Misty Journey Volume I

By Lawanda

There is a Misty in all of us. Misty has seen a lot of disappointment, fear, and rage in her short life. The one person that she was the closest to takes her on a journey through life's experiences from the past and present. Misty is going to learn a lot.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Apr 20, 2011
• ISBN: 9781456762735

Lawanda

Soul Story Writer presents: Lawanda. This is Lawanda's debut book. She has a very unique expression of storytelling. She will captivate your attention and intrigue your mind. Her passion for story telling is obvious in her creative style of writing. She brings her characters to life as she digs deep into the soul of the character and tells their story.

Book preview

Contents

Acknowledgement

Introduction

Me and My Shadow

MANUMIT

Inferno

Acknowledgement

I want to thank all of my supporters’ that has been here for me from day one. First, I want to thank you Momma for all your encouraging words that helped me to get through the low points of my life. Daddy, I want to thank you for believing in me. Tonya, keep pushing and giving cancer a black eye. Dubby, keep doing the right things in life, it will all pay off in the end. To my special friend Willie, thank you for helping see my vision, even when it was blurry. We have come a long ways and we have a long ways to go. Last but not least, thank you Jesus for giving me the strength and blessing me with loving family and friends that is here to encourage me, not bring me down.

I want to give a special thanks to everyone that purchase this book. It was written to encourage and inspire everyone that’s going through or has been through hardships’. Just know that you aren’t alone and keep the faith.

Introduction

It takes nine months to create a life

It only takes one second to lose the fight

Lying on a cold stretcher with my eyes closed

Listening to people trying to revive my lost soul

Thinking, it had to be a better way to live

So my life I will have to give

Not caring who I hurt or degrade

God help me get out of this life that I made

Taking a journey back in time to see how far I’ve come

Somebody had to remind me of where I come from

So I can stop living my life like I am numb

But I can’t stay, because my life has just begun

Oh no wait, I’m not ready to die yet

Then I realized this life has been a test

This is my journey of my blood-coated tears

I had to battle a lot of obstacles and fears

Me and My Shadow

The smell was so strong; it smelled like death. How does death smell? Is it me that is dying? Where will I end up? What is happening to me? Why is this happening to me?

My eyes quickly flickered back and forth. I vaguely saw a white jacket out of the corner of my eyes.

Ms. Jones, Ms. Jones, said someone who had a tight masculine grip on my hand. Can you hear me?

I could hear him, but I couldn’t speak or move. I felt like I was trapped inside my body and there was no way out. I’ve felt like this so many times, but I usually could snap out of it. This time, I couldn’t.

We can’t find a vein.

Someone else yelled, She’s a drug addict! All of her veins have collapsed!

That’s what my label was? Drug addict? Where did I go wrong?

BEEEEEP! Dr. Dye, we’re losing her! someone said.

Keep doing the chest compressions!

They were pulling on me and tugging on my arm. Suddenly, damn! It felt like a pound of bricks lying on my chest! I was gasping for air, but I couldn’t breathe. Help me, I tried to say, but the words rolled off my tongue and landed on the floor unnoticed. What was happening to me?

It all began two weeks earlier. I was depressed and unhappy with my boyfriend, Lee. I was in my house and had been smoking crack and shooting up heroin for about three days straight. My body smelled like a garbage can or sewage, but I didn’t care. I just wanted to get high. I looked around my empty room and realized that my life was just as empty as the room. I began to cry. I don’t know why. This wasn’t the first time I got high, but this time the feeling was different. I can’t quite explain it; it was just different. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw a different part of my life flash in through my mind.

All of a sudden, I felt my body floating on air like a bird flying south for the winter. Why am I feeling like this? I kept thinking. Finally, my eyes opened. I thought I was still in the hospital. Or, was I having a dream?

I swiftly surveyed my surroundings, but I didn’t recognize the place. I was in a small confined room with white walls and all white furniture. I was lying on a feather-like sofa. That’s why I felt like I was floating on air.

I quickly leaped from the sofa and began searching for a door to get out, but there wasn’t one. I began to bang on the cold cement walls, screaming, Help, Help! No one heard me – the story of my life.

I rushed back to the sofa and lay down in hopes that I would return to the hospital. I closed my eyes and held them together tightly, crossing my fingers and trying to cross my toes, making a wish to go back home. Home, that’s a place I haven’t wanted to return to in years. I held this position for about five minutes. Nothing happened. I opened my eyes. I was still in the cold white room.

I sat up and looked around the room again, hoping to find something that would lead me out of there. Maybe I overlooked a crack in the wall, or maybe there was a secret door where I could push a button for it to open. I pressed my face against the cold cement wall, hoping to hear something or somebody.

Wait a minute! I heard something. What was that noise? I couldn’t make out what it was. The sound was so familiar. It was someone singing my Grandma’s favorite song. I looked over to the right and I saw Grandma standing there singing. She had on a white choir robe, her hair was pushed back in a bun, and she was glowing like an angel.

I screamed out to her, GRANDMA, GRANDMA!

She stopped singing for a second, and then she winked her eye at me. Hey, baby! She gave a soft and breezy wave, and then she disappeared. At that moment, my body felt lifeless and I collapsed on the cold floor.

Misty. I opened my eyes. My face turned as white as the room. I’ll be damned; I saw my grandma once again. I was able to pull my heavy body from the floor, stuttering, Graaaaanddddmmmaaa, is that you?

She began to smile. "Hey, baby. How you?’ I quickly rushed over to her and started to weep. My arms gripped her neck tightly.

I can’t believe this is you; I’ve missed you so much!

She slowly turned around and sat down on that fluffy sofa. She pointed at me with a little smirk. Come over here and sit next to me.

I hesitated for a moment. Grandma, am I dead?

She looked up to the ceiling as if she had to think about it. Let me talk to you. Sit right next to me like you use to.

I sat next to her, and she continued to glow. She smiled and her teeth gleamed. So what is going on with you child?

I burst into a sudden cry. Grandma, you just don’t understand. After you died, everything went wrong.

She leaned over to me and consoled me, then said in a stern, yet loving, voice, Hush up all that crying. You know that things happen and you can’t fall apart.

I interrupted her. I was so young when things started happening.

She put her hand up to my mouth. Baby, I wasn’t physically there with you, but I knew what was going on.

I looked at Grandma with confusion in my eyes. So if you knew the things that I was going through, you should understand why I did the things I did.

No, I don’t! she quickly replied.

I couldn’t believe her. Who did she think she was, blaming me for something? In anger, I jumped up from the sofa and started ranting and raving; tears poured from my face.

What do you mean you don’t understand why I acted the way I did? It seemed like I was destined to be nothing. Every day for two years, Momma told me I was going to be nothing. Her loser-ass boyfriend used to make sure I understood that I wasn’t nothing and was never going to be nothing!

During my rant, Grandma never uttered a word. She just sat there glowing. When I realized she hadn’t spoken any words, I stopped. She rose up from the sofa and slowly walked over to me.

Are you finished?

I was sort of embarrassed, but it was too late. Yes, I’m finished.

She smiled. Good. That’s why I am here.

I looked at her confused. Am I dead?

She shrugged her shoulders. Spiritually and mentally you are dead. I shook my head in disbelief. I didn’t understand what she meant.

Don’t look at me like that.

I stopped shaking my head. Grandma, this is weird.

She blurted out a loud laugh. That’s what’s so beautiful about you. You could always make me laugh. She turned away from me and pointed at the white wall. Remember him? My father’s image cascaded down the wall.

I turned to her, outraged. Why are you doing this to me?

She glanced at me in disbelief. Why are you acting like this? I thought that you would want to remember your father.

I gazed at the wall in horror. I don’t want to remember him.

Grandma walked over to me. Why not?

I just don’t want to remember the past. It ain’t going to change right now.

Grandma smiled like I said something funny. I see you don’t want to remember the good things in your life. You just want to wallow in the bad things that happened.

That’s not it! I yelled.

Baby girl, let me show you some things in your life that you need to confront.

I began to cry and yell like a three-year-old. No, I can’t do this! I won’t do this! Once I finished yelling like a maniac, I opened my eyes and wiped the tears from my face. I realized that I was in familiar surroundings.

This was my old room at my dad’s house in Detroit. I looked around the room and a warm feeling flooded my body, the feeling of security. I hadn‘t felt this way in so long. I just stared around the room. There was a white canopy bed pressed up against the wall, a white oak desk that my father hand-carved and painted and a matching dresser drawer. The wall was covered with posters. Oh my goodness, my old diary! I captured every moment