Hey, Lady! Hey, Waitress! Hey, Miss!: Yoo-Hoo, Stewardess!

By Jeanne Webb

Author Jeanne Webb served as a flight attendant for one of the largest airlines in the United States for over three decades, from the 1950s through the 1980s. During that time, she encountered all kinds of personalities in her work, both on and off the airplane.

In Hey, Lady! Hey, Waitress! Hey, Miss!, she shares some of her most memorable stories from that time period. The life of a flight attendant was unique during Webbs career, and she recorded many of her stories in diaries and journals. Now she recalls strange conversations and events, as well as humorous, rewarding, and sometimes aggravating interactions with a wide range of passengers. Featuring celebrity encounters, bizarre requests, medical emergencies, and poignant recollections, these stories illustrate the unusual situations faced by flight attendants on a daily basis.

In this personal narrative, one woman paints an intriguing picture of the exciting and occasionally crazy experiences of flight attendants in the latter half of the twentieth century.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Archway Publishing
• Release date: Oct 2, 2015
• ISBN: 9781480820913

Jeanne Webb

Jeanne Webb graduated from Marshall University in Huntington, West Virginia. She spent thirty-two years serving as a flight attendant for one of the largest airlines in the United States; during that time, she was based in Miami and Chicago. She currently lives in Cooper City, Florida.

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Copyright © 2015 Jeanne Webb.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

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ISBN: 978-1-4808-2089-0 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4808-2090-6 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-4808-2091-3 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2015913739

Archway Publishing rev. date: 10/2/2015

Contents

Chapter 1 Hey, Lady! Hey, Waitress! Hey, Miss!

Chapter 2 Training and Takeoff

Chapter 3 Strange and Funny Events

Chapter 4 A Mixture of Events

Chapter 5 Layovers

Chapter 6 Crew Stories

Chapter 7 So You Think That You Have Heard It All

Chapter 8 More Passenger Comments and Actions

Chapter 9 Are You Tired Yet?

Chapter 10 My Personal Conclusions

Chapter 1

Hey, Lady! Hey, Waitress! Hey, Miss!

This book is based on my experiences as well as those of other airline employees during my thirty-one years working as a flight attendant with one of America’s leading airlines. You have most likely heard a lot of stories about airline people, and most of them probably have some truth to them or are at least based somewhat on an actual experience that someone had during his or her career. However, other equally interesting events take place. They are not all humorous, and some are actually depressing; however, they all fit into the overall picture of the glamorous career of an airline flight attendant.

I was raised by my Grandparents on a farm just outside Huntington, West Virginia. I graduated from Buffalo High school and Marshall University. I decided that I wanted to be a stewardess while in high school, and everyone thought that I was either crazy or kidding. My first choice had been to be a doctor, and I took courses toward that end. I waited until I was old enough and started to contact the airlines for an interview. They accepted me, and off I went to fly for an airline.

Working for the airlines in the fifties was somewhat difficult. The pay was not good, and the hours were long. If you were based in a large city, the rent was high. Cleaning of uniforms plus food and transportation were more than a lot of us could afford, so calling or writing home for money was very common. Another regular practice was accepting dates that you knew were going to take you to dinner or lunch because you could always bring home a doggie bag for a roommate. It was common to accept rides to the airport with people you did not know too well. It was probably unsafe then, and we all know it would be dangerous today.

Airline employees live entirely different lifestyles than the employees of other companies. That was truer in the early days when so many night coaches were flown and so many flights were arriving and departing at all hours of the day and night. Sometimes you would arrive at your destination or at home at 2:30 in the morning and would feel so energetic that your evenings would just start up at that point. Most nightclubs, bars, and restaurants were open until five o’clock in the morning, so often you would make dates for those odd hours. Plus there were always parties going on at somebody’s apartment. It was common for airline people to get in their cars and drive around for hours or just go for long walks to relax and wind down from a really long and exhausting flight. In the earlier days, it was safe to do those things. You never worried about danger or crime of any kind, not even on the subways or elevated trains.

The people who are working in the airline industry today have no inkling of how great the job once was. I often joke that we had a great thing going for us until the world found out about it and ruined it! Although the pay was not all that great, we got to travel, have fun, and meet and talk to lots of famous people. We received many wonderful gifts and invitations to big events. Even though we worked hard on long flights with multiple stops, our memories of those flights are great. The passengers were very nice, and they dressed up in their finest attire to fly. The flights were interesting and fun, and the respect for flight crews was outstanding. It was an honor and a real privilege to work as a flight crew member. The jobs were not easy to get either. Sometimes fifty people would interview for one position. You had to be a college graduate, and early on you had to be a registered nurse as well.

In the fifties, the pilots were mostly World War II veterans, and they were very good pilots. They were not privy to the later technological flying aids and computer assistance that pilots have today. I guess you could say that they flew by the seat of their pants, whatever that means. Then came the veterans of the Korean and Vietnam wars. They were an entirely new generation of good pilots. It took a while before they all had respect for each other’s ability, but everyone blended into the family after a while. Commercial flying was a little boring to the new pilots compared to the military flying that they had been doing, but they quickly adjusted.

Airline crews were just like big families. We all knew the dangers of the job and were very serious about what we might have to do at some point, but we were professionals and were very adept at doing the job. We did not dwell on the dangers, which were very few when compared to the number of flights in the air at any given time. We knew how to make everyone feel comfortable, and we did a lot of kidding around about things that most people today would make a big deal out of. But back then, this made the passengers feel more relaxed.

One thing that I did learn quite early was that you could joke with people and tease them, and they would take it as you intended it. They would respond in kind, and most of the time, if they were upset, you could get them in a better mood by doing just that. Of course, if they were upset for personal reasons or family illness or death, you would help by showing compassion and a real interest in them and their problems. In other words, there is a time for recognizing the difference and acting accordingly. Most of the time, they would get off the flight feeling much happier. They would tell you how much they had enjoyed the flight and praise you for being so nice and cheerful. Sometimes you would even receive a big hug on their way out. That is what made flying so great.

In January of 1956, the year that I was reporting for training, a Martin 404 airplane skidded off the end of the runway during a snowstorm in Huntington, West Virginia, and went down a hill nose-first. The nose of the plane was only held by some trees and a rock when it stopped. Thank goodness for the trees and rocks because the plane might have continued to slide to the bottom of the hill and would have landed on its nose. No one was seriously injured. Everyone kept asking me why I would still want a flight attendant job? That incident wasn’t a deterrent to me because I knew that most flights had no problems, but of course, you never heard about those flights. As with anything else, you only hear about the bad things that happen.

The title of this book came easy because it is a big part of being a flight attendant. The minute we put our smocks on, the passengers knew that we were ready to start the beverage or meal service. I guess it is human nature to want to be served first. As we would start toward the galley, people would grab our aprons and yell, Hey, lady, Hey, waitress, Hey, stewardess, or Hey, miss. We even got a Hey, you, a Yoo-hoo, or a Hey, lunch lady every so often. Believe me that those were nice words compared to what some people were called.

I loved my job and would not have been as happy in any other career. While I was writing the following pages of actual events and conversations, I did so with love, wonderful memories, and a terrible chronic cough, which could be attributed to all the smoke on the airplanes. A lot of these things made me chuckle when I wrote them, and many made me realize that no two people were alike, even when they faced the same situations. Flying is a lot like driving. It can easily bring out both the best and the worst in people.

I have often said that if I was in the business of blackmailing well-known people, I would have been very wealthy … or in prison. It is amazing what we saw and heard, and it still shocks me to think of some of the chances that some people took.

When I started flying, I began keeping a journal of conversations and events that took place on my trips. Sometimes they were just too good to forget. This book contains only a small portion of those events. I could fill two more books and still have stories left over. It is my love and fond memories of the chuckles in life that make it so easy for me to share some of these with you.

As you will notice throughout the book, most of the funny things relate to plays on words. That is why they were accepted as funny or as jokes rather than nasty or dirty comments. Everything has to be so politically and socially correct these days that people would probably take offense to the least off-color comment. That must make working together very stressful for men and women who work together in certain jobs. Sometimes a little humor goes a long way in making for a good working environment.

I have had so many laughs throughout the years that whatever bad things have happened seem to later get turned into humorous situations. Depending on your mood and how things affect you, you can find humor in even the worst of things most of the time.

A lot of the girls in training class were from smaller towns, but many of them were from larger towns. They were a bit worldlier than the small-town girls. Being a small-town girl, I found that this experience was an education in itself. Everyone had different accents, and they were very different in how they felt about various things. Most were outgoing, but some were quite timid.

Many in the class had boyfriends back home, but most of those romances did not last for very long after the girls arrived at school. There were so many opportunities to meet and date other people, and their absence during that time made it hard for a relationship to continue. Flight attendants could not be married in those days, so some guys did not like that.

I would have highly recommended a career as an airline flight attendant in years past, but today I actually feel terrible when I see how they are treated. People do not seem to have the respect for them that they did when I was flying. Some people are rude and nasty to flight attendants for no real reason. They have nothing to do with delays and cancellations, and neither do the front crews; however, people take out real rage on them. They are there for your safety in case anything goes wrong. Hanging coats, serving food, trying to solve your problems, and listening to your complaints are all extra services that are included. But their true reason for being on board is safety.

In the chapters to follow, I hope to let you know about a few situations that a flight attendant encounters. Some of these events are funny (ha-ha) and others are funny (strange). There are also things that happened and have no explanation. During a flight career, these things could be entertaining, sad, funny, frustrating, enjoyable, embarrassing, and crazy. Every flight was different in some way, and the differences were incredible and sometimes unbelievable. It was like waiting for the next shoe to drop. (And it usually did.)

It is my hope that you will find my experiences entertaining and enlightening.

Chapter 2

Training and Takeoff

After interviews with three different airlines, I made a decision on which one I preferred. It was one of the major airlines in the United States. It was Eastern Airlines, known for their great silver fleet at the time. I flew to the airline training center in Miami, which turned out to be paradise for anyone living above the Mason-Dixon Line in the wintry snow states. Five of us arrived on the same plane, but we were from different parts of the country. Since we were the first trainees to arrive, we were given living quarters in the main building. Our room was upstairs over a nice restaurant where violin music played nightly. There was a very unusual bar there as well. The lighting made everything in the bar glow in the darkness, and it was really cute and cozy.

While I was in training, I learned to get up at least an hour before the normal time. With the five of us using one bathroom, it was easier for me to get up and get dressed before the race began. The beautiful violin music could not compensate for the swarms of mosquitoes that took a shortcut through our room every night. There was no air-conditioning, so the property manager left the doors open, and every night the mosquitoes were like dive bombers around our faces and ears.

We had five weeks of training with tests and hands-on procedures. When they wanted volunteers, someone would always kick the front row of desks forward. We served meals to each other and picked up trays to put away. We practiced safety drills, firefighting, first aid, and other safety measures. We originally did our ditching with the coast guard, but later we did it in a pool. We had to go overboard into the water and set up our raft and safety equipment. Then we had to get in and put up the canopy. We also trained for emergency evacuations in an airplane mock-up. In fact, one girl sprained her ankle when she was evacuating down a slide, and she had to use crutches for a while. A few others had bruises, but everyone survived.

In our training we also practiced putting out different types of fires with different types of fire extinguishers, and we learned how to identify and treat different kinds of injuries and illnesses that we might encounter at some time. Our training was top notch, and we were required to repeat it once each year thereafter. The class was called ditching.

One night during training when I was getting back after curfew, I ran up the stairs and bumped into the head of our training school. I was afraid that I was going to get a lecture, but instead he said hello and asked if I had enjoyed my evening. I told him that I had and gave him a wave good night. I was very upset, and it was a restless night for me. But luckily nothing ever came of it. He was a real sweetheart anyway, but I was in the wrong.

After graduation five of us were sent to Chicago. Two of us were the youngest in the class, and at that time you would bid for the base you wanted by age. Two girls lived in Chicago, so they made a bid to go home, and the fifth one actually wanted to go to Chicago.

I was grounded because I had ruptured my eardrum on my familiarization flight, and I had to remain at the training school for quite a while after graduation. My familiarization flight was to Jacksonville on a Lockheed Constellation. The other two girls I planned on sharing an apartment with had already found a place for us to live by the time I got up there. I rode coach up to Chicago on a night trip. It was full, so I sat in the cockpit jump seat on the way. That was a great experience for me. I had headphones, and I had a chance to listen to the air traffic controllers’ conversations with the crews. It was exciting.

One girl lived in Chicago, and she brought us