Eggshells Unbroken

By Jan Hofer Wenaas

It is the 1960s in Lewistown, Montana, and Janie Bishop has more struggles to face than any high school senior should have to deal with. Her life changed overnight when her mom was diagnosed with cancer. But this is only the beginning of her challenges. Finding out she is pregnant is almost more than she can deal with. Will her faith and strong family values carry her through to complete her dream of becoming a teacher? This heartwarming, inspiring story reminds us if we depend on the one who is in control, our life promises to provide things we cannot begin to imagine.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Inspiring Voices
• Release date: Jan 20, 2016
• ISBN: 9781462411740

Jan Hofer Wenaas

I am a busy wife, a mother of six, and a grandmother of thirteen. Retired after thirty years with the federal government, I have always had a strong urge to write a book. Life brings many challenges that allow us to grow in our faith and character. My oldest daughter, Jodi, is multi-handicapped, which has led me down wonderful paths to help her and others who are developmentally disabled. I find much joy with my family and friends. I live in Montana and appreciate all the beauty this state has to offer.

Book preview

CHAPTER 1

MAY 1969. Janie Bishop had just ran her fastest time in the 100 yard dash. A junior at Lewistown High, she was competing against three seniors and two other juniors and managed to win her heat at 11 seconds. Her legs ached from her efforts but she didn't mind her physical discomfort. Her mind was reeling. She had a chance to win at State!

Spring in Montana can be challenging. The average temperature is usually in the 60's but today was chillier than normal with a high of 57 degrees. The sky was blue with very few clouds and the winds calm which was unusual in Montana.

Janie, that was a great race!, Linda squealed.

I think the cool weather helped, Jan smiled. Linda was her best friend forever. They had been inseparable since kindergarten and were so close that they could complete each other's sentences. Linda wasn't athletic like her friend. She liked to watch sports but didn't like to work out. She was the team recorder.

People who knew them often called them Mutt and Jeff with their remarkable contrast in appearance. Janie was tall and lithe, 5'7, with long wavy blond hair and blue eyes. Linda was short and stocky, 5'2 red haired, freckled and brown eyed.

Even though they had many casual friends, the two spent all of their spare time together. Linda was more outgoing than Janie. Since their freshman year both had volunteered to help with crafts at the local retirement home. They helped teach Sunday School at New Hope Assembly of God and in the summer helped at Glacier Bible camp for a couple of weeks in July.

Can you go for a milk shake with me at the soda fountain at Josh's drug store? Linda asked.

It sounds fun. It would be nice to see my bro but I need to get home. Mom hasn't been feeling well lately and she had a doctor's appointment today. I'm kinda worried about her.

Sure, maybe we can go after practice tomorrow. See ya Janie.

Janie walked into the kitchen to find her Mom sitting and staring into space and seemingly unaware of anything around her. What seemed particularly odd was that the dryer was beeping and water boiling on the stove and Mom didn't even seem to notice.

Mom, what's wrong?

Oh honey, I guess my mind is on other things. I'm sorry. Did you have a good day at school? Even though Janie tried to tell her about the upcoming weekend track meet, Janie knew her Mom wasn't really listening.

Did you go to the doctor today?

Janie, I guess I'm just tired. Can you please set the table. Supper is ready and your dad should be home soon.

Janie realized her mom hadn't answered her question but knew that it was best to do what she was told. Her mom would tell her when she was good and ready.

Over a wholesome supper of beef roast, potatoes and carrots, Janie's mom and dad didn't talk like usual but just sat slowly eating. Usually the evening meal was a time of laughter and catching up on the latest news but tonight her mom and dad were lost in their own thoughts. When she was little her big brothers kept the evening meal lively. Josh and Jacob loved to tease her and often joked with her at her expense. She remembered one time when they had put a garter snake on her chair. Her mom and dad didn't know what to think when Janie let out a blood curdling yell as the garter snake tried to slither down to the floor. Josh and Jake were laughing so hard that tears were streaming down their cheeks. Marilyn, Janie's mom, liked snakes as much as Janie and quickly ordered the boys to get that blasted snake out of the house.

Mom, I forgot to tell you. Josh called last night. He wants to take Mary to the movies tomorrow night. He wants me to babysit the twins. I hope that's okay.

"Oh, sure honey since tomorrow is Friday, that's fine. It's hard to believe that Dean and Dennis are going to be 3 in a few weeks. Did he mention a birthday party for them when you talked to him?

No, but I can ask him when I see him.

"Oh, I can talk to him too. I'm thinking of having everyone over for dinner after church on Sunday. We can discuss it then. Jake and Joyce are so busy with teaching during the week. I'm sure they'll be glad not to have to cook. I'm thinking of cooking up that turkey I got on sale a few weeks ago. What do you think about having company James?

I think that's a good idea. I can help with anything you need sweetheart.

Janie looked quickly at her dad. This was a surprise. She loved her dad dearly but he was not one to offer to help around the kitchen. He was a mechanic for one of the dealerships in town and loved working on anything mechanical but he was usually at a loss in the cooking department. Mom often teased him that he couldn't even boil water but he took the teasing in stride and would come back with a retort like But I can make a pretty mean piece of toast.

That night after Janie went to bed she heard her Mom sobbing and talking to her dad. She crept downstairs and knelt beside their bedroom door.

James, what are we to do? I can't believe that this is happening. I'm only 50---I can't have cancer. I have too much living to do. I want to see Janie graduate, get married and have kids. We have trips to go on. We have memories to make.

Janie could hear her mom's muffled cries. Her dad didn't say anything but she could hear him sobbing, like a young orphaned calf bleating in the night. His cries of despair were more than Janie could bear. In her whole life she remembered him crying only once - when his mother, Grandma Rose died. Janie was ten years old when her grandma passed away. This was the first death and funeral she had experienced. Even though everyone was sad she remembered her dad saying that he was glad that his mom was finally free from pain and at home with the Lord.

Janie's stomach was in a tight knot. She so badly wanted to run into her parents' bedroom, sit on mom's lap and be told that it was just a bad dream. Janie was angry at God. How could he allow this terrible thing to happen? Her mom was still so young. She had so much to live for.

She is supposed to be there for me when I graduate. I have always dreamed about mom helping me plan my wedding! This is just so unfair! I need her! Oh Lord I know I need to trust in you. You promised that all things work for good for those who love you. Please heal my mom and Lord please help me too.

Her feet were numb beneath her. She had been kneeling so long that her feet felt like needles were pricking them. She looked at her watch and was surprised to see that it was past midnight. While praying for her mom, she must have fallen asleep on the floor. She quietly got up and crept back to bed and fell into a troubled sleep.

CHAPTER 2

Friday morning Janie had a hard time waking up. Janie, you better hurry or you'll be late for school, her mom called up the stairs.

Janie groggily opened her eyes. "Was last night a nightmare? she wondered to herself. Looking at the alarm clock on her bedside stand, she hurriedly jumped up. Mom's right, I better get going.

Coming down for breakfast, Janie hesitated to look at her mom. She stealed a look at her mom while chomping down on a piece of toast. Scrutinizing her mom, she didn't think she looked any different. "Maybe it isn't so bad after all."

Mom, remember the track meet tonight after school. Are you going to be there?

Absolutely. In fact your dad's going to get off work early and make the meet too.

That's great. I thought he had to work but I'm glad you both will be there.

Glancing at her watch, she jumped up and headed for the back door.

See you later. Love ya.

The day seemed to drag. Janie was a good student and kept up on all her classes. Usually she enjoyed all of them, especially history and music, she was in both band and choir but today she had a hard time concentrating. Her mind kept going over and over what happened last night.

"Lord, please heal mom. She just has to be okay."

Linda met her for lunch and noticed Janie was lost in her thoughts. Janie, are you okay? Is something wrong?

Being raised in a Scandanavian home, Janie didn't easily open up and discuss what she was thinking or feeling but today quickly spurted, Please pray for my mom. I can't talk about it but she's sick.

I'll definitely pray for her. Let's pray now. Lord, you know our needs more than we do. You also know how loved Marilyn is by her family and everyone who knows her. Heal her body. Give her strength and help Janie and her family to seek your guidance. In your name."

"Thanks. I'm having a hard time understanding all this.

One day at a time. We'll get through this.

Raindrops were falling as the track team walked onto the track. Each girl walked to her designated event. The Harlowtown girls were already at their respective stations. They looked haughtily at their competitors. Janie was nervous. This was her first year on the team and she was easily intimidated by others. Some of the other girls seemed so much more confident and sure of their abilities. Coach Seagull was a good coach. He was middle aged and slightly overweight but he was a happy person who treated each athlete with respect and was quick to offer a word of encouragement.

Janie, you're up next. You better stretch a bit. You'll do just fine. Go get em.

Thanks coach, I'll try.

The gun blasted and all of the girls in her heat took off in unison. Janie was behind for a few seconds but quickly passed three girls with the lead a few feet ahead. Just as the finish line was within reach, Janie sprinted ahead. 10.9 seconds---she beat her practice best! She was barely aware of the roar in the stands. She furtively searched the faces in the stand, finally finding her family. Not only were her parents standing and clapping but Jake and Joyce were there along with Josh, Mary and the twins. Dean and Dennis were jumping up and down yelling Yea Auntie Janie!

Janie laughed heartedly. It felt so good to let go of her emotions and simply enjoy the moment. Little did she know that it would be a long time before she felt this happy again.

***

The twins were good while Mary and Josh had a night away. Janie loved her nephews and loved spending time with them but tonight she wished she could have stayed home. Even though her parents had not talked to her about her mom's illness, their worried looks were unsettling and Janie felt she needed to be home with them. Dean and Dennis were happy boys and played well together. They loved anything with wheels and were both playing contentedly with a train set when she arrived.

They've already had their baths and should be ready for bed by 8:00, Mary smiled at Janie. Thanks so much for babysitting. I can't even remember the last time Josh and I had a night out.

I'm glad to do it Mary. Thanks for coming to my track meet too.

After her brother and his wife left, Janie thought to herself, "I wonder why I didn't mention Mom. It's hard to think about mom being sick let alone talk about it."

***

Church service began promptly at10:00 with praise and worship. Janie sometimes sang with the worship team but she was glad that she had not volunteered to sing this morning. She was definitely not in a praise filled mood.

Janie's mom had gotten up early to start the turkey and make up the side dishes. Marilyn loved having company and entertaining was one of her gifts. She also loved antiques and their home was full of treasures she had found at second hand stores. Another love was refinishing furniture and each room in the house showed evidence of Marilyn's special talents. She loved being a homemaker and loved to decorate for each season. In the fall, their home was resplendent with floral decorations of mums, sunflowers and hydrangea. A couple of their neighbors teased Marilyn that she went a little overboard at Christmas with two Christmas trees and more lights on their home than it the whole neighborhood combined. Marilyn would laugh good naturedly and made sure everyone she knew was invited to their annual Christmas open house the Sunday before Christmas.

Coming down the stairs Janie realized that her mom had not decorated for spring like she usually did. In fact thinking back over the last few weeks she remembered that Easter had come and gone without an Easter Lily on their dining room table or colored Easter eggs made for the family.

"I've been so busy with track and all that I didn't even think about the lack of decorations around here." Looking out at the flower beds, Janie noticed with a start the number of weeds that were overtaking the gardens. "Mom must not have been feeling well for awhile.".

Pastor Swenson had been the preacher of Janie's church since before Janie was born. Even as a child Janie remembered him as being old. Sitting on the church pew between her mom and dad she realized that he was just the kind of person that looked older in their late forties but then never really changed after that. He was round shouldered and small framed with balding hair. He wore frameless glasses and always seemed to have a worried expression on his face, even when you knew he was happy. His wife on the other hand was round and jovial. She laughed easily and often and Janie remembered many happy memories of Mrs. Swenson teaching her Sunday School class. In fact, it was because of her that she and Linda starting helping teach the first and second graders when she was a sophomore.

Today's sermon was based on the book of Ephesians. Sittings in the church pew, Janie had a hard time not breaking down and bawling. The pastor said that Jesus could do exceedingly abundantly what we asked or even thought. All she wanted was for her mom to be healed.

As Janie sat in the back seat while her dad drove her mom and her home after church, she thought to herself "Lord, my wanting mom to be healed has to be your desire. Help me to let go and let you be the center of my life."

CHAPTER 3

Summer went by quickly. Janie kept busy with lifeguarding and she and Linda got to spend a week in July as camp counselors at Glacier Bible Camp. Glacier Bible Camp is located in Hungry Horse, Montana only 8 miles from West Glacier National Park. She loved it up there. Even in July the mornings were cool and the air was clean and fresh. She had been going to youth camp since she was eight years old and looked forward to seeing friends that she only got to see once a year. She loved learning about the bible and spending time alone with God.

In addition to her week at youth camp, her family also spent a week at family camp, which usually was the third week in July. But this year her mom didn't feel well enough to go. Josh couldn't take time off from the pharmacy at Seiden Drug Company, since there were only two pharmacists and the owner was taking a couple of weeks off in July. Jake and Joyce were spending the month of July painting the outside of their home. They had bought it last August just before school started and hadn't had time to paint it. Being teachers they had to get as much done in the summer as they could.

Janie was overwhelmed. Everything seemed so mixed up with their family going in different directions and her mom not feeling well. This year was her senior year and she should be so happy and excited but all she could feel was sad.

***

On the first day of school, Linda came by to pick Janie up.

Janie, Linda's here. Are you ready?

Yea Mom, tell her I'll be right down. Janie hurriedly grabbed her back pack as she ran down the stairs. She was dressed in a rust colored corduroy jumper with matching knee high socks and a cream colored turtleneck. She loved the penny loafers her mom let her buy when they and Linda went shopping in Great Falls the first week of August.

That had been such a special time. Her mom felt good that day. Sitting at Woolworth's eating hamburgers and chocolate shakes they talked about old times.

It was wonderful to see her mom so alive and eager to reminisce over what the three of them shared. Marilyn laughed as she reminisced over Janie's birthday parties. Mom loved to plan parties and each year had a different theme depending upon Janie's interests. One year it was a Mickey Mouse party and another year a princess party. Janie even had a Bert and Ernie party one year. Since Janie's birthday was in July the main activity usually centered around the Lewistown swimming pool with all of her friends coming over for cake and ice cream after an hour of playing in the pool.

Janie remembered her favorite birthday party. She was five years old and her mom and dad bought her a black cocker spaniel. She named him Blackie. Mom had laughed at how hard it had been to keep Blackie quiet while the presents were unwrapped. Mom loved Blackie as much as Janie did. When Janie was in school Blackie followed her mom around the house and loved to sleep by her mom's chair when she sat knitting in the evenings.

Linda remembered how Blackie would sleep between the two of them when she slept over. He would steal the blankets and snuggle. Blackie was eight years old when he died. Janie was 13 years old that summer, going into eighth grade. Janie, Linda and Marilyn remembered how terrible that day was. The Knudsen family was moving in down the street and the big Allied moving van was backing up into their driveway. Blackie ran out into the street so fast, Janie couldn't stop him and he ran right under the back wheels of the van. The Knudsens felt as bad as Janie and her family.

Oops, I better get downstairs before Linda comes up and wrings my neck!

***

It was nice being a senior but Janie didn't have the heart to fully experience all that being an upperclassman offered. She had no desire to take part in extracurricular activities. In her junior year Janie auditioned for and got the part of Daisy in her high school production of Little Abner. All her friends told her she was a natural and she even considered trying out for theatre when she went to college. She also went to state for both band and choir. She played the clarinet and loved to sing on the worship team at church whenever they needed here.

But this year all she wanted to do was run home after school and make sure her mom was okay. Usually she found her mom lying on the sofa covered with her favorite afghan and sleeping soundly. Even though her mom didn't have the energy to keep up with meal preparation she continued to plan meals for Janie and her dad. Janie was getting to be a pretty good cook. Her specialty was meat loaf, baked potatoes and corn. Her mom made an effort to sit at the table with her family but often only swallowed a couple of bites while moving the food around on the plate so as not to make it obvious what little appetite she had.

Janie was worried about how much weight her mom was losing. Marilyn was Janie's height at 5'8" and usually weighed around 150 pounds. She had always been a striking woman--full figured and tall with short black hair that was quickly turning gray, blue eyes the color of the sky and a smile that never quit. She always used to say how she needed to lose a few pounds but she loved to cook for her family and friends and loved to eat the results of her culinary expertise. Now Janie thought her mom probably only weighed 120, if that. She was skin and bones.

The sicker Janie's mom got, the more her dad spent at the shop. It was hard for him to see his wife suffer. Dad loved his family but everything centered around mom. What mom said usually was the way it was and dad just went along. Janie knew her dad loved her but he wasn't involved in her life. Janie's dad was happiest working on vehicles or hunting.

Holidays were usually festive times but this year they were just a day to get through. Mary hosted Thanksgiving. Josh and Mary had been married for five years. They met in college and although Mary had a degree in teaching home economics she was happy staying at home with the twins. Mom had hosted every holiday even after Josh and Jake were married but this year she didn't have energy to spare. Mary oudid herself. The meal was delicious. Joyce had tried her hand at the pumpkin pies and although the crusts were not as flaky as Marilyn's they still were mighty tasty.

Janie offered to make a bean casserole. She was going to use more cream of mushroom soup and less beans which would have resulted in a mushroom soup dish with green beans. Thankfully Mom corrected her before the fiasco was made. Everyone had a laugh at Janie's expense but Janie didn't care because it was so nice to see everyone laughing and enjoying the moment.

CHAPTER 4

The second Saturday in December, Janie was busy helping sell refreshments at the home town basketball game to earn money for the Senior end-of-year party. As she put cheese on some nachos, Amy, another senior, nudged her by accident and the next thing Janie knew she had a big yellow stain on the front of her favorite pink sweatshirt. The cheese spread like a volcano spreading ash over the countryside covering much of the front of her sweatshirt. She tried to remove the stain with a washcloth but it only made it spread more. For the rest of the game, Janie put an apron on to cover the stain.

As Janie was cleaning up the refreshment stand, a husky voice from behind asked Are you still open? I'm starving, any food left!

Janie turned to find that the voice was Gary Trent, one of the starting forwards for Fergus High. Janie was just getting ready to throw away the leftovers and there was one hotdog left. She placed the hotdog in a bun and wrapper and handed it over to Gary.

"How much?" he asked. Janie

Since I was going to throw it away anyway, I guess I won't charge you.

Gary laughed and told her he appreciated her generosity.

Any time.

As she turned to finish cleaning up, Gary asked Would you mind if I walk you home?

Janie was surprised since she didn't think Gary even noticed she was alive. Tall, dark and handsome, Gary was always one of the in kids even in elementary school. His quick jokes were appreciated by fellow classmates and even the teachers laughed at his antics. Jake often said that Gary could talk his way out of a brown paper bag.

He never acknowledged that she even existed as far as she could remember. She was surprised and felt a little embarrassed yet excited. Feeling her cheeks getting hot she hoped that it didn't show.

The last she heard Gary was dating Barbie, one of the senior cheerleaders. If it had been a year ago, Janie would have bantered back with a joke or some funny expression about chaperoning the kitchen crew home, but tonight Janie didn't have it in her to make an effort at levity.

I really don't know how long I will be here cleaning up and I don't want to keep you waiting.

"I can help clean up." Gary gulped down his hot dog and was emptying the trash before Janie could think of another reason to put him off.

On the walk home Gary stated I've been trying to figure a way to talk to you but you never hang out after school. You always seem, I don't know, kind of distracted.

Janie didn't know what to say. She had no idea that Gary was even interested in her and she really didn't want to talk about her mom. As they walked out of the school, Gary grabbed her hand. It had been so long since anyone had touched her.

Gary's attentiveness seemed so sincere that Janie felt comfortable in telling him about her mom's illness.

My mom's been sick lately. I'm worried about her, I guess.

Gary nodded but didn't reply. It was a clear, cold evening. The stars overhead seemed to be looking down at them and the air was calm, which was rare in Montana. As Gary opened the gate to the white picket fence in front of Janie's home, he passed his hand across her shoulder. Janie shivered with excitement and tried not to show how this simple act affected her. As they walked up to her home, the yellow stain on her sweatshirt glowed in the dark.

I've never seen a design like that, Gary said as he pointed at her sweatshirt.

Janie laughed. Her laughter seemed to reduce the tension that both Gary and Janie felt. Gary held Janie's hand for a few moments. The seconds seemed like hours and Janie didn't want it to end. She finally realized that she was breathing hard and that it was time to open the front door.

Do you mind if I call you tomorrow?

Janie responded quickly without thinking, Yes, I mean no I wouldn't mind at all. As he turned to leave, Janie smiled and thought what a handsome, kind guy he was.

CHAPTER 5

Christmas was at Joyce and Jake's house. Since they were off for Christmas vacation they both were excited to host the festivities. Joyce had been so busy for weeks prior to Christmas vacation helping her second graders learn their songs for the Christmas program. As a high school math teacher, Jake was spared this challenge but was busy as assistant coach for the boy's basketball team. Fergus High was having a good year and there was a good chance the boys would be going to state.

Gary Trent sure has been a Godsend for the team. He's averaging 12 points a game. What with his great football season and now basketball I'm sure he'll get an athletic scholarship next year, Josh remarked.

Janie's cheeks burned and she hope no one noticed. Gary hadn't talked to her since that night a couple of weeks ago but he always smiled at her when their paths crossed in the school hallways. If anyone noticed Janie's discomfort, they didn't say anything. Janie was relieved.

***

January was cold and dreary. Lewistown got around 12 inches of snow that month. On Tuesday, January 20th, Janie came home from school to find her mom unconscious. She called her dad who told her to call the ambulance and he would meet them at the hospital. Her fingers were shaking so badly it was hard to dial 911 but thankfully within minutes the ambulance arrived with two EMTs coming through the door with a stretcher. They put an oxygen mask over her mom's nose and quickly carried her to the waiting vehicle. Janie had passed her driver's test the previous summer and could have followed behind but she was so nervous she didn't think she could keep her hands on the wheel. Thankfully the EMTs noticed her nervousness and told her she accompany her mom. She had already called her brothers and they were headed to the hospital.

The next few days were like a