Home Truths: Parenting From A Biblical Perspective

By Tracey J Bladen

'Home Truths: Parenting from a Biblical Perspective' is written to encourage Christian parents to apply Biblical knowledge to their parenting.

Combining my passion for being relational with God, my passion for children, and in particular my passion for encouraging positive parenting, this book incorporates God

• Language: English
• Publisher: T J Bladen
• Release date: Apr 19, 2021
• ISBN: 9781838468217

Book preview

HOME TRUTHS

PARENTING FROM A BIBLICAL PERSPECTIVE

Preface

Introductions

Chapter 1: You won’t always know best!

Chapter 2: Discipline won’t break your child!

Chapter 3: Be honest!

Chapter 4: Mistakes and losing!

Chapter 5: Routine is great to a point

Chapter 6: Boundaries change

Chapter 7: Raise expectations

Chapter 8: Pray without ceasing: ponder, reflect, seek

Chapter 9: Teach money

Chapter 10: Parent together, discuss together

Chapter 11: Demonstrate love and the power of touch

Chapter 12: Other love languages

Chapter 13: Be vulnerable and take risks

Chapter 14: What you put in is what you get out!

Chapter 15: Prioritise well

Conclusions

PREFACE

Another parenting book? Really?

As a parent of (currently) two older teens I have devoured parenting books, DVDs, podcasts and the like. There’s so much information out there, in fact, maybe too much. Too much to read and too confusing, even contradictory! Books about parenting babies and toddlers, books about parenting primary age children and books about teenagers. Yes, each ‘stage’ comes with a whole host of ‘new’ challenges, but what I’ve come to realise is that ‘good parenting’ needs to be consistent from cradle to (our) grave.

This book doesn’t focus on any particular age group, but is a collation of my own thoughts as to what is ‘good parenting’, highlighting God’s Word to verify truths that never age. Don’t for a second assume that I’ve reached ‘parent sainthood’ - I can assure you that’s not the case. I have learnt a lot from my mistakes, and on occasion have got things right and rejoiced in that! I’m so grateful to have had the treasure filled Word of God, the Bible, to guide me through this journey of parenthood.

Psalm 127:3 tells us that our children are a gift from the Lord (NLT), a reward in fact! It’s so easy to be overwhelmed with that responsibility - and as much as it’s overwhelming when they are new born - nothing ever prepares you for that - it is still overwhelming when they are teenagers and young adults! God never says that as soon as they are 18 they are no longer your responsibility - in fact this couldn’t be further from the truth!

God loves family, He emphasises the importance of family throughout the Bible. When our children marry, A man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife (Genesis 2:24, NIV) we remain a (more distant but ever present) unit of family for all of our days. In fact the responsibility shifts, as we are taught to be caring for our own family and so repaying our parents and grandparents, for this is pleasing to God (1 Timothy 5:4, NIV).

Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it (Proverbs 22:6, ESV). Not only will we see the fruits of our labour in our children but we will also experience the fruits of our labour from our children.

INTRODUCTIONS

Dan and I have been married for twenty-one years. He is without any doubt my best friend. We work together in our family business and in church leadership and never tire of being together.

We met at university in Leicester and were inseparable from day one. Dan grew up as a Christian and challenged me immediately on my walk with God. I eventually made my decision to ask Jesus into my life three years later.

We are such a team in everything we do: family, church, work and leisure. We complement each other in our gifts and personalities and are definitely most comfortable when in each other’s presence. Together, with God’s blessing, we can do anything!

Jess is our nineteen year old firstborn. She is engaged to Jared, her first boyfriend, who we’ve prayed for since she was in my womb. They are both on fire for God and Jess supports Jared in leading the youth ministry in our church. She is in the first year of a degree course studying psychology, following in her mum’s footsteps!

There are few people that are able to communicate as Jess does - she has such a genuine compassion for people and will talk to and counsel anyone! She has wisdom way beyond her years.

Ben is our youngest child, at sixteen years old. Where Jess is a mini me, Ben is a mini Dan. He can pick up any instrument and play like a pro in minutes! In fact, anything he choses to do, he perfects. He is an ultra talented drummer carrying a real anointing as he plays.

I love watching Dan teach Ben practical skills - he’s pictured here building a shed. Ben has the biggest heart for people that are disadvantaged and he’s challenged us so much as a family to helping people out. He is the most gemerous person I know.

CHAPTER ONE

YOU WON'T ALWAYS KNOW BEST!

The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails to much (James 5:16, NKJV).

Nothing new under the sun

Solomon reminds us in Ecclesiastes that "there is nothing new under the sun" (Ecclesiastes 1:9, NIV). One such thing that will remain consistent is that everyone has an opinion how you should parent your child! People are either passionate about breast feeding, passionate about bottle feeding, passionate about how long to leave a baby to cry, passionate about routines and so on and so on. And they are always convinced that they know best! Nothing prepares you quite for the barrage of opinions. I remember being overwhelmed by this and my midwife telling me, ‘don’t worry, you will know what’s right for your child.’

To an extent you do. I believe that a lot of motherhood and fatherhood is instinctive - particularly when, as Christians, we have the Holy Spirit living in us. I often ‘felt’ what was right or not right. But I certainly didn’t ‘know’, primarily because it was all new and learning new skills often means learning by error!

Learning from our elders

One of the most influential people in my first few months of motherhood with Jess, was a Breastfeeding Counsellor named Bev. I really wanted to breastfeed my children for a whole host of reasons, but I struggled and it hurt like I never imagined. To begin with, it felt like the most unnatural thing in the world. Bev equipped me with not just the physical support in positioning baby and latching on, but also in my knowledge. She fed me with oodles of information that in turn created a determination that I am so thankful for. I breast fed Jess until she was a year old and Ben until he was 10 months. I had numerous agonising cases of mastitis, the first on my first mothers’ day as a mum - that was hard!

This is not about advocating breast feeding over bottle feeding - ‘fed is indeed best!’. Bev taught me that although everyone has an opinion, some people have evidence to support their opinions that we should listen to and take on board. She was there for me - and encouraged me and walked with me when I needed her.

I remember my mother-in-law telling me to ‘swaddle’ Jess when she was newborn. Swaddling is wrapping a baby up in blankets so that he/she is snug and secure, usually with their arms inside the swaddling. I was honestly appalled at the idea! But as it happens, one day she was having a cuddle with her and just so happened to swaddle her! As I’m contemplating how to relieve my child from captivity, my in-law explained how Jess has been in a contained environment in the womb for nine months! My womb has grown with her and so really she had been so used to being snug as a bug! I could visualise it now and see that rather than it being restrictive, it was in fact reassuring for her.

How did she know this? How did Bev know what she did? There’s nothing new under the sun! So let’s make time to hear from those that have experienced what we are experiencing and try to understand their reasoning!

We are called to submit yourselves to your elders (1 Peter 5:5, NIV). That is not just those who are elder in the numerical sense, but those who are spiritually wiser in the biblical sense. God teaches us that it is good for us