Whispers in the Wind: Conversations in the Night

By Jahn Michael

The dreams, the pain, the longing, the alone, the fears, the abuse, the love, the forgiveness of the survivor. The beauty, the strength, the memories of ordinary people in our lives. A homeless woman and her friends who abandoned her. A young man who cannot leave his room for fear. A "special" friend who whispers he did not think "special" was a good thing. Poems telling a story of fear, love, hatred, abuse, mental illness, depression, homelessness, the pain of loss, and the beauty of the invisible around us.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Jun 2, 2009
• ISBN: 9781462827589

Jahn Michael

Jahn Michael has a master's degree in mathematics in the 1970's from the University of Utah. But that is not what this book is about or what qualifies Jahn Michael to be a poet. Mathematicians solve problems and explore strange and wonderful universes. As a poet Jahn explores homelessness, mental illness, the universe of the abuse survivor, soldiers who follow orders, and the pain that follows great loss. Jahn tries to see the beauty in the world that can only be seen through the eyes of a survivor.

Book preview

Copyright © 2009 by Jahn Michael.

ISBN:         Hardcover                               978-1-4415-3746-1

                  Softcover                                 978-1-4415-3745-4

                  Ebook                                     9781462827589

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This book was printed in the United States of America.

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Contents

Conversations in the Night

Don’t send me home

Ashamed

Remembering why

My name is Mary

Finding yourself

Sleepy

In all this

Raging

The Missive

I am alone

A New Year

Delusions

We hoped to hard

Can you see the beauty?

I never left

for you i tremble

Who are you?

Too many dreams

When I die

No longer owned

Broken no more

Tears

Understanding

I will loan you my tears

The land that made me—me

Tea and Biscuits

A Rainbow of Tears

Shadows

The somewhere of nowhere

Gnomes

Absent

My guardian angel

One by one

Big brown watery eyes

Smile

You are

Lost in the Multitudes

Reflections of a New Year

Looking down

The others

Forgiveness

Do I have to put my shoes back on?

Conversations in the night

Hidden

Water Violets & Tulipwood

Perfume

Angel

Grandma’s Angel

Decision

A lie

Angst

Wind

The Grey

Today

Help me

Listen to the words I cannot say

Princess

The man

Tangerines

Blue Room

Mystery

The night is so long

Toiling and Bleeding

Server on the moon

Missive

Black and White and Blue

Sealed In Amber

Clouds and Dreams

Abandoned

Casting For Pearls

Chasing The Eef

A moment

His emails

Moving on

My friend

Existence

Trailer Park

The whispers in the wind

Long ago

Escape

A Circle

File Box

Stations

Blue and White Missive

In this Season

Misty Mornings

I just want to know

No Longer Afraid

Insanity

Silent

I am not him

What Happened?

A touch

The Burden

Shadows

Space and Time

The space between

A child

Catching Up With Strangers

Hidden

Time

Whispers

Say Goodnight and Go

Ancient ones

Tiny hands

The Rhododendrons

Road out of hell

Dreams

Voices

My Lady I Am Flailing

Secret Place

Mothers kiss

and there

Blinding Flashes

I will

Dignity

One day

Spilt-a-parts

Resentment and Denial

Window

Happy lies

Little One

Someone

Dreams

When I wake it all returns

No words

Moments

The Lady

Hidden

Alone together

the seas are undecided

You are

9-1-1

I would shout My Lady!!!

Reflections

Lies all vanish

Special

Standing alone

Forgiveness

Wondering

Old man cactus defying the sky

heart palpitations

Whispers in the dark

went day

A ghost in the life of my friend

Mourning

The We of I

Storms

I am afraid

One Night

Punkie-boo

Wondering

In silence

Submission

The Lost Remembered

How do you survive?

Shadows

Dedication

The dreams, the pain, the longing,

the alone, the fears, the abuse, the love, of the survivor,

of beauty, of strength, of memories,

of the strength of ordinary people in our lives,

a homeless woman and her friends who left her,

a young man who cannot leave his room for fear,

a young mother who burns and cuts herself to find relief,

a bi-polar young man who dies on Christmas morning many years ago,

a professor who finds strength from his students,

a friend special dreaming of his princess,

a friend to afraid to go home,

a friend abandoned by his family now homeless and alone,

soldiers serving obeying orders,

their families will never know.

The past of the future looking forward hoping.

The future of the past looking back wondering.

Introduction

A special thanks to those who helped with this book

Some were muses

Some loaned a word

Some loaned a tear

Some loaned their heart

Some read a poem and said thank you

Some gasped

Some screamed NO

Some read a poem and cried

Some shared the story of their life

Some shared secrets to great to be told

Some homeless

Some abused

Some so afraid

Some filled with mental illness surviving alone

Some special

Some broke my heart

A special thanks to

Colleen and her childhood friend Penny

Dianne living 5 hours in the future

Christy

Chelsea

Susan

Pete

Michael

Danny

Mary and her dog

Sleepy a Guardian Angel

Lainey

Jeweled Bliss

Alien

Fractured

Emma

Barbara

Erin and his sister

Russell and his special sister

Conversations in the Night

My tears tell me

My heart still beats

Eyes flutter to beat away memories

My heart breaks

You did not share your world

You are gone in my darkest hour

Forbidden and refused

Alone in despair

Eyes once filled with compassion

Silent sits the toy lost forgotten

Butterfly wings laughter and smiles of little ones

Whisper and I will hear you

Standing in the shadow of memories

I vanish away

My heart palpates at a thought

Flashes white light I stager numb

I hold your memory in my heart

Until the fatal day that it fades and ceases to haunt

This ghost this lost soul

Praised by some abandoned by most

Bowed to the ground I cannot stand

I cry to God overwhelmed when I am alone

Only in the alone do we learn compassion

Only when we lose compassion do we find it

Don’t send me home

Feeling the pain of the crushing blow

I had dyslexia

Was little compared to the blow from the loved one

My father said I was lazy

Who said it wasn’t enough

I told my father I needed help to understand

You weren’t enough

Make the ringing stop it is so loud

That you should never have been born

I saw flashes of white light as I fell to the ground

You are a disappointment

I walked the busy street again last night

Bruises fade

I was praying to God that he send someone

Broken bones heal

I was hoping to be taken raped and killed

But hearts savagely torn to shreds never heal

My father had a hard day

there are two voices in this poem

the woman grown looking back

the woman as a child looking forward

the two looking at their father

the child forgiving her father but wanting to die

the woman with the heart that never healed

the woman wondering about the dreams of the child

the child wondering of the future

the two reach across space and time

and in the poem for a moment connect

the words of each, the woman and the child

can be read separately

then they should be read as if the two are touching

each other for a moment across space and time

remembering their father together

Ashamed

Her skin darkly tanned

No boils scratches burses or plague

Her smile had such warmth

Her clothes were neat

She was cautious

Her eyes never moved for fear

We chatted for a minute

She was busy about her task

She held a cardboard sign

Homeless

She was sick alone discarded

She brought a tear to my eye

I gave her my number

I begged her to call in vain

The men in her life all let her down

I asked her what I could do

She said she was not a whore

She stole my heart

I prayed to God for all her dreams

I opened my