The 14 Virtues of the Good Father: Navigational Tools for the Father Inside of Every Man

By Bruce D. Edwards JD LLM

Recent studies conducted by the National Center for Fathering and National Fatherhood Initiative show that only fifty percent of children spend their childhood in an intact family, and about one-third of all children live apart from their biological fathers.

As a father, your involvement is much greater than your mere presence. Fathers must ensure that their deeds exemplify their words in that the father exhibits the behavior he instills in his children.

Bruce D. Edwards, JD, LLM, has mentored hundreds of young children, and hes witnessed what it means when they have a father figure in their lives. In his book, Bruce shares impactful qualities to becoming a better father and role model. Learn how to:

develop the necessary spiritual awareness to lead and guide children;

invest the necessary time and effort to be a great father figure;

show affection and love to boost a childs self-esteem; and

comprehend what it means to spend quality time with children.

Whether youre a parent, grandparent, guardian, teacher, mentor, or an adult who wants to make a difference by cultivating lasting connections with children, The 14 Virtues of the Good Father is a great resource guide to assist in developing and nurturing fatherly relationships.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Archway Publishing
• Release date: Dec 28, 2016
• ISBN: 9781480835849

Bruce D. Edwards JD LLM

Bruce D. Edwards, JD, LLM, a native of Fort Lauderdale, Florida, is a family law attorney, community activist, relationship coach, mentor, and advocate with offices in the Washington, D.C. area and Baltimore. He enjoys spending time with his wife and two daughters in Prince George’s County, Maryland.

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Copyright © 2016 Bruce D. Edwards, JD, LLM.

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Scripture taken from the King James Version.

Scripture quotations are from the ESV® Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scriptures taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com The NIV and New International Version are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.™

Scripture is taken from GOD’S WORD®, © 1995 God’s Word to the Nations. Used by permission of Baker Publishing Group.

Scripture quotations taken from the Amplified® Bible (AMPC),

Copyright © 1954, 1958, 1962, 1964, 1965, 1987 by The Lockman Foundation

Used by permission. www.Lockman.org

Scripture quotations taken from the New American Standard Bible® (NASB),

Copyright © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973,

1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation

Used by permission. www.Lockman.org

Scripture taken from the Holy Bible: International Standard Version®. Copyright © 1996-forever by The ISV Foundation. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED INTERNATIONALLY. Used by permission.

Scripture taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Archway Publishing

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

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ISBN: 978-1-4808-3583-2 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4808-3585-6 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-4808-3584-9 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2016916496

Archway Publishing rev. date: 12/22/2016

CONTENTS

Foreword

Introduction

1 Self-Identity

2 Confidence

3 Affection

4 Time

5 Wisdom

6 Discipline/Consistency

7 Protection

8 Humility

9 Patience/Tolerance

10 Character

11 Accountability

12 Forgiveness

13 Spiritual Growth

14 Legacy

15 In Summation

16 Short Yet Sweet Nonetheless

About the Author

TO

THE MEN WHO HAVE ASSISTED IN MY GROWTH AND DEVELOPMENT:

Fred Jones

Levoyd Williams

Carlton Moore Sr. (posthumously)

Charles Brown

Felix Fernandez

Carlton Ingram Sr. (posthumously)

Jeffery Ingram

Stanley Edwards Sr.

Stanley Austin Edwards Jr. (posthumously)

Lawyer Pasco Edwards (posthumously)

Bruce Alexander Edwards Sr.

David Edwards

Daryl Grant

Kenya Allen

Reverend Willie Dubose (posthumously)

Pastor Fred Davis (posthumously)

Fred Panky Williams (posthumously)

Rev. Dr. H. Beecher Hicks Jr.

Bishop Dwayne C. Debnam

Bishop Joel R. Peebles Sr.

Don Edward Stout Sr. (posthumously)

Brother Moses Vincent

Deacon Clifford Lynch

The 300 Men March Movement (Baltimore, Maryland)

Thank-Yous and Motivation

With love to the following:

my lovely wife, Rhonda L. Edwards

my beautiful daughters, Ashahli and Brooke Edwards

my loving mother, Dianne T. Edwards

my supportive sister, Demesha L. Edwards-Bentley

good friend, colleague, and conqueror, Ms. Desiree Marcano, Esq.

And to all the single mothers raising their children alone!

And to all the godly, committed fathers, I see you!

FOREWORD

THE 14 VIRTUES OF THE GOOD FATHER SPEAKS TO fatherhood through the lens of one man to another. This book provides encouragement to all men who aspire to be the best fathers, dads, husbands, brothers, and friends they can be. The reader is inspired to examine himself—his boyish tendencies, immature choices, and misogynistic thinking—to gain an understanding of the areas he needs to improve on to become a better lover and father. Men who are comfortable expressing love and affection toward their children give back to the community in ways they cannot comprehend.

The word virtues in the title of this book depicts action. The virtues described herein are not merely good ideas, talking points, or a list of theoretical approaches on how a man should live; virtues seek to correct and attack the cancerous malbehavior that inhibits the growth and sustainable of relationships and communities. The author’s description of a good father is truly of a man who possesses virtue or displays high moral standards through his actions. And as I have heard Pastor Creflo Dollar say on more than one occasion, your thoughts control your behavior. For as a man thinketh, so is he (Prov. 23:7 KJV). Thus, in order to show high moral standards, one must fill his mind, as the Apostle Paul suggests in Philippians 4:8 AMP, with whatsoever is true, honest, just, pure, lovely, and of good report.

The author was able to write on this subject because he has a God-given gift of supernatural insight and wisdom beyond his years. His style is practical and straightforward. He has a unique ability to read and decipher human behavior that I will admit has made me frustrated at times and initiated many unpleasant conversations between the two of us—mostly because of my refusal to admit that he was right about the collective behavior and character of a close friend or family member and how to salvage the relationship going forward. I can recall numerous discussions where he attempted to warn friends and loved ones that their behavior was detrimental to them or to someone else. I think many people refused to heed his warnings out of rebellion. The worst part was finding out that if they had only listened, they would have saved themselves from heartache, pain, and financial despair. I remember on one occasion, Bruce reached out to a father who had a history of helping his children. I did not see the harm in a father helping his children, especially in light of the fact that the father was blessed financially to have the freedom to help his children. I would always tell Bruce that it was okay in this instance, because if he didn’t help his children, we would probably be ridiculing him for that. However, Bruce saw it differently. He agreed that a father should help his children if he has the financial means to do so. He disagreed with me in that after a period of time—and considering the bad decisions the children made after receiving help from their father—the father needed to cut them off. I truly believe that the father’s desire to help his children was sincere, but in hindsight—as Bruce pointed out—the father’s kindness to his children was not helping them. The father’s help was enabling his children to continue a cycle of deviant and dysfunctional behavior. Whether done with love and good intentions or out of a desire to please others and selfishness, Bruce would always remind the father that the best helping hand is the one that eventually lets go. Yet the father never could bring himself to tell his children no. He refused to act on Bruce’s warnings. Sure enough, each time, his help never reached its intended purpose and was always squandered away. Sometimes we are unable to receive a word of advice that will help us, yet we dismiss it, because we don’t like the messenger, don’t like the message, or simply think we don’t need help.

My desire is that if this book has landed in your hands that it will be a blessing to you and your household. My prayer is that our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ will impart his salvation upon you and your household that you might be redeemed by his blood to forgive, love, and be at peace. So that the mind of Christ may abide in you and you in Him, so that you and your household can be free, unencumbered by any hindrances, toils, or snares, to live a life that is holy unto the Lord our God that you might prosper as a father, dad, husband, brother, uncle, nephew, cousin, or friend to be a VIRTUOUS MAN OF GOD and take your rightful place in all of humanity.

This book is timely and relevant in an era where people from all walks of life are willing to recognize that police brutality, racial profiling, and bigotry are still prevalent. In the 21st century, men of color, particularly black men, are hunted, caged, pursued, and exploited, mocked, used, and abused. The black man’s self-worth and self-identity are still under attack. His self-pride and self-esteem are diminished, and his children continue to select role models that are not a reflection of the household in which they are raised.

As an advocate, proponent, and staunch supporter of his community, this subject is near and dear to the author’s heart. He is culturally conscious and desires to attack the struggles black men face that jeopardize the family and the community. Practicing the 14 virtues of a good father will enhance your willingness to be transparent, vulnerable, and empathetic with your loved ones. Whether you are a parent who lives in or outside of the home where your child resides, these principles will help you maximize your impact on your seed.

Rhonda L. Edwards, JD, MPH

INTRODUCTION

You will know them by their fruits. Grapes are not gathered from thorn bushes nor figs from thistles, are they? So every good tree bears good fruit, but the bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot produce bad fruit, nor can a bad tree produce good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. So then, you will know them by their fruits.²

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THIS BOOK WAS COMPOSED WITH THE INTENTION OF INCORPOrating and developing a strategic formulation that draws on the collective idealism of men helping men by holding one another accountable in godly love. In my opinion, God’s word allows us to accomplish this feat, achieving a three-prong relationship that builds upon the varied generational stages of development for an adult male’s evolution. And in the end, all three relationships are interwoven beautifully and help create a wealth of progressive fathers who are