Life in the Moments

By Laura Lee McKellips

Life is a collection of moments. Most are wonderful, many are good, some are bad, and a few are terrible. They can blend to form a life or shatter one into pieces. As the high school football coach and art teacher, Beau and Amelia have shared many moments to get to this point. Their life isn’t easy, but they have overcome every obstacle that has been in their way.

Until now.

One terrible moment shifts their world off its axis. The moment Amelia discovers she has cancer. Not all cancers are pink, but Amelia’s was. As they process the news, they are reminded of their past through a series of moments. Now they’re in a fight against time facing an invisible foe to save not only Amelia, but their life together. With each failed treatment, Amelia slips further away. It’s up to Beau and the rest of the family to help Amelia fight.

Are their moments enough to save Amelia? Or will this fight blur those moments, and leave everyone shattered in the wake?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Laura Lee McKellips
• Release date: Oct 16, 2018
• ISBN: 9780463881736

Laura Lee McKellips

Self-proclaimed history bluff, Laura Lee McKellips writes romance novels laced with history as well as modern-day trials. She likes to write smart and funny heroines and equally strong and funny heroes.She is a mixture of all her characters including the males: funny, smart, sassy, outgoing, loving, and guarded. She lets her characters tell their story in their own way much to her dismay at times.After reading a self-published book in 2013, Laura Lee decided to type out one of the stories floating around in her head. Since then she has written Cursed Soldier, The Woman Behind the Letters, Sorority Sisters Duet (Courtney and Lily), Savannah, Slay the Demon, Falling for Cody, Life in the Moments, Diamond Dirt, and Siren Song. She is currently working on another historic novel based in her hometown.You can check out what she's up to on social media.Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/LauraLeeMckellips/?ref=hlTwitter: @leeredmarlinGoodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/7232508.Laura_Lee_McKellipswww.lauraleemckellips.weebly.com

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Life in the Moments

Laura Lee McKellips

Smashwords Edition

This book is dedicated to the cancer survivors, the ones still fighting, and their families.

Special dedication to my aunt Kitty McKellips. You were open and honest in your fight.

Extra special dedication to my little warrior. Your fight wasn’t with cancer, but it was treated the same. You showed me strength in the truest form. I love you Baby Groot!

Copyright © 2018 by Laura Lee McKellips

This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously.

All Rights Reserved. In accordance with the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, the scanning, uploading, and electronic sharing of any part of this book without the permission of the author constitute unlawful piracy and theft of the author’s intellectual property.

Thank you for your support of the author’s rights.

Except for the original material written by the author, all speeches are property of the respective writers and copyright holders.

Cover Design by fayefayedesigns

Edited by Barbara Alvarez

Shutter Stock Image: 173694281

Prologue

No, I don’t love you.

Life is measured by moments. It’s easy to remember the big moments. They’re either happy or sad on a grander scale, but they make an impact. Most people forget about the small moments, the little touches of love, respect, and caring that happen every day.

They are brief and gone before we realize it. We only remember those small moments in our darkest hours. A smile, a hug, some little flower that your son gave you on an ordinary day, it’s those moments you see when the world goes black.

It’s those moments we want to cherish in the dark when the walls are closing in.

When my world went dark, all I wanted was more little moments with my husband and son.

It was only then I realized that I was living my life in those small moments until one big moment changed everything.

One

Pain vibrated throughout Amelia’s body. The hot water from the washcloth didn’t help like she thought it would. Sinking to her knees, she hugged the toilet close and lost what she’d forced herself to eat only minutes ago. She couldn’t afford to lose anything, but the treatments were making her sick. Every time it was the same thing. They wanted her to eat, but as soon as she did, she threw it up. The doctor was concerned over the amount of weight she’d lost over the past two months and the medicine they gave her to combat the nausea didn’t help.

Nothing helped, except sleep.

Leaning back against the tub, she closed her eyes. She took several deep breaths to try to calm her stomach. Her hair had fallen to the side, so she pushed it out of the way. When she pulled her hand back, she saw the clump of hair she was used to seeing now. She was almost to the point of having no hair. It was a side effect, but she wanted to keep her hair as long as she could. It was probably time to give up her vanity and shave her head.

It wasn’t as if she could do anything with her hair. She didn’t even know where her curling iron or blow dryer were. Besides trying to use them would require more strength than she had at any given moment.

Are you okay? Beau asked as he knocked on the bathroom door.

She loved her husband, but she didn’t want him to see her like this. She tried to keep her sickness away from him. He vowed to love her in sickness and health, but this was different. No wedding vow ever included loving someone through chemo or radiation treatments.

She hated the look in his eyes whenever he saw her. It wasn’t pity, but it was something she couldn’t define. The love that once shone through those handsome brown eyes was clouded with the emotion she couldn’t name.

I’m fine, she said as she struggled to stand up.

Her legs barely supported her body on most days. In fact, she wondered if she would need a wheelchair before this was all over. When all of this started, the doctors warned her that it was possible. She scoffed at their suggestion. In reality, she didn’t want Beau or even Blake to push her in a chair. She wanted to prove she could make it through the treatments without too much assistance.

Other people made it through these so called treatments without the aid of a wheelchair. She would push herself to manage.

Do you need my help? he asked from the other side of the closed door.

No, she said as she sat on the toilet as another wave of dizziness hit her.

The dizziness was another side effect of the treatment. Every side effect the doctor said she could have, she did. He told her some people never experience any side effects. Well, she wasn’t that lucky. She experienced them all, every single day. Who were these people who never experienced the side effects? She needed to learn what their secret to success was.

Jelly Bean, let me help you, he said through the closed door.

He was pleading with her now, even using his beloved nickname for her. She couldn’t cave though. She must remain strong enough to survive.

No, I’m fine, she said with her eyes closed.

She wasn’t fine, but she didn’t tell him. He was worried enough as it was. Her parents were worried. His parents were worried. Everyone was worried about her. She couldn’t take the worry and pitying looks. It was one reason she stayed at home.

Of course, the other reason was because she couldn’t move without getting sick. The thought of being sick where someone could see her, sent chills down her spine. The doctor also ordered her not to drive, in case she passed out. Supposedly once her body got use to the new treatments, she’d regain some strength.

It hadn’t happened yet.

Do you need anything? he asked, softly.

A cure, she whispered through gritted teeth.

Placing her hand on the counter, she braced herself and stood up. The dizziness had passed.

She also knew that if she didn’t come out of the bathroom in the next few minutes, Beau would bust the door open. They didn’t need to replace another bathroom door right now.

A few weeks ago, she had passed out in the bathroom. When she didn’t answer, Beau broke through the door. Thankfully, she wasn’t near the door as he came through it. He rushed her to the hospital even though they couldn’t do anything other than send her back home.

It took Beau several days to replace the door; he had to measure and order it. Why the hardware store didn’t have a standard door in stock was odd to her. She didn’t want him to measure and order another one so soon.

The hardware store might question why the same door had broken a second time in only a few weeks. They might even assume there was another reason for the broken doors. She didn’t need anyone trying to figure out what was going on at home between her and Beau.

She gripped the knob and slowly turned it. The pain made her legs feel like jelly, but she forced herself to remain standing. Once she opened the door, she came face to face with her husband.

Beau Jennings had been her high school love. It still amazed her; that he’d asked her out. He was the star of the football team, while she had been an art student; they didn’t exactly move in the same circles. She wanted to fly under the radar while Beau was the highlight of their high school football team. It wasn’t that she tried to stay out of his way, she just tended to get lost in her art.

Amelia, you should’ve let me help you, he said.

He slid his arm around her body and let her use his strength. It was one of the first things she noticed about him in high school. His strength was the subject of more than a few of her paintings. It was something her friends teased her about at the time. She didn’t care because those paintings sold the most.

Painting him in uniform on the football field pushed her range of skills. She wanted to capture what she saw every Friday night when he took the field. The shine of the lights on his helmet to the blades of grass around his cleats. Truth was, Beau Jennings was her muse before they had ever spoke.

I need to lie down, she said, leaning into his side.

She hated how weak her voice sounded.

You can barely walk, he said.

Before she could protest, he scooped her up into his arms. It was something he could always do, but she knew it was easier now with her recent weight loss. She secretly loved it when he picked her up in high school. It was normally over the fence so he could bring her on the football field with him after a big win. She asked him why he always picked her up. His response was he couldn’t wait for her to walk around to the opening to join him on the field.

You know I can walk, she said as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

She leaned into his shoulder and allowed him to carry her to their bed.

Are you sure? he asked.

I was walking when you picked me up, she said, without opening her eyes.

He laughed as he tightened his arms around her. His arms felt like home. They always felt like home to her even when they broke up.

You don’t need to use all your energy trying to prove to me that you’re stronger than you appear. I already know how strong you are, he said as he stopped on her side of the bed.

Okay, she said as she breathed in his clean scent. He always smelled so good.

I made soup. I’ll bring you a bowl, he said as he eased her down on the bed.

No, I can’t.

She opened her eyes as he pulled away from her.

Amelia, you need to eat. The doctor already warned you about your weight loss, he said. He stood up and looked down at her.

She shook her head as he pulled the covers over her body. The warmth of the blankets let her know how cold she was. She never seemed to get warm anymore, no matter how many clothes she put on. Wool hunting clothes didn’t even keep her warm. It was a side effect of one of her medicines. When she found out which one, she would request something else. She hated being cold.

I know what the doctor said, but I can’t eat right now, she said, placing her hand on her stomach.

No one seemed to understand. The thought of food made her sick.

He sighed. Can I get you anything before you fall asleep?

Sleeping became her thing. It was her escape from the pain and weakness.

A shirt, she said, waving towards their dresser.

The shirt she was wearing was sticking to her body. She also wasn’t sure exactly how long she’d been wearing it. Her days blended and she couldn’t keep track. Beau helped her with her last bath. What day was it? After sleeping for a while, she would ask Beau to help her.

Do you need help putting it on? he asked.

Probably.

She watched as he walked to their dresser before returning with something for her to wear. She didn’t care what he picked as long as it was clean. He helped her to sit up before pulling her shirt up and over her head. Seconds later, he carefully slid the new shirt over her head and eased her arms through the sleeves before helping her lie back down.

She couldn’t even put on her shirt without help anymore. It was almost as if she was a child once again and needed help getting dressed. They didn’t even need to help their son, Blake, get dressed anymore and he was seven.

Get some sleep, he said. Blake needs help with his homework. Yell if you need me.

Bring Blake in here before he goes to bed, she said.

We can watch a movie up here once he finishes his homework, he suggested. We haven’t had a movie night in a while.

No, she said, shaking her head, causing it to hurt even more. I’m not up for a movie tonight. I want to give him a goodnight kiss. I missed last night.

Before all of this, she never missed a goodnight kiss for their son. Lately, she missed more than she wanted too.

I’m sure he understands since he fell asleep on the couch last night. I carried him to bed and he never woke up.

She sighed as she closed her eyes. I’m sure he does understand, but it doesn’t mean it’s right. I’m his momma, but I can’t be his momma right now. I can’t put him to bed, make his breakfast, or even pick out his clothes for school.

He wants you to get better, that’s how you’re being his momma right now, he said. Don’t worry about putting him to bed, making his breakfast, or picking out his clothes. I’m handling everything. I’m his father and it’s my turn to step up. You’ve handled more than I have.

She felt him kiss her forehead. It was one of her favorite kisses even now.

Football season is coming up, you won’t have time, she said.

Jelly Bean, I’m only the coach. I have plenty of time to take care of the team, our son, and you, he said.

She smiled at the mention of his nickname for her. Wish I could eat some jelly beans right now.

I can bring you some. I know there’s a bag hidden above the fridge, he said.

It was her secret hiding place from their son who also loved jelly beans. The only one in the house who didn’t like them was the one who’d given her the nickname.

No, I couldn’t eat them right now. I love you, she whispered, snuggling under the covers.

Love you, Amelia, he said.

She heard him as he left the room.

This entire situation was hard on all of them. It had been hard the moment she received the news. She never would’ve thought the small lump would turn out to be cancer. The thought never crossed her mind. No one in her family had cancer, as far as she knew. She was healthy and ate right. In fact, she made sure everyone in the house ate right. It wasn’t easy with a seven-year-old in the house who craved candy.

When the doctor asked her to come into the office and make sure there was someone with her, she knew the news was bad. No doctor asked you to come into the office and bring a loved one with you.

Not all cancers were pink, but hers was.

Opening her eyes, she glanced across the room. The pain medication taunted her from across the room. It had its own dedicated place on her dresser, as if it was as important as her jewelry or make-up. She refused to get up and take some. She could handle the pain for a while longer. The chemo would not defeat her today. It had already taken too much from her as it was.

Rubbing her shoulders, she noticed something different about the shirt Beau picked out for her. It wasn’t one of her many t-shirts she basically lived in these days. No, this one was something from her past. She knew it well since she wore it more than he did in high school. It saw many washings over the years. How Beau grabbed one of his old jerseys, she didn’t know. She thought they were buried at the back of their shared closet.

She was thankful though. It reminded her of the first time she met him. Who knew at the age of sixteen she would meet the love of her life? She didn’t, especially after their first meeting.

Who hit the hottest guy in the face with their locker?

Amelia Blake, that’s who.

Two

Age 16

Amelia stood up as Mrs. Foster dismissed class. She had just enough time to get to Coach Spencer’s history class on the other side of the building. Why anyone would build this big of a high school was beyond her. The same person must not like her either since they scheduled back to back classes on opposite ends of the school.

Amelia, can you put my book in your locker?

Turning to look at her best friend, Amelia sighed. Stopping by her locker would take too much of her precious time. Gia, what’s wrong with your locker? I don’t have time to swing by mine before my next class.

My locker is on the other side of the school because of my stupid homeroom class. Your locker is literally down the hall, Gia said, pointing in the direction of her locker. You’ll pass it on your way.

But I never stop between third and fourth period. It takes too long to open it and this is our shortest break before classes, Amelia said as she hitched her backpack strap higher on her shoulder.

Please. I’ll love you forever, Gia said as she leaned into Amelia’s side.

Your love will make me late for class, Amelia stated as she rolled her eyes.

You’re a straight A student. I’m sure they’ll let you slide.

It’s Coach Spencer’s class, Amelia said. He doesn’t let anyone slide except for the football team.

They run laps during practice for being late to class, Gia informed her.

I’m not even going to ask how you know, Amelia said as she held out her hand. Give me your book. If I stand here much longer, I’ll be late for sure.

Oh thank you, Gia said as she threw her arms around Amelia’s neck.

Seconds later, Gia released Amelia and handed over her book.

You want it back after school? Amelia asked as she tucked it under her arm.

I’ll grab it in the morning. I have to cover the counter today. My mom is going to parent teacher conference at Trisha’s school, Gia explained. Apparently, the little brat is super smart. Holly better not be as smart or I’m going to look like the dumb one.

You’re not the dumb one. Call me when you’re off, Amelia said. I’ll be up finishing my English paper on Shakespeare.

I will, good luck with Spencer, Gia said.

The two-minute bell rang which sent both of them rushing in opposite directions.

Amelia slid to a stop in front of her locker. Spinning the dial, she jerked the door. It didn’t open. Of course, it didn’t open on the first try, that would’ve been awesome luck. She knocked on it three times and jerked it harder. It hung for a moment then finally opened right into someone’s face.

Ow!

Oh, I’m so sorry, she said as she threw Gia’s book into her locker before slamming it shut. Are you okay?

It’s fine, the guy replied through his cupped hands.

At least it’s what she thought he said. The muffled words could’ve been anything. His eyes were closed. She knew he was in pain. Of course, if someone would’ve slammed a locker in her face, she would in pain as well. She probably would be on the ground, moaning. Of course, she would’ve not been this close to the lockers.

Let me see, she said as she placed her hand on his shoulder. I didn’t see you there. I was in a hurry and my locker sticks sometimes.

Must be some class, he said as he lowered his hands.

You’re bleeding, she said as she recognized who she’d hit.

Blue eyes stared at her from under shaggy, dirty blonde hair. She knew those eyes and hair well. There were featured in the school newspaper and the county newspaper almost every week.

This would not help her social status, what little there was. Then again, she really didn’t care about her status. It didn’t mean anything, anyway.

It’s nothing, he said before cupping his nose again. I’ve suffered worse on the field.

You need to go to the nurse, she said. Come on, I’m already late, what’s a few more minutes?

I thought you were in a hurry, he said as he lowered his hands again.

I was, but this is my fault. I’m sure Coach Spencer will understand, she said as she reached for his hand.

Probably not, he said as he tilted his head back and pinched his nose between his fingers. We have a big game on Friday.

Big game? You play football? Playing dumb was the best route. She didn’t need anyone finding out what she’d done.

You don’t know who I am, do you?

The guy I hit with my locker? she asked before smiling.

He laughed.

Come on, you really do need to see the nurse, she said wrapping her arm around his waist. I’ll grab a note from the nurse explaining why I’m late.

Fine, if it’ll make you feel better, he said as they walked down the hallway. Are you free Saturday night?

Are you asking me on a date?

Yeah, I would ask you out for Friday night, but I’m busy as you already know, he said.

She smiled and shook her head. I think you may need a brain scan or something. I think you have a concussion.

What makes you say that?

You’re asking out the girl who made your nose bleed, she said. I’m sure your street cred will suffer if anyone found out.

I think I can handle a dip on my cred, he said before laughing. And, I don’t have a concussion. I know what those feel like.

I’m sure you do, she said as she remembered the hit he took last year which sent him to the hospital.

They paused outside the nurse’s office as she reached for the handle.

Wait, you never answered my question. Are you free Saturday night?

I am, she replied.

As long as you promise not to bloody my nose again, you want to go out? he asked as he finally tilted his head down to look at her.

She smiled. If there are lockers involved, I can’t promise anything.

No lockers then, he said, smiling. We can meet at the Juice Bar, say around 7.

She thought about his idea for a few moments. The captain of the football team asked her out and she paused. What was wrong with her? Smiling she gave him her answer.

Then I would love to go out with you, Beau Jennings.

Wait, you know who I am? he asked in shock. I thought you said you didn’t.

Actually, I didn’t, but I do got to this school. You’re the star running back; of course, I know you, she said. I would be more out of the loop than I am, if I didn’t know who you were.

He nodded