Now & Szen: The Way to Positive Change Begins Here

By GARY SZENDERSKI

The future will not change your life. And neither will the past. The fertile moment of now is the only place in time where change can be made, where dreams can be acted on, and where the decisions we make can change our world, the world.

 

"The only thing that separates the you today from the new and powerful you that's meant to

• Language: English
• Publisher: Szen Marketing
• Release date: Sep 7, 2020
• ISBN: 9781087911625

GARY SZENDERSKI

Gary Szenderski is an author, speaker, teacher, professional leadership coach, and branding specialist, internationally acclaimed as an expert on the subject. He specializes in helping people and organizations to navigate change and frequently speaks and writes about emerging brands, personal branding and companies in transition. Gary is an award-winning writer, often quoted marketing expert and recipient of the Distinguished Instructor Award from the University of California in Irvine where he has been teaching marketing and branding since 2003. He resides in Southern California and welcomes your comments. Email him at [e-mail].

Book preview

Change isn’t the obstacle to success,

it’s the path to it. 

DEDICATION

I dedicate this book to all of my loyal readers of my books and blogs for their encouragement and support. Without you, this book would not have happened. Thank you.

FORWARD

If you need a quick mental pick-me-up, or a deep dive into your psychological underpinnings, Gary Szenderski gets you there with enlightened insights, wit, and charming prose. I am privileged to have Gary on my Emmy Award winning show on PBS, Between the Lines with Barry Kibrick . In the past 23 years I have been asked many times to write the forward to a book, or a blurb for an author to use. This is the first time I have accepted to do so. The reason is simple. Gary does not just give you useful information, and enriching knowledge, but helps take you down a path of true wisdom.

His previous works, The Book of Szen and Szen Zone, are never out of reach as they reside on my desk and at the ready whenever I need a fresh perspective. His latest gem, Now and Szen will inhabit a space right beside them.

Gary has the rare ability to make every chapter a story that resonates to the innermost degree and never fails to reach me on a personal level with a sense of humor, poignancy, and joy of discovery.

I am confident, that like me, you too will not only read Gary’s words but also feel them penetrate you in a way that sticks not only in your mind, but in your heart and soul. Pamper yourself with a fulfilling treat; after all, we all could use one Now and Szen.

Barry Kibrick

Three-time Emmy winning Host/Producer of Between the Lines with Barry Kibrick 2019 Recipient of the Ellis Island Medal of Honor Host/Producer of Barry Kibrick-Just Between Us

INTRODUCTION

The future will not change your life. And neither will the past. The fertile moment of now is the only place in time where change can be made, where dreams can be acted on, and where the decisions we make can change our world, the world.

Welcome to NOW & SZEN, the third book of a series that explores our innate human nature and power to create positive change. Book I, Book of Szen, features stories and inspiration for a changing world. Book II, SZEN ZONE, encourages us to take control of change. The general overarching theme focuses on change and all aspects of it: Creating change, surviving change and managing change with the goal of recognizing the power we have to become what we choose, both when we’re in control and how to deal with it when we’re not.

EACH OF THESE BOOKS is a compilation of short stories written over years, one week at a time. Thus, there is no single plot or order that you need to understand. Any story on any given day may be the one that calls to you. Each reveals a common theme of SZEN – a belief that we all have the power to create the life of our dreams – WOW! Whereas ZEN is of the moment and what is, SZEN celebrates what could be. A quote from the Book of Szen:

The only thing that separates the you today from the new and powerful you that’s meant to be, is the step that your heart is begging you to take.

I think that intrinsically we all understand and appreciate that we can be more: Be more healthy, be more active, make more money and give and receive more love. Whatever more you seek may have been buried somewhat with the passing of time and has lost the spark that once could ignite you. This book will challenge you to dig deep and take control of what happens next. It’s not a magic potion or simply wishful thinking. It’s a recipe for seeing that what’s right in front of us today can be the launch pad for our new self, with tomorrows filled with more of what we desire – To transform from Now to Wow.

In every seed of change is the power to create something new. To leave what was, close a door and move toward a new version of ourselves.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Gary Szenderski is an author, speaker, teacher, professional leadership coach, and branding specialist, internationally acclaimed as an expert on the subject. He specializes in helping people and organizations to navigate change and frequently speaks and writes about emerging brands, personal branding and companies in transition. Gary is an award-winning writer, often quoted marketing expert and recipient of the Distinguished Instructor Award from the University of California in Irvine where he has been teaching marketing and branding since 2003. He resides in Southern California and welcomes your comments. Email him at [e-mail].

CONTENTS

The Stories of Now & Szen

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

Many things have changed over the last few years while I’ve been writing these stories. What have not changed are the people in my life that bless me with their presence, insights and love. This includes my two boys Maxwell and Adam, and my five brothers, Jeff, Don, Kevin, Keith and David. My good friend and mentor Jerry Walters reminds me there is always more to be discovered. Barry Kibrick has reinvented himself and brought life-changing perspective to millions. And to all that have responded to my work with affirmations and gratitude: They tell me like it is and for that I am truly thankful.

Winds of Change

W hen the wind of change blows, some people build walls, others build windmills. This old Chinese proverb provides a beautiful metaphor for how we can approach transitions with either resistance or purpose. In my own experience I’d say that most folks would resist change. The reason is that it takes awhile to get things just the way we like them. There is comfort in consistency and when life is predictable there are so many fewer things to have to worry about. When we create the perfect routine – where we can absolutely know what will happen next  – the last thing we want to do is upset that pattern.

But hey, change comes at us all the time and it doesn’t care what kind of routine we’ve established. Change will have its way. And strangely, most elections are won on the basis of initiating change. We all seem to want change and vote for it, but perhaps not in our own back yard.  But change still has quite an allure and the spirit of change is often the messenger of hope. We will seek and embrace change when our hearts tell us there is something amiss with our now. 

The real problem with change is we can’t get the people we want to change, to change. If only they would do this or that or feel another way or shave the beard or whatever, life would be great. And therein lies the definition of utopia: I’m fine the way I am and everybody else has to conform. Sorry, but not happening. Life is all about trade-offs and compromise, but also choice and decisions. We live best when we are drawn to our heart’s calling, where we navigate toward some personal vision or goal that calls to us and somehow feels like home. Change actually becomes the wind in our sails and once we know where we’re headed, change will be our companion until we arrive.

Here’s to a memorable and beautiful journey. Not every transition may be pleasant, but often necessary to get where we want to go. 

Szenippet: The seed of all change is choice. When we choose a path, there will be many forks in the road and the choices we make will define our destiny. 

Straight On Till Morning

S econd star to the right and straight on till morning is one of my favorite lines and it comes from the J.M. Barrie work Peter Pan . It’s a call to a grander, greater life – A life of abundance, adventure and joy, a journey to the unknown. This option remains always within reach no matter how stuck or stalled we may feel we have become. 

We’re taught that control is a variable in happiness – and so it is. When we have freedom and choices and can control our own actions, we have potential to soar past that second star and beyond. Sometimes, though, we view control as its own goal and final destination and gain comfort in controlling our surroundings, security, income, children, job, etc. We are comforted by the fact that we have eliminated chance from the equation. Events and life itself cease to be unknown and everything is predictable and known in advance. For some, the end of the day is predetermined before the sun has even cast its first wink of light. 

I am not one of those people, not because I don’t see the benefit of consistency or predictability, but rather I have difficulty in following the recipe for how life is supposed to unfold. When morning casts its first shadow for me it brings a hope for what’s next or new, not a schedule. It unlocks the unknown, not a rerun. Yes, I do have a generally good idea of what to expect, but for the last few decades, I’ve been surprised every time. And the reason that happens is pretty simple: I seek the unknown and I’m open to the possibilities.

Generally speaking, we all learn to stay the course by seeing what we want and disregarding the rest. By following our plan, we can reach objectives and use repetition to ensure that the path is clear and consistent. It’s a pretty good way to live and I’m always amazed at the discipline people can bring to bear on their dreams. Their take on the quote from Peter Pan might be: When are you going to grow up? Different strokes as they say and I’m in no position, nor is anyone else, to judge.

STRAIGHT ON TILL MORNING!

Szenippet: The shortest distance between you and happiness is the space between an open and a closed door.

A Course in Creation

We are not our resume . Nor are we what we own or how we look or sound. We are not what others see when they look at us. We are not the title, or the paycheck, or the car or the house. We are not without power. We are not weak or limited. Where we are does not define who we are.

What all of us are, is how we end this sentence: I am  ____. If we could take some time to consider how often we sabotage our day or our thinking by finishing that sentence with a debilitating premise such as I am sick or tired or poor or alone, etc. we could turn the moments of doubt and discomfort into something different, and better. For example, we could say to ourselves: I am strong, rich, powerful, healthy, alive and in love, etc..

Creation takes place when we change the sentence. By listening to the creator (our inner voice) within we can begin contemplating a grander presence and a new day and life. Filling in the blanks with a dream actually begins the process of bringing the dream to life. The pronouncement of I am ___ is whatever we want to be or feel called to be; it is the key to change, which is where we find the seeds to create.

I am triggers thoughts, actions and events that will confirm what we believe. We literally live up to our own declarations of self. Change the script and everything changes with it. It’s a simple notion, and it works, and I am really happy that you let me share this with you.

Szenippet: In every seed of change is the power to create something new: To leave what was, close a door and move toward a new version of ourselves. 

One Picture, Different Pages

There is a test taken by psychology students that asks them to describe what they see in a simple black and white sketch. Depending on one’s point of view you might either see a cragged old woman or a beautiful young girl in a hat. You can look this up on the Internet and try yourself. There is no right or wrong answer and your choice does not say anything about your personal psychology. The real point is that both are there, and disagree all you want, but some can only see one or the other and it’s reported that some tension has resulted in students shouting and debating with other students over something as simple as one’s personal perspective. Eventually, if we try, we can learn to see both images.

This is a controlled and well-designed test with built-in explanations and descriptions. There are videos that animate the famous sketch so it becomes very clear that there are two quite distinct personas present in the art. The test actually isn’t so much about what we can see but more about what we allow to be on the same page. Our natural abilities to label and categorize and judge means the options are potentially unlimited. So here we are in a world that more than in any previous time can project countless points of view. These are all integrated with other views and meld into what becomes a huge mural for our existence – every stone and aspect, although distinct, combines to reveal a bigger and more complete picture. Our mission is to decide how much we really see or want to see.

The title of my first collection of stories is Out of Mind, Out of Sight. It presents the simple notion that it’s not that when we see it, we will believe it, but rather when we believe it, we will see it. If we can incorporate this rationale into our everyday encounters, we will begin to notice that we all live in only a smidgeon of reality. Everybody has their own projections on what is and what matters. Yes, facts might be important and science is often unassailable but the bottom line is we live and exist because of what we believe and how those beliefs help us create vision and future and opportunity. If we believe in faith and luck or whatever, it will come; if not, not.

Take a moment to look at your beliefs versus those of others around you. Chances are they may be distinctly different but also may have some common ground where one picture can hold different scenarios. It’s okay to peek to see what others think and it might help us reframe what we think, too. For example, Just like Santa will continue to exist forever even though a few know the real story. Our own beliefs will orchestrate how we want to see our story unfold. And just because we can’t always see that in each other doesn’t mean it’s not there. Take a look.

Szenippet: Seeing is Believing is not as powerful an axiom as Believing is Seeing. Turn on the belief switch and let the rest of the world in, you’ll see.

Back to Normal

In the last couple of years or so I’ve noticed that the idea of a new normal has taken seed in our collective psyches. This includes the political landscape, the effect of global warming on polar bears and such or the recurring fires that plague California. It seems we’ve become, or are becoming, a more forgiving and accepting species. When trends are not in alignment with values as we once believed they should be, we reset the bar with new values, which seem okay for some reason. I mean we can’t really change all of these things, can we? So let’s just set the goals a little lower and get on with our lives. The new normal is here to stay.

I realize it’s not really like that and we can all point to people and points of view that would argue either side of the many dilemmas we face as a society. And each argument would be based on sound thinking and judgment wrapped around a set of beliefs that tend to reinforce our thinking and actions. Over time we all follow the human axiom and become what we believe. It’s inevitable and uncompromising. Still, I can recall a time when negotiations and compromise netted positive scenarios for everyone. We used to be able to see another’s point of view and meet in the middle. There is no middle it seems anymore. It’s only us vs. them, and the polarity is widening.

This all feels unsettling to me. I’m still looking for what’s the new middle, not the new normal.  If we seek the middle, we begin to see the other’s perspective. When we are adamant about our stance, we learn very little. And that is how evolution begins to slow. Without the desire to truly understand and empathize, we might as well live alone. Learning is our ticket to a better future. This includes an opinion we consider, an op-ed we reference or a quote from an elder statesman that brings perspective.  The answer is different for all of us, but because we do tend to follow herd instincts, maybe it’s time not to follow the scent of the herd but to follow our own hearts and make that the new normal, like it used to be.

SZENIPPET: WHEN CHANGE is in the air, it’s there for everyone. No change is in isolation from another. When we move, and challenge what is, it impacts what will become next. Change is the constant connection we have with our planet and each other. So when we change anything, we potentially change everything. 

Recipe for Progress

Atraditional tactic used in negotiation is to take two steps forward and then one step back. It gives the appearance of compromise but if left to its own devices it eventually will have two-stepped its way into your world and will own some of it. Before we let that happen let’s take a closer look at the relationship between progress and its evil twin, regression .

Progress is advancing and regression is retreating. Knowing how to play one against the other is the key to creating positive change in our lives. When we’re in the moving forward mode we have eyes peeled on the horizon and can see the efforts of our attempt manifest as easily as is if our destiny was reading our mind. We’re drawn by a new vision and by keeping focused on that dream we not only pick up speed, we gain clarity and control. Conversely, if we take our foot off the gas we could stall and become frustrated. Why would we do that? Because the pull of the status quo has history on its side and it will play out scenarios from our past where we maybe gave up before and were rewarded with a new comfort zone. These flashbacks can draw us into complacency and ennui. 

To offset this alluring draw to stand pat, we only have our vision to lead us. And to the degree that our vision can, it will, in the process of becoming a reality, become the anchor for our new port of call. Arrival at our vision’s destination is a sign we’re on the right path. And as