The Horse Dreamer

By JD Helfert

This is the 1st chapter (and a bonus of chapter 2 part 1) of The Horse Dreamer.
Any little girl can tell you that to have a horse would be a dream... a dream come true. But what happens to a girl, born into a life of hell, who lives for an empty promise? How long can she hold onto her dreams?
A dream sets Jessy Falcon in motion for answers to a haunting past. She struggles to find the little girl that she was; as mysteries forces guide her to a forgotten dream; the horse her father promised her...and what it all means.

• Language: English
• Publisher: JD Helfert
• Release date: May 4, 2016
• ISBN: 9781310246401

JD Helfert

J.D. Helfert was born and has survived J.D. spends time writing and thinking. Poetry is one of the first mediums in which J.D. expressed a love of the written word. J.D. is currently working on a new Novel (date to be announced.) Author of short stories (The Lion) and poetry (I Am ) J.D. Helfert's Work has been included in: Latitude on 2nd: 2012 Spring Poetry Anthology J. D. Helfert can be contacted at; [e-mail]

Book preview

The Horse Dreamer

A Novel

JD Helfert

Disclaimer

All the material contained in this book is provided for entertainment purposes only. This is a work of fiction. No responsibility can be taken for any results or outcomes resulting from the use of this material. The author does not assume any responsibility for the accuracy or use/misuse of this a fictitious story

J.D. Helfert Copyright © 2016 All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning, or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the publisher.,License Notes This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only.

Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

Table of Contents

Chapter 1: The Beginning of the End

Chapter 2: The Tortured Horse

The Horse Dreamer

A Novel By JD Helfert

Alone.

I sat, rocking.

A child I was.

Under the bar where he sits, and drinks in my memory,

My father keeps mercury in a jar.

Told not to play with the poison in the bottle.

Alone.

I sit, rocking the jar.

Back and forth,

In anticipation of this- separation of self.

Spellbound,

by the fact, the mercury stays whole;

It glistens and shines, softly begging to be touched.

Alone.

I spy, for a witness to the deed,

As I open the jar-

to let the poison breathe.

Disturbed by the lore of things forbidden,

Violently, I shake the bottle.

So taken,

am I,

by the nature of the things.

Chapter 1

The Beginning of the End

When I am awake I am sleeping

While I sleep I am dreaming I am alive…

Oct- 3AM (can’t sleep cold outside)

Dear Emma,

That night we returned from grandma’s still haunts me.

I must purge myself of it in hopes to be set free regardless of the consequences…

There are places in the world that hold on to the people in them. Whatever weakness lies within is nurtured in these places, and all humanity is lost. It seemed like such a simple, innocent thing to do, going to visit my grandma.

But in my world, there is no joy without pain.

For a few hours of freedom, there would be a high price to pay, for nothing in life is truly free.

I can hardly speak of it now, as the chill climbs up my spine like a parasite, slowly taking the very life that it clings to.

An inexorable fear still grips me.

They would not approve, my parents. For family secrets are to be buried deep inside, to reveal them is to betray the blood that runs through the family vein.

Going to my grandmother’s house I can still remember seeing the joy, in the eyes of the small plump woman, I called grandma. I delighted in her crooked smile of pleasure when she laid eyes on my sister and I. I felt her love and for a moment, I was happy which was rare in the reality that was my life.

We were her only grandchildren and were always greeted with a hug and a kiss, followed by candies grandma dug out of her pocketbook that, I was sure, if I were to get too close to, I would fall into and disappear forever.

My mother had won at bingo that day. We celebrated at the Chinese restaurant. A full belly and grandma’s laughter still ringing in my ears, I could almost forget the place I called home.

It was night when we returned.

He was alone in the kitchen; my father sat in the dark.

The faint glow of his cigarette as he took a drag gave his presence away, stopping us dead in our tracks.

The details that followed are a blur of fear that seem to last forever.

My sister and I backed up against the wall as my father dragged my mother by her hair down to the cellar stairs, locking the door behind him.

It felt as if the door itself was set on fire and we stood as close to it as we could, trying not to go up in flames of terror.

My sister cried uncontrollably, shouting at the door to stop. I tried to imagine that I was invisible and thought if I stood, as still as I could and not breathe, it would stop.

But the screams from my mother were unbearable as were the sounds of a saw.

It did not stop. It was just the beginning.

The beginning of the end of all of us.

***

The room smelled of beer and stale cigarettes.

John Falcon sat at the small table, across from Jessy and took a long drag from his cigarette, as he watched his daughter squirm in her seat.

Jessy, he said as she was rubbing her eyes. Eat before it gets cold.

It was 3AM,