To Those Who Wait: The BallyKeevan Series, #3

By Mary J Binchy

Margaret and Patrick had once been the envy of everyone they knew. So close, so much in love. Too many miscarriages, too many dashed hopes and dreams, had broken them and driven a wedge between them.

Margaret had somehow managed to switch off her feelings. She had to. She couldn't face them. She went through the motions every day but felt nothing inside.

The effort she made to hide her sadness was taking its toll. At the end of each day she was worn out, too tired to make any effort with Patrick. She didn't want to talk about their painful losses. Conversation was reduced to small talk about the necessary, day to day sharing of household chores. They drifted further apart, each into their own painful and lonely world.

She longed for the closeness they once took for granted. She wanted him to take her in his arms and tell her everything would be ok. In fact, she wanted him to make everything ok. She knew that was impossible. He didn't have a magic wand.

Instead she dreaded his return from work each evening, knowing they would be walking on eggshells till bedtime. And yet she hated being alone and became angry when he stayed later and later at the office. Is this what life was going to be like forever?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Mary J Binchy
• Release date: Jan 1, 2021
• ISBN: 9781393386681

Mary J Binchy

Mary was born in Dublin and has lived for over 30 years in County Leitrim, in the heart of rural Ireland. While recovering from surgery in 2008, and with a little extra time on her hands, she did a correspondence course in creative writing. Sometime later, a chat with her local librarian led to the setting up of a local writers’ group which is still going strong. After some success writing short articles for magazines and being one of ten contributors to a book published by her writers’ group, she decided to take her writing a little more seriously. 

Book preview

The Dreaded Appointment

What’s up Mags? her husband Patrick asked, when he noticed her becoming more frustrated, as she went from room to room and back again. Don’t tell me you’re looking for your glasses again. Did you have them since you came back from Ballykeevan this morning?

Yes, but I can’t find the damned things anywhere, she answered. A letter arrived and it looks official. I wouldn’t mind, but I had them just before the postman came.

Patrick laughed.

What’s so funny? she asked, sounding extremely irritated.

Did you check the top of your head? Patrick asked, trying to hide any further laughter. He could see she wasn’t impressed.

Margaret raised her hand and sure enough there they were. This wasn’t the first time it happened. Normally she’d laugh too. But today she was anxious. As she opened the envelope her hands shook and she started to cry.

What is it Mags? Patrick was beside her now. It was the appointment she’d been waiting for and yet dreaded.

Patrick read the letter. I’ll drive you, he said, placing it on the table and wrapping his arms around her. She stiffened.

Everything will be fine, he said softly, and silently prayed he was right.

A painful history had almost torn them apart. They were still on shaky ground. How much more could they take?

That night Margaret found it hard to sleep. She was worried about the appointment and was afraid of the prognosis. She knew she would be facing at least a few days in hospital, maybe more, and she dreaded it. Everyone knew hospitals were scary, but they scared her more than most.

A history of miscarriage had caused so much heartache. She had been so down at the loss of her babies. Nobody understood, not even Patrick. She found it impossible to sleep at night and even harder to get up each day for work. Every morning when she woke, she put on her glad rags, her war paint and her best smile to face the world, though inside she felt dead.

Now in her late forties she was still finding it difficult to accept that she would never have a family of her own. She’d had so many private battles with her body. She felt flawed. Not good enough. It seemed like everyone else took having children for granted. She felt lonely, like she’d been excluded from an exclusive club she had longed to be part of.

She knew at the upcoming appointment she would most likely be told that she was facing major surgery, maybe further treatment too and she tried hard, albeit unsuccessfully, not to think about the worst possible scenario.

The day she attended for the dreaded appointment seemed like a lifetime ago. Yet everything happened so quickly.

Patrick had driven her to the hospital. She wanted to ask Mandy, her friend and neighbour, to come with