Lunch Date With Jesus: Getting Personal With Jesus in Fellowship, Partnership and Intimacy

By Jessica Mae Obioha

About This Book

Look! I stand at the door and knock. If you hear my voice and open the door, I will come in, and we will share a meal together as friends. - Revelations 3:20

God, where have You been all my life? I asked with joyful tears rolling down my eyes. His response me

• Language: English
• Publisher: Jessica Mae Obioha
• Release date: May 11, 2021
• ISBN: 9781800497429

Book preview

Introduction

Knock Knock: Who’s There? - Dear Jesus

Look! I stand at the door and knock. If you hear my voice and open the door, I will come in, and we will share a meal together as friends.

- Revelations 3:20

God, where have You been all my life? I asked with joyful tears rolling down my eyes. His response melted my heart even more, He said, I never left. My time away with Jesus in Cyprus 2018 unveiled a truth hidden on the inside of me by years of hurt, abuse, insecurity, lies, and lack of identity. The truth that God loves me more than I can ever imagine; that He never left me; that He desires to have a relationship with me more than I can ever desire Him is too great for my heart to comprehend. I found my true love. I was undone.

All these years, I thought I knew Jesus, but my brokenness exposed a massive void in me that no human being could fill. I thought I knew who I was, yet, I was broken, lost, insecure, felt unloved, and frankly thought my life had no meaning; I merely existed. All these years I had settled for less simply because I did not really know that I was the daughter of the King of kings, the Bride of Christ, precious in His sight, the apple of His eyes, His masterpiece. I had the unconditional love of God with me all along and I never knew it.

Dear Jesus,…thank You for taking me away from the noise and opening the eyes of my heart to see Your glory in its fullness and to receive Your unconditional love.

My trip to Cyprus was phenomenal. On my journey to self-discovery, I found myself in Him, Jesus! God opened my eyes and gave me a new perspective of Him that I had never seen or thought about. He revealed things about me that I didn’t know I enjoyed doing; He knew me more than I knew myself. He also revealed things in me, that weren’t pleasing to Him, and through renewing my mind in His word, He cleansed me by His grace. I began to understand how He speaks to me, what His still voice, the gentle whisper of the Holy Spirit sounded like. I began to discern His joyful presence that always leaves me undone. Every day, I longed to sit with Him to gaze upon His beauty and awesomeness, and I looked forward to studying His word, it was food to my soul, sweeter than honey indeed. I would always ask Him, Father, what do You want to teach me today? Spending time in His word was mind-blowing as the Holy Spirit reveals more about Jesus and my identity in Him. I was enjoying this newfound relationship with Jesus Christ through the Holy Spirit so much so that I prayed for it never to end. It was Heaven on earth!

Prior to 2018, my life was not what I dreamt as a little girl that it would be. I was a shell of myself; broken, lost, sexually abused as a child and as a teenager, broken family, insecurity, failed marriage, etc. All these happened before I was 29 years old. The lists of what I took on as my identity were many. Until one day, I had enough, a lightbulb sprung in my heart and I wrote the following:

Dear God, in the quest of drawing near to You so that You will draw near to me (as You have said in Your word, James 4:8), I have decided to shut the world out every Wednesday and just focus solely on You…I seek Your face, I want more of You Jesus. You are my strength and my one true love.

The above was my love letter to Jesus from my heart to His on the 8th of February 2017. Life had been a painful rollercoaster, and just at the brink of breaking, I had two choices to make, it is either I run to Jesus so He can fix my brokenness, or I end it. I chose life. I wrote this letter to Jesus telling Him about my intention to start over with Him and get to know Him better because I realised that He is the only one who can fill the void of many years of emptiness and pain that I felt.

The more I know Him, the more I want to know Him

I continued in the same letter of the 8th of February to Jesus and wrote:

"I started my fast from midnight (this is new to me). At first, I was worried I may not stick to it, but I reminded myself of Your word that says, ‘I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.’¹ I woke up at 6:30 am today to start my prayer. I got my son Jason to kneel with me and pray. He loved it and he also said the Our Father prayer with me. I am sure You saw it Lord.

I got my son ready, took him to school, after which I left for work. I got to the train station to catch my train and then realised that I forgot my phone and my make-up at home. I was a bit worried as I have always taken my phone with me wherever I go...I also intended to listen to gospel music while working just to keep my focus on You and less focused on the hunger (laughs). This worried me and I thought to myself, can I really do this? Again, You reminded me that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. You reminded me that those things are a distraction, and I suddenly had a feeling that it could be a good thing that I left my phone. For my makeup, if I had it with me, I would have been busy touching up my face on the train and not have enough time for Your word. I soon realise that the Holy Spirit did me a favour by not reminding me as I left the house that I had left my phone and makeup.

As a result, I was able to focus and read Your word as I travelled to work. At work during my lunch break, instead of eating, I used that time to study Your word, pray and read Christian inspirational an book. Thank You for Your grace upon my life. Turned out great."

I swopped my Lunch break for the word every Wednesday, hence the name #LunchDateWithJesus." Initially, I had called it #FastWednesday but the experience I felt that day was like I was on a date with my true love, it was a sweet encounter. As a result, I continued this #LunchDateWithJesus every Wednesday and my relationship with Jesus began to grow. I noticed the tangible change in me, and my hunger for more of God deepened. The more I know Him, the more I want to know Him. The more He reveals Himself to me, the more there is to see. There is no end to the sweetness of truly knowing Jesus intimately. The One who gave up His life for me so that I can be reconciled with The Father and be free so that I can walk in my purpose to which God has created me for, communion (Greek for Koinonia) with Him.

Who Is This Book For?

I wrote this book to inspire the girl reading it right now; yes, for you! This book is for the girl who at heart is on the journey of self-discovery; to discover her identity in God, her purpose in life, and become the woman that God has made her to be. She is ready to move forward and overcome the hurt, betrayal, pain, abuse, and brokenness of the past. She hears Jesus knocking at the door of her heart, and she is ready to let Him in, go deep in love with God, and become whom He has called her to be for the Kingdom business.

Are you that girl? Does any one of the above resonate with you? Jesus has been patiently knocking at the door of your heart, will you let Him in?

The Purpose of This Book

The purpose of this book is to stir up a deep hunger in you to get personal with Jesus Christ; to grow and develop your relationship with Him in fellowship, partnership, and intimacy through the Holy Spirit, so that you can embrace your identity in Him, walk in your purpose, and experience heaven on earth.

Now, let’s get into the real meat of this book. In this book, you will understand and have practical knowledge of what a relationship with Jesus looks like. I trust God that this book will inspire a hunger, a fire, and a desire in you to deepen your relationship with Jesus Christ through the help of the Holy Spirit. However, before you get deep into reading this book, I want you to first open your heart to God, surrender to Him and ask the Holy Spirit to speak to you and ignite a fire and hunger on the inside of you.

Chapter 1

Do I Really Know Him?

How did I get here? Lost in wilderness; walking through the valley of the shadow of death, round and round in circle I go, with no end in sight.

Jessica Mae Obioha

How did I get here? Lost in wilderness; walking through the valley of the shadow of death, round and round in circle I go, with no end in sight. This was an extract of a song that I wrote during what I termed as my wilderness season. The year 2016-2018 marked the beginning of something deep, yet, great in my life. These were the year of my breaking and making. I was gracefully broken so that the Potter's Hand (God) can remould me into whom He had called me to be. I went through a very traumatic season of my life in 2016 where I realised that the only One who can truly and will bring me out of this wilderness is the One who already died to give me salvation, JESUS CHRIST.  So, I went on a quest to get to know Him more and have a deeper relationship with Him. Sis, follow me on the journey in this chapter and be inspired by my story of how the grace of God turned my mess into a message and transformed my brokenness into breakthrough for a deeper intimacy with Him.

I knew of Jesus, but I did not really know Him

Before 2016, I was a hot mess; broken, in need of validation, in need of love, in need of security, stability, and in need of a family. I had no clear direction of my purpose, let alone my identity. I knew of Jesus, but I did not really know Him. I was brought up in a Catholic home, which I believe kept me grounded in the fear of God, however, I had always seen God as someone who is in Heaven, far away from the Earth. I did not know that there was such a thing as a relationship with God or even what it looked like.

How it Started

In context, my upbringing was not really something to write home about. I was sexually abused around the age of 5 years old by a family member; as a child, I didn’t really know it was abuse until I grew to know my rights and wrongs. I met my mum for the first time at the age of 12 and met my dad for the first time at the age of 15. I know, you’re probably thinking "What! How come!? Well, my dad left Nigeria for the UK when I was 2 years old, and my mum joined him a year later, and so I grew up with grandparents and other relatives. It wasn’t just me, my brother and I, (who is a year older than me) grew up with relatives, moved from house to house quite a lot, didn’t really have stable friends, and I didn’t really know and enjoy the ‘family’ kind of love, the love of a parent. Regarding consistency, I can honestly say that I have been to about 12 different schools by the age of 15.

In the year 2003, after coming to the UK with my brother to join my mum and younger sisters, my relationship with my mum became rocky. Months after coming to the UK, I was sexually abused again by a family member, but this time, I was 15 years old. I was alone, lost, confused, and didn’t know I could talk to God about it. Who would believe me? I felt like a nobody, I was new to the country and had no friends. Amid a broken relationship with my mum, I ran away from home and ran to my dad who I had just met for the first time since age 2. With my brokenness, I didn’t get on with my dad, and eventually left his home to stay with aunties, and after a while, with friends.

I was living a life with no accountability, just doing whatever I wanted, going from relationship to relationship, hoping that it would fill the void that I felt on the inside, but ultimately, they all led to heartbreaks, leaving me even more broken. I would go to church but would not really take anything concrete away that is applicable to my life. Meaning, I did not know how to apply the word of God in my life. I didn’t understand it. I did not have a relationship with God, I didn’t know the word of God, and I didn’t know who I was in Christ. I felt suicidal at times and couldn’t really see the point to life.

In my broken state, and in my quest to find love and security, I met someone who I thought was the one for me. We got into a relationship, I became pregnant outside of marriage and had our beautiful son, I was 21 and still at university studying Law. I became the talk of town, the ridiculed one, the one who was used as an example in conversations to deter their children from turning out like me. In fact, I was written off by people I trusted.

God, where are You?

Years later, I married the father of my son traditionally, however deep down I knew he wasn’t the one. The relationship was very rocky even before it led to marriage. Eventually, in 2016, he had an affair and got someone pregnant. At this point, I was numb with pain, I was very broken, I thought my life was over. I really felt cheated with life. Even after trying to make the marriage work, the affair continued and at this point, I had enough, I was done with life and everything. God, where are You? This was my silent heart cry. He (my son’s dad) eventually left home early 2017 and moved in with the lady. And, so it began, my wilderness season.

My Wilderness Season

I would define a wilderness season as anything that represents bondage, pain, breaking, valley, abuse, confusion, lack of identity, loneliness, anxiety, heartbreak, etc which is between you and your promised land (See the book of Exodus and Numbers in the bible).

One day in December 2016 (the year I found out about my ex-husband’s infidelity), I felt so heavy in my heart that I had the weight of the world on my shoulder and I couldn’t shake the feeling, I immediately went into my room to let it out, but this time, as I cried, I wrote everything I was feeling, the good, the bad, the ugly; I wrote a personal letter to God (which I now term as #DearJesusJournal). I found this to be very therapeutic for me as it helped me unburden my heart and pour it out to Jesus. He did say in His Word to come to Him when we are over-burdened, and He will give us rest (Matthew 11:28). He also said we can pour out our heart to Him for He is our refuge (Psalm 62:8).

After trying to make the marriage work, my ex-husband left in 2017. I found myself alone, broken again, but this time, I had a son to care for on my own. Where do I begin, I thought? I did not think I could do it on my own. I had no money; I almost lost my home to the government and had to go to court to fight to keep my home, however, God gave me victory. I had bailiffs (Debt Collectors) harassing me and seizing my car at times until I paid up. Even my best friend at the time deserted me because she did not really understand my pain and how to help me. That was a hurtful experience.

I eventually got a job in the city after my ex left, but there was always something missing. I pondered what would become of me. I was not happy. I would always find myself crying, and most times would cry myself to sleep, and even sometimes, I would cry for no reason. It was as though I was going round and round in the valley of life. Sometimes when I pray, I would literally see myself (as though through a vision), in the wilderness going round in circles and couldn’t see the way out. Then one day, I figured it out. I found a pattern to the anxiety I was feeling. I found the route to get out of the wilderness.

On The 8th of February 2017, I wrote a letter to Jesus in my #DearJesusJournal telling Him about my intentions to spend time with Him every Wednesday at lunchtime so that I can get to know Him more intimately. Initially, I called it #FastWednesday but later changed it to a name more subtle and loving name to demonstrate my newfound love for Him. I changed it to #LunchDateWithJesus I told Jesus in the letter that on Sundays my spirit is active and pumped up with the word of God which we have heard in church. On Monday, my spirit is still strong and feeding on the word we received on Sunday. On Tuesday, I am still a bit strong, but at this stage, challenges of life were beginning to weigh me down. Then on Wednesday, the middle of the week, I begin to struggle, feeling so discouraged, anxious, crying