Pride and Pregnancy: An MM Mpreg Romance

By Crista Crown

Wedding planner Eliot can't help but believe that every wedding he creates will end in true love, even though statistics are against him. That's what keeps him going—through the bridezillas, missing caterers, and difficult wedding parties.

Darcy doesn't believe in true love. He hardly believes in friendship. He sees weddings as a waste of time and energy, and has no problem saying so... right in front of a Eliot at a wedding he planned.

That should have been their one and only meeting... but Eliot's sister and Darcy's best friend are falling each other, throwing the two against each other over and over, until simmering passions bubble over into one hot, unexpected night, ending in an unexpected pregnancy.

Eliot doesn’t want to tell Darcy... but he can't hide it either. How can he reconcile his desire to never see Darcy again with his moral responsibility toward his unborn child?

Pride and Pregnancy is an MPREG Pride and Prejudice retelling. Be prepared for family shenanigans, strange wedding customs, and hot, adult scenes you won’t find in the original! 18+ readers only, please! (I don’t want your mom coming after me!)

• Language: English
• Publisher: Wild Empire Publishing
• Release date: Mar 22, 2021
• ISBN: 9781005335724

Crista Crown

Crista Crown grew up in the middle of the woods in a log cabin her father built. She's always found animals to be better company than humans, and finds that shifters combine the best of both worlds! She writes MM and mpreg romance and loves every minute of it.

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Pride and Pregnancy by Crista Crown

© 2018 Crista Crown

All rights reserved.

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This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, businesses, companies, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

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Cover design by Ana J. Phoenix

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Pride and Pregnancy

An MPREG Romance

Crista Crown

Contents

It is a truth universally acknowledged

Weddings Schmeddings

Insult and Injury

A Different World

What is real?

Boiler Drama

Clubbing Days of Yore

Reception Hell

What’s in a text?

Ideal Clients Are Not Ideal

Dinner of Souls

Breakfast of Fools

Awake and Alone

A Bridezilla Already

In My Opinion

It’ll Take A Miracle

Not That Kind of Miracle!

Grumps Are Unappealing

Darcy to the Rescue

Gina Under Fire

Engagement Party Time

Confessions Over

Morning After Blues

Bit Overdressed

Funding and Finding

Dinner Party for Three

What Happens in Vegas

Revenge

Loneliest of Days and Weeks

I Would Fly A Thousand Miles

A Wedding of Dismay

Laboring Under a False Impression

Into the World

Epilogue

Author’s Note

More by Crista Crown

About Crista Crown

It is a truth universally acknowledged

Eliot

Every wedding needs a good luck spider, Eliot's mother said. Eliot took a deep breath, muttering a prayer for patience to the universe. His mother was an excellent florist—the best in Meryville—but after thirty years in the business, she'd developed some strange opinions about what made a good ceremony. Sometimes he considered suggesting another florist to his clients, but unless their hearts were set on someone specific, he couldn’t justify recommending anyone other than his mother.

The couple doesn't want a spider hiding in their floral arrangements, Eliot tried to explain patiently, again.

His mother completely ignored him. I'll just hide it in the centerpiece. They won't even see it.

Eliot bit his tongue. As soon as her attention moved, he'd remove it before the bride saw it and lost her shit for the fourth time that morning. He'd known Gretchen was going to be a handful—she had been a bridezilla from the start—but that was part of the wedding planning business, and Brightside Weddings was his baby. Even with the prevalence of divorce these days, every couple wanted to believe that this was going to be their only wedding—and Eliot couldn't help but believe it, too. Even when working with someone on their second or third wedding, he couldn't shake his perpetual hope that this would finally be the one for his clients.

Eliot's business partner and best friend, Charlie, picked the perfect moment to ask Eliot's mother for the groomsmen's corsages. Mrs. Bennett gave the plastic spider a little tap, pushing it further into the centerpiece, before following.

You know, spiders are actually considered good luck for weddings in England. Eliot's sister Jane, not a partner in the company but his essential right hand, came up beside him, carrying the giant clipboard of checklists they used for every wedding.

Eliot pinched the cheap plastic spider out of the arrangement and dropped it on Jane's clipboard. It didn't even look real. It was one of those plain black ones you could buy in bulk for a few dollars around Halloween. Real spiders. If found on a wedding dress. And is that still even a thing people believe? She found it on some random website. At least she's stopped adding sugar cubes to everyone's bouquets after she got bitched out about that bride being diabetic.

That had been before Eliot had gotten into the business, thankfully. But he hadn't managed to get her to shake the spider thing. The ironic thing was, if his mom were to run into a real spider at a wedding? She'd lose her ever-loving mind.

So how are we doing?

Jane tucked the spider into her jacket pocket and consulted her clipboard. The cake is here. The photographer is getting started on the pre-ceremony shots. The bride and bridesmaids are on their way; they've just finished up at the stylist. So far, no big upsets.

What Jane said was true, regardless of the bride’s four blistering rants this morning. Everything she’d been upset about had been minor, more a problem in her mind than reality.

Eliot chewed on his bottom lip as he surveyed the room. They'd arrived early to decorate, at four in the morning, but everything was complete. The venue had strict rules about when they could be on the premise, when they could start decorating, and when vendors could arrive. It wasn't the worst place they'd worked, but it wasn't the easiest either.

Stop worrying, Jane admonished. Nothing is going to go wrong.

Something always goes wrong, Eliot disagreed. I just prefer that it happens early enough that I can fix it.

What about the Wilton-Hayes wedding? Nothing went wrong there.

Eliot gave her an incredulous look. The father of the bride showed up an hour before the ceremony, drunk as a skunk, and I had to babysit him in a spare room and force him to drink bottle after bottle of water, just so he would be sober enough to stand and walk her down the aisle.

Jane frowned. He was drunk? I just thought he had a medical condition.

He did. Alcoholism.

What about the Storey-Loftis wedding?

The photos were delayed because the best man and maid of honor were having sex in the restroom.

The Avery-Carver wedding?

The caterer went into preterm labor while unloading the truck.

Jane's mouth was open in astonishment. How did I never notice any of this?

Eliot tossed his head, propping a hand on his hip and lifting his chin proudly. I'm just that good.

Jane punched his shoulder, laughing. You're the king of wedding planning.

Co-king, Charlie said as he came into the room. This is a partnership, after all. Is the bride here yet?

Jane checked her phone. Five minutes.

Perfect. The photographer is all done with the guys, so she'll have a little time to breathe before the next set of photos.

Everything was flowing smoothly, which was only fueling Eliot's anxiety. He wouldn't feel better until something went wrong. Charlie and Jane thought he was a little crazy, but he had yet to be proven wrong. He'd tried to force something small to go wrong at couple of weddings, things that had easy fixes, but it didn't work. Both times, something catastrophic had gone wrong later on—the caterer going into labor had been one of them. But if something could just naturally go a little wrong early on—like one of the bridesmaids losing an earring—Eliot could fix it, and then trust that the rest of the wedding was going to go smoothly.

The crisis came soon enough. Not ten minutes after the bride's arrival, Jane came to find him, practically tip-toeing in her flats the way she did whenever she was particularly stressed.

What's wrong? Eliot asked before she could open her mouth. He started marching toward the door, and Jane flipped around and scurried to his side.

There's an issue with the dress.

Stained? Torn?

Jane opened the door to the bridal prep room, and the screeching voice of the mother of the bride told Eliot everything he needed to know.

I told you not to eat that creme brulee last night. Or the rice. You've always been fat. You'd think you could manage to ignore your stomach for once, just once, but no. What do you think Kent will think when he sees you with that disgusting gape of flesh? Do you think he wants to marry a fat cow?

The bride was doing her best to keep from crying, and the bridesmaids and photographer stood around her in shocked uncertainty, clearly uncomfortable with the bride's mother’s words, but not standing up to her.

Get Charlie, Eliot told Jane before stepping into the fray.

In all of his previous interactions with the bride and her family, the bride had been the most critical person, while her mother sat quietly, never offering an opinion unless it was asked for. The mother had been the last person Eliot had expected to cause an issue. And no matter how much of a pain Gretchen had been during the planning of the wedding, she absolutely did not deserve to be made to feel like shit on her wedding day—especially by her mother.

What is the problem? Eliot asked, hoping that the simple reminder that she had an audience would make the woman calm down.

No such luck.

Look at this. The mom spun the bride around, revealing the corseted back of the dress. A thin sliver of skin peaked out from behind the small strip of fabric that was supposed to protect the skin behind the corseting. The dress fit perfectly two weeks ago. I warned Gretchen about her diet. No sweets. No gassy foods. This is the most important day of her life and she messed it up. I knew she would, but you always hope for better from your children.

Eliot’s anger built with every word spewing from the woman’s mouth. Out, he snapped. The bridesmaids and photographer took the command quickly, scurrying out. He'd meant it for the mother, but this would work fine. This is unacceptable.

You don't have to tell me. I knew she was going to screw this up, but I’m an optimist at heart. I kept my mouth shut, thinking everything would work out. The world has disappointed me again. She sighed heavily.

No, Eliot said firmly. You are being unacceptable. This is not your day. It is Gretchen's, and you are destroying it.

The woman's mouth dropped open. Excuse me, young man. You can't talk to me like that. Where's your manager? I'll have you fired.

Righteous glee rose inside Eliot. He'd prefer that every wedding went smoothly, that he never had to deal with people like this, but it was inevitable given the industry, and he took deep pleasure in putting them in their place. I am my boss. I'll be happy to record your complaints and discard them.

The woman's skin was turning an unbecoming shade of red. You may leave then. We no longer require your services.

Eliot suppressed the smile that threatened to rise. I don't work for you. I work for Gretchen. And until she tells me my services aren't required, I won't be leaving. You, however, will. You are excused from preparations and will not be needed until family pictures. Charlie knocked discreetly at the door and stepped in. Charlie will escort you to the refreshments, and we will let you know when your presence is needed.

You can't kick me out! the woman protested, but her feet moved as Charlie expertly guided her to the door with a firm grip on her arms. Gretchen! Gretchen! Tell this man to unhand me.

Gretchen's expression was uncertain, but since she didn't protest, Eliot didn't tell Charlie to stop.

Jane slipped in as the protests faded down the hall. She set down a large tackle box with a thump and closed the door on the curious eyes of the bridesmaids in the hallway.

You're alright, Eliot assured Gretchen. This is your week—your day—to celebrate, and there isn't anything wrong with enjoying food.

But the dress... Gretchen sniffed.

Jane handed me a makeup blotter and Eliot dabbed at the moisture escaping Gretchen's eyes.

The dress will be just fine. You're not the first bride to have a sizing mishap on her wedding day. But there's a reason you hired us—we come prepared.

Jane laid out the emergency swatches of fabric and lace on the table.

All we have to do is find one that matches, and then you'll be good to go. We'll tuck it in, and no one will know any better other than us.

Gretchen sniffed. Are you sure?

Eliot felt badly for any negative thoughts he’d had about Gretchen up to this point. What must life had been like growing up under that awful woman? He couldn’t blame her for fighting tooth and nail for what she wanted on her wedding day. Absolutely positive. Now how do you feel about letting the others in to help?

Not my mother, though, right? Her fragile voice nearly broke Eliot's heart.

Not your mother.

Gretchen took a deep breath and nodded.

Jane will help you get all set, okay?

Eliot let the other women back in, and they pretended that they hadn't just been eagerly eavesdropping as they filed into the room. Crisis averted, Eliot sighed in relief. Now, he could hope that the rest of the ceremony would flow smoothly.

Weddings Schmeddings

Darcy

Darcy stabbed at his phone, trying to review the latest round of images for a new marketing campaign, but in reality too distracted from arguing with his friend Bing.

Weddings are pointless and a waste of time. It wasn't the first time Darcy had espoused this view, and it wouldn't be the last. You do realize that up to fifty percent of marriages end in divorce, right?

Ah, but that's fifty percent of marriages that don't, Bing countered. Stop being so glass half empty, Darcy.

And of those fifty that remain together, Darcy continued, ignoring his friend's admonishment. How many of them are miserable, but stay together because of circumstances?

Bing flicked a rubber band at Darcy's head, earning a glare. Look, I know you've got a thing against marriage because of your parents. I really don't blame you for being cautious. But just because their marriage ended in a flaming ball of horse manure doesn't mean everyone's will. And we haven't seen Kent Pritchard since graduation. I know plenty of the rest of the crew from university will be there. It would be good to see them again.

Most of our old friends were boring during our school years, and I'm sure they've only grown more boring since.

Bing laughed. You're such a sour face. It will be more fun than you give it credit.

Darcy sighed, setting his phone down. You're not going to give up until I agree to go, are you?

Nope. Bing beamed. One, it's the socially acceptable thing to do. Two, you need to get out of the house more often. Drink a little. Dance a little. Maybe kiss an omega.

That's not my style.

Bing shrugged. Maybe it should be. You're so serious all the time, Darcy. So responsible. You just need to let loose a little every now and then.

Darcy closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose. The real reason he was avoiding this wedding had nothing to do with it being boring or a waste of time—though those were both arguments he used vehemently any time one of their numerous friends or acquaintances decided to tie the knot. The real reason was that Darcy's mother was close friends with Kent’s mother, and there was no way Ms. de Bourgh—she insisted on being addressed by her maiden name these days—would miss any social event where she could flaunt her recently purchased and completely age inappropriate boob job and recent boy toy. Not that Darcy's father was any better, but at least he had as little patience for weddings as Darcy did. Darcy was surprised he'd managed to get through his own. The vows clearly hadn't meant anything to him.

Darcy hated airing his family's dirty laundry, though, so he would never confess to the true reason he was avoiding Kent’s wedding. It wasn't as if any of their circle was unaware of Darcy’s family’s situation.

Darcy did his best to avoid being reminded of it.

He had a hard time refusing Bing anything, though. Before Bing, Darcy had derided the idea of true friendship. Everyone wanted something from you. Friendships were just masks for beneficial exchanges. Bing had persistently disproved that over the years, being one of two people who had earned Darcy's complete devotion.

The other would be his sister, Gina. Somehow, despite their parents’ machinations and manipulations, she had remained one of the purest souls he'd ever known, right there with Bing. This made them both extremely susceptible to being used by other people, and more than a little dependent on Darcy's suspicious soul to protect them.

So you'll come? Bing might be oblivious to others' ill intentions, but he was very attentive to Darcy's weaknesses.

Under great protest, Darcy answered.

Excellent! Bing clapped his hands together. Carter will be happy you're coming, too.

Darcy had long ago trained himself to conceal his emotions so no grimace crossed his face at the mention of Bing's brother. Carter was a less terrible human than some, but he was annoyingly clingy. Darcy was willing to put up with just about anything for Bing's sake, though.

Do I need to buy a present? Darcy asked, all pretense of protest passed.

Just give me your card and I'll take care of it.

Darcy tossed Bing his wallet with complete trust. Just something tasteful, please. No more giant metal roosters.

Bing's grin was unrepentant. What are you talking about? The metal rooster was a huge hit.

Darcy stared down his nose at his friend.

Fine, fine. I'll buy something boring, Bing grumbled as he left, missing Darcy's rare smile behind his back.

Darcy didn't believe in arriving early, but he knew it was expected to arrive fifteen minutes or more before the start of the ceremony so everyone could be seated in a timely manner. Therefore, he arrived exactly fifteen minutes before the ceremony, no more, no less.

Bing and Carter had already been seated and waved at Darcy from the middle of the room, but the usher seated Darcy in the back of the nearly

Reviews for Pride and Pregnancy

[L'eau · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

It's sweet, but needs some editing. I can't believe even the blurb about the writing of the book needs editing... To spend so much time on something and let it be marred by something so basic seems careless and disrespectful of the author's hard work.