The Unfinished End: A Quest for Love, Hope and Joy!

By Teresa Hanel

As you overcome, you are as unique and rare as the Emperor Butterfly. You may have started out as an ugly caterpillar and have been reduced to mush, but through your struggle you are being transformed into a beautiful purple butterfly! A unique creation for all to see and enjoy! A Purple Emperor butterfly is native to Europe. It’s a rather

• Language: English
• Publisher: Trilogy Christian Publishing
• Release date: Aug 7, 2020
• ISBN: 9781647730451

Book preview

Disclaimer

All content in this book is completely original; it has not been inspired by nor is it based on any other blog post, magazine article, nor any book, except for the quotes referenced. Therefore, I regret any resemblance with any of the aforementioned and would like to assure you that it was unintentional. This book has been inspired by real events.

Some stories shared in this book may be disturbing to some. It is not my intent to offend anyone who reads this book. If anything written is perceived as hurtful to any community or person, I apologize, but that was not the purpose of any my writing it. My purpose in writing it is to educate and raise awareness of this issue.

The opinions expressed in this book are my own views, and I have based my review on personal experiences and on the experiences of those I interviewed. I also cannot vouch for absoluteness of my suggestions. Use discretion and seek professional counseling in case of any issue. Moreover, this book is not intended as a substitute for the medical advice of physicians or licensed counselors. The reader should regularly consult a physician in matters relating to his or her health and particularly with respect to the symptoms that may require diagnosis or medical attention. I do not recommend any person under medical supervision or in the care of a licensed counselor or social worker to make any changes to their treatment plan without first consulting with their doctor, counselor, or social worker.

Some names and identifying details have been changed to protect the privacy of individuals.

For the Lord Jesus Christ.

He is the one who called me to write this book,

and the one who has kept me all these years.

Contents

Acknowledgments

Foreword

Introduction

Chapter 1: Genine’s Story

Chapter 2: Maggie Jolynn’s Story

Chapter 3: Maggie Jolynn’s Aftermath of Suicide

Chapter 4: Maggie Jolynn’s Reflections

Chapter 5: Interview with Maggie Jolynn

Chapter 6: My Story

Chapter 7: The Problem

Chapter 8: The Battle

Chapter 9: Wheat and Tares

Chapter 10: There Is Always Hope

Chapter 11: Live

Chapter 12: Identity

Chapter 13: Children of God

Chapter 14: Hope

Chapter 15: Next Steps

Chapter 16: Spiritual Side of Suicide Recovery

Epilogue

Bibliography

Acknowledgments

I want to thank Maggie Jolynn. I also want to thank Genine and Nancy for contributing their stories and wisdom.

I would also extend deep appreciation to Dr. Troy and Nancy Reiner, Emma Colbert, Shanda Dunston, and Rose Kaufman for their support, teachings, and wisdom in helping me put this book together. Nancy, thank you so much for the time you took helping me edit.

I also want to thank my parents. Even though I know some of its contents have caused you both pain, you both have contributed to my being able to overcome all that I have had to overcome in this life. Thank you, Dad, for imparting your wisdom, drive, and perseverance to my character. Thank you, Mom, for your love, support, and wisdom that you have imparted to me, sometimes without you even knowing it. Thank you most of all for raising me and teaching me about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ! And so much more that I do not have the ability to put into words. I love you both. Love never fails!

I also want to thank my brother, Roger. What can I say? You have always been an inspiration and a support to me, because you have always had to overcome! Thank you for your example and love. You’re the best brother a sister could have!

Thank you to Rose Kaufman and Shanda Dunston and the rest of the tribe for praying for me through this project.

Thank you to Sue Randolph, Sherri Hess, Nancy Jensen, and all of those who reviewed this book and imparted the valuable feedback I needed to bring this book to the world.

Thank you to all of those who have poured into my life and shared your wisdom, love and joy with me!

I also want to thank those of you who are reading this book. I pray it will bring you hope and peace. Your best days are ahead of you! I pray this book will bring you the revelation you need to overcome whatever circumstances you may find yourself in. God is able to do far more than you can think or imagine!

Foreword

The Bible suggests in Hebrews 5:2 that even Jesus learned compassion by the experiences he suffered here on earth. This is also true concerning this book. Although Teresa, one of our graduates from Word of Life Institute and one of our lay counselors, never revealed her personal struggles with suicide to most people who knew her before writing this book. She wrote this book in the hope that it will be a comfort to others struggling with suicide ideation as she did and provide help for those facing the suicidal death of someone they loved. The stories in this book put flesh and bones on the internal emotional battle before and after suicide. There are few things in life that can be as tragic or damaging to the family and friends of a person who commits suicide! Yet the suicide rate increased 33 percent from 1999 through 2017, from 10.5 to 14 suicides per 100,000 people (NCHS Data Brief No. 330, November 2018).

In discussing the subject of suicide, I would like to consider what could have happened in the life of Judas had he read this book. Could the suggestions provided in this book have saved Judas from suicide, and would Jesus have forgiven and restored him? Would the other disciples have forgiven and accepted him again after he betrayed Jesus right in front of them in the garden? Let us see how Jesus forgave and restored Peter as a model for dealing with suicidal people.

The catalyst of suicide is that the person has given up hope that anything can or will ever change for the good in their current circumstances. Unless it is a threat to manipulate a situation, usually a person will only consider suicide to stop the emotional pain they are experiencing, because they do not see any other way out. Not only Judas, but Peter felt that way. After denying Jesus three times, Peter did not see any future as a disciple of Jesus. He had given up his fishing career, and now he had failed at discipleship! The Bible says that Judas regretted what he had done and at least went to the Jewish leaders to return the thirty pieces of silver that he had been paid to betray Jesus. The Bible does tell us that Peter wept when he realized what he had done, but neither Judas nor Peter were at the cross trying to apologize for what they had done. We do not know where Peter was, but clearly he was not there to provide support Jesus needed during his final hours.

Suicide is a long term solution for a short-term problem. Had Judas not killed himself, I believe that Jesus would have offered him forgiveness as he did for the Roman soldiers who crucified him. Let us see how Jesus dealt with the failure of Peter as a model for helping a suicidal person.

1. Jesus did not wait for Peter to approach Him but reached out to Peter. The angel told Mary Magdalene and the other women to specifically tell Peter Jesus had risen from the dead (Mark 16:7). This showed Peter that Jesus still cared about him, and there was still hope of reconciliation.

2. Jesus did not specifically shame Peter for his fear and denials when he appeared to all the disciples after He arose from the dead (Mark 16:14).

3. Jesus built trust and hope, offering a way out. This is critical. Jesus demonstrated that Peter could trust Jesus, and that by following Jesus’s directions, he could still be a successful disciple. In John 21, Peter had given up his role as a disciple and being a fisher of men. He went back to fishing for fish. Peter even convinced over half of the other disciples to join him. When the disciples had caught nothing all night, Jesus met them at the lake and told them to throw their nets down on the right side. When they followed Jesus directions, they caught 153 large fish and their boat (capability) did not sink and their nets (methods) did not break.

4. Jesus accepted Peter where he was emotionally and offered reconciliation. When Jesus asked Peter if he was totally committed to him (agapeo in the Greek), Peter responded that he was only fond of Jesus (phileo) and admitted he was no longer fully committed to Him. Jesus offered him the job of feeding His lambs. Jesus asked Peter again, and again Peter answered the same way. Then Jesus said, Feed My sheep, which would be even a larger responsibility. Finally, Jesus asked if Peter was only fond of Him (phileo), and Peter agreed that he had given up being fully committed to Him as a disciple. In spite of all this, Jesus reiterated His offer to trust Peter with feeding His sheep and predicted that in the end Peter would be so dedicated to Him, he would even be crucified for Jesus (John 21:15–18).

The sad reality is that had Judas not committed suicide, he would have been forgiven and possibly reconciled just as Peter was. If you are not sure of this, consider that even Paul, an avowed enemy, a persecutor of Christians, and possibly a murderer was forgiven and reconciled and became a great Christian leader like Peter. The disciples that he had previously persecuted even forgave and eventually reconciled with Paul.

In this book, you will find the true gripping stories of two people who experienced the temptations and aftermath of suicide. You will also find what they learned from their traumatic experiences and suggestion on how to effectively deal with this growing epidemic in our society.

Dr. Troy Reiner, LCMFT, LCAC

Director of Word of Life Counseling Center

and Word of Life Counseling Training Institute

and Author of the following books:

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As I thought about the word suicide and the definition of its attributes, it holds the act of intentionally causing one’s own death. Satan has a purpose on earth and that purpose is to rob, kill, and destroy. He does this through our thoughts. If he can control our mind, he will control our actions in life. Proverbs 23:7 says, So as a man thinks so is he. We have to be just as intentional with our thoughts of life instead of death. We all have experienced some form of dysfunction, some more than others. As we look at suicidal dysfunction, whether it was from abuse, depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenic, or personality disorder, I believe suicide stems from a traumatic experience in one’s life as a child. The word says in James 1:15, Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death. Suicide is a sin and is part of the fruits of death. But 1 Corinthians 10:13 says, No temptation has overtaken us such as common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability but will always with the temptation he will also provide a way of escape and that is the way of life.

Approximately 1.5 percent of people die by suicide, meaning roughly twelve per one hundred thousand people completed suicide and more than that attempted suicide. Generally, the highest is among men in the western world. The other attempts are more common among young people and among females. This is staggering! As you read these testimonies, you will find a common thread among their lives that has been affected with the reality of suicide and how they managed to find the way of escape through the power of the Word of God who the Son sets free is free indeed!

I pray that as you open up your heart and as you embark upon this journey of testimonies of freedom, you will find love, hope, and joy while reading the words from this book. You will learn about the signs, the symptoms, risk factors, and warning signs regarding suicide. There are many attempts in society to bring about depression, mental health disorders, family history, substance abuse, family violence including sexual abuse, being in prison, and being exposed to other suicidal behaviors

Freedom is calling you. Will you answer? As you reach deep within the resources inside of you and embrace the Holy Spirit, as these individuals chose to do, the (Holy Spirit) will take you through a metamorphosis and transform you into a beautiful butterfly so that you resemble the image of Christ.

~Shalom~

Apostle Emma Colbert

Founder/president

Safe Haven International Ministries

Introduction

On June 20, 2016, the Lord dropped in my spirit to write a book about suicide, a difficult topic. I know the reason the Lord is prompting me to write about it as I have had my own journey in overcoming this in my life. But there is also another side to this issue that has touched many people in my life as well. The effect that suicide has on the lives of those left behind is very significant.

At the time of starting to write, a friend of mine lost her husband to suicide only three months ago. The depth of this is only dawning upon her and her son he left behind. I’ve known several people throughout my life that have lost someone to suicide. My first recollection is the neighbor who lived next door to us when I was seven or eight years old. Later a husband of a lady in my church committed suicide, leaving her alone and her children fatherless. An ex-cop from New York City was jolly, happy, and full of life and stories. When his granddaughter committed suicide, he was never the same after that day. The loss devastated his spirit.

The consequences of suicide are appalling, because there are so many unanswered questions of those left behind. The tragedy is the unfinished end of a life, which was meant to go on.

I do not suggest