A Confession
By Leo Tolstoi
()
About this ebook
Leo Tolstoi
Leo Tolstoy was born in 1828 in Tula, near Moscow. His parents, who both died when he was young, belonged to the Russian nobility, and to the end of his life Tolstoy remained conscious of his aristocratic status. His novels, ‘War and Peace’ and ‘Anna Karenina’ are literary classics and he is revered as one of the greatest writers of the nineteenth century. He died in 1910 at the age of 82.
Read more from Leo Tolstoi
LEO TOLSTOY – The Ultimate Short Stories Collection: 120+ Titles in One Volume (World Classics Series): The Kreutzer Sonata, The Forged Coupon, Hadji Murad, Alyosha the Pot, Master and Man, Father Sergius, Diary of a Lunatic, The Cossacks, My Dream, The Young Tsar, Fables and Stories for Children... Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5A Calendar of Wisdom: Daily Thoughts to Nourish the Soul, Written and Se Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/550 Great Love Letters You Have To Read (Golden Deer Classics) Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Death of Ivan Ilyich Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Following the Call: Living the Sermon on the Mount Together Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5War and Peace Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5What is Art? Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Wise Thoughts for Every Day: On God, Love, the Human Spirit, and Living a Good Life Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5A Confession Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5War and Peace : Complete and Unabridged Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5A Confession and Other Religious Writings Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Christmas Library: 250+ Essential Christmas Novels, Poems, Carols, Short Stories...by 100+ Authors Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Tolstoy's Stories for Children Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Death of Ivan Ilych (Complete Version, Best Navigation, Active TOC) (A to Z Classics) Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Greatest Christmas Stories of All Time: Timeless Classics That Celebrate the Season Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Gospel in Brief: The Life of Jesus Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Master and Man Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/550 Beautiful Christmas Stories Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThoughtful Wisdom for Every Day: 365 Days of Love, Kindness, Healing, Faith, and Peace Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsBig Book of Christmas Tales: 250+ Short Stories, Fairytales and Holiday Myths & Legends Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsBEST RUSSIAN SHORT STORIES Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Gospel in Tolstoy: Selections from His Short Stories, Spiritual Writings & Novels Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5
Related to A Confession
Titles in the series (100)
The Last Day of a Condemned Man Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsSota ja rauha 1 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsIvanhoe Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMay Night, or the Drowned Maiden Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsCollected Stories Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsSota ja rauha 4 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMarit Skjölte Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsKonovalov Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Nose Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Red and the Black Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsDr. Ox's Experiment Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsEmmalan Elli Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsRedgauntlet II Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsSota ja rauha 2 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsPerthin kaupungin kaunotar Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Inspector General Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsBaseball Joe of the Silver Stars Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsDead Souls Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMartin Paz Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Prisoner in the Caucassus Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsHeleena Wrede Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsPikku Eyolf Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsPieni runotyttö Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsSota ja rauha 3 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsQuentin Durward Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsFruitfulness Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsDavid Copperfield Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsKun rauhan mies sotaa kävi Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsRedgauntlet I Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsCharlotte Löwensköld Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings
Related ebooks
A Confession Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Notes from the Underground Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsResurrection Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Possessed Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Crime and Punishment Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Brothers Karamazov Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Idiot Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Red and the Black Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsNOTES FROM UNDERGROUND: The Unabridged Garnett Translation Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Grand Inquisitor Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Fathers and Children Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Devils Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsPoor Folk Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Wisdom of Leo Tolstoy Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsBobok Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Adolescent Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Ralph Waldo Emerson: Quotes & Facts Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe House of the Dead Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThus Spake Zarathustra: A Book for All and None Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Seven Pillars of Wisdom Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Demons Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsCrime and Punishment Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Gambler Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Pensées Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Great Short Works of Herman Melville Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Short Stories Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Prince of the Marshes: And Other Occupational Hazards of a Year in Iraq Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Happy Failure: Stories Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Father Sergius Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Cossacks Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings
Biography & Memoir For You
Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: the heartfelt, funny memoir by a New York Times bestselling therapist Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5A Stolen Life: A Memoir Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Meditations: Complete and Unabridged Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Becoming Bulletproof: Protect Yourself, Read People, Influence Situations, and Live Fearlessly Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, HER Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Good Neighbor: The Life and Work of Fred Rogers Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Why Fish Don't Exist: A Story of Loss, Love, and the Hidden Order of Life Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5A Billion Years: My Escape From a Life in the Highest Ranks of Scientology Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Diary of a Young Girl Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Seven Pillars of Wisdom: A Triumph Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Indifferent Stars Above: The Harrowing Saga of the Donner Party Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Finding Freedom: Harry and Meghan and the Making of a Modern Royal Family Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5I'll Be Gone in the Dark: One Woman's Obsessive Search for the Golden State Killer Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Just Mercy: a story of justice and redemption Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Good Girls Don't Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Taste: My Life Through Food Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Mommie Dearest Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Seven Pillars of Wisdom (Rediscovered Books): A Triumph Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Jack Reacher Reading Order: The Complete Lee Child’s Reading List Of Jack Reacher Series Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Red Notice: A True Story of High Finance, Murder, and One Man's Fight for Justice Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Disloyal: A Memoir: The True Story of the Former Personal Attorney to President Donald J. Trump Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Working Stiff: Two Years, 262 Bodies, and the Making of a Medical Examiner Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Alive: The Story of the Andes Survivors Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5South to America: A Journey Below the Mason-Dixon to Understand the Soul of a Nation Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5People, Places, Things: My Human Landmarks Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Solace of Open Spaces: Essays Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Disorganized Mind: Coaching Your ADHD Brain to Take Control of Your Time, Tasks, and Talents Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5The Boy Who Harnessed the Wind: Creating Currents of Electricity and Hope Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5
Related categories
Reviews for A Confession
0 ratings0 reviews
Book preview
A Confession - Leo Tolstoi
I
I was baptized and brought up in the Orthodox Christian faith. I was taught it in childhood and throughout my boyhood and youth. But when I abandoned the second course of the university at the age of eighteen I no longer believed any of the things I had been taught.
Judging by certain memories, I never seriously believed them, but had merely relied on what I was taught and on what was professed by the grown-up people around me, and that reliance was very unstable.
I remember that before I was eleven a grammar school pupil, Vladimir Milyutin (long since dead), visited us one Sunday and announced as the latest novelty a discovery made at his school. This discovery was that there is no God and that all we are taught about Him is a mere invention (this was in 1838). I remember how interested my elder brothers were in this information. They called me to their council and we all, I remember, became very animated, and accepted it as something very interesting and quite possible.
I remember also that when my elder brother, Dmitriy, who was then at the university, suddenly, in the passionate way natural to him, devoted himself to religion and began to attend all the Church services, to fast and to lead a pure and moral life, we all -- even our elders -- unceasingly held him up to ridicule and for some unknown reason called him Noah
. I remember that Musin-Pushkin, the then Curator of Kazan University, when inviting us to dance at his home, ironically persuaded my brother (who was declining the invitation) by the argument that even David danced before the Ark. I sympathized with these jokes made by my elders, and drew from them the conclusion that though it is necessary to learn the catechism and go to church, one must not take such things too seriously. I remember also that I read Voltaire when I was very young, and that his raillery, far from shocking me, amused me very much.
My lapse from faith occurred as is usual among people on our level of education. In most cases, I think, it happens thus: a man lives like everybody else, on the basis of principles not merely having nothing in common with religious doctrine, but generally opposed to it; religious doctrine does not play a part in life, in intercourse with others it is never encountered, and in a man's own life he never has to reckon with it. Religious doctrine is professed far away from life and independently of it. If it is encountered, it is only as an external phenomenon disconnected from life.
Then as now, it was and is quite impossible to judge by a man's life and conduct whether he is a believer or not. If there be a difference between a man who publicly professes orthodoxy and one who denies it, the difference is not in favor of the former. Then as now, the public profession and confession of orthodoxy was chiefly met with among people who were dull and cruel and who considered themselves very important. Ability, honesty, reliability, good-nature and moral conduct, were often met with among unbelievers.
The schools teach the catechism and send the pupils to church, and government officials must produce certificates of having received communion. But a man of our circle who has finished his education and is not in the government service may even now (and formerly it was still easier for him to do so) live for ten or twenty years without once remembering that he is living among Christians and is himself reckoned a member of the orthodox Christian Church.
So that, now as formerly, religious doctrine, accepted on trust and supported by external pressure, thaws away gradually under the influence of knowledge and experience of life which conflict with it, and a man very often lives on, imagining that he still holds intact the religious doctrine imparted to him in childhood whereas in fact not a trace of it remains.
S., a clever and truthful man, once told me the story of how he ceased to believe. On a hunting expedition, when he was already twenty-six, he once, at the place where they put up for the night, knelt down in the evening to pray -- a habit retained from childhood. His elder brother, who was at the hunt with him, was lying on some hay and watching him. When S. had finished and was settling down for the night, his brother said to him: So you still do that?
They said nothing more to one another. But from that day S. ceased to say his prayers or go to church. And now he has not prayed, received communion, or gone to church, for thirty years. And this not because he knows his brother's convictions and has joined him in them, nor because he has decided anything in his own soul, but simply because the word spoken by his brother was like the push of a finger on a wall that was ready to fall by its own weight. The word only showed that where he thought there was faith, in reality there had long been an empty space, and that therefore the utterance of words and the making of signs of the cross and genuflections while praying were quite senseless actions. Becoming conscious of their senselessness he could not continue them.
So it has been and is, I think, with the great majority of people. I am speaking of people of our educational level who are sincere with themselves, and not of those who make the profession of faith a means of attaining worldly aims. (Such people are the most fundamental infidels, for if faith is for them a means of attaining any worldly aims, then certainly it is not faith.) these people of our education are so placed that the light of knowledge and life has caused an artificial erection to melt away, and they have either already noticed this and swept its place clear, or they have not yet noticed it.
The religious doctrine taught me from childhood disappeared in me as in others, but with this difference, that as from the age of fifteen I began to read philosophical works, my rejection of the doctrine became a conscious one at a very early age. From the time I was sixteen I ceased to say my prayers and ceased to go to church or to fast of my own volition. I did not believe what had been taught me in childhood but I believed in something. What it was I believed in I could not at all have said. I believed in a God, or rather I did not deny God -- but I could not have said what sort of God. Neither did I deny Christ and his teaching, but what his teaching consisted in I again could not have said.
Looking back on that time, I now see clearly that my faith -- my only real faith -- that which apart from my animal instincts gave impulse to my life -- was a belief in perfecting myself. But in what this perfecting consisted and what its object was, I could not have said. I tried to perfect myself mentally -- I studied everything I could, anything life threw in my way; I tried to perfect my will, I drew up rules I tried to follow; I perfected myself physically, cultivating my strength and agility by all sorts of exercises, and accustoming myself to endurance and patience by all kinds of privations. And all this I considered to be the pursuit of perfection. the beginning of it all was of course moral perfection, but that was soon replaced by perfection in general: by the desire to be better not in my own eyes or those of God but in the eyes of other people. And very soon this effort again