2017
• ISBN: 9781524681289

Rima Jbara

Rima Jbara was born on 20th August 1979, in Damas, and spent most of her childhood writing short stories and eventually novels. At the age of 14, she published her first novel and by the time she turned 15, she gave readers her first bestseller. Rima’s zest for writing continued as she released Road To Hell, The Mystique of Asmahan and Shams. It took Rima three years to write Hope, which was called “a masterpiece” by many critics and readers. Through her writing, Rima has fought tradition and reality, and has always chosen daring topics to shock conventional people.

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© 2017 Rima Jbara. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 05/17/2017

ISBN: 978-1-5246-8128-9 (e)

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models,

and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

CONTENTS

THIS IS MY JOURNEY

GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF THE CLOUDS

AND BACK TO EARTH

I JUST WANT TO BE PERFECT

I STILL HAVE A LONG WAY TO GO

OH! DADDY

MY ALBUM

HOW WILL I END UP?

BENEATH THE GROUND

WHAT HAPPENED?

THE END

JUST STARTING

THE INTERVIEW

TELL ME

J’ADORE

I WANT TO KNOW

VACATION

IF

WERE HERE

TRYING TO LIVE

AU REVOIR

ALIVE

ILLUSIONS

THE PSYCHIATRIST

TIME FOR A CHANGE

I WANT TO BE A PROFESSIONAL PAINTER

YOU OR NO ONE

GOODBYE

BEING LOST

ANOTHER DREAM

JE SUIS DESOLEE

FALLING LIKE A WATERFALL

DO I BELONG HERE?

I NEED YOU

THE NEWS

ROSE

ONE MORE CHANCE

YOU NEVER DIED

JE T’AIME

MAGIC

BLACK MOON

HIS STRANGE WIFE

MY BABY

MON AMOUR

THE TRIP

DROWNING WORLD

COME TO ME

SILENT RUIN

DON’T TELL ANYONE

MON COEUR

BACK WITH A HEART

HOPE HAS A PLACE

CONFIDE IN ME

PARDON

GONE

LONELINESS GAME

ONE DAY I’LL FLY AWAY

CRAZY ONES

AS I AM

IF ONLY

JE SUIS MALADE

FADING FAST

SHOULD I?

I PLEAD INSANITY

MORTALITY

SILENCE

WHEN DREAMS TURN TO DUST

DON’T TAKE MY HEAVEN

SHE’S WORLDS AWAY

CAPTURE THIS LIGHT

FORGET THIS DAY

GOODBYE

THIS IS MY JOURNEY

I must reach to where I must be

And see

What it feels like to be

A soul that is free

"All people dream. But I dream the hardest. I

must make this dream come true. And this is my

journey. I will not think of the place I want to

reach to, but of the journey itself. This journey

will be the base of my life. And I must make

sure it is a pure base, because all my future

depends on it. And with the end of this journey

my life ends."

Hope

GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF THE CLOUDS

AND BACK TO EARTH

Hope looked at her watch and it was exactly twelve o’clock. There was one more hour to finish this class. Hope realised that the class had started just ten minutes ago. There was no way to turn away. ‘How am I going to bear this class?’ Hope’s fingers reached for a pencil and she opened her notebook to draw. She loved drawing sketches and believed that they look classy. She concentrated as she moved her fingers slowly, forgetting that there was a professor who was watching her and that time was passing. It was one o’clock and the lesson had finished, while Hope had not finished her sketch. When she looked up, she saw her angry professor standing in front of her. Hope, will you please get your head out of the clouds and back to earth in my class next time? That is if you want to pass the course!

I JUST WANT TO BE PERFECT

Everybody is perfect at something in his or her life without recognising it. There is perfection. It is just that people don’t believe in it. I believe in it. I’m perfect in painting. I only have doubts, just like any other person who doubts himself because he wants to be perfect.

Reaching to perfection

Is not a reflection

But an injection

Right through your decision

I STILL HAVE A LONG WAY TO GO

For hours, Hope wasn’t able to sleep. She tossed around in her bed until she was fed up. She went to stand next to the window to look at the stars in the dark sky. ‘I want to shine like this star. I want to be unreachable.’ Hope lifted her head as she whispered, I still have a long way to go.

With a low sigh

I’m going to fly

up and high

OH! DADDY

Why don’t I have a daddy like the others?

You have one.

Where is he?

Dead somewhere.

You mean he’s not coming back?

Yes.

Why?

Because he gave up on life.

What?

Years have passed and I still don’t accept what was said to me that night.

Oh! Daddy

Why?

MY ALBUM

This was the beginning. A child’s imagination.

My first was Mermaids swimming. Mermaids brushing their hair. Mermaids sitting on rocks. Sunset, shading at the sea as it sets. A white swan wandering around in a huge pond. This is my album. Where I take a picture of each painting I did. This is the only reference I have to what I did in life.

HOW WILL I END UP?

Hope sat in her bed crying. I’m very exhausted and I can’t sleep. I can’t sleep. I can never sleep.

Suddenly, her mother opened the door slowly and entered her room, I came to check on you. I thought you were asleep. It’s very late.

I know, but I can’t sleep.

You are like your father.

Did he have the same problem?

Yes.

The door was closed again. Hope was worried now.

What else do I have like my father? Will I end up like he did?

BENEATH THE GROUND

How does it feel?

With no light

With no oxygen

With nothing to look at

With no one to listen your screams

Is it cold?

Is it hot?

Is the space too narrow?

Can you move?

Beneath the ground,

Where there is no sound

Where nothing is found

WHAT HAPPENED?

"It was dark. And I was running. Running to nowhere.

I was very scared. I was out of breath.

I was shivering. I was sweating. I was tired. I couldn’t run anymore. Please help me. Hide me. Protect me."

Why were you running?

I don’t know.

Where were you?

I don’t know.

Are you still scared?

I don’t know.

THE END

Now I will rest.

I’m finished with that test.

Enough

Life was rough.

I had no desire

To play with fire

Do I make sense?

Or what I’m speaking is nonsense?

JUST STARTING

Dear Monsieur Gerard,

I would like to thank you for selling my portraits in your art gallery. I hope we work together in future.

Merci beaucoup.

Hope

Hope went to the gallery of Monsieur Gerard to give her letter to his secretary. Then she went off, walking happily. Life was smiling at her. She was pleased that her paintings were sold. She earned good money. Hope had been selling her portraits since she was fourteen and that made her proud of herself. The money was given to her mother, who, in turn, kept it in a bank account for Hope. While walking, Hope was thinking of the new paintings she was planning to paint. Suddenly, she saw a gallery with beautiful paintings that were extremely unique. She decided to enter the gallery and look around for other paintings. Hope observed every single painting very closely for several minutes. She checked the prices that were very expensive, unlike her prices that were more reasonable. After an hour, she arrived home.

Hello mamma?

Hello sweetie.

How was your day?

It was exhausting, and what about yours?

It was fine. Oh! I’m so happy.

I hope always my dear. I deposited the money in the bank.

Thanks mamma.

I brought a new movie with me.

What is it called?

The Phantom of the Opera.

It’s not horror?

No, why?

It makes me dream of nightmares.

Are you still dreaming?

Yes, always.

That’s strange.

Shall I play it?

Okay, we better watch it now, so we can sleep early.

Yes, I have a lot of work tomorrow.

Hope and her mother Chantal sat to watch the movie, then they went off to sleep. Hope had another nightmare that night. She kept dreaming till morning when her mother woke her. There was horror in Hope’s eyes, which worried her mother,

What were you dreaming of?

I don’t remember.

Go on, wash your face and meet me in the kitchen.

Hope was ready in ten minutes and was in the kitchen, eating her pancake then drinking her fresh strawberry juice.

I want you to eat more. You’re thin. You must gain weight.

I never gain weight.

If you eat more than you’ll gain more weight.

After breakfast, each of them went to their respective work.

Hello, I see a change in you.

Hi Hope, called Natalie.

Oh! I wish I had your type of body. You’re full. Not like me thin. That new red hair colour suits you. You look fresh.

I wish I was thin like you, then I could wear anything, when you have my type of body you can’t wear anything you like.

Good morning, Florence said with a smile.

Florence, you look lovely in that new haircut. Don’t tell me you both went together?

Yes we did, Florence replied.

I have to admit short hair suits your long face. Natalie said.

You two are the most wonderful girls I’ve ever seen, Hope said, as she started to unpack the new collection from the boxes. The girls had to iron the clothes, put them so