The Bad Boy I Love

1

He was giving her Henny dick. How did I know? Because every time Trent gave it to me, he wouldn’t be able to make it to his room before he started to undress and claw at my clothes. The scene before me was no different.

As I walked down his hall, I took note of the scattered pieces of clothing. Some were his. Some were hers. All were off.

He’d gotten him a bougie bitch this time. Every piece of her clothing had a label on it. Even the heels she’d kicked off at his bedroom door were Christian Louboutin. I couldn’t help but chuckle as I picked them up and looked at the size. Ironically, they were my size, so I put them into my oversized bag before peeking in to see who she was.

Trent was giving it to her from behind, so I couldn’t see her face, but I could tell by the shade of her skin, the ruffled dirty brown hair his hand gripped, and the muffled sound of her moans fading in with the music that it was Alicia – the woman Trent swore was nothing but a client.

This was the third time he’d cheated on me in our relationship that I knew of, so I couldn’t necessarily say that I was angry. I guess I was angry, but not because of the cheating itself. I was angry because I’d repeatedly left his no good ass, and every time he came back begging and pleading as if he couldn’t live without me.

The fucked up part about it was, I couldn’t even be mad at Trent. It was my dumb ass decision to take him back. For some reason, I thought straight laced men did right by women, but they were just as disloyal and uncaring as the most coldhearted street niggas I vowed to stay away from.

Trent was so deep in her pussy and the sound of the music that he didn’t hear me chuckling, and we were so disconnected as a couple that he couldn’t even feel my presence as I stood there watching them. When he began to moan and compliment Alicia on how good her pussy was, I backed out of the room, headed down the hall, and made my way to the kitchen. I started to trash his beloved home, but I wanted to create lasting damage. The kind of damage that would make him think twice about cheating on another woman again.

My eyes roamed the immaculately clean kitchen, the kitchen I’d cleaned before leaving this morning, and I started to get angry all over again. Huffing under my breath, I snatched the biggest pot I could find in the cabinet next to the stove. I didn’t want to risk them hearing the water cut on, so I emptied a few bottles of water until the pot was halfway full. After grabbing a few packages of grits from the box in Trent’s pantry, I added them to the water and let them cook for a few minutes.

When I was sure they were hot enough to have the desired effect, I took the pot off the stove and quietly made my way back to Trent’s bedroom. He was still giving it to her from the back, harder and faster now. So hard and fast she was alternating between yelping and grunting, and another chuckle escaped me. Trent swore he was a beast when he was gone off the Henny, but all he’d do was fuck you so hard you’d be dry, turned off, and burning when you peed. That was one thing I most definitely wouldn’t miss now that we were a few seconds away from being over.

I looked down at the pot of still bubbling grits briefly before tossing them onto Trent’s back. He grabbed at it, arching it as he fell into Alicia and cried out in agony. Alicia’s eyes widened as they locked with mine. She slid up the bed, resting her back on the headboard as Trent continued to groan and swipe the grits from his skin.

Waiting for her to make a move, I crossed my arms over my chest and leaned against the dresser. There was only one way out of the room, and she was not getting out the door without getting that ass whooped. Okay. I know, I know, my issue should be with Trent for cheating, but Alicia knew good and damn well he was in a relationship. As far as I’m concerned, I owed her an ass whopping just as much as I owed him one. Now I wouldn’t be foolish enough to think I could fight Trent, so I would have to take the bulk of my frustration out on her physically. I would, however, fuck Trent’s car up before leaving, though.

My patience was starting to thin out as I waited for her, and the sight of Trent rolling around on the bed like a fish out of water no longer amused me, so I walked over to the bed and tried to pull Alicia out of it by her hair, but she grabbed Trent’s arm and held on for dear life.

Let her go, Fefe. This is between me and you.

Nah. My head shook as I yanked her hair and tried to pull her out of the bed again. This is between me and her since she let you between her legs. Let’er go, Trent.

Fiona, please. Alicia clawed at my wrist with her bright red stiletto nails. He told me it was over with you. That’s the only reason I went out for drinks with him.

I’m not sure if it was the tremble in her voice or the fear in her eyes but something made me feel sorry for her. It wasn’t her fault she got caught up with a man who felt as if his money entitled him to every woman he saw and was attracted to, whether he was in a committed relationship or not. I released her, forcing myself not to spit on Trent as I stepped away from the bed. Not giving her a chance to try and sneak me, I kept my face and eyes on them as I walked backward, daring her to try me.

All she did was hop out of the bed on the opposite side, wrapping the comforter around her naked body.

Fiona, let me explain, Trent pleaded, leaping out of the bed, covering his now limp dick.

There’s nothing to explain. He took a step toward me but stopped when I held my hand up. If you know what is best for you, you wouldn’t come anywhere near me right now, Trent.

I watched Alicia scurry out of the room out of the corner of my eye. Trent was still grabbing at his back and grimacing as he tried to take another step toward me. The pain he felt in no way could compare to the pain that was seeping through my heart in pieces just as small as those grits. But it wasn’t even pain over his cheating. It was pain that I caused and sustained every time I chose the wrong man.

I was beginning to think my heart was better off in someone else’s care. Everyone I chose for her didn’t seem to value her at all. Made me wonder if I respected her and loved her myself. How could I if I kept putting her through this shit?

I need you to call for an ambulance, Fiona. When I get back home, we can talk.

Now that got a good laugh out of me. A good, bent over, eyes watering, coughing because your throat hurts laugh. Him staring at me with his face covered with confusion only made me laugh harder. When I finally composed myself, I wiped my eyes as I walked out of his room.

Dude, I ain’t got shit to say to you besides I need the keys to my apartment and my car. Not expecting him to argue with me, I walked over to the dresser to retrieve my keys from his key ring. I wouldn’t be able to do what I wanted to his car since he was going to call 911 like a little punk. That was cool, I’d come back in a few hours and take care of it.

Fiona, listen to me, I don’t want to lose you. Ignoring him, I removed my keys from his ring and took his keys off my chain. Fiona. It was just sex, baby. She meant nothing to me. Ignoring him, I went into his bathroom to grab my makeup case, flat iron, and burgundy wig.

The clothes I had over I could do without, but I couldn’t stand the thought of leaving my makeup behind. I had enough at my place to be straight, but I loved makeup too much to leave it in his care. And that flat iron costed too damn much to be leaving it behind just because I wanted to make a quick exit.

The longer I lingered the sicker to my stomach I felt. Just the thought of him having sex with someone else had me wanting to throw up and empty my stomach of the pasta I’d consumed minutes earlier.

Fefe…

Don’t. I paused, giving myself time to take in a deep breath to calm down. You don’t get to call me that anymore.

Baby, I’m sor–

No! Me slamming my palm flat against his dresser silenced him. You don’t get to apologize like that changes anything! Spit was flying all out of my mouth, but I didn’t care at this point. I was sick of niggas fucking up and thinking an apology could fix the situation. That doesn’t change anything, Trent. My tone lowered as I chuckled quietly and shook my head. I take that back; it changes me. It makes me trust and want love even less.

Throwing all caution to the wind, Trent walked over to me and tried to take me into his arms, but I pushed him away.

Don’t say that, baby. Please don’t give up on me or love.

My jaw began to clench as my eyes watered. This wasn’t supposed to happen. You weren’t supposed to shed tears over a buster who didn’t value you enough to do right by you. Growing frustrated with myself, I jerked away from Trent during his second attempt at securing me and rushed out of his room. As hard as I tried to act, and as much as I didn’t want him to see my tears fall, the weight of what he’d done with Alicia was starting to get to me. It was starting to make my heart hurt.

Ache.

Twist.

I clutched at it as I raced down the hall, needing to get away from between the walls that were starting to feel as if they were closing in on me.

When I made it to my car, my tears began to fall freely. I wanted to give myself time to calm down before leaving, but the sight of Trent shuffling out of the door as he stepped into a pair of basketball shorts had me putting my car in reverse and swerving out of his driveway. At the end of the street, I put my car in park and gave myself time to decompress. My phone started to vibrate in the cup holder, and I started not to answer thinking it was Trent, but something inside of me told me to answer.

Wiping my face, I grabbed my phone, staring at the unknown number as if that would help me figure out who it was. The call ended up going to voicemail, but they called right back. Had it not been a 901 area code, I wouldn’t have answered, but since Memphis was home I took the call.

Yea? I almost whispered, pulling in a deep, shaky breath.

Why the fuck it sound like you crying?

Jesus.

If my heart could have turned into liquid and seeped through my rib cage, slid through my stomach, and creamed at the entrance of my pussy… it would have. That was the effect the sound of Chaos’ voice always had on me. It didn’t matter if a year had passed since I’d last heard it… I would never forget his voice.

What do you want, Chaos?

My words may have come off blunt and as if I had an attitude, but I was sure he heard the smile in my voice, just as easily as he’d heard the tears there seconds earlier. No one else may have been able to read me so easily and quickly, but Christian Chaos Lewis always could.

Misery out. He wants you back home.

Damn. I’d gotten so caught up in my own personal life that I hadn’t even realized it was time for Misery to get out. That made my whole night. That made my little issue with Trent seem nonexistent. My cousin, my brother, my baby was finally free again.

Give me a couple of days, and I’ll be on my way.

I got you a plane ticket already. It leaves at midnight. Come home, Fe.

Placing my head on the headrest, I closed my eyes and thought over his request. Well demand. This was the perfect opportunity for me to leave Atlanta and start fresh in my hometown, but Memphis had way too many bad memories and experiences for me.

True enough, I’d been gone for close to ten years, but that just didn’t seem like enough time. Not enough to bury the pain of my past. Still, Misery and Chaos had done so much for me. The least I could do was go and see my babies.