Black Clouds to Sunshine

By Carole Lonsdale

These poems are the author’s way of expressing her feelings and thoughts, and a way of coping with mental illness experienced by herself and her family. By putting her thoughts into poems, some sad and some funny, it gives her a sense of belief.
She hopes this experiment of hers will help others out there, knowing there is a way to relieve the pressure of anxiety by putting pen to paper and writing about those pent-up thoughts.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Austin Macauley Publishers
• Release date: Mar 31, 2021
• ISBN: 9781398400078

Carole Lonsdale

The poems that have been written resonate with mental health, illness, and coping with bereavement, which many people will relate to. Writing these poems has been a release for me, the author, to put all my innermost thoughts into poetry, and I hope they will receive an understanding from many.

Book preview

Black Clouds

to Sunshine

Carole Lonsdale

Austin Macauley Publishers

Black Clouds to Sunshine

About the Author

Dedication

Copyright Information ©

Acknowledgement

He Never Should Have Died

Help, Help, Help

Panic Attack

Mood Swings

Demons

Disabled

The Joker

Cry for Help

The Storm

Depression

The Breakdown

Thoughts

Fathers for Justice

The Job Centre

The Alcoholic

Words

Maisy

My Day as an Extra

Face of a Clown

The Cider Farm

The Stepfather

The School Bully

The Child

Chronic Fatigue Syndrome

Teenager

Angels

Dementia

Life Cycle

The Year Ahead

War

The Poems

Gold Market

Supermarket Run

Life

The Scales

Mobile Phone

The Nursing Home

The Dreaded School Run

The Computer Class

The Millionaire

On the Other Side of the Street

Retirement

The Good Old Days

A Piece of Paper

The Grave Digger

The Lonely Man

No Rights

The Office Party

The Bus Journey

The Cottage Garden

The Con Man

Dining Out

The Chiropractor

The Holiday

Patience

The Cruise

The Living Graveyard

Washing Day

Dining Out

The Jeweller’s Window

The Seagull

Night Sky

The Candy Shop

Car Crash

The M.O.T.

The Red Shoe

The Blockage

The Driving Test

Reflection

Why

The Bargain

Cupcakes

Recycling

A Hole in the Ceiling

Lotto

The Fairground

The Girls

Age

The Affair

The Diet

Grandchildren

The Rose

Autumn

Frost

Spring Lambs

Scrumping

Broken Trust

Sock Fetish

The Big Sin

Spring

The Gang

The Plane Journey

Shops Closing at a Rapid Pace

Lonely Lady

The Doctor’s Surgery

The Dentist

Fate

The Earth

The Holiday

The Hairdresser

The Accident Book

The Cane

The Teeth

Car Nightmare

The Coffee Break

Safe at Last

Tantrums

Cheryl Ann

About the Author

Born in Solihull, West Midlands, to a Scottish mother and English father, the author recalls being taken to Scotland to stay with her nana as a child. Her father was captured at Arnhem and taken to a prisoner-of-war camp where he was held for nine months. When he was released, he made his way back to England and was sent to recoup in a hospital in Wales. The author was brought back to England to start school at five years of age.

In her later years, she trained as a hairdresser, got married, had two children, both with a very rare condition that has no cure. Her son passed away after experiencing years of mental health issues through panic and anxiety attacks.

This is why mental health, to her, is so important!

Dedication

This is dedicated to my son, Darren, who passed away in March 2018 due to mental health disorder from panic attacks and anxiety, also the rare condition episodic ataxia type 1 that our daughter and grandchildren also suffer with. He inspired me to write through his sense of humour and to bring to notice an acknowledgment of mental health issues.

Copyright Information ©

Carole Lonsdale (2021)

The right of Carole Lonsdale to be identified as author of this work has been asserted by the author in accordance with section 77 and 78 of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the prior permission of the publishers.

Any person who commits any unauthorised act in relation to this publication may be liable to criminal prosecution and civil claims for damages.

A CIP catalogue record for this title is available from the British Library.

ISBN 9781398400870 (Paperback)

ISBN 9781398419094 (Hardback)

ISBN 9781398400078 (ePub e-book)

www.austinmacauley.com

First Published (2021)

Austin Macauley Publishers Ltd

25 Canada Square

Canary Wharf

London

E14 5LQ

Acknowledgement

I would like to thank Austin Macauley Publishers for having faith in me and giving me a chance.

He Never Should Have Died

Mental health, anxiety, panic attacks are a cross to bear

Cries for help no one listens, support systems too busy to care

Ten years of hell, trying to be normal, till a panic attack

Takes control, can’t breathe, don’t know where to turn, feels like a deep black hole

Doctors, counselling, hypnosis did not help to calm the pain

Even with the love of his family, and dogs, the panics attacked time and time again

Then on that fatal morning, the weather was the beast from the east

He was out in the snow with his dogs, a final panic attack took over

But God bless him, our son is now at peace.

Help, Help, Help

How many more lives have to be torn apart

Deaths from ANXIETY, PANIC ATTACKS, ALCOHOL,

no help from the start

Weeks of waiting to see the G.P.

Help falls back to be put in place by the family

Then