When Business Meets Baby: Practical Tools and Tips for Achieving Balance

By Rachel Allan

How will you balance the roles of business owner and mother? Would you like wisdom from women who’ve been there?

Here’s something you already know. When you become a mother, you want flexibility. You want to be there for your baby, and you want results in your business. You want to make good money, and to make a

• Language: English
• Publisher: CARK enterprises Pty Ltd
• Release date: Nov 5, 2017
• ISBN: 9780995379923

Book preview

Dedication & Thanks

When Business Meets Baby is dedicated to my daughter – my inspiration, my reason for living. Sophie Mary Allan, without you there would be no story to tell.

To my partner in life and business – Craig, thank you for being part of the story.

To Dorothy Krajewski for creating a safe, casual networking group that gave me the inspiration to write.

To Joanne Newell of Rich Life by Design for giving me encouragement and support throughout the publishing process, and for giving me a logical and stress-free path to self-publishing this, my first book. You have helped me to create a book of which I am so very, very proud. Thank you.

To all of the wonderful contributors who have so freely given me their time, and openly shared their stories or allowed me to use quotes from their published work, thank you. To those people who took my manuscript in its raw stage, read it and gave me feedback (Renae Scholte, Nadine Cranenburgh, Theresa Haupt, Rosie Shilo and Renae Martin), thank you – your input has been invaluable.

To my absolute best friend – Eve Fisher. Thank you for providing your expert editorial viewpoint and ensuring that When Business Meets Baby is of the highest editorial standard for readers to enjoy.

To all of the people who have shared my journey, given support unconditionally and shown me that my intuition is valuable, thank you. It all started with my birth angels – Carly Wemyss and Jane Corbet.

To you, who is now reading When Business Meets Baby – thank you for trusting me to provide guidance. My wish for you is that you learn something about yourself, and that you’re inspired to make profound improvements in your business and in your life. To move towards a feeling of balance more quickly than you might otherwise have done. You really are magnificent, and you deserve to have a life and business that you love.

About the Author

Rachel Allan has been a business owner for 12 years, and a mum for 5½ years. On her business-and-baby journey she has learned a lot about life, business and herself. While it has not always been an easy ride, it has definitely been fulfilling. She feels a strong calling to share her discoveries (and the wisdom of other parents and experts) with you in this new book, When Business Meets Baby.

Rachel’s inspiration is her vibrant daughter Sophie, who has her own busy little life with school, dancing and swimming. Rachel is honoured to be Sophie’s mum, and she is also an author, integrated marketer, entrepreneur and property investor. From 2007 she has shared her journey with her business and life partner Craig.

Rachel’s business, Visionary, has evolved from event management to marketing and ebusiness. Visionary is a leading consultancy servicing micro and medium-sized businesses in Ballarat, Geelong and Melbourne. During her pre-business career, Rachel worked in government, small and medium-sized businesses and not-for-profits in both Australia and Scotland.

When not she’s not working in her business, Rachel loves nothing more than hanging out with Sophie, Craig and Lilly (the dog), going camping, and indulging in the latest episode of Outlander (with a glass of wine in hand).

If you would like to discover more about Rachel and the services she offers, visit her at www.whenbusinessmeetsbaby.com.

Rachel’s puppy Lilly, and Sophie

Chapter 1

Introduction

You can be a good mother and still follow your dreams

Welcome to When Business Meets Baby.

Congratulations on your decision to bring a baby into your life. As a business owner, you’re used to taking on challenges, running on adrenalin and pursuing growth, so this whole baby business should be a piece of cake, right? Well, maybe…

It could be that you’re feeling scared and overwhelmed about the changes a baby will bring into your life, and about how its arrival will affect your freedom, your business and your income.

And what if you’re in business and your baby has already arrived? You know that life has changed in a big way, and it will never be the same again. Perhaps you’re floundering, and you’re desperately seeking wisdom that works.

Or perhaps you’re a new mum and you know that you don’t want to return to your J.O.B. – you feel a primal urge to stay at home with your baby and to seek self-expression, income and flexibility by starting a business of your own.

No matter what stage you’re at on your business-and-baby journey, this book will light your path to success – success that’s on your terms. You really can create a life of joy, fulfilment and balance.

You have the power

How would you feel if you could successfully balance the various areas of your life? If you felt empowered to find your own unique balance? If you had practical tools and tips to help you make choices and decisions that are right for you? What if today was the first day on your journey to becoming both a successful business owner and a present mum, and this book was your guide?

You really do have the freedom to make your own choices. The decisions you make, the paths you take, your attitude to your world… all of them are of your own choosing. You can feel empowered and strengthened by the choices that you make. When you truly realise that you have that freedom of choice, you can decide to have balance in your life – to enjoy being in business and to enjoy raising children. To understand that you are growing as a person by embodying both roles.

Having to make decisions that affect both your baby and yourself can often feel overwhelming. Instead of feeling overwhelmed, seek advice and information as needed, trust in your intuition, and know that you’re doing the best you can to make choices that work for you and your family.

It’s any wonder we feel conflicted…

In many western countries, you often start your journey into motherhood not being empowered to make your own decisions. In my experience, disempowerment begins when you are pregnant and enter the hospital system. In Australia, this system does not allow for mothers to be empowered by the experience of pregnancy and birth. However, I made a conscious choice to be empowered, and birthing was consequently one of the most wonderful experiences I have ever had. At all times I felt informed and in control of the decisions I was making. I recognised the hospital system for what it was – a system with processes that I was travelling through. Throughout this book, I’ll share more about the approach that I took, so that you can see that there is an alternative way that could also work for you.

Although women once birthed in nature, surrounded by other women who supported them, we are now expected to give birth in hospitals, surrounded by highly qualified doctors and supported by drugs and machines. In most hospitals, a lack of continuity of care means a mother can see many midwives on her journey and, in turn, midwives see many mothers. A bond cannot be established. It was this realisation that led me to using a doula on my own birth journey, so that I could be prepared, supported and empowered.

Also, the birth of a baby may have both parents questioning their values and their ability to be a provider. If a mother has felt disempowered by birth, this feeling may continue into her new role as mother. Moving forward may be difficult, and she may question her ability to do anything.

Parents are generally not nurtured in their new roles. For example, mothers’ groups (which are groups created – in some Australian states – by maternal and child health service providers, connecting new mothers who live in the same district) try to provide support, but often fail do so. There are few groups for fathers. Social media does not help. The strength I gained from carrying, growing and birthing my baby girl soon disappeared as the sleep deprivation, feeding problems, hormonal changes and stress of getting back to business took over. Add peer pressure and judgement to the mix, and you can see how emotional issues can develop quickly.

Hormonal changes may mean that you think differently to the way you did before baby came along. Many new mums feel such unconditional love for their baby that it affects their entire outlook on life. When you feel that way, you give your baby all your energy, even your reserved energy. You think about life and business so differently. Your priorities change. Your lifestyle changes. Your relationships with family and friends alter. The dynamic of your life shifts.

Society has re-created the role of mother to be something we cannot aspire to. The role of mother has become confused. We are told that we can have it all; however, after our baby is born, many of us want to make the role of mother our priority. We give our baby everything. At the same time, as business owners we are conflicted; we think that we cannot put the brakes on our business. Here’s something to think about: Could we, in fact, create support communities that meet our innate mothering instinct as well as our desire to grow a business? Could we put our business in maintenance mode when our baby is a newborn, making choices about how much time and energy we commit?

In cultures where children are raised in villages, everyone in the community has a role and understands their contribution. Mothers are given parenting advice based on generations of experience. They are supported and not judged. They are also given time for self-care, for post-birth recovery and more. A mother raising her child in the modern world does not (usually) have the support available for proper self-care. Mothers also do not prioritise making time for themselves, and all of these factors can lead to an increase in medical intervention and mental illness.

We are living in increasingly enlightened times. We need to take the opportunity to learn from our parents, our grandparents, and generations further back. We need to look to the future, to make it better for our children, our grandchildren, and generations after that.

A fresh perspective

We’ve been conditioned to think that we need to go with the status quo. What if you could embrace a new way of thinking? And to make that new way of thinking a part of you and your everyday life? To believe that you could enjoy your life as a business owner and as a new mum? To be empowered to be the strong woman that you are? To be a role model for your children, and for your husband or partner? To make the choice to live a life that is right for you and your family?

Are you willing to think differently? To remove yourself from the busyness of life, even if just for five minutes a day, to slow the mind and enable balance in your world? To give yourself strength and power, even if no-one else recognises that you might need some? Could a fresh perspective help you to address, or remove, the things in your life that drain you and take you away from what is important?

If you’re a business owner with a new baby, and you realise that your business is the reason you are not being present with your baby and partner, how would you feel if you were given permission to change your approach to business so that you could be? Your babies will grow up, with or without you. However, your business growth is totally in your hands. Will you feel more guilty for not spending time playing with your children or for not taking the next big business opportunity? What is important to you? Or, if your baby and your business are equally important, how could you manage both in a way that works for you?

Life will not always be roses and chocolates, sunshine and happiness. There will be times when you feel like you are in a pressure cooker, feeling as though life is becoming unbalanced (in fact, in this book I devote an entire chapter, called The Pressure-Cooker Effect, to this phenomenon). Your business may demand more time from you, or your children may demand more time from you. It could be that you feel the pressure-cooker effect as you go about implementing the long-term vision you have for both your business and life, but there are ways in which you can manage yourself when you feel this way, to ensure that the pressure exists for just a moment in time.

Let’s question the modern notion that we have to go it alone. It’s just not natural to be at home on your own with a baby all day, without support. You can experience the benefits of village life by finding your support community (see the chapter called Building a Support Community for how to do just that) – and nurturing that community. You can learn to ask for help within your wider community. Allow yourself to receive support, and to flourish in every area of life.

Here’s something else to consider: Do you believe that it is actually possible to find a balance between business, life and self-care? Could you find balance in your life if you let go of expectations from society? If you defined what balance meant to you and your family? What would your balanced life look like? Should this be seen as a selfish act, surrounded by guilt?

Let go of the guilt

Guilt is an emotion many mothers will have – over and over again. Guilt for implementing self-care. Guilt for handing their babies over to someone else to look after. Guilt for not giving their child everything that the perfect mother on social media appears to be giving to hers. Guilt for working. Guilt for not working. Imagine living in a world where we were not judged on our choices. A world where you could feel free to make the best choices for you and your family. What if we just focused on our own parenting style and got on with it, all while giving support to others?

You will not be a mother to a newborn, infant or toddler forever. When you do choose to plug back into your business, imagine that your baby is happy, your house is organised, you are healthy, and you are ready – and you experience no feelings of guilt.

Embracing a new identity

Before you were a mother, you had a certain identity. Sometimes, people choose to change who they are – others have the change presented to them. In this case it’s in the form of a newborn baby. This is when you instantly become mother. The transition is seamless for those who are ready to embrace their new role, but others find it hard to leave behind their main identity of being a hardworking, respected business owner. If you’re grappling with the issue of identity, what if you could take your new nurturing self, the mother, and blend it with your pre-baby self, in order to create a new identity who can successfully balance both business and baby – and choosing to do it your way? (See the chapter called The Role of Mother for a great discussion of this topic.)

What if you completely accepted and enjoyed the new person you had become? If you had amazing systems in your house and your business, ensuring that you could maintain balance? What if you could still head towards the same business goals that you had pre-baby, by finding a different path to reach the amazing results that you deserve? It may be that your path to those goals is a longer one; however, taking a longer path means that you are able to spend more time with your children now. Or it may be that your mini-goals change in nature at this baby stage, while still moving you towards your overall business goals. For example, you may choose to delegate more in order to grow the business with less hands-on involvement from you.

Consider this: What if, by making the choice to make small changes in your world, you made a bigger impact in your business, and you could still be mother? A present, centred mother? Able to switch between all of your roles seamlessly? What if you gave it a go? Imagine opening your mind to a world that has no judgements. No guilt. Lower levels of pressure, stress or anxiety. A world where you have the freedom to choose your actions.

Be warned, though – just when you think you have it all together, things will change. Change is inevitable anyway because your baby is growing and developing. Embrace the changes, and alter your processes and systems at work and at home. Maintain balance. Take time for self-care.

Be the brave woman who took a leap of faith and started a business. Be the strong, empowered woman who grew and birthed a baby. Allow balance into your life. Allow joy and happiness. See how success will follow.

Your trusted guide

When Business Meets Baby provides you with a non-judgemental space in which to reflect – while reading, take the opportunity to rethink your life (perhaps pondering the ask yourself questions found in many chapters). Choose to be kinder to