Somewhere In Between: Hate to Love You, #3

By Anna Albo

With law school finally behind her, Grace has tough choices to make. Does she stay in Minnesota or does she take her chances in Seattle with Carter?

 

When it becomes clear that nothing she can do will please Carter's parents, she knows she has to decide soon. And as much as the Logans want to drag her down, she's faced bigger obstacles in her life.

 

But an event makes her question everything about her future and soon Grace is facing even bigger problems. One is her career, another is her friendships, but the biggest one of all could blow her whole world apart. And when Jason comes back in her life, she has to make a decision. Does she want to be with Carter, or does she want to be with Jason.

 

Find out who wins the battle for Grace's heart.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Anna Albo
• Release date: Jan 24, 2021
• ISBN: 9781999102593

Anna Albo

Anna Albo is a prairie girl who loves the city.  From new adult to chick lit and everything in between, Anna writes contemporary romance and women’s fiction that makes people laugh and love. When Anna isn’t writing her latest book, she’s enjoying a cup of tea while attempting to create a culinary masterpiece. She lives with her partner Mike, their dog. To get updates and information on new releases, sign up for my newsletter by clicking on my website link.

Book preview

CHAPTER 1

I can’t believe it . I just cannot believe it. Can you believe it?

I grabbed my glass of Riesling and took a long, fulfilling sip of it. I can believe it. Sure, it was a long time coming, but we did it.

Anita sighed and flipped her shiny dark hair over her shoulder, and the most satisfied smile spread across her face. Another year has passed us by, but we will never have to attend another class again. We have graduated. We are lawyers.

Correction. We still need to wait for our bar exam results. So don’t get too excited.

Anita pffted me. That was a piece of cake. In no time, we are going to hit the pavement and get some kickass jobs. And then, after a few years of being junior associates, we’ll climb our respective ladders, and in no time, we will be the best lawyers this town has ever seen. After that, we build our own firm. We will run this town.

I loved Anita’s enthusiasm, but she was nuts. Let’s start with our job prospects before we conquer the world. You have seen what’s available, right? The pickings are slim.

Anita narrowed her chocolatey-brown eyes. Why are you being a party pooper? We should be celebrating, and you’re being all depressing. Drink some more wine. Maybe that will lighten you up.

She was right, I mean, not about the drinking-more-wine part. I really had to stop being a stick in the mud. Had law school jaded me already, when I hadn’t even worked at a law firm yet?

All right, I’ll be more positive. But finding a job isn’t going to be easy—

She put up both her hands. Stop right there. You are going to drink your wine and think more pleasant thoughts and say nicer things until the food gets here, got that? No more doom and gloom.

Yes, ma’am, I said with a salute.

We sipped our Rieslings in silence. I could see by the way Anita’s face was contorting that she had a lot on her mind. On one hand, so much had happened, and on the other hand, nothing much had happened at all. She was still dating Jesse; I was still dating Carter, but now we’d both graduated from law school. Yet, still, something was weighing on her, and she finally spit it out.

Do you think we’ll have to wait up to ten weeks for our results? Anita asked, running her index finger along the rim of her glass. I wish there was a way to get them faster. Like, we pay extra or something.

That wouldn’t be fair to us poor folks. And the instructions were pretty clear. We all get our results on the same day.

Oh, whatever. You know what I mean. I just hate waiting. I want to get on with my career.

Coming from the person who has never had to worry about a dollar in her life and who hasn’t ever worked full time for a single minute.

Coming from a person dating a future millionaire.

I rolled my eyes at that. Whatever money he makes is his.

A sly smile spread across Anita’s face. He makes you happy, doesn’t he?

He’s great, I said as nonchalantly as possible.

I wasn’t sure you’d make it through the year. Not with him out West and you out East. And let’s be honest: those puck bunnies were probably all over him.

Great. What a wonderful thought. Puck bunnies trying to seduce my boyfriend.

You know he worships the ground you walk on. That guy is so in love with you. If anyone was going to bail on the relationship, we both knew it would be you.

Excuse me!

Anita shrugged casually. Am I wrong?

To be honest, I wasn’t sure. When I’d left for Cornell last summer, Carter and I had said we’d see how the long-distance thing would go. I didn’t exactly have a stellar record when it came to keeping those distance-challenged relationships going, but we’d made it work the handful of times we’d seen each other over the eight months. And we talked a lot and video called. And despite what Anita thought, I’d never once considered bailing on the relationship.

I figured after a few months we’d start to drift, me immersed in school and Carter living the hockey life with puck bunnies fawning all over him, but he’d been just as devoted to our relationship in November or March as he had been last summer. And that tugged at my heart and told me everything I needed to know about him.

The man was a keeper, but I wasn’t so sure he could say the same about me.

I wasn’t sure either. It was a long time apart, I said.

He’s a good guy, you know that, right?

Anita was giving me her most stern of looks.

I know.

She pursed her lips now. I actually don’t think you do. Since you’ve been back, she said, looking at some invisible watch to make her point, and that’s been two and a half months—I’ve been getting the feeling you're holding back. That you’re not all in with him.

I furrowed my eyebrows in genuine confusion. I have no idea what you mean.

I know that Carter hasn’t noticed because he hasn’t said anything to Jesse, but I see it. It’s like you don’t want to get too attached. What’s going on?

If only she knew.

Nothing is going on. I’m simply trying to get settled back into life here. For the first time in three years, I’m not leaving in the fall. I finally have some stability.

Anita’s eyes opened wide. "So you aren’t leaving this fall? I just assumed you would."

Crap. That’s not what I’d meant to say, and now Anita was going to run with it.

What I mean is that I’m not leaving for Cornell this fall.

What about Seattle?

Mercifully, I was interrupted by the server who unceremoniously dumped our platters down and didn’t even wait around for Anita to ask for more wine. She harrumphed and snagged another passing waiter. While Anita tended to her beverage needs, I dove into my eggplant parmigiana and hoped Anita would forget the question she’d asked me.

Well?

I guess she wasn’t going to forget.

Well, what? He hasn’t even asked. Am I supposed to just invite myself along to a place I’m not sure I want to go to?

He’s going to ask, Anita said with a knowing nod.

Do you know that or are you speculating?

Speculating. No matter what I do, Jesse won’t spill.

Maybe Jesse doesn’t know.

He knows, but he also knows that I’d tell you and that would ruin the surprise. It’s some bro code those two have.

And that’s why you don’t know.

Anita leaned in closer. Why are you avoiding answering the question?

I’m not avoiding answering a question because it’s a speculative question.

All right, let’s try this again. If Carter asks you to go to Seattle with him, will you go? And I want a yes or no answer to my question.

There are a lot of intangibles there. I don’t think I could give you any real kind of answer right now.

Spoken like a true lawyer who doesn’t want to get herself caught.

But I’m serious. I really don’t know.

Anita dug into her stir fry and smiled when a new server brought her the wine she’d ordered.

Look, I get it, she said. Do you go there to nothing, or do you stay here with your best friend? It’s a hard decision.

I smiled at that. "It is a tough decision. Going to Seattle and trying to find a job in a city I have no roots in will be harder. And it’s not like Carter will be around all the time. And what if he doesn’t make the Storm this year?"

I think he’s got an excellent chance. Once they called him up from the farm team back in December, he stayed with the Storm the rest of the season. From everything I read, the coach was impressed with him. He’s definitely going to make the team this year.

I’m just saying that it’s a hard decision and one I don’t want to rush.

I don’t know how much longer you have. He could ask you any second. You'd better be prepared to give him an answer.

Then I’ll tell him I need time to think about it. That’s only fair.

Anita took a long and hard look at me. The kind that was trying to figure me out.

As much as I would want you to stay here, I wouldn’t blame you for going either, she said. It’s not like you’re leaving a job behind. Your future is a blank canvas. Do what your gut tells you to do, okay? And certainly don’t trust your heart.

Thank you for that, and I will.

But there is still that nagging part of me that thinks you’re putting up some kind of wall.

There’s no wall.

And you’re sure?

Yes. I’m a hundred percent sure.

I hated lying to her. I hated how much it was eating me up, but I couldn’t tell her. I couldn’t tell her about the ring, about the kiss, and worst of all, that I hadn’t left Jason McCarthy completely behind.

CHAPTER 2

The worst part of being home was living with my parents again. This gave me very little private time with Carter. We had to find ways to be alone, and with my mother off for the summer and my dad working weekends, there was someone home almost all the time.

It was like being in high school all over again and sneaking around with boys, except that I was twenty-six and a law school graduate. One way or another, my situation had to change. And if that meant finding a place of my own or going out to Seattle—providing Carter actually asked me along—something had to give.

Evan and Sara’s wasn’t an option, now that they had two little kids. Even if we offered to babysit, there was little chance both Simon and my niece, Jenna, would be asleep at the same time. The Logan house was also a stretch. Mrs. Logan had a crazy work schedule that Carter couldn’t keep track of, and his father was around most evenings and weekends. There was simply nowhere for us to go, so we made do the best we could.

Carter and I were hanging out in his parents’ backyard, the only place no one else presently was. They had a small pool and attached hot tub I hadn’t noticed the previous year. We were sunning ourselves and enjoying some solitude even if his little sister, Carly, was inside. Thankfully, both of his parents were at work.

It was a hot July afternoon, and Carter was sitting on the edge of the pool, his feet dangling in the water, and I had found some shade nearby. Carter’s face was angled toward the sun, his eyes closed and taking it all in. I was taking it all in too. Over the past year, he’d put on what he said was twenty pounds of muscle. Every pound of it looked fantastic. Since coming home, there were more than a few times I’d run my fingers along each muscle in his six-pack. I would have taken more advantage if we’d had more alone time.

I was thinking, he said, without opening his eyes or looking at me, what if I got a condo here? It could always be a place we could go to when I’m back for the summer. I thought about a house, but who would maintain it? Too much work. And I hate cutting the grass. My parents have made me do that since I was twelve. But a condo on the riverfront would be awesome. And I could lease it out or put it up on Airbnb or something when we’re not around. You know, real estate is a great investment and something I’d like to get started in. I want to make sure my money is protected.

This was all a very strange conversation. First, I’d never thought of Carter as a real estate mogul. Second, he seemed to be making plans for us and possibly presuming I was going with him to Seattle. Either that, or I wasn’t permitted to stay in this proposed condo of his when he wasn’t around. That didn’t seem likely scenario.

Those are pretty expensive places, I said, starting in diplomatically.

Yeah, I wouldn’t start with a penthouse. Maybe something nice to start and then when I make more money, I can think about something super nice.

Those are great plans.

Because this really sucks right now. Sneaking around all the time.

He stood up and dove into the water to cool off, and I assumed that was the last of the conversation about the condo, but when I went to join him later, and he pulled me into his arms for a kiss, he brought it up again.

My parents know an agent. Maybe we could go look at a few of these places. We have nothing to lose.

Yeah, true, but by the time you get the keys, you’d be heading off to Seattle.

I suddenly thought of Anita. She’d be telling me I was a party pooper, and she wouldn’t be wrong. Where had all this negativity come from?

Unless I could find one with quick possession. It wouldn’t hurt to look.

Sure, I suppose so, I said, wondering if we were both skirting around the issue of my situation or if that was just me all alone doing that.

He kissed me again, with more urgency this time. It was so easy responding to him. He was magnetic, a drug I couldn’t get enough of. Being apart as long as we were had me longing for him all the time. And when we would meet up, when our schedules had allowed for a few days at Thanksgiving, Christmas, and my school break, we couldn’t get enough of each other. We’d be holed up in his apartment in Seattle, and he’d only leave for practice or games. Then I’d go back to Cornell and my body would go into withdrawal.

Your sister is inside the house, I said between kisses.

She’s probably on her phone and completely oblivious.

I don’t want to scar her for life.

Carter laughed as his lips traveled down my neck. He knew all my weak spots.

You don’t think she’s fucking that boyfriend of hers?

I tried not to envision his sixteen-year-old sister kissing her boyfriend, let alone screwing around with him.

I would be mortified if she caught us.

Tell you what, he said, his voice dropping, how about I take you to the far edge of the pool. The bushes block anything she can see from the house. It also blocks all the neighbors. From there, I’m going to fuck you, and you’re really, really going to like it.

That assertive side to him had me weak at the knees and butterflies fluttering around in my stomach.

Okay, was all I could muster.

He took my hand as we waded to the far end of the pool, and he was right, Carly wouldn’t be able to see us from the house, but I wasn’t entirely sure the neighbors couldn’t see us. But in an instant, he had my bikini bottoms off along with his shorts. I straddled him, and despite the water with its futile attempt to pull us apart, Carter was inside me fully and completely. How much I lusted for this man and how easily he made me come scared me. He was like a drug I couldn’t give up, but if I took sex out of the equation, what was left?

Anything?

CARTER ASKED ME TO stay for dinner. There were two really good reasons I didn’t want to have dinner at the Logans: First, he’d fucked me in the pool only a few hours ago. Second, the Logans loathed me. While they tried to pretend they didn’t hate the mere sight of me, it was still pretty obvious. Angela Logan constantly had to force a smile while John Logan remained pleasant but distant. They almost never asked me a question and barely included me in conversation as if I were intruding in their household.

So it was always lots of fun.

We’ll leave right after dinner and hang out with Jesse and Anita, he said. It won’t be that bad.

I realized he had no idea how bad it was, but I’d stay for him.

John came home first and started on dinner. That was usually how it went when he was the first to arrive home. Angela wasn’t expected for another hour. I asked if I could help with anything, and as was usual, he politely declined with his phony smile.

If I had to guess, there were two distinct things they hated about me: I was five years older than their son, and I could battle wits with them. If Carter wanted to, he could as well, but I understood that it was difficult when you were the son of two domineering parents. They were also two people who’d shown little interest in the things he loved most. And I was also pretty sure they blamed me for the growing rift between son and parents. But if they bothered to know—which they didn’t—they’d know that I had nothing to do with it. In fact, I was trying to keep the peace, but Carter was seeing them more for who they really were, and there was nothing I could do about that.

I sat with Carter and Carly in the living room. Carly was engrossed in the current app all kids her age used. It was hard to relate to a kid who was nearly a decade younger than I was, but I did talk to her about school and current events. She was a smart kid who was primed to be a physician like her mother, but I think she would have loved a job in politics. She often asked me about law school, and I cringed at the thought of her choosing a career in law over medicine. I was sure Angela would blame me for that too. When Angela got home, John was finishing up dinner. Angela saw me and put on a fake smile of her own.

Hello, Grace, she said.

Hi, Angela.

She said nothing else and went upstairs to change. When she returned, we all sat down to dinner. It was painfully quiet and awkward, and I wished I hadn’t agreed to stay. The minute we were finished eating, I helped take the plates away. Somehow I found myself alone in the kitchen with Angela. She was loading the dishwasher, and I hoped to set down the plates I was carrying and make my escape, but she fixed her eyes on me, and I didn’t dare move.

I’m glad I have you alone, Grace. I’d like to talk to you.

Crap.

CHAPTER 3

Idid not want to talk to her. Not alone, anyway. But she was leading me outside where no one would hear us. Carly had gone out to meet up with friends, and Carter was involved in a deep discussion with his dad about something. I wondered if he was asking his father for the real estate agent’s name. That would open a whole new can of worms and keep him very busy with John and unable to come find me.

We haven’t had much chance to chat, Angela said, motioning for me to sit on one of the patio chairs. That told me instantly that this wasn’t going to be a short conversation.

That’s probably my fault, I said, taking a more tactful approach. I didn’t need to push her buttons unnecessarily. Since coming home, I’ve been studying for the bar and haven’t had a lot of extra time.

And yet you’ve found time to spend with Carter.

So she wasn’t going to give me an inch.

Carter is important to me. He’s an outlet. And I enjoy spending time with him. I just happened to spend all my free time with him.

Let me be direct. What are your long-term plans for my son?

I recoiled a bit. Carter wasn’t a career choice or an object for that matter. And then it hit me: she viewed her son as a possession. Carter was hers, and she needed me to know that she wasn’t going to give up that easily.

Carter isn’t a strategy or something I own. He’s my boyfriend.

I’m sure you understand what I meant by that.

No I don’t. Enlighten me, I said with genuine curiosity.

She shifted in her seat, and I could see she was scrambling a bit. She had to know I’d dissect every word she said, so that made her response a measured one.

We both know you’re a lot older than my son. And as you get older, you’ll want to tie him down. Perhaps he’s too young to be tied down.

The woman was a dinosaur.

I’m not looking to get married. I’m in no rush. Right now, Carter and I are dating. We are in a committed relationship. There is no need to look to the future.

Angela frowned at my answer.

This hockey thing of his is starting to work out. We can’t help but wonder where you fit in with all that.

I wanted to tell her to just spit it out, but she wanted to remain coy, so I planned to do the same.

I have no idea where I fit in with that. Carter is doing great. I’m sure he’ll make the team and be a regular this year, I said, wanting to add that it was no thanks to them.

And when he goes off to Seattle, I assume you will be staying here? To start your own career?

Maybe. I don’t know.

I wonder if maybe it’s best the two of you put your relationship on hold while you sort out your futures.

I absorbed her words, and before I had a chance to process what I wanted to say, words came flooding out my mouth.

Why don’t you like me?

My statement threw her off whatever course she was on. Her eyes opened wide for just a moment before she pulled herself together.

It’s not that we don’t like you.

Then what is it? From where I’m sitting, and from what I’ve observed, you don’t like me at all. And I don’t know why.

Well, we have some concerns.

Let’s stop dancing around here. Why don’t you tell me what they are so we can stop playing all these word games?

Angela took in a deep breath. I could see she was weighing whether or not she wanted to tell me the truth.

Since you want honesty, I’m going to give it to you. First, we think you’re too old for him.

I figured that one out right away. I’m not sure why it’s such a big deal. It’s five years, not twenty-five. And Carter’s not a little kid. He’s smart and mature. I wish you and John would see that.

We’d like to see him date someone closer to his age, she said, completely ignoring everything I’d said.

Translation: someone young and naïve who they could control.

Well, he prefers to date me. You both should accept it. But why don’t you tell me what your real concern is. I highly doubt it’s an age gap.

She gave me another measured stare. Normally, I would wither under that gaze, but I was so pissed off at her, that I didn’t care what she threw at me.

John and I think you may be interested in him financially.

And there it was.

So, like a gold digger?

No, of course not. We just worry that maybe you’re hanging on because he can help you.

Like a gold digger. But tell me, how would he help me?

Angela pursed her lips so tight I thought they’d split open.

Given Carter’s position, it may help you with your career.

So what you’re saying is that when I apply to law firms, you think I’d put Carter on my CV as my boyfriend? Like he was a job reference, or what? I’m a bit confused by that? Or are you suggesting that in job interviews, I tell them that my boyfriend is Carter Logan so they should hire me? Sort of like that?

Yup, I’d entered Assholeland, but I was so furious with her and her husband. To suggest that I was using Carter? It was rich coming from two parents who neglected Carter. Who did everything possible to make sure he didn’t pursue his dream.

Obviously, that would be ridiculous and you know that. What I’m suggesting is that maybe you will use him as a connection.

So are you suggesting I’d drop his name and expect doors to open for me?

Yes, something like that. You can’t say you’ve not considered that.

Oh, I can say it. I’ve never considered that.

Angela tilted her head and gave me that phony smile of hers. Did she actually think she could pass it off as sincere?

I know that you come from a working-class home. Your parents were shopkeepers at one time, and now your mom is a teacher and your dad works at your church. You don’t exactly understand what it’s like to have money.

Don’t speak for me ever, I said, knowing now that I was losing my cool. My parents were restaurateurs. And if you want to call it shopkeepers, go ahead. Be an elitist snob. I don’t care. But to suggest my background and my hard-working parents would equate to me being a gold digger says a lot more about you than it says about me.

My cheeks were flushed with anger, but Angela was nonplussed. As much as I wanted to rattle the woman, she was as cold as the Arctic.

Since you are so adamant, then I expect that you will never seek to claim anything that is Carter’s.

I don’t want anything from Carter other than his love and respect. I have never once indicated otherwise.

I hope that’s true. And John and I have one last concern.

I couldn’t wait to hear this one.

And that is?

We feel you have too much influence over him, and that he’s making decisions to please you and not what’s in his best interest.

The audacity. For probably every year of his life, Angela and John had been making decisions for Carter, and when he deigned to make decisions for himself, they asserted their influence as much as they could. So much projection.

You seem to have forgotten a conversation we had a year ago. I told you to trust your son, that he was stronger than you think. I had nothing to do with that. He found his confidence, confidence that you and your husband did everything you could to snuff out. You should be proud that he’s living out his dream, and instead you are blaming me?

We have never stopped him from playing hockey.

"But you didn’t encourage it. And that’s the same as stopping him. Why can’t you see that? Why can’t you see your mistakes? Stop blaming me and Carter for everything that didn’t turn out your way. That’s not fair."

The patio door slid open before she could give me another of her bullshit answers. Carter popped outside and looked at us both. By the way he tensed his jaw, he knew that nothing good was going on in the backyard.

Do I want to know what’s going on? he asked.

I stood up. No you don’t. Thank you for dinner, Angela. Carter, let’s get out of here.

CHAPTER 4

Carter didn’t ask me about the conversation I had with his mother on the patio. He probably didn’t need to. He knew who both his parents were, and I wasn’t going to feed into anything anymore. As far as I was concerned, they were off topic and going forward. If he did mention either one of them, I was going to remain neutral.

But I had more pressing matters than the Logans. Since returning home to Minnesota, I understood the importance of having a job, any kind of job, so I’d slunk back to Cathy and begged for my old one back at Anthony’s. And like the previous summers, she took me back without hesitation. I needed some kind of income until my bar results came back. I couldn’t do nothing for the next nine weeks. The lack of any kind of employment would only empower the Logans against me, not that I worried that Carter thought I was dating him for his money.

I’d started back shortly after returning from Cornell, and with the exception of Cathy, I was the oldest person there. And as I put in each shift, I became acutely aware that my time at Anthony’s was coming to an end.

This was the place I’d applied to when my parents were losing the steakhouses. It was my way of helping to pay the bills during a very dark time. It was the place I met Jason, and it was also the place that gave me stability. And soon I’d be leaving it behind for good, and that gave me pause. I’d miss Cathy like crazy, but I’d make sure to stay in touch. She was like another mom.

I’d arrived for work at six in the morning. I was starting to hate these shifts, but it gave me time to hang out with Cathy—the only other person who took these shifts, and mostly because she had to. It was the quietest part of the day, and as I filled the showcase with baked goods and sandwiches, Cathy