The Escort's Notebook: A Decade of Writing on Internet Sex Work

By Brooks

Written by escort Amanda Brooks over the span of a decade, The Escort's Notebook reads like a unique newsfeed and/or business manual and touches on a variety of provocative issues. Nearly 100 insightful blog entries have been curated and updated (when necessary) to give the reader a glimpse at an often misunderstood career. Includes pie

• Language: English
• Publisher: Golden Girl Press, LLC
• Release date: Dec 28, 2018
• ISBN: 9780978094454

Brooks

Amanda Brooks is an American escort and advocate. She's appeared on "The O'Reilly Factor", in CNBC's "The Business of High End Prostitution", National Geographic's "Sex For Sale", and lectured at Duke University; along with global work and travel.

Book preview

Preface

This book is a collection of writing about Internet escort work. Most of that writing was on the blog, The Notebook — A Bu$ine$$ Blog For Escorts, which was a companion blog to my Internet Escort’s Handbook series. After the passage of SESTA/FOSTA in March 2018, I removed the blog. I hadn’t added to it since 2015 anyway. The passage of SESTA/FOSTA has changed the online industry and it hasn’t even gone into effect yet.[1]

The Notebook (blog) entries span from September 2006 to April 2015; just under a decade. My blog entries here all have the original date of publication and many have updated information for today. I didn’t blog frequently but in reviewing the material for this book, I realized I covered a much broader range of topics than I thought. All entries here are copyrighted by me and I can reprint them in any way I wish. This includes the short-lived column I wrote for EscortSupport.com from October 2007 through March 2008. With one exception,  I do not include articles I wrote for other publications or websites. It also doesn’t include the few guest-posts I had on the blog. There are a few pieces that have never been seen by the public, either because they sat in the Drafts folder forever or because they were my side of a private conversation. I do not identify the other parties, of course.

Since it was a blog, I linked to relevant resources. Relevant at the time. If you think some of these links are old, you’re right. I’ve updated the links that I can, noted when links were defunct. As always, use a search engine to find out more about any topic or website I mention, especially if the link I originally had is dead or doesn’t give as much information as you wish.

Though this book is divided into topical parts, the chapters (i.e. individual blog posts) within each section are arranged in chronological order, from earliest to most recent. This does mean that there is some jumping around, as you’ll read from 2006-2015 in one section, then start all over again with posts from 2006 in the next. I felt that many of my posts were evergreen (or needed little updating). It makes more sense for you to be able to read about topics of interest without having to hunt for the information, especially since not all the blog titles accurately describe the contents of the post.

I am an Amazon Associate, a member of their affiliate program. When I link to Amazon products, I include my referrer code so that I may earn a small commission from any purchases you make. None of your personal information is shared with me via Amazon. If you wish to make money off Amazon using this program, I explain how.

What are The Internet Escort’s Handbooks?

The series is based on my philosophy:

Happy escorts make happy clients

Happy clients make a happy business

A happy business makes a happy life

A happy life is a good life

These books are about escort work; someone who sells her time for money. Not someone who sells sex for money. The series consists of two books[2] that detail the myriad of options an Internet escort faces, starting with making the decision to become an escort, structuring her business, running her business and balancing her professional and personal lives. The purpose behind this series is to encourage escorts to be smart in what they do and to do it well. There is no reason to take needless risks in this business, and no reason not to make as much money as possible, since this job has a relatively short shelf life.

The scope of this series is limited. I’m speaking from the perspective of a female escort in the U.S. whose clientele is heterosexual men. If you’re looking for answers on how to get into the male escort world, you will have to seek them elsewhere.

This series is aimed at the mid-range level of escort who charges $300 – $500 per hour, whether singly or in multiple hours. Escorts who charge less than this are usually undercutting themselves, and they should charge more if they possibly can.

Clients complain about the lack of intelligent, pretty, level-headed, and reliable escorts on the Net. I hope that more escorts become true businesswomen and not only satisfy this market demand, but attract quality clients, have good experiences, and are successful. To accomplish this, escorts must know how to take care of themselves, carefully screen potential clients, and develop a well thought-out marketing angle. (As a reminder, if you’re reading this book because you think you might want to be an escort, please reread the Disclaimer, if not Book 1: The Foundation in its entirety.)

What You Can Expect From This Book

Keeping what I said above in mind, The Notebook blog was written as a companion to the series. It was written in the same spirit, but is more conversational and current to the time of its writing. Some of this information is as researched as I can possibly make it; a lot is learned from working as an Internet escort. Some of the information comes from outside sources and they’re usually linked.

All three of these books are about information. Judging by the responses of my escort interviews, I cover a lot of topics escorts need and want to know more about.

I have biases and you will discover them. (For instance, I believe every escort makes more money be appearing competent and professional instead of somewhat sketchy. Yeah, it’s more work. But it’s more reward too.) Behind the bias, my underlying concerns are always for the escort’s well-being and success. Safe, sane, successful is the motto for my books and it’s the philosophy I work by as well.

Most of the escort-industry words I use in here were defined in Book 1. If you don’t have that book handy, use Google or context clues. This book doesn’t include a glossary.

When I refer to client I’m referring to male clients unless otherwise stated. They make up the majority of every escort’s clientele.

I wrote this assuming escort work is the escort’s current full-time job. This is not because I think it should be, I’m simply assuming she’s putting the majority of her income-producing energy into this business.

I often use myself for purposes of example. This doesn’t mean I think I’m perfect, nor have I followed every guideline I present in here. But I’d rather point the finger at myself than anyone else (and there’s less chance I’ll sue myself for libel).

Unless specified otherwise, all other examples are made up.

In here, an average escort is an escort whose time minimum is one hour and a high-end escort is one whose time minimum is two or more hours. (Though a number of high-end escorts today have an hour minimum, priced to make their multi-hour appointments more appealing.)

None of the information in here is just for high-end escorts, though some of you may believe so by the rates I toss around. Every escort can benefit immensely from having well-written ads, a professional-looking Web site, professional photos and an image that is consistent in person. She’ll seem to be worth more than she charges (a bargain!) and this could lead to her raising her rates. Even staying at her current rate level, appearing like a confident, assured, professional companion attracts an overall better quality of clientele. Good clients are attracted to quality companions (and are willing to pay for them.)

Using this book as an entry into escort work before reading Book 1 is like trying to decide on window treatments in a new house when the electricity hasn’t even been turned on. This isn’t a naked attempt to sell more copies of Book 1, it’s because I’ve seen way too many escorts worried about their advertising when they really should take a step back and decide if escort work is really where their heart is; or if their boundaries are in the right place to keep them safe and make them happy. Worrying about the right seductive photos on a website when one doesn’t even have a real understanding of STI risks is asking for problems. Without knowing the basics of the job first, an escort can’t expect to truly succeed with marketing/advertising. (Success is more than just making money.)

You may feel much of this is common sense and some of it is. But then, how common is common sense? From my observations – not very. And your idea of common sense might be very different from mine.

Escort work does not require formal education, but certain basics need to be understood first if solid success is to follow.

I believe that arming escorts with knowledge against those who would happily take advantage of them is the best weapon they have in protecting their own interests.

None of what I say is a hard and fast rule but an option.

---

I'm writing this at the very end of 2018. ↵

Originally planned to be a series of four, the final two will not be written, mainly due to SESTA/FOSTA. ↵

I

The 101

Becoming an Escort

If you're curious and over the age of 18

Although I recommend you be over 18 to read this, I think it would be even better if you were over 21.

I only know about the female side of escort work, with male clients, so it’s natural that this is what I’m writing about.

Being a successful escort requires a bit of maturity on the part of the escort. Although girls generally mature faster than boys, maturity still requires some years and some life experience. This information is geared for a woman in her early 20s who lives on her own and has already shown that she can support herself. Having had a few relationships with men is a big plus.

What is escort work?

It’s not automatically the same as prostitution. Prostitution is basically selling sex for money. Escort work is selling time for money. It’s generally a little more complex (one researcher referred to escort work as emotion work). Sex is an option, but not the only one.

The Internet and Escorts

Internet escorts have been getting more and more attention in the media. Thanks to the Internet, women have been given unprecedented control over their business. It’s a boon for clients too, as their personal risk is lowered and they can contact women from all over the world and choose precisely whom they wish to meet.

Entry into the business is as easy as setting up a Web site or placing an online ad. But what then? Finding accurate information on what to do or what to expect is difficult. Few people have written honestly about the business and even fewer have written about it in the last 10 years.

Easy entry also means that there’s less mentoring. Girls end up with inaccurate information or no information at all and they have no one to turn to. That’s no way to make a life-changing decision.

Common Myths

Read 10 common myths about escorts (in PDF form). Escort work, like almost anything in life, is affected by how you approach it. Research, planning and personal reflection will get you pointed in the right direction with minimal fuss and minimal problems. Trial and error works too, but it probably won’t leave you as happy.

Making Money

You’ve seen those Girls — make lots of $$$ ads before, even if you weren’t looking for them. The first thing everyone wants to know about escort work is how much would they be able to make. I can’t tell you that. I can’t even tell you if you’re suitable for the job. It’s a decision you have to make after considering the points below. Even if you decide this is the perfect job for you, your income depends on many factors, such as: appearance, location, projected image, your market, your professionalism and personality. That’s just for starters.

The money can be fast, it can be good, but it is rarely easy.

So…

Even though I had already been stripping before I decided to become an escort, the process of making the decision took a few months. After deciding that I might like to try it, I spent another couple months doing research before making my debut. And then I still had a lot to learn.

But I made few mistakes. I’d spent a lot of time thinking about what I was going to do and that saved me a lot of trouble.

Things to Consider

If you’re not sure that you want to be an escort, use the list below to kickstart the thinking process. Realize that I haven’t even touched on the actual running of your business.

Why do you want to be an escort?

Just wanting to make money isn’t enough of a reason. Wanting a wild adventure isn’t a good reason either. This isn’t always an easy job and your motivation has to be strong enough to sustain you when you have bad days.

Do you have a good support system?

You need to have a few close friends or family members that you can lean on. You need an emotional outlet because this job does not provide it.

Are you a people person?

This is the main requirement of the job; not how you look or how great you think you are in bed.

Is your life in order?

There are plenty of the stereotypical flaky escorts, but they aren’t the ones who make the most money. Nor are they the mentally/emotionally healthiest girls either.

What about your health?

You need to find a gynecologist if you don’t already have one and you need to be open with her. Your health is your future.

How flexible is your schedule?

You need a fairly flexible schedule, especially when starting out. This means childcare, transportation and significant others need to be taken care of long before you get an appointment request. It’s very hard to arrange these things at the last minute.

What are your boundaries?

You need to decide your physical/mental/emotional boundaries before you have your first appointment. These aren’t rigid rules but your own personal guidelines to make your work easier for you. And if you have a significant other, these things must be discussed well in advance of any appointments.

What is your goal?

Like an athlete, you have a shelf life as an escort. You need to decide what your ultimate goal is for this business and what you plan to do when you retire. Even if you have planned your retirement well, it’s not an easy transition to make.

Have you really thought about this?

Being an escort will affect your life; sometimes in surprising ways. Think the decision through.

More Information

If you’re still curious and want to know more about being an escort, then click on the links below.

You may’ve noticed that I have written a book. The Internet Escort’s Handbook Book 1: The Foundation addresses the questions above and much more. It’s part 1 of a 4-part series for Internet escorts — because there is no other reference.

Originally published in 2006

Update 2018

Readers might have noticed that books 3 and 4 never happened.

What The Handbook is Not

If you’ve Googled any phrases like become an escort or learn to be an escort or something along these lines, then you’ve probably come across a couple of pricey e-books aimed at beginning female escorts.

There are several books about being a male escort, both gay and straight. I won’t make comments since that’s not my area of expertise. But I do know that men who want to become escorts in the hopes of having lots of sex with women may not want to quit their day jobs.

I want to talk about what my series is not, especially since you won’t come across this Web site in the paid-inclusion section of Google results.

One of the e-books aimed at educating escorts is written mostly with the view that the reader will want to work with an agency. There’s nothing wrong with that, but a reader who wants to know about becoming an independent escort won’t be able to learn everything she needs to know about running her own business. And, in my opinion, the table of contents gave short shrift to the personal aspects of the business that the escort will encounter.

Personally, I like to know everything I can about running my own business that way I can chose what I want to outsource and what I want to do myself. Having choices gives me power and control. But hey, that’s just how I like to do things.

The other ebook you’re likely to run across talks about earning lots of money with what the author claims to be legal escorting. The author sells separate e-books on being an escort, starting an escort agency and becoming a driver for escorts. Reading through the website will enlighten you.

She promises to reveal how an escort can make $1000 with 10 minutes worth of talk-time. This is all the time necessary to spend with the client and no clothes have to come off (this is what makes it legal, in her opinion). She advises agency-owner wannabes to charge the credit cards of clients before the escort arrives at the door. And I can only assume that the driver in question is there to back up the escort during that oh-so-special 10 minutes she spends with the (probably terrified and/or angry) client.

This woman is selling a system of extortion. There’s nothing else it can be. (She has an article aimed at agency owners and cautions them that if a guy actually calls back to request a certain girl that they’re probably having sex, otherwise he’d never call back.) The fact that she’s so blatantly selling a how-to for wannabe scam-artists makes me wonder if I’d get anything for my money if I ordered one of her books.

My Internet Escort’s Handbook series is not any of the above. I take the business seriously and write about the issues an escort will face with her business. I don’t feel I’m promoting ‘illegal’ escort practices. I discuss how a woman can sell her time coupled with her personality. What happens between consenting adults in their own private space is no one’s business.

I firmly believe that one can run an honest, ethical business and be successful.

Originally published 9/22/06

Update 2018

Today, you’ll run across more how to become an escort resources than the ones mentioned above. Some are very legit, written by other escorts with good intentions. Some seem sketchy with the quality of information they share and their motivations. Always look to see if the information has suggestions to engage in activities that could be harmful to you, harmful to others, or if the author seems exploitative towards the reader.

When you find information you think is biased more in favor of the author making money off of you and not you making money from your business, back away and look for  another resource. Plenty of sex workers happily share their experiences online, freely, and for others to learn from. Others are authors and/or consultants. And still others (often men), are predatory and view sex workers as cash cows.

Do You Want a Consultation?

I’ve recently been asked if I offer consultations. Online gurus (on all topics) offer consultations, so why don’t I?

While it’s fun to think about being paid X amount for a phone call or e-mail, the simple truth is that my subject matter prevents it. While Book 1 was still being edited, I consulted with a media