Junior "Eh": Red Line Series, #1

By TB Mann

Three chances to experience love. Domineering and neglectful parents. Does she have the courage to defy them, to take what she really wants?

Excited for her summer of freedom, Kayla longs to experience life. Something she doesn't while under the all seeing eye of her stepmother. With the help of newly minted professional hockey players, the neighbour boy, Ryan, and his best friend, Kris, love is in the air. But when an emergency at home rips her away, can their love survive?

Devastated and confused, Kayla struggles to meet the new demands placed by her parents. Problems better suited to an adult, not a sheltered teenage girl. But when her sister's student doctor, Adam, offers more than a shoulder to lean on, does she have the courage to take another risk?

Life isn't finished with her yet. Punches continue to come. It's all part of growing up. Making tough decisions and standing on her own two feet. But does she have the courage to leap from Junior "Eh" to the big leagues?

This coming of age story is the first book in the completed duet about the loved shared by Kayla, Ryan, Kris, and Adam. Their second chance love story can be found in Changing On The Fly. Read their story along with the love stories of Ryan's two other professional hockey playing brothers in the Red Line Series, books about sharing love.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Heart Sisters Publishing Inc
• Release date: Jan 8, 2019
• ISBN: 9781999486648

Book preview

Chapter One

Junior Eh is a play on Junior A hockey. Prior to 1970, what we now call Major Junior Hockey was called Tier One Junior A. Major Junior Hockey consists of three of three leagues (WHL, OHL, and QMJHL) which are the premier league of amateur hockey in Canada.

Players are between the ages of 16 to 20.

On their 18 th year, if their birthday falls on or before September 15 th, they can choose to enter the hockey draft for an opportunity to play in the NHL.

Your life motto is: Life’s a bitch and then you die.

Really? I couldn’t stop the snort that came from my mouth as I read the result of the stupid online quiz. I knew all about life being a bitch, but I hadn’t let it stop me. If anything, I lived my life under the saying every cloud has a silver lining. And I had lots of clouds.

When I was six and my older brother ten, our mother walked out on us. I didn’t remember any fighting between her and my dad. In fact, I thought we were a happy family. I was my mommy’s little princess and daddy’s little girl. But on that day, I gave up on being a princess and became daddy’s little girl full time.

We had a wonderful relationship—just the three of us. My brother and father were my knights in shining armour. We went everywhere and did everything together. And since my brother loved to play hockey—he was good at it—I spent a lot of time in arenas next to my dad. Hockey became our bonding time. It was the one time where I had him all to myself.

My father worked hard with long hours. And when he worked, my brother and I were left together. He was my protector and best friend. I would sit for hours logging all his timings, his repetitions, his stats, anything he needed me to while he trained off-ice. All because I loved him with every fibre of my small body.

The closeness between my father, brother, and me was the silver lining from the cloud of my mother leaving.

At age ten, my father bundled us up into the car and we headed off for a summer vacation. The first we’d taken since my mother walked away. After hours in the car, we stopped in front of a vaguely familiar house. Where are we?

My father turned off the engine before turning to face me. We’re at your Aunt Susan’s house. She’s your mother’s sister.

I felt a small stirring at the back of my mind. The name sounded familiar, but I couldn’t place it until Aunt Susan stepped out her front door onto the porch. With a squeal, I jumped from the car.

She stepped off the porch and wrapped her arms around me. My dear, Kayla. Boy, have you ever grown. I snuggled in, breathing the scent of baking and earth that I remembered fondly.

My father stayed for a week. But he let my brother and I stay for the summer. I missed him dearly, but I loved spending the time with Aunt Susan. My brother loved it there as well, but I think it had more to do with my Aunt Susan’s neighbours, the Scotts’. They had three boys and all of them were heavily involved with hockey. When they went off to various hockey camps, they took my brother with them, leaving me all alone.

Aunt Susan and Mrs. Scott became two of my silver linings. For the first time since my mother left, I spent time around other females. Between them, they kept me busy learning how to garden and cook among other girly type activities. It was different from spending time in hockey arenas with nothing but males, and I enjoyed it. But I would have been lying if I said I didn’t miss hockey.

I don’t know what happened that summer—Aunt Susan maintained she only offered to be a female resource for me as I prepared to enter womanhood—but dad changed. He still spent time with me at the arena and we never missed a single hockey game or practice my brother participated in, but he also spent one or two evenings a week away from the house.

That Christmas Eve, after I changed in my PJs and climbed onto his lap for our traditional Christmas Eve story, my father informed us that a woman would be spending Christmas Day with us. He wanted us to be on our best behaviour. My brother’s face frowned, but I readily agreed. The fact my daddy wanted to ensure the unnamed woman without a family could celebrate a family Christmas made me love him even more. No one was more compassionate and loving than him.

Christmas morning passed in a joyous haze. My brother and I received a few small presents before I gave dad the handmade presents I’d worked on for weeks. Dad sat and watched me bake cookies. They were ones that Aunt Susan had taught me to make. I had hoped that they would be a nice treat for the woman Dad invited over. I wanted to make the lady feel welcome.

The woman arrived at our apartment door wearing a pretty dress and carrying two wrapped gifts. She kissed me on the cheek and gave me one of the large wrapped boxes. With a happy smile, I unwrapped the box to find a beautiful doll. When I moved to open the box, she stopped me, explaining the doll was to be looked at, not to play with.

It was the first hint that she wasn’t as nice as she seemed. But even then I was willing to give her a chance… anything to keep the large smile on my daddy’s face.

Throughout the afternoon, she continued with her little digs when my father wasn’t around. She questioned why I wasn’t wearing a dress. Made a comment about my hair being too short for a girl. They were all along similar lines, suggesting I wasn’t girly enough. They didn’t mean anything to me, but at fourteen, my brother wasn’t happy. To me, I just knew that I didn’t like her.

But the worst was when she finally took a bite of one of my cookies before spitting it back out onto her plate. When my father left the room to get her a glass of milk instead of the various drinks we had on the table, she leaned over, putting her face in front of mine. Don’t think that I will forget how you tried to poison me today.

I was mortified and my brother wrapped his arm around me as I tried to keep the tears from falling. The cookies tasted perfectly delicious to me and both my dad and brother had eaten a handful of them without any issues. But her words struck deep. Worry filled me. Would my brother or dad die because they ate my cookies? Would I?

My dad returned with the glass of milk. The sneer on the woman’s face turned into a delighted smile. After taking a sip, she suggested that the adults move to the living room to watch something on TV. When my dad agreed, my brother made an excuse to go to his bedroom, leaving me alone at the empty table. I didn’t mind. It gave me time to throw all my cookies into the garbage while I cleaned up from supper.

Just before bed, my dad called my brother and me out into the living room. With a smile on his face, he motioned to the woman’s left hand. We’re getting married. Come give your new mother a kiss goodnight.

I stood still, not knowing what to do. I didn’t want a new mother. Things in our family were great with just the three of us. And if I could keep visiting Aunt Susan during the summer, I had everyone I needed. A new mother was not needed. Especially her.

My brother snorted and walked from the room, leaving me all alone with the happy couple. And happy they were. My father beamed, even if his eyes dimmed momentarily when my brother walked out.

Kayla?

I bit my lip. My heart thumped. For him, I would do anything. And with the threat of his dying from my poisonous cookies looming over me, I gave in. It took four long steps before I was close enough, but I did it. I leaned in and kissed her leathery cheek. Goodnight. Turning, I threw myself into my father’s arms. I love you, Daddy.

The woman cleared her throat loudly. I believe you told Kayla that it’s her bedtime. Kayla, you should listen to your father.

He patted my back, gave me a kiss on the top of my head, and let go. Goodnight, baby girl.

I nodded and walked out of the room. But I didn’t move fast enough not to hear my soon-to-be stepmother tell my dad how he was spoiling me.

They were married before summer and my life changed dramatically. We could no longer live in our small apartment as the stepmonster, I mean stepmother, didn’t like it. Before school finished for the year, we moved into a house and a new school. I wasn’t allowed to wear my usual pants or shorts to school but instead was forced to wear dresses and skirts.

My silver lining… the new house gave me more room to hide from my stepmonster.

Another silver lining was hockey. It became my saving grace. When my stepmother said it wasn’t right for me to spend so much time around boys at the arena, my father, who rolled over on everything else, put his foot down. Hazel, it’s our special time together and I’m not giving it up. Kayla will continue to accompany me to the practices and games along with her brother.

My stepmother made a sour face but let it pass. I already knew, from earlier experiences, that I wouldn’t like the consequences, but for hockey and my dad, I would put up with anything.

Since hockey stayed the same, I assumed—you know what they say about assuming, but I was too young then to know it—our summer vacation would stay the same. My brother would attend hockey camps, and I would get to go back to my Aunt Susan’s. But I was wrong. He still attended hockey camps, but for the next two summers, I was stuck on boring vacations to wherever my stepmonster wanted to go. The rest of the summer, I was subjected to her version of how to be a lady training. It was nothing like my time with Aunt Susan, and I desperately missed her.

Life became unbearable with my stepmother, but my dad appeared happy to have her. Still wanting to please him, I sucked it up. When they announced that my brother and I were getting a new sibling in the fall, I didn’t know what to think. My brother, on the other hand, found a way to escape our crazy life. He entered the junior hockey draft for the Western Hockey league instead of the local Ontario draft, leaving me all alone to face the new changes in our family.

His absence left a massive hole in my heart. One that never closed completely. If only he’d written or called on the phone, then it wouldn’t have been so bad. But from the moment he waved, after giving me a hug, and walked through the security doors at the airport, I never heard from him again. Only the occasional article or news story about him allowed me to know that he was still alive.

I knew nothing of babies and wasn’t sure how I felt about becoming an older sister. But the day my baby brother came home from the hospital, I fell hopelessly in love. My stepmother did only the barest minimum to look after my baby brother, so at the tender age of twelve, I spent my non-school time caring for him. That was until she became jealous of the baby’s affection for me.

As summer approached, with tensions running high, my father—I could no longer call him Dad—arranged for me to spend the summer with Aunt Susan. I finally had my own escape plan, even if it was only for eight weeks.

My father pulled our brand new expensive car into my Aunt Susan’s driveway. Before he could even turn off the engine, I jumped out and rushed into her open arms where I promptly burst into tears. The smell of fresh baking and dirt clung to her, and it soothed the hurt in my chest.

I’m sorry I can’t stay, but thank you for taking her for the summer, Susan. My father deposited my suitcase filled with dresses and skirts on the porch by the front door. Give me a hug, baby girl. He held open his arms for me.

The use of my old nickname caught me off guard. I hesitated, overcome with longing. Even our hockey nights, which without my brother living with us only amounted to home games for our local junior team, my father held himself back from me. He no longer showed me the same level of affection, and I felt its loss.

His face puckered and his eyes shone with what I thought were tears as I stood looking at him. I wanted nothing more to rush into his arms to be his little girl again, but a distance had grown between us.

He took a step forward.

And I matched it.

The next second I found myself clutched to his shaking chest. His strong arms wrapped around me. Remember, baby girl, no matter what happens, I will always love you.

His words broke the dam in me. Until that very moment, I hadn’t realized how much I missed him even though we lived in the same house. I love you, too, Daddy, I said through my tears.

We stood like that until my tears slowed. When he stepped back, his thumbs wiped all traces of them from my face. Be good for your Aunt Susan and I will be back at the end of summer to pick you up.

With that he turned and walked away. He never waved or even looked at me as he backed the car out onto the road.

My aunt’s arm wrapped around my shoulders. I’m so glad you’re here. Let’s get you inside and you can tell me exactly how bad it is.

I never loved my aunt more than I did right then. She never tried to tell me things would get better or to just suck it up. Instead, she gave me a safe spot to land when things got rough.

She commiserated with me over supper when I told her all about my stepmother and my baby brother. I told her how I missed my older brother but was glad he escaped. When I told her about the dresses and skirts, she tsked and made plans to purchase me appropriate clothing the next day.

That night when I went to bed, I felt hope. Hope for the future. Hope for dreams I had yet to think of. And most importantly, hope that something good would be right around the corner.

Silver linings. They were always there, I just needed to look.

Chapter Two

Summer Age 16

Kayla, you’re back! A red headed boy seated on my aunt’s steps called as my dad pulled our new car to a stop in my aunt’s driveway.

That’s the neighbour boy, Ryan, right? The one younger than your brother. Who plays for Kingston? My father rolled up the windows and turned the key shutting off the engine.

I couldn’t help the grin that split my face, bringing pain to my cheeks. It is. I can’t believe he’s here waiting for me.

The door beside me opened, and Ryan leaned into the car. Hi, Mr. Erickson. Ryan held his hand out in front of my chest. I couldn’t help the small inhalation nor the slight blush that rose on my cheeks as I realized how close he’d come to brushing across my chest. If my boobs—much smaller than I wished—had been a cup size larger, he could have copped a feel.

My father glanced at me through narrowed eyes but didn’t say anything. He shook Ryan’s hand and then began to discuss the previous hockey season.

Slowly, I twisted to pop open my seatbelt. We’d been in the car for over four hours, and I wanted out. My movement didn’t go unnoticed, and Ryan shifted slightly to help. The problem… he shifted at the same time I did. His naked arm brushed up against my t-shirt clad breast.

We both froze for a split second, but then Ryan carried on as if nothing happened. Me… I was mortified.

For the previous two years, maybe even three, I’d developed the biggest crush on Ryan and his best friend Kris. That first summer, back when I was ten, they spent most of their time with my brother doing hockey related activities. But my first full summer back with Aunt Susan, they’d taken me under their wing, allowing me to perform all the same chores I’d previously done for my brother when he trained.

Each summer we spent more time together, becoming fast friends, but I knew nothing would ever come of my crush. After all, both Ryan and Kris were fabulous hockey players who would be turning professional. In fact, Kris had been drafted to play professional hockey in Ottawa just the month before.

Besides their hockey skill, both boys were gorgeous. And it wasn’t just me who thought so. There was never a shortage of girls trying to throw themselves at the two of them. Between my age and how I looked—my stepmonster never stopped reminding me how plain my looks were—I knew I could never compete.

But every time they stood up and protected me from some of the nastier girls who hung around them, my heart pitter-pattered. It made me fall a little deeper in love with them even though their actions reminded me of my brother. They acted like he would, making me realize they thought of me as their little sister. I guessed a sister was better than nothing, but not when he touched my breast.

Ex-excuse me. I-I need to get, I stammered as I interrupted their conversation.

Right. I noticed you hadn’t gone to the bathroom before we left, Kayla. I imagine you have to go pretty badly by now. Maybe next time you’ll listen to me.

I slammed my eyes shut to prevent the tears from falling. Gee. Thanks, Father. As if I wasn’t already mortified.

The body leaning over me vibrated with suppressed laughter. I knew it was laughter because I could hear the rising hysterics in his voice when he apologized for trapping me in the car.

If ever I prayed for a hole to open, to swallow me, it was then. I didn’t know how my father could embarrass me like that.

Gathering what dignity I could, I allowed Ryan to help me from the car. Unable to speak for fear I would cry, I nodded my thanks and rushed into the house. My rapid retreat probably bolstered their idea that I needed to use the bathroom when I didn’t, but I didn’t care. I needed a hug from my aunt. She was the only one who could take away the sting from my humiliation.

Aunt Susan, I called out as I ran into the house. I’m here.

Her head popped out around the doorway leading to her sunroom and greenhouse. A large smile lit up her face and her hazel eyes twinkled merrily. Katybear, you’re here. Well, come on girl, come give me a hug.

As I rounded the doorway and stepped into her open arms, I understood why she’d only leaned around the door jam. She’d been in her greenhouse or maybe her outdoor garden working and was covered in dirt. The rule in her house was that you had to strip off in the attached laundry room before stepping into the main parts of the house. To facilitate clean up, she’d installed a walk-in shower and always kept clean towels and robes for after.

But a little dirt never hurt me. So, I didn’t hesitate to jump into her arms for a bone crushing hug.

My aunt was only in her mid-forties and kept herself in great shape. She lived alone, but friends always dropped by. As far as I knew, she’d never married, nor did she appear to have a significant other, but I also never asked her about it.

Everything alright, Katybear? she asked when I continue to burrow into her chest.

I can’t believe my father would say something like that. Especially in front of Ryan. I was so embarrassed.

What did he say? Her hand stroked down my caramel coloured hair that flowed to mid back. Gratitude filled me when she ignored my comment about Ryan. She never asked outright, but I suspected she guessed about my crushes.

He lectured me about using the bathroom before going on a long drive. Even I heard the childish whine in my voice, but all she did was chuckle.

Katybear, bathroom habits are just a normal part of life. There’s no need for embarrassment, although your father could have picked a better time and not lectured you about it. I mean, you’re sixteen now. You’re almost a fully grown woman.

Somehow her words made me feel better. Or maybe it was just her hug. But either way, life could function again.

Thanks, Aunt Susan. I’m going to go wash my face.

You do that, sweetie, and I’ll get your father something to drink and a snack before he heads home.

I walked toward my room with a lightened step. Aunt Susan always made things better. It was why I loved coming here every summer. I hated the fact my parents wouldn’t let me call her during the year—they never said officially why, but I think it had something to do with Aunt Susan being my mother’s sister, though it could also have just fallen under the I’m not allowed to use the phone rule. But every month, without fail, she called me to talk for the thirty minutes I was allowed to speak on the phone with her. It wasn’t much, but I cherished every moment.

Pushing the door open to my bedroom—Aunt Susan had it decorated for me and never allowed anyone else to use it—I jumped, startled to see Ryan lying propped up on my bed.

He opened his arms for me to climb into. I’m so sorry if I embarrassed you, Kitkat. I didn’t mean to.

I snuggled into his arms, wishing his hugs were more romantic than platonic. He always had a scent of spicy cloves clinging to him, and I breathed in deeply. Whenever I smelt cloves at other times of the years, it reminded me of him, of my summers of freedom, and increased my loneliness. It wasn’t you, Ryan.

His