Dreaming

By Mila Goldner

The book begins with an explanation about existentialism as a philosophical theory with applicability to everyday life.  The first story is called Encounter and deals with the existential issues of fear of death in a context of English and Serbian cultural diversity through the lens of the collective unconscious that s

• Language: English
• Publisher: BZ Bo Bo
• Release date: Jun 8, 2020
• ISBN: 9781792329951

Mila Goldner

Mila Goldner was born in Serbia where she finished her medical degree and training in neuropsychiatry. She completed her Master's Thesis and PhD in the field of Social Psychiatry. During her professional life in Belgrade, Serbia, she worked as a psychiatrist, individual, group and family therapist. She was an Associate Professor at the University of Belgrade, School of Medicine. She is a Professor of ECPD. Since 1994 Mila has been a Consultant Psychiatrist and Lecturer in Auckland, New Zealand, School of Medicine and at James Cook University in Cairns, Queensland, Australia. She is a Fellow of the Royal Australian and New Zealand College of Psychiatrists and a member of the American Psychiatric Association. Her special interests are Cultural Psychiatry, Perinatal Psychiatry, Personality Disorders, Trauma, Existentialism, Family Dynamics and Family Therapy. She has published many books and papers in the field of psychiatry and family dynamics. She lectures and provides seminars in Europe, Australia and New Zealand.

Book preview

Dreaming is a work of fiction and very few real experiences. Names, characters and episodes are the product of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons is entirely coincidental.

First edition published in Serbian

CIP - Cataloging in a publication

National Library of Serbia, Belgrade

821.163.41-3

615.851

141.32

GOLDNER-Vukov, Mila

Snevanje/Mila Goldner-Vukov

Belgrade: M. Goldner-Vukov, 2007 (Belgrade: Mio Book). - 224 p.; 24 cm

Circulation 300. - Notes and bibliographical references to the text.

COBISS.SR-ID 142707980

2020 BZ Bo Bo Press Paperback Edition

Copyright 2020 by Mila Goldner

All Rights Reserved

Published in the United States of America by BZ Bo Bo Press, Irvine, California.

ISBN 978-1-7923-2994-4 (trade paperback)

ISBN 978-1-7923-2995-1 (e-book)

Printed in USA on acid free paper.

1st Edition

Traveler, there are no paths.

Paths are made by walking.

Aboriginal saying

CONTENTS

PREFACE

ENCOUNTER

DREAM

TRUTH

JOURNEY

REVIEWS

Review I

Review II

Review III

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

PREFACE

Please understand that this preface is a synthesis of many existential concepts and ideas. I suggest you read it initially to get an overview and return to read it again after reading the stories that show the ideas that are discussed.

For a long time, I was thinking of writing a book that would link my professional experiences in the field of psychiatry and existential psychotherapy with the knowledge I gained during my stay in the exotic areas of the South Pacific. During my life in New Zealand and Australia, I was particularly interested in two cultures: Anglo-Saxon and Aboriginal. I have gained very important experiences from both cultures. The Anglo-Saxon culture constantly directed me toward the need for personal security and the inclusion of conscious processes, and encouraged me to develop the skills of social adaptation. The Aboriginal culture opened ways for me to uncover unconscious processes and symbols and significantly stimulated the development of my creativity, intuition, and spirituality. The deeper I entered into the diversity of the cultural and value systems of the Anglo-Saxon and Aboriginal cultures as well as the culture from which I came, the more I saw that people are very similar when they encounter the basic existential dilemmas. How someone will solve the most important issues of existence depends on individual and sociocultural history as well as on spiritual capacities, but each person has the potential to be like everyone, like someone, like him or herself.

The most important issues of human existence, that is, the ultimate concerns we must face as part of our reality, became an awakening to me when I realized that I constantly had been encountering, directly or symbolically, throughout all my life, the problem of death, the fear of isolation, the search for meaning and the need for freedom. The desire to write a book that was a mixture of fiction and real experience came during a phase in my life when I had to choose between creativity or stagnation. Creating and integrating professional and life experiences seemed to me as a good challenge for another step on the spiral path of development.

I always wanted to write a book that would bring people a better understanding of existential philosophy and psychotherapy. The terms used in explaining the notion of existentialism have always seemed to be vague, incoherent, cold and rational, although they include humanistic ideas, such as the importance of interpersonal encounters, authenticity, the possibility of choice and transformation. I thought that the alienated language of professional literature could be translated into the language of ordinary people, that is, all of us who are meeting, dreaming, searching for the truth, and traveling through life seeking the meaning of existence.

Some of the most comprehensibly formulated concepts I use in this book are as follows:

Existentialism is a philosophical movement that explains that every person is responsible for finding his or her own meaning in life. Victor Frankl¹ summarizes it in this way: A man should not ask what the meaning of his life is, but rather must recognize that it is he who is asked by life; a man can only answer to life by answering for his own life; a man can only answer to life by being responsible.

Basically, existentialists deal with the problem of freedom that is not something absolute because a man is not free from life’s problems. There is freedom of choice between the stimulus and the answer¹; that is, no one can take away a man’s freedom to have his own attitude toward the givens of life.

Existentialism is the concept that emerged as a reaction to rationalism (a belief that actions should be based on reason and knowledge) and empiricism (a belief that people should rely on experience and experimentation). Both directions emphasized metaphysical principles in the perception of the world. Existentialism stands for the idea that a human being should find him or herself in an absurd world that is determined by science, philosophy, and religion. By taking responsibility for their existence, humans diminish the experience of loneliness and the sense of being alienated from their environment.

Existentialists consider human beings less sexually and more existentially frustrated. Meaninglessness and emptiness create an existential vacuum that is most often experienced as the feeling of boredom. Every man has the need and desire to find his own meaning. Jaspers says, Existence means an indescribable experience of freedom and opportunity. A human being achieves his or her authenticity and transcendence only through dealing with suffering, conflicts, guilt, opportunities, and death.² Sartre explains the existential situation best through the words, A human being is nothing but what he or she makes of him or herself.³

With some philosophers, there is a tendency to present existentialism as focused on the individual. However, existentialists such as Rollo May, Irwin Yalom, and James Bugental emphasize the importance of relationships, which provides exceptional value to existential psychotherapy, considering the healing nature of interpersonal encounters. Therapy helps people accept responsibility for their choices and diminish the pain of the inevitable suffering of life by giving it meaning.

Existential psychotherapy is a type of dynamic psychotherapy that focuses on solving specific problems deeply ingrained in human existence. The essence of existential dynamics consists of conflicts that arise when a person encounters four essential existential issues, or as Tillich and Yalom call them, ultimate concerns: death, isolation, lack of meaning in life, and freedom.⁴

The fundamental existential conflict in the problem of death is the tension between the knowledge of the inevitability of one’s end and the desire to exist. In existential isolation, there is a conflict between the experience of absolute isolation and the need for contact, protection, and belonging. If it is a matter of meaninglessness, the conflict is revealed in the dilemma of searching for meaning in a meaningless Universe. The conflict between the realization that there is no support and man’s need for grounding and structure is at the heart of the existential problem of freedom.⁵

Four essential existential problems activate man’s conscious and unconscious fears. If fears are unconscious, they are converted through defense mechanisms into psychiatric symptoms or psychopathology. Disorders that should alert us to presence of existential problems include anxiety, depression, alcoholism, compulsion, suicide attempts, etc. When a person is aware of his or her fears, then he or she recognizes discomfort and angst in front of his or her finite existence in situations when he or she is alone and cannot decide or when he or she is burdened with the meaninglessness of everyday trivialities.

Group existential therapy as a form of interpersonal therapy assumes that a human being falls into despair because of his or her inability to establish meaningful relationships with other people. If elements of an existential approach are added to group therapy, then it is assumed that a person falls into despair because of conflicts with the givens of existence. Unlike psychoanalytic therapy that considers unconscious forces to affect conscious functioning, in existential psychotherapy, the internal connection is not only related to the impaired instinctual needs and suppressed traumatic experiences but also with the givens of existence. A human being does not have to be unhappy only because of his or her past, but also because of his or her present, as Viktor Frankl would say.⁶

…

While living in New Zealand, it was my interest to learn the Anglo-Saxon culture, that is, the system of values and patterns of behavior that determine the specificities of English mentality.

In New Zealand 70 percent of the population are Europeans who mostly originate from Great Britain. New Zealanders have their own established identity and are proud of being Kiwi (nicknamed after a nocturnal bird that lives only in New Zealand), but in the majority in New Zealand I have recognized traces of English mentality which, according to Katie Fox, are characterized by being reserved, polite, private, and eccentric with an English sense of humor and hypocrisy.⁷ I deliberately say the English mentality, not the British, because England is a nation and Britain is a political structure made up of several nations. When it comes to the nation, it is expected that there is a specific national culture and character. The English within Great Britain display their particular characteristics of which they are proud and continue to nurture.

As a psychiatrist, it was challenging for me to learn something more about English culture, especially since my Slavic nature and emotion often brought misunderstandings in communicating with New Zealanders. The emotional restraint of English people is the primary obstacle in their relationship to their archetypes as well as to nations that are more expressive with their emotions and behavior, but also toward cultures that are more oriented to spiritual values.

…

Particular interest and even passion awakened in me the mystique of Australia. New Zealand and Australia have a similar geological origin. About 200 million years ago there was a Southern continent called Gondwanaland. This continent collapsed over time and created sextuplets: South America, Africa, India, Australia, Antarctica, and New Zealand.⁸

New Zealand and Australia have many similarities, but also differences. I will try to limit myself only to the subjective experience of these differences.

When looking at a geographical map, New Zealand, which is located near the very end of the world, with two narrow and long islands, resembles a slim, modest, vital youth. On the world stage, New Zealand endeavors to maintain its style of neutrality and benevolence. New Zealand does not accept premature opinions and decisions, and unwillingly agrees to sing in the chorus of general globalization. As a young and vital nation, New Zealanders are leisurely walking along the beaches of the Pacific or the Tasman Sea. In that same youthful innocence, volcanoes and earthquakes resemble testosterone bombs that are silenced by romantic and feminine pohutukawa (a tree that blossoms with beautiful red flowers around Christmas time) and huge ferns originating from the Jurassic era.

Political correctness is a fundamental principle of life in New Zealand. Correctness encompasses the famous English sense of fair play; that is, anyone who lives in New Zealand should be given a chance to make the best of life, which is his or her potential.

Another aspect of the political correctness of New Zealanders is identified in their efforts to mitigate the consequences of colonial history.

I increasingly believe that certain qualities of English mentality are observed in New Zealanders, including a rational approach to problem-solving, evaluation of duties, order, and discipline, and a respect for differences that contribute to the stability of this country. Australia on the map of the world looks more like the large, beautiful and rich sister of youthful New Zealand. She inherited her treasures from Mother Earth and jealously preserves her inheritance.

I admire everything that the Australians as a people have done to make their homeland suitable for a beautiful and happy life.

What most attracts me in Australia is the mystery of Australian deserts, and especially the Simpson Desert. It is interesting that all the deserts together account for 44 percent of the total territory. The Simpson Desert is located in two Australian provinces: the Northern Territory and Queensland. It covers 100,000 square kilometers and is 176,500 km long. This desert has the longest parallel dunes in the world. The soil in this desert contains iron ore, which causes it to be colored red and is called the Red Desert and is often referred to as the outback, which, when translated, should mean that the desert is far from the influence of the modern world.⁹

In the Red Desert, I feel like I am at home. Not the most venomous snakes (9 out of 10 in the world), nor the dingo, nor the infinitely boring flies that enter the nose, ears, and eyes—nothing prevents me from being happy and relaxed in the Red Desert. Why I feel this way, I do not know. Maybe someone who in various ways invited me to go to that outback knows, but that one remained invisible. At least for now. Or that someone is this part of the same collective unconscious to which I belong, and together we believe that one should be in synchrony with the world around him or herself. The Aborigines would describe this as a deep connection with Dreaming, and the English poet Yates described it as spiritus mundi or space of the spiritual world.¹⁰

In the Red Desert, there is the world’s largest monolith, known as Uluru (big pebbles). It’s a red rock that they say is made of petrified sand. Only 10 percent of its mass rises above the ground. The circumference of this monolith is nine kilometers. Uluru changes its color depending on the position of the sun. The Aborigines believe that Uluru represents a home of mythical beings, such as a snake-man, sleeping lizard and others. In the caves and cliffs of the monolith, there are drawings with animal figures, as well as mystical and abstract geometric figurines whose symbols emphasize the importance of ancient legends.¹⁰ In the vicinity of Uluru is Kata Tjuta (meaning many heads when the name is translated from the Aboriginal language). The heads are composed of huge red rocks, and there are 36 in number. These heads remind me of the martyrs who support the world. It is known that if anything should happen to a single martyr, then the world would collapse. The Aborigines living in this part of the Red Desert advise people not to climb Uluru and Kata Tjuta. Both Uluru and Kata Tjuta are Aboriginal sacred places designated for rituals and ceremonies through which the Aborigines establish a harmonious relationship with the world around them and promote mental health, as K. G. Jung would say.¹¹

Aborigines care for travelers who, in their curiosity and arrogance, deliberately climb cliffs of their sanctuaries, defying nature and spiritual values. However, the Aborigines are also concerned about the destiny of the world, and I would say they are correct in their efforts.

If people do not respect holy places, rituals, and ceremonies, if they lose all other possibilities for ecstasy (the Greek word that signifies being outside of one’s ego) through empathy, love, compassion, music, nature and the feeling of being connected with the world around them—then opportunities are created for destruction, mental illness, suicide, or in other words, a space for the loss of souls is created.¹¹ Also, if the soul is lost, then there is a strong possibility that the entire world will be lost.

…

Aboriginal people have the oldest living culture on Earth. At the same time, they are the oldest maritime migration in the world because they came to Australia about 60,000 years ago and maybe earlier. It is assumed that they came from Asia. Aboriginal people believe they originated in Australia. The name Aborigines derives from the Latin ab origine and means from the beginning. Paleontological, biological and linguistic studies indicate that the Aborigines developed in isolation from other human beings longer than any other humans on earth. They did not know about wars and inequality in wealth and power. Their technology, ideas, religion, and social order are purely their creation, which means that they are a strictly pure race, culture, and religion that cannot be compared to any culture in the rest of the world.¹²

For thousands of years, Aboriginal people carried their knowledge and skills through rituals, plays, and songs.

Before the arrival of Europeans to Australia, there were between 200,000 and 750,000 Aborigines.

The first European sailors from the beginning of the 17th century ignored Australia without finding it a source of material gain. Later it was discovered that Australia was a wealthy country, and to make everything more ironic, the very first sailors landed at the site that is the world’s largest source of bauxite.¹³

In 1788 when the first British colonialists and prisoners arrived in Australia, this was the beginning of a pogrom (organized massacre) of Aboriginal people. Since Aboriginal people were so isolated from the rest of the human race for such a long time, they were the most unique people that the British ever could have encountered in their conquest. They lived in isolation, but in harmony with nature that helped Aboriginal people develop a highly sophisticated spirituality. However, they faced colonialists from the most technologically advanced culture at that time, which placed more value on material than spiritual development.¹⁴

By 1850, Europeans became the majority of the Australian population as a result of their egregious massacre and killing of more than 90 percent of the Aboriginal people. Aborigines, although Australia’s oldest inhabitants and the oldest indigenous nation in the world, were granted citizenship only in 1967.

In the period between 1900 and 1969, children of mixed Aboriginal and European racial origin were taken from their Aboriginal parents and brought to camps, orphanages or convents or given for adoption to Anglo-Saxon families. The aim of this cultural assimilation was to achieve racial purity and to destroy the identity of the first nation peoples. A large number of children lost their roots and their families. The trauma created by this sociopolitical campaign which is now called the Stolen Generations did not affect only individuals and Aboriginal families, but became a national tragedy.¹⁵

I can only understand the suffering of the Aboriginal people during the colonial European expansion as well as their efforts to maintain their identity that is organized around the saying the land is my mother, my mother is my country, with the words of Andrew Harvey, writer and mystic from Oxford University. He says: "If the human race does not begin to listen to the voices of the First World, the voices of those first cultures who lived in pure and sacred intimacy with nature, it may happen that the world will perish. Also, what do these voices tell us: . . . about the necessity for human beings to become humble and filled with gratitude in front of the Universe . . . about the depth of humans’ responsibility to be guardians of the natural world." ¹⁶

…

In Aboriginal culture, people develop their spiritual existence in harmony with the Universe. The natural world is guided by the same principles and patterns that determine the creation of culture and society. Nature gives life to people, and through the culture people give meaning to nature. Nature and culture live the invisible life of their creators from the DreamTime or The Dreaming.

The Aboriginal people see the creation of the world and the way the world functions in a specific way. This concept can be partly understood through Aboriginal DreamTime or The Dreaming.

The origin of the verb dreaming is at the root of the word altjira, which means eternity in Aborigine. On this basis, Dreaming expresses the idea that dreams can see things and events that are eternal. Dreaming as a noun signifies the emergence of eternity. DreamTime or Dreaming is timeless, which means it is not only related to the past and the original creation of the world, but it represents the present and is eternally ongoing.

The Dreaming as a term has more meanings, such as the story of things that happened a long time ago and that are still happening. It establishes the moral, social and psychological connection between contemporaries, ancestors, and nature. The Dreaming means recognizing the unity and interdependence of people and all aspects of nature. The Dreaming is a study of the creation of the Universe, when spirit beings created the land and with it the different plant and animal species and the laws of existence. In the widest sense DreamTime or The Dreaming indicates how the Universe became a moral system.¹⁷

…

Studies have shown that the Aboriginal people spend more than half their conscious life in ceremonies, in ritual places, and in profoundly listening to the spirituality around them. Jung was among the first to recognize the significance of this phenomenon. Aboriginal people live in connection with dreams, and Dreaming as a term corresponds to